


Alpha and Omega

by out_of_order247



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Choking, Consensual Kink, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Choking (Star Wars), Humor, Light Bondage, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance, Smut, Snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 124,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_of_order247/pseuds/out_of_order247
Summary: Let's meet little Ada Zahn and friends! I thought it would be nice to get to know the character a bit more before jumping into the action. Quarantine has given my brain way too much time to think, so I just needed to get all these thoughts out of my head and onto ... "paper"?Anyway, welcome to Isobe!
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren & Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's meet little Ada Zahn and friends! I thought it would be nice to get to know the character a bit more before jumping into the action. Quarantine has given my brain way too much time to think, so I just needed to get all these thoughts out of my head and onto ... "paper"?
> 
> Anyway, welcome to Isobe!

_Oh, he’s trying a new hiding spot_ , Ada thought as she quietly stalked her friend through the thick foliage. The forests of Isobe made for some incredible games of hide-and-seek.

Ada paused, listening intently for any unusual sounds - sometimes she could flush her friends out of hiding if she was patient enough. They knew she was a fierce hunter, and their fear would get the better of them, eventually.

Nothing moved except the breeze through the tops of the trees, birds chittering away. Then, a small crack of a twig breaking. Instinctively, she knew it was Calestian. 

Ada broke into a sprint toward him. She knew, somehow, exactly where he had been this whole time, no longer doubting her senses. 

She caught a flash of him running through the trees and into a thicket. He was faster, they both knew it, but she had her keen senses guiding her. Ada padded around the edge of the thicket, laying in wait. Cal could either come back out the way he went in, or he could try to sneak out through the secret passage. Ada, Calestian, and Krindi had created a series of tunnels through the thick brush. It was like a maze, and if someone unwittingly wandered in without knowing which paths to take to get out, they could end up lost in there for hours. 

She heard a rustling noise as Cal tried sneakily to worm his way out of the foliage, nettles and thorns clawing at his clothes. 

“Argh,” he gritted his teeth and tore at the offending bushes, “Off! Get off!”

“You’re it,” Ada said smugly as she stood, arms crossed, waiting as Cal disentangled himself. 

“Damn it! I thought I had you for sure this time,” Cal exclaimed as he looked up at her boots.

“Not a chance, friend.”

“You find Krindi yet?” he asked.

“She’s hiding in the well. She always hides there,” Ada replied.

“That’s been her hiding spot the last three times we’ve played! She has to have a new spot by now,” Cal retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Standard bet?” Ada asked. “Fine,” Cal said, “She’d better not be down in that well.”

Ada found Krindi exactly where she thought she would. Krindi had taken to hiding in the well every time in the hopes that consistency would throw off Ada’s fine-tuned instincts; so far, Krindi had been unsuccessful. 

“Seriously, Krind, you’ve got to stop hiding there. I keep losing bets and I’m tired of having to milk Ada’s goats every morning,” Cal whined.

“Then I guess you should stop making dumb bets,” Krindi retorted.

Ada snorted and laughed at her friends as they bickered the whole way back home. She was so glad of their companionship, the easy way they all got along with one another, even when they were arguing. There was nothing that couldn’t be settled between them. 

“Hey!” Krindi said, excitedly, “Is that a Burundi bird? If there’s a nest nearby, we should look for the eggs. They taste devine poached for breakfast.”

Looking up into the trees, Ada saw the bright green and red plumage of the Burundi bird as it landed in its enormous nest. Burundi birds were gigantic with a wingspan as large as a full-grown Sephi. 

“I can climb up and snatch the eggs,” Cal said, “We just need to scare it off first. I’m not interested in losing a hand today.”

Krindi picked up a stone and tossed it toward the nest. It missed by a considerable amount. Cal followed suit and threw with all his might, but the rock sailed over the nest without the bird noticing. Ada picked up a rock, took a deep breath, and concentrated on making the bird fly away. The rock hit the bird directly on its tail feathers and it soared away with an offended squawk. 

“Nice shot!” Cal said, and he quickly began moving up the tree, branch by branch. 

He really is an excellent climber, Ada thought fondly. It was like Cal knew every tree he climbed by heart since he rarely paused to think of his next jump or swing.

As he neared the nest, he gracefully navigated the branch as though he were walking on a tightrope - surefooted and confident. Cal crouched down and took one of the massive mint-green eggs in his hand.

“I’m only going to be able to snag one!” he called down to Ada and Krindi, “I’ve got to keep my hands free to get back down!” Cal pulled his frock over his head and tied it into a sling, into which he slipped the egg.

As Ada watched, she felt a sudden surge of unease. Something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t put her finger on what was amiss. Cal was graceful as ever on his descent, but she worried all the same.

“Be careful, Cal!” she called up to her friend.

“Everything’s fine!” he replied.

He was halfway down when the Burundi bird returned to her nest and saw one of her eggs missing. The Burundi bird, being too intelligent for her own good, turned her beady eyes on Cal and saw he had pilfered the egg. 

With a flurry of ruffled feathers and an indignant screech she hopped from limb to limb, quickly catching up to the thief and applying the full brunt of her rage on Cal. She pecked at his arms and tore at his face with her talons, as Cal’s friends watched in horror from below. 

Ada watched as Cal lost his grip, and as if in slow motion, he dropped from the sky. At the height he fell, there was little chance he would survive the impact. 

On instinct, Ada reached out with her hands and willed Cal’s fall to slow. She concentrated on keeping him from hitting the largest branches and hoped with every fiber of her being that she could save him. At her side, Krindi was sobbing and clutching at Ada’s clothes. 

When at last Cal hit the ground, the world went quiet; the two girls stood next to one another, perfectly still, not breathing, until Krindi dashed forward. Ada was rooted to the spot; too terrified to move in the event that Cal was dead. She’d seen dead things before, but never another person - never someone she loved.

Suddenly the world came rushing back in; the shrieking of the Burundi bird, Krindi senselessly praying over Cal’s lifeless body. The clouds passed over the sun, sending a chill through Ada’s body. Hesitantly, Ada took a step toward Cal and Krindi.

“Is he breathing?” Ada asked, as she neared them.

“I don’t know,” Krindi gasped.

Ada took Cal’s face between her hands and found herself begging for his life. She didn’t know to whom or what she was asking salvation from, but she didn’t care at that moment.

Please, let him live. Let him live. Let him live… she repeated over and over. Ada hadn’t realized she had been pleading out loud until Krindi touched her arm and started saying the phrase with her.

Ada took a deep breath and as she breathed out, she envisioned that she was breathing life into Cal, filling his lungs with precious air, reigniting his life.

Then he opened his eyes.

“Ugh,” Cal moaned. “Oh, thank almighty Kala!” shouted Krindi.

Cal tried to sit up, groaned, then rolled to his side and vomited.

“Lie back,” Ada advised, “You took the fast way down.” Cal lay on his back, staring up at the canopy, breathing deep. She couldn’t believe he was alive, knowing in her heart of hearts he shouldn’t be. Still, it was foolish to think she had any part in his survival. Cal got lucky, that’s all.

Next to Cal, the egg laid smashed to pieces, the yolk splattered on the ground, reminding her that life and death on Isobe was violent.

###

By the time Ada, Krindi, and Cal made it home, Ada was exhausted. She felt tired in her bones and could hardly keep her eyes open. Krindi and Ada helped Cal back to the capital headquarters and had to explain to his mother, the Chief Matriarch, what happened in the woods. Perhaps it was their tear-stained faces, red eyes, and exhausted appearance of the girls that Melandre took some pity on, but she sent them home without punishment.

As Ada pushed open the front door to her home, she nearly collapsed. She had never felt so exhausted in her entire life. 

She looked around the respectable front room of her mother’s house, decorated with countless potted plants. Ada’s mind wandered to her mother, who thought she had the greenest thumb on the planet when it was really Ada who made sure the plants survived. Her mother had a tendency to over-water her plants for weeks, then forget about them completely, so Ada made sure they kept thriving.

“Ada?”

Ada started at the sound of another voice. She realized she had been standing in the entryway, pondering the existence of the plants for who knew how long, too tired to take another step.

Her mother moved toward her just in time to catch her as her knees buckled.

“What’s happened?” her mother asked, concerned, “Are you alright?”

“I need to lie down,” Ada mumbled, “I’m fine - I just - I’m so tired.”  
Ydira looked into her daughter’s eyes. It seemed like Ada didn’t even see her in that moment, like she was a million stars away. The dark circles under her eyes alarmed her. Ada’s skin was cool and clammy; perhaps she had caught some nasty cold.

Ydira carried her daughter to bed, dressed her in her nightclothes, and tucked her in as she did when she was little. Ydira smiled fondly at the memories of a younger Ada as she fussed around the kitchen making tea.

Ada had always been precocious, curious. Talented in so many ways. When Dalen, Ada’s father, was killed, Ada always seemed to know what was troubling Ydira. She was just a toddler at the time, but she always knew when her mother was sad, heartbroken.

Ydira could never explain it, that strange connection. 

The kettle screeched. Quickly, Ydira removed it from the fireplace and poured a steaming hot mug of yarrow tea for her daughter. 

Ydira hoped this was just a cold. She hoped it wasn’t something more sinister.

Ydira tried to press the tea to Ada’s lips once it cooled, but it only slopped over her chin. She slept on the floor of her only child’s room that night, just in case. Sometimes, she felt completely inadequate to parent Ada; especially when there was nothing she could do to ease her daughter’s pain.

Ada tossed and turned throughout the night, her breathing fast and shallow, skin cool and blanched of color, sweat beading at her brow as her eyes moved back and forth beneath her eyelids as she dreamed of something worrisome.

At last, Ada seemed to calm and Ydira laid down on the floor of her daughter’s bedroom, exhausted by her concern.

When Ydira woke in the morning, Ada was sitting in bed, hugging her knees. Ada turned to her mother with an unfathomable look in her eyes.

“All the plants are dead,” she said, tonelessly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of getting to know your trio! And First Order interactions that don't go as planned.

Several years later...

The moon hung low in the sky as Ada snuck out of her window. She landed on the ground harder than intended; she winced and waited for her mother to wake. 

Nothing. Mama was still asleep.

She hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath until she let it out in a long, slow stream.

She bucked her small pack into a more comfortable position on her shoulder and started off into the night. Krindi and Calestian were waiting for her in their thicket. 

As she traversed across the moonlit landscape, her mind wandered to the history of her people, the Sephi, and her planet, Isobe. 

The Sephi suffered from The Cataclysm when the Empire strip-mined their planet and destroyed precious resources, which led to a catastrophic collapse of the planet's ecosystems and disruption of the biosphere. The Cataclysm forced Isobe's inhabitants underground or off-planet entirely as the biosphere became less and less hospitable.

During the same span of time on a nearby planet, the Empire was pressing Arkanian scientists into service to further develop the Empire's technology. Many Akanians fled to Isobe and found refuge among their Sephi relatives. The Arkanians brought with them vast scientific knowledge to help the people of Isobe survive. 

After the first war, the Sephi secretly took in Arkanian captives and provided sanctuary for those who survived the Empire's abuse. The Akanians helped the Sephi balance the fragile ecosystem through technological advances in science - creating machines to help reinvigorate the planet's natural resources until the surface was livable again.

It was one of these machines the trio was hunting tonight. Their clan was named after a legendary mech-monster: the infamous Thunder Bear. Ada had heard so many stories of Thunder Bear, each more unbelievable than the last. 

Still, they knew the creature existed. Too many credible people had seen Thunder Bear for them to not believe some of the stories. After all, if the other mech-Beasts live, so too could Thunder Bear.

Isobe's inhabitants had learned to live with these mechanical beasts, as it was clear they were part of the planet's ecosystem, rebuilding and sustaining it. Although dangerous, the Sephi revered the technological fauna as saviors. Sephi spiritual leaders practiced deep meditation to create synchronicity with the beasts and utilize technology to tame some of them. Ada thought the Arkanian method of overriding the Beasts’ programming was more effective, however.

Krindi, Arkanian herself, had been tinkering with the override code to tame more “aggressive” Beasts. The horse-mechs could easily be overridden, but others, like the sabercats, were far more dangerous and had no interest in obliging the Sephi. 

Krindi asked Ada and Cal to support her on her mission to test her code - she had successfully overridden Snapjaws, Howlers, and Razorbacks. Now, she wanted to test it on the ultimate foe.

Ada had a fleeting thought that this whole adventure was foolish, stupid, if she were being completely honest. But she wasn’t about to let her friends go on this adventure without her.

At long last, Ada crawled into the thicket where the three of them spent so many wonderful days. The tunnels were getting harder to move through as they kept growing, the nettles snagging on her smock. 

After crawling on her hands on knees for what felt like hours, she finally saw a light glowing at the end of one of the tunnels.

“It’s about time! We’ve been waiting for ages,” Krindi cried.

“Sorry, Mama decided she wanted to have a late night,” Ada retorted, “Anyway, I’m here now. What’s the plan?”

“Vander has reports that Thunder Bear was spotted in the Filisian Caves last week. We figured our best bet is to check there first,” said Cal.

As the trio set out, they overrode three mech-mounts grazing in the fields so they wouldn’t have to walk the whole way to the caves. They had until dawn to complete their quest and time was of the essence.

Climbing aboard their metal steeds, they grinned at one another; three kids off on their secret adventure to bring a Beast to heel. 

###

“Oh, Kala,” Cal groaned, rubbing between his legs, “Riding these Beasts is murder.”

It was true, the metal beasts were unforgiving and Ada and Krindi stumbled as they struggled to work the stiffness out of their muscles and aleve the pain of saddle sores. 

“I’m never going to walk right again,” complained Cal. Ada thought he most certainly had it worse than either of the two girls.

Krindi recovered from the ride and took her scanner out of her knapsack. The radar usually identified any nearby Beasts, but the Arkanians found some of the Beasts had developed an unfortunate form of cloaking. They were evolving and that was certainly a concern, Krindi said. 

Krindi frowned when the radar failed to pick up any signal. Never deterred and smarter than her own good, she persevered. “We didn’t ride all this way for nothing, right? It can’t be far if it was spotted here last week. Thunder Bear doesn’t like changing its surroundings often.”

“If Vander can be counted on at all,” quipped Cal, “Which is debatable.”

“Let’s look for tracks,” Ada suggested, turning on her headlamp. The three of them carefully scoured the ground for large, beast-like prints. It was Krindi who lit upon something promising first.

“Hey!” she shouted, “Look here!” Ada and Cal scurried over to her and looked around.

“What are we looking at?” Cal said, a hint of confusion in his tone. Ada understood his confusion; at first glance, she didn’t see anything either. Then it dawned on her. The slight depression in the earth they were standing in was a footprint; an enormous one. She backed out of the print and gazed in awe of the sheer size of the Beast.

“Oh man,” Ada said, “Are we … sure about this?” They turned to Krindi, who took a moment to collect herself. 

“First sign of trouble, we bolt. Chances are, it’s sleeping. We sneak up on it, I’ll hack it, and then we’re gone.” Ada and Cal looked at each other then turned back to Krindi, doubt etched into their expressions.

“Krindi,” Cal said delicately, “this thing … it’s massive. If it wakes up, we’re done for.”

“I know,” she said, “But it trampled a village outpost last week. Utterly destroyed it. It’s getting more aggressive, attacking people unprovoked. And it’s not the only Beast that’s turning malicious.”

Ada heard of the ruin the Thunder Bear brought on the Crisugal Outpost. Apparently, people got a little too close to its territory and it didn’t take kindly to being intruded on. So Thunder Bear laid waste to the outpost, killing at least three quarters of its population.

Thunder Bear wasn’t the only Beast becoming more aggressive toward people. Others were increasingly harder to tame or were more easily provoked. It seemed like the Sephi couldn’t go a galactic week without someone being killed by one of the Beasts. 

The Akanians were at a loss as to why the Beasts’ behavior was changing so drastically. When people first re-emerged from the underground and began repopulating the surface, the Beasts kept their distance and minded themselves, mostly. 

More recently, they started seeking out people, seemingly to hurt them.

“We have to figure out why they’re killing people, Cal,” Krindi said quietly, “This is as much of a diagnostic mission as anything else. None of the other Beasts has revealed any alteration to their code. It could be that Thunder Bear, and Alphas like it, will reveal something else. We have to try.”

“Haven’t other Arkanians tried this? Why is it down to us?” Cal asked.

“Because I have a secret weapon,” Krindi said, “I’ve been working on some modified tech that might give us better insight into their base code.”

“You actually think they’re evolving, don’t you?” Ada said, incredulous, “Not that I don’t believe it’s happening, I just … I’m amazed.”

“Yeah, me too. But if I’m right, and I hope I’m not, but if I am … it’s more serious than any of us thought,” said Krindi.

She’s always the smartest person in the room, Cal the bravest and most loyal. I wonder who I am, Ada thought. It was an intrusive thought, like it came from somewhere outside herself. She was amazed at Krindi’s intelligence, her aptitude for analyzing and deconstructing complexities. Honestly, Ada didn’t think there was anyone else who could actually solve the mystery of the Beasts’ aggressive tendencies.

“If you think you can figure it out, I’m in,” Ada said.

“Same here,” affirmed Cal, giving them a lopsided smile.

Krindi took a deep breath as she led her friends toward the mouth of the cave, the mouth of the Beast.

###

As they neared the mouth of the cave, they turned off their lights. Krindi whispered, “Let me try to use the radar again.”

This time, there was a massive blip on the screen. Ada felt a pit form in her stomach, filled with ill feelings. 

“Okay now,” Krindi said, in a reassuring voice, “Scans show that it’s in sleep mode. This is the best case scenario for us. Here’s the plan: Ada, ready the stun-grenades and be prepared to disarm it if it wakes up. Cal, just … don’t get in the way.”

“Wow. Thanks,” Cal rolled his eyes, “I’ll go set up some traps, just to be on the safe side,” he posited in a snide retort.

Ada snorted as quietly as she could, “Yeah, Cal, I think that’s a smart move.”

Cal narrowed his eyes at her, as if asking her whose side are you on, anyway?

“Your side, friend,” Ada replied. “I … didn’t say anything,” Cal responded, slightly taken aback. Ada laughed, “You didn’t need to.”

Each of them set off on their respective tasks, moving as silently as they could around the hulking shadow of the Bear; setting stun traps and readying the explosives, which Ada sincerely hoped they wouldn’t need, as Krindi assembled her override tool.

“Ready?” Krindi asked, at long last. Ada felt sweat pooling in her hairline and at the back of her neck as she fought nerves. She looked back at the immobile profile of the legendary Thunder Bear and suddenly questioned what they thought they were doing here.

As if reading her mind, Krindi said, “Remember, any data we get from this little adventure could save countless lives. Plus, it’s not like we haven’t done anything dangerous before, Kala knows…”

“True,” quipped Cal, “We all remember the Saber-Cat, the Mastodon, the Giant Centipede --”

“We don’t need to rehash the Giant Centipede,” Krindi whispered fiercely, “It’s the Alphas we have to better understand now. They’re the Progenitors - they impact the code of the other mechs.”

Krindi took a deep breath through her nose and slowly exhaled through her mouth. 

“We can do this,” she said, “We can succeed where others haven’t. I know it.”

Ada believed her, and so did Cal. “Let’s get this over with,” he said.

Together, as one, they turned toward Thunder Bear. Krindi crept forward with her override spear poised at the ready. It was so dark in the cave, Ada wondered how she could see at all. As if on cue, Krindi flipped the switch on her headlamp so a dim orange light gave them some indication as to where they were headed.

It was enough to see the enormous metal monstrosity that laid on its side, snoozing away. It was a mech, but its sides heaved with deep, restful breaths. Fascinating, Ada thought, I wonder why they breathe? She’d have to pose this question to Krindi later.

Slowly, Krindi tiptoed toward the Bear searching for its access port underneath its neck. As Krindi closed the distance between herself and the massive jaws of the Bear, Cal grabbed Ada’s arm and whispered “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Don’t think about the odds,” Ada replied.

Krindi crept ever closer. Her breath became shallower and slower as she approached the herculean jaws. Ada and Cal stood a good distance behind her, ‘nades at the ready in case they needed to take the Beast down.

Krindi, palms sweaty against her override staff, spotted the access port. She slowly placed the spear into the port and, with a jarring twist, began the data transfer. She consulted her data pad as the transfer was initiated. 

Ada knew she was looking for a specific string of base code in this Beast; something that would give them some insight into the code that lesser Beasts were being modified with. If they could override its existing code with something that would make the Beasts more affable, that would be even better.

Ada held her breath and hoped Thunder Bear would remain, well, not thunderous. 

Krindi flipped through the pages of her holopad, watching the code flicker across the screen. Her eyes scanned the information with a newfound fervor, seeking out the answers she so desperately needed to find. 

Suddenly, Krindi’s eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Simultaneously, the cave became discernibly brighter as the gargantuan Beast Krindi was standing next to opened its eyes, blue light illuminating the chamber.

For several beats, the three of them stood absolutely still, taking in the terror of what was happening. 

Thunder Bear shot a huff of breath out of its nose as an echoing rumble erupted from its throat. It shifted its position, which shook Krindi out of her horror-struck panic and she ripped the spear out of the Bear’s neck. The Bear, having felt some manufactured semblance of pain in his neck, roared with confused anger, the blue light from its eyes immediately turning red after detecting the threat. It was so huge, it seemed like it moved up onto its front feet in slow motion. 

The cavern thundered around them as the Bear rose on all fours and turned its ferocious head toward its source of annoyance. For a moment, the three adventurers stared down the massive Beast, and it stared back. Then, it bared its glinting teeth and released a deafening roar that shook large chunks of earth down from the cavern ceiling. 

In a blink of an eye, the Thunder Bear was upon them, dropping its head down to swallow them whole. Ada chucked a stun grenade at the Bear before turning heel and running for her life. Cal did the same, though the grenades didn’t seem to have much of an effect on it; they hit the Bear and sent spindly fingers of electricity down its hide and, while such explosives would have rendered an average mech immobile, the stun grenades were no match for this looming opponent.

Ada looked over her shoulder for Krindi, whose legs were pumping in an effort to outrun the megalith raging behind her. 

A gigantic paw landed directly behind Krindi, the ground beneath her buckled, she fell to the floor, and rolled several times until finally landing hard on her side. Ada skidded to a halt and sprinted back for her.

“Get up, Krindi! Run, RUN!” she screamed. Ada yanked Krindi from the ground as the Bear bashed its head against the cave, raining earth upon them. As they neared the mouth of the cave, a large boulder crashed down between them and Thunder Bear, allowing them a temporary reprieve. 

They burst through the mouth of the cave as the Bear punched the boulder into gravel with one swipe of a massive paw. Cal was ahead of the girls, running full-tilt toward their mounts, who were looking less and less comfortable waiting for their riders.

Cal reached their rides first and, upon mounting one, set off in the direction of Ada and Krindi, who were still trying to outrun the Thunder Bear. 

Krindi was always a faster runner than Ada and, despite being knocked down by the Bear, managed to outpace Ada. She reached Cal first, who pulled her onto his mount.

Cal and Krindi looked back for Ada, running with as much effort as she could possibly muster, with Thunder Bear on her heels. As if sensing its targets were escaping, Thunder Bear reared up on its mighty hind legs and sprang forward, swiping at Ada as she fled.

“Ada!” Cal cried, “Ada, duck!” Too late, Ada realized what was happening. The Bear’s paw connected with her and swatted her out of the way as if she were a fly. 

“Ada!” Krindi and Cal screamed in unison. Ada was flung out of sight and Cal and Krindi fled away from Thunder Bear as quickly as they could.

“I’ll never forgive myself if she’s dead, Cal!” Krindi cried into Cal’s shoulder, “We have to find her! We have to go back!”

The Bear’s incensed roars seemed to fade as the riders galloped into a nearby ravine. Cal, breathing so hard he could barely speak asked, “Do you think we lost it?”

“I don’t know,” Krindi panted between sobs. Cal thought she might be close to hyperventilating. 

“Listen,” he said, “Shh, listen to me. We’re going to go back for her. But we won’t be able to help her if we’re mauled by that monstrosity. We wait until your radar says we’re clear and we’ll go back for her. She’s going to be okay, Krindi, I know it.”

“How on Isobe do you think she’ll be okay?” Krindi asked, boarding on hysterics, “This is all my fault, Cal. She’s dead and it’s my fault.” 

###

Krindi kept constant watch on her radar as the Bear searched for any sign of their presence. Occasionally, its light would pan over their hiding spot, and they would duck farther down among the rocks, hoping they would stay undetected.

At long last, the Bear seemed to lose interest in pursuing them further and disappeared off Krindi’s radar.

“I think we’re safe now,” Krindi sighed in relief, “We need to get to her, fast.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Cal said, without a moment’s hesitation. Krindi could tell he was worried for Ada, too.

One of their mounts had run off during the Thunder Bear pursuit, and Cal couldn’t blame it in the slightest. They took their remaining two mounts and went in search of Ada.

They followed their path back toward the location of Ada’s attack and split up to search for her. They didn’t dare call out for her and their search was slow-going. The sun was beginning to peek up from below the horizon and they knew they had to reach Ada soon.

As Cal rode his mount, he couldn’t help but feel pulled toward a lone tree, standing upon a mesa. There’s no way she’s there, he thought to himself, it’s much too far away from where we last saw her. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had to look there.

As he approached the tree, he noticed it was dead -- nothing more than shrivelled branches and exposed roots. And at its roots, Ada, lying on her side with her knees curled into her chest.

“Ada! Ada, praise Kala, are you okay?” Cal dropped to his knees next to her and gently shook her shoulder.

“Cal,” Ada whispered weakly, “Cal, I’m … take me home, please,” she gasped.

“I will. I will, but you have to get up so we can ride back together.”

Ada looked up at him, pain lingering in her eyes as she fully recognized her savior. 

“Alright,” she whimpered. Cal helped her to her feet as she moaned in pain. 

“You’ll be okay,” he said, “I promise, you’ll be okay.”

Ada didn’t remember the ride back home. The last bit she did recall was being crushed by a giant metallic paw and Cal finding her some time later. She knew to remain conscious until her rescue, and then her vision faded to black. She roused herself occasionally, catching snippets of Krindi and Cal’s conversation here and there:

“Did you find anything useful?”

“I think so,” Krindi whispered in reply, “I wasn’t able to upload the override, but I did find some of the Progenitor code. I have to wait until I have access to a console to be able to take a deeper look and further understand the behavior change, although I have my suspicions. It’s a start, anyway.”

Cal made a noncommittal noise and asked, “The smaller mechs we can handle, but those hulking monstrosities will tear us apart. It’s a wonder Ada lived through that. How are we supposed to defend ourselves from the Alphas?”

“We can’t,” Krindi replied.

###

When they arrived back home, the sun was well over the horizon. They expected to be met with an angry group of concerned parents, but what they found, unfortunately, was much worse.

“A First Order transporter,” Cal hissed incredulously, “What the hell are they doing here?”

“There have been whispers of an uprising of First Order sympathizers at Court recently,” Ada whispered, having regained some of her senses on the trip home. She was recently elected to serve as a Junior Representative from the Thunder Bear clan at the Council of Elders. “I didn’t think those rumors were that serious, but maybe that’s why the Elders have enlisted the help of the Arkanians in solving our mech problems. They’re preparing for an invasion.”

“Too little, too late by the looks of it,” Cal said bitterly. 

Although the First Order only had one run-down looking transporter, they had a full battalion of Stormtroopers and several officers keeping the Thunder Bear people in line. 

Ada, Cal, and Krindi snuck behind some large pottery and listened in:

“We are officials from the First Order. We seek volunteers to peacefully join our ranks as infantry,” the officer quipped, “Young males are preferred, young females, less so.”

“Gross,” Krindi scoffed. It appeared her sentiment was felt by all the Sephi held hostage - their scowls deepened upon hearing the officer’s threatening request, and several parents moved to shield their children from the scrutinizing eyes of the First Order. 

The officer sneered, “If no volunteers wish to come forward, we will use other, less gentle means of procuring recruits.”

He paused, waiting for his statement to sink in. Many of the Elders in the clan had experience with the Empire’s version of “aggressive negotiations”. Based on their shifting eyes and defensive postures, Ada understood they had no intention of peacefully sacrificing their children and grandchildren to the First Order.

The officer’s cold stare hardened and he took a deep breath through his long, pointed nose, “So be it.”

Moving as one cohesive unit, the Stormtroopers advanced on the crowd of hostages and began blasting away at the civilians. It was unclear to Ada whether or not their blasters were set to stun.

“We have to move!” said Cal, “They’ll find us if we stay here.”

“The forest,” Ada said, looking toward the inviting cover of the trees.

“Can you make it?” Cal asked.

“I’ll have to.”

The three crawled away from their cover as the Stormtroopers’ blasters fired in the background, their people screaming in panic and terror, some attacking the Stormtroopers with any weapons they could find.

As soon as they were out of line of sight of the First Order, the three stood and began making their way to the cover of the woods. Krindi led the way, Cal supported Ada as she limped as quickly as she could.

Just as they ducked behind a large brambleberry bush, Stormtroopers swarmed the area they had previously occupied.

“Search for stragglers,” an officer instructed the group of Stormtroopers, “I want every single one of these barbarians rounded up.” The Stormtroopers responded with their yes sir’s and moved toward the woods.

“Shit,” Krindi cursed. Cal and Ada looked up at her in shock - Krindi absolutely never cursed.

“Oh, get over it,” she muttered as she pulled them up and started hiking up the hill, pausing occasionally behind a bush to ensure they weren’t seen.

The ‘troopers continued to move farther up the hill. Ada could hardly stand on her own, the pain of her injuries causing her vision to blur on occasion. She realized she was putting her friends in danger. Krindi was looking at her, analyzing the stream of emotions running across her face.

“You can make it to the thicket,” Krindi said reassuringly, “You can make it.” There wasn’t a moment to lose; the Stormtroopers were quickly gaining ground, and they had to make a run for it.

Crouching, Cal grabbed Ada under her arm and hoisted her into a standing position. “We’ll run together, just like we used to in those three-legged races at Festival,” he said, giving her his brightest smile. She couldn’t help but feel bolstered by his innocent positivity. Ada nodded, and the three of them set off, rustling through the dense foliage.

“What was that?” A Stormtrooper had turned in their direction upon hearing them make a desperate escape.

 _They flushed us out_ , Ada thought miserably, remembering her friends’ game of hide-and-seek so long ago. 

“Come on, Ada, you can make it. We’re almost to the thicket! We can lose them in there!” Krindi begged. Ada looked up and saw the thicket just ahead of them, beckoning them with promises of sanctuary from their stalkers. 

Ada let go of Cal and limped hastily, looking back over her shoulder to assess how much time they had. 

Not much, she thought desperately. Just then, her knee, which had been contorted by Thunder Bear, gave out and she tumbled to the ground. 

“Ada!” Cal ran back to her and tried to drag her up off the ground, Ada howling in pain as he did so. She was almost certain she had several broken ribs. “Ada, we’re so close,” he pleaded.

“Cal,” Ada said calmly, “You have to go. You have to get Krindi to the thicket and keep her safe. If they find you, they’ll take you.”

“I am not leaving you here,” Cal said firmly. 

“Don’t worry, I have a plan,” Ada whispered. A determined calmness had entered her mind as Cal observed her, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth and chewing it nervously. She could feel his internal battle. Ada put a hand on his face and whispered, “Go.”

He pressed his lips together in an attempt to stymie the tears brimming in his eye. Cal looked over Ada’s head, sniffled, then pulled her into a gentle embrace. “Be safe, Ada.” Then he turned and left to meet Krindi, who was waiting near the entrance of the thicket.

Ada took a steadying breath as the first stormtrooper burst into sight. “There!” he yelled, his voice modulator carrying his call to the surrounding ‘troopers. They converged on Ada, who was lying in wait.

“Where are your friends? We know they’re here somewhere,” one of the ‘troopers demanded.

“Who are you talking about?” Ada asked, buying herself a little more time. She had never used her powers to this extent, and she needed to concentrate all her remaining energy on taking out as many of them as possible.

“Don’t play dumb. Our reports indicate three missing children from the village: Ada Zahn, Calestian Gaala, and Krindi Iro. You’re one of those three, so where are the other two?” 

“Don’t know,” Ada shrugged. They hadn’t noticed her left hand rising ever so slightly from the ground. She breathed deeply as a loud crack sounded next to the Stormtroopers.

“What was that?” one of them asked, turning in the direction of the noise. Ada, knowing this was the moment, concentrated with all her might on bringing the gigantic Cendi tree down on the ‘troopers. She reached up with her hand, balled it into a fist, and ripped it back down toward the ground.

First a _cr-cr-craaack_ , followed by several more alarming popping sounds, and finally, a deafening roaring as the tree’s roots released from the earth.

The Stormtroopers screamed as they tried to scramble out of the way of the falling tree, but it was so massive that most of them were crushed. 

Ada gasped as the last of her energy was expended. She lay on her back, starting up at the canopy of trees. Hearing footsteps, she looked over her shoulder and saw another group of Stormtroopers descending on the thicket. She groaned and hoped Cal and Krindi made it out the other side, because there was no hope for them now, if they hadn’t.

The ‘troopers surveyed the damage and one of them stomped over and ripped Ada up by her hair. He screamed in her face, “Where are they?”

“I don’t know,” she said, tears stinging her eyes as her hair was yanked from her scalp.  
The Stormtrooper slapped her, hard enough to draw blood from her lip. She could feel the side of her face pulsating as blood pooled under her stinging flesh. 

“One last chance; where are your accomplices?” the ‘trooper asked in a deadly tone.

“Go fuck yourself,” Ada purred, equally as deadly, as she spat blood at the ‘trooper’s mask. 

Swiftly, the Stormtrooper removed his blaster from his belt and aimed it squarely between Ada’s eyes. She stared up at his visor, dully regretting that his ugly, frog-like mask would be the last thing she’d see. 

Suddenly, the thicket erupted in chaos as ‘troopers were electrocuted left and right. The Stormtrooper holding Ada hostage paused in a moment of utter bafflement, and Ada aimed a fierce kick at the side of his knee, forcing it inward with such violence she heard a pop as the joint was displaced.

He howled in agony as she disarmed him and pointed the blaster at his face as he lay squirming on the ground. She fingered the trigger, squeezing it as though daring him to make a wrong move so she could have a reason to pull it. 

“Ada, move!” called Krindi as she lobbed one of their spare stun grenades at a group of ‘troopers and Ada watched as electricity arced between their bodies, rendering them immobile, possibly killing them. Those ‘nades were designed to take down machines, not people. 

Why didn’t they run? Ada thought miserably as her legs trembled beneath her and her breaths came in short gasps. She was running out of time.

The chaos in the thicket only served to bring more ‘troopers and officers to the area, some of whom were looking considerably worse for wear after the brawl in the main village. One officer had a bloody nose that dripped down the front of his uniform and another was sporting a pair of blooming black eyes.

“Your compatriots hab been incabacitated,” the officer with the bloody nose stated, with as much dignity as he could muster. Ada wondered idly if his nose was actually broken. “Bring him here,” the officer commanded.

Two Stormtroopers seized Cal by the arms and dragged him forcefully to the officer. Cal bucked and twisted against his two foes, but there was no conceivable way to overpower them. They forced Cal to the ground on his knees as the officer loomed over him.

“You will learn the futility of resistance, in time, Stormtrooper,” the officer sneered the last word, blood lining the space between his teeth, and turned his back on Cal. 

“I’ll never be one of you!” Cal shouted back. The officer stopped in his tracks, and looked over his shoulder at his captive. He nodded and one of the ‘troopers cracked Cal on the back of his head with a blaster rifle. Cal collapsed forward onto the ground and the two ‘troopers dragged him off by his arms through the woods.

“No!” Krindi and Ada screamed fighting against their restraints. “No, Cal! Cal!” Ada screamed until she felt like her throat would tear open from the force of her words.

The First Order led Krindi and Ada back to the main village, to their captured families, where they were restrained as the Stormtroopers reclaimed their incapacitated allies. As the last unconscious ‘trooper was hauled back onto the shuttle, the officer with the two black eyes turned and addressed the Thunder Bear clan.

“Thank you for volunteering your sons to our cause. Your collaboration in this matter will be remembered.”

Ada watched the shuttle depart. “Cal,” she whispered between sobs, “Cal, I’m so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I've been playing a ton of video games lately, so credit for my inspiration goes to Horizon Zero Dawn, Titanfall 2, and Bioshock - highly recommend all of them if you haven't played them yet.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krindi and Ada work in their own ways against another First Order onslaught; their friendship is tested after the abduction of Cal. :( 
> 
> The Sephi are mistrustful of Ada's growing powers and she finds it harder and harder to keep quiet and fit in. She struggles with the choice of staying behind and fighting for her planet or pursuing something greater.

After the First Order abducted the Thunder Bear sons, the Council of Elders lept to decisive action to better prepare for another Imperial invasion. 

Ada doubted the Imperials would make another return trip to Isobe any time soon; they had gotten what they came for. The attack on Thunder Bear village was one of the first, but word soon got out that the First Order was forcefully recruiting young males across the planet. By the time the Imperials had found the last village, families had hidden their children, but with little success. The First Order would not be easily fooled into believing that every parent in a village had no children. They tortured the parents, grandparents, and family friends until someone revealed the children’s whereabouts.

The Council deemed reprogramming the mechs to be of utmost importance. First, the people of Isobe couldn’t defend themselves against both the mechs and the First Order; they simply didn’t have the technology or man power. Secondly, if the Akanians could reprogram the mechs, they could be a powerful line of defense against their foes. 

After the First Order stole Cal away, Krindi threw herself into her project to decipher the code she gained from Thunder Bear. She led the Arkanians in their work, discovering the source of the mechs’ aggression.

During The Cataclysm many of Isobe’s inhabitants died as the planet’s resources diminished in a matter of months when the Empire took hold. The remainder fled to underground bunkers, clinging to the hope of returning to life on the surface. 

Little did the inhabitants of Isobe know that the Empire built a failsafe, deep in the uninhabited region of Isobe, that would keep their vision alive for millennia. 

“The Arkanians programmed the mechs to supervise the health of the planet, and eliminate threats to Her health,” Krindi explained in a presentation to the Council.

“What wasn’t clear to the Arkanians, at the time we developed these mechs, was that the Empire built a network of mining facilities throughout the planet, which are still operational to this day,” Krindi said as her audience began to whisper to one another, fearfully.

“The mechs,” she continued as the audience quieted, “sense this imbalance that’s poisoning the planet, but cannot identify the source, since we didn’t know the mining facilities existed. We programmed the mechs to recognize external threats to the planet, not internal,” she paused. “So, the Progenitor code began altering itself in order to complete their purpose: find the threat. The highest threat, of course, was the people who inhabited the planet, who use the most resources.”

She continued, “That is why the mechs turned aggressive, they were eliminating the perceived threat: us.” The audience was rapt, waiting for more information. “These mines, these facilities, have been processing raw material since the Empire first arrived on Isobe during the last war, and they have been in operation since they left.”

“How did the Akanians discover these facilities?” Rusk, a fellow Representative, asked.

“An exploratory mission,” answered Krindi. “I, along with two of my friends --” she paused a moment to gather herself. Ada knew how it hurt to think of Cal. Ada’s and Krindi’s friendship had never fully healed after Cal’s abduction; there was blame on both sides but they couldn’t find a way to mourn their loss together.

Krindi cleared her throat and continued, “I, along with two of my friends, sought out the Alpha, Thunder Bear, in the caves, hoping that its Progenitor code would reveal some understanding of the mech’s aggression. The code revealed a significant threat to the planet’s health, a threat that had been building slowly for years. 

“What didn’t make sense to me at the time was why the mechs believed it was the inhabitants of Isobe who were the problem. After all, our populations are relatively small considering the population that this planet is capable of supporting. It seemed the code was writing and then, subsequently, overwriting itself when it came to this same conclusion. Essentially, the mechs were stuck in a logic loop. With no other alternative, they sought the next most obvious threat.”

Krindi waived her hands, “But I digress. After analyzing the data from my radar images of the caves, I noticed an anomaly. There were tunnels through the caves that looked to be human-made. I had no knowledge of the Arkanians or the Sephi building tunnels through the mountains, so I presented the information to my superiors. An exploration of these tunnels revealed a fully-functioning mining operation.”

Krindi paused to show them one of her radar scans of the cave, including a massive network of tunnels leading off in all directions from a central point: the refinery.

“The Empire was refining precious metals, including Sorian crystals, needed to build their fleet and experiment with the power of their weapons. The process, however, was long and slow, so much of it needed to be automated. According to our calculations, there at least five more of these refineries in existence on Isobe, in order to provide the Empire with the amount of refined metals needed.”

“The runoff is poisoning Isobe,” Ada said. Krindi turned to look at her as did Rusk; his expression indiscernible. Several of her peers gave her side-eye and others moved incrementally away from Ada; she knew that word of her dropping a tree on a gaggle of Stormtroopers using only her mind had got around, and people were understandably wary of such powers. Still, it nagged at her. 

“Precisely,” Krindi replied, “The runoff of refining such metals poses a massive threat to the planet, which the mechs detected long ago. Now, however, the danger the runoff poses is approaching critical levels. We have to stop the operation of these refineries as soon as possible.”

“So why can’t we just shut them off? Or blow them up?” a young Sephi asked.

“We believe, according to our research, that the refineries must be shut down simultaneously or they could self-destruct. It’s a failsafe measure the Empire engineered to make sure their product would never be discontinued,” Krindi scowled as she pondered the Empire’s cleverness.

“And the other five refineries? Do we know where they are?” Ada asked.

“We have our suspicions, but nothing concrete yet,” Krindi replied.

“Then we must act quickly,” an Elder instructed, rising as she spoke, “We need to form groups to scout out these locations so we can shut these refineries down and destroy them. The First Order will not be permitted to profit off the death of Isobe any longer!” she shouted, and the crowd around her erupted into cheers. 

The Sephi had a long history of fighting for a just democracy and against the totalitarian dictatorship the Empire forced upon them. Ada knew of the first wars - the Separatists, the Clone Wars, the rise of the Empire and the ragtag group of Rebels who fought their facist regime at every turn, with the help of the galaxy’s “peacekeepers”, the Jedi.

For centuries, they had been on friendly terms with the the Jedi. Growing up in the Expansion Region, Ada heard tales of these powerful Force-users, and not all of them were heroic in nature. 

An older Arkanian scientist stepped up and put a long, pale hand on Krindi’s shoulder. Ada noticed he had four fingers instead of the usual five. An original Arkanian, Ada thought, one who hadn’t been genetically modified. 

“Thank you, Krindi,” his voice rumbled, soothing and deep, and he faced the audience, “for presenting these facts. We have been working diligently in the bunkers to refine our tools and technology to better identify these subterranean mines. We also have several theories on the best places to begin our search for the other five refineries. Elders, I suggest you begin recruiting capable scouts for these missions as soon as possible.”

###

Every day since Cal was taken, Ada had practiced using her “powers”, as she called them. She hadn’t been able to call these powers what they really were - the Force. Although she knew, deep down, that it was the Force that was guiding her, part of it frightened her in that she wasn’t sure how much control she truly had over it. 

One night, she and her mother argued over the Sephi people’s role in aligning themselves with the values of the newly-formed Resistance. As the strength of the First Order surged, so too did those who opposed the Imperial might. Led by General Leia Organa, Ada thought the Alliance was the most likely chance of disrupting another Imperial reign. 

Her mother, as though sensing Ada’s conflicted intention to leave and join the Resistance, disagreed vehemently. 

“They’re nothing more than terrorists!” Ydira yelled at her incredulous daughter.

“You expect Isobe to be able to defend itself on its own? We couldn’t even save our sons from one transport!” Ada spat the words out in disgust. Truthfully, she had been inconsolable after the loss of her friend, and turned her anger outward. Her people had barely put up a fight to save their own children, she thought bitterly. What chance could we possibly have against an entire fleet? 

“Aligning yourself with people who are just as willing as the First Order to kill anyone in their way is not heroic, Ada,” her mother said, softly.

“Sometimes, you don’t have the choice not to kill the enemies who are trying to kill you,” Ada retorted. “How can you sit here and tell me you don’t want to make them pay for taking Cal, for enslaving our people?” she demanded.

Ada felt it coming, the explosion of rage that had been building and building. Her mother, noncommittal, admitting she’d rather cut her losses than anger the First Order any further --

“HOW?” she screamed, and with a wave of her hand sent the heavy dining table flying through the wall, eyes gleaming with a ferocity she didn’t know she possessed.

Ada, returning to the present, sighed in frustration as she tried to clear her mind and meditate. She found it easiest to control her thoughts after she exhausted herself on her training course, but today wasn’t a good day for calming meditation. Her mind was distracted by the new information presented at the Council meeting.

Six toxic refineries that have to be disarmed at the same time, re-programming hostile mechs, defending the planet against Empirical invaders... she pondered, wondering how on Isobe they were going to be successful. She picked up a rock and held it in the palm of her hand. 

It gently hovered a few inches above her palm; she found it easy to make things float now, and her powers of accelerating life, making things grow, were getting stronger. She was getting stronger, but she didn’t believe that was necessarily a good thing. However, she feared that if she ignored this power inside her, it would become uncontrollable.

After watching the sun dip below the horizon, Ada climbed down from the mountaintop and made her way back to Thunder Bear village, nestled securely in the pristine valley below. 

Ada was lost in thought about scavenging for mech parts in order to make better armor for her upcoming scout missions and hoping that she would be paired with Rusk when the time came. Thoughts of the late nights spent with him in secret flooded her mind, making her skin flush. She was smiling when she looked up and saw her mother standing in the doorway of their home.

“Hi Ada,” Ydira gave her daughter a timid smile, arms crossed over her chest to shield herself from the evening chill. “You have a visitor,” she said evenly.

“What are you talking about?” Ada asked, brow furrowed. She didn’t particularly care for unexpected visitors on good days, and she certainly didn’t appreciate someone dropping in now.

Her mother merely smiled and held the door open for her.

There was a middle-aged, scruffy looking man in a brown robe sitting at the damaged dining table, tracing its scars with the mechanical fingers of his right hand. Ada didn’t know what to do, so she just stared at him until he spoke.

“Hello, Ada,” his voice sounded rough, like he hadn’t spoken in quite some time.

“Um, hello,” she said. He looked at her with his bright blue eyes and smiled.

“I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to train you in the ways of the Force.”

“Excuse me, what?” Ada asked.

“The Force. I’m here to train you, if you’re interested,” he repeated, patiently. “Your mother tells me you’ve become quite powerful in the Force, that you’ve begun your own training.”

 _So that’s what this is_ , Ada eyed her mother suspiciously. _She fears me and now she’s packing me off to be someone else’s problem._

“That’s not why I’m here, Ada,” Skywalker said simply, leaning back against his chair, as if reading her thoughts. “The Force has presented you with incredible gifts, but with those gifts come hard choices. I’ve had to make some of those hard choices myself. Let the Force guide you, let me teach you.”

“How did you find me?” Ada asked, stalling for time to wrap her mind around what was happening more than anything else. She had heard of Luke Skywalker, General Organa’s twin brother and son. Ada suppressed a shiver as Luke answered.

“The Force has a way of bringing us together. And your mother contacted the Resistance and informed us of your plans to join.”

Ada whipped around and stared at her mother. “You contacted the Resistance?” She asked, incredulously.

“After our fight,” her mother began softly, “I began to think about the things you said. You’ve always been a warrior, Ada, never backing down if it meant doing the right thing, even if it frightened you. You’ve become stronger than I could have ever imagined, and…” her mother paused, looking around the room in search of her next words, choosing them carefully, “I think you’ve outgrown Isobe. The instruction you need, the action you seek is out there, not here.”

“But -” Ada sputtered, “What about the refineries, saving our home, protecting our people from the First Order?” she cried, “Mama, if this is about the table, I told you I’m sorry-” she choked down a sob, “I’ve been working every single day to be more in control…” Ada trailed off as tears began streaking down her face.

“The Alliance has also agreed to lend support to the Council of Elders in order to shut down all the refineries and protect Isobe,” Luke said, sensing her conflict, her pain.

Ada turned back to her mother, pausing a moment to gather her thoughts. “I thought you said the Resistance was nothing more than terrorists. Now you’ve encouraged the Council to align themselves with them?”

“I connected the Council to my contact with the Alliance. They made the choice to pursue a … partnership,” Ydira stated flatly.

“Ada, if it’s still your desire to join the Alliance,” Luke began, “then we think you could be one of our greatest assets, after you have been properly trained … as a Jedi.”

Ada couldn’t fathom the words that had come out of his mouth. _A Jedi?_ The stories she heard gave her pause. Plenty of tales floated through her head of Jedi turning to the dark side, of fighting the Sith… Anakin Skywalker slaughtering younglings in the name of Emperor Palpatine...

There were a thousand thoughts buzzing through her mind and the only thing Ada could think to say was, “What?”

Luke chuckled. “A Jedi. An ancient religion that guides the way to become one with the Force. The purpose of the Jedi is to keep the universe in balance, ensuring peace. I’m sure you’ve discovered ways to connect with the Force on your own, but I can help you refine your abilities and channel them into mastery, with practice.”

“What… what do I have to do?” Ada asked.

“We will journey to a remote location where you will train with other Force users as Padawans and Apprentices. With time, you will become Knights and eventually Masters. It is there that you will strengthen your connection with the Force, forego worldly attachments, and become a Jedi,” Skywalker paused in case Ada had any questions. She remained slightly shell-shocked and waited for him to present more information.

“This training will challenge you, push you beyond the brink of your abilities, but you will be better - stronger - for it,” he said, “The Force is calling to you, Ada. Will you answer?”

Ada looked at her mother who smiled reassuringly. The love Ydira felt for her daughter was beyond anything she could possibly imagine; every hope she ever had was contained in this one bright, shining soul. She moved closer to her daughter and pulled her into her warm embrace.

“Ada, ever since you were little, I knew you were destined for something greater. Your soul shined so bright, its light couldn’t help but shine like the stars; it was something I could never fully understand, myself.” 

Ydira released her daughter and held up a necklace; a crystal shard, dangling on a delicate silver chain. Ada thought it looked like the crystal contained some kind of vapor, as the contents of the crystal shifted like smoke. 

Ydira placed it around Ada’s neck, holding the stone gently between her fingers. “Your father wanted you to have this,” her voice wavering. “He always said you would know its importance when the time was right,” she said as she wiped her eyes. “Your journey leads away from Isobe for now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t wind its way back home. Isobe, the Sephi, will be here waiting for you, and so will I. Always.”

At that moment, Ada understood that her mother only wanted what every mother wants for their child: the potential to be happy, to find purpose. Her mother had always known her fate was among the stars, and that one day, maybe fate would bring her home. _I love you, Mama_ , Ada hoped her mother could feel the depths of her love, even when she didn’t have the words to express how she felt.

Eyes brimming with unshed tears, she gripped the small stone and found it provided her great comfort. Ada turned to Luke, “Yes, I will be a Jedi.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Ada's connection to one another gets a little steamier as they find a spy in the Resistance ranks.

_A year later..._

Ada wiped sweat from her brow with the back of her hand before it could drip into her eye. She absolutely hated, with all of her being, interspace travel.

Even looking at a ship made her feel queasy; actually piloting a ship tested her resolve to keep from barfing on the dash. Today, she was assigned to one of the defense turrets on their transport and she hoped that she wouldn’t have to open her eyes in order to defend their lives. 

“Apprentice Zahn,” Master Skywalker barked. “Yes, sir?” Ada responded quickly, trying to mask her misery from the one person she wanted to impress.

“Zahn, you’re looking… unwell. Do you need to be relieved?” Ada pressed her lips together and resisted her reflex to vomit. “Yes, sir, I could use a break,” she replied with false bravado. Skywalker nodded and she rushed to the minimal refresher and proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. 

“Argh, Kala!” she snarled and wiped the back of her hand across her clammy forehead. She rested her head against the palm of her hand for a moment, fingering the crystal shard that hung around her neck, trying to gather strength to be a fully-functioning teammate. 

At long last, Ada stood and braced herself on the sink, looking at her reflection in the mirror. “For fuck’s sake,” she whispered, “pull yourself together, yeah?” She tucked her necklace back into her robes.

She splashed water on her face and rinsed her mouth of bitter bile. Wiping her face on a corner of her robes as she exited the refresher, she nearly collided with a hulking figure.

“Solo, you make a better wall than a door,” she quipped. 

“So they say,” the figure answered. Ada finished drying her face and looked up at her fellow Jedi apprentice. He was scrutinizing her closely, probably to discover her weakness and exploit it later. Ben Solo was good at that.

“Leave it, Solo. I’m not in the… mood.” There were a string of expletives Ada wanted to include in that sentence, but Skywalker had keen ears and didn’t approve of excessive vulgarities. 

“Every single time we board a ship you puke your guts out,” he said. Ada couldn’t tell if it was a criticism or merely a statement. Whatever the sentiment, she didn’t want to hear a word from Ben Solo. 

Crossing her arms and sucking her teeth, Ada cocked a hip, staring him down for a moment before turning on her heel and walking away with what little was left of her dignity. There was something about him that put her on edge; that made her feel insecure. It was like he could take one look at her and know where all the cracks were.

Ada returned to her post, relieving Master Skywalker from the turret controls. The inevitable post-puke headache was starting to come on, but she didn’t dare complain. Now wasn’t the time to be the weakest link. 

Skywalker seemed to hesitate leaving Ada to her own devices. “Are you --” he started.

“Fine! I’m fine,” she snipped, “sir,” she quickly tacked on the perfunctory “sir” before she could be punished for insubordination. Not that Master Skywalker was that much of a hardass; she just didn’t want to ruin her chances of accompanying him on an upcoming mission. 

Skywalker nodded and left to oversee the other Apprentices onboard. 

Ada closed her eyes once again. Concentrating on calming her overworked nerves, mellowing the dizziness she felt in her head, the spinning sensation that just wouldn’t abate. 

She felt his presence before he dropped into the already-cramped turret. 

Ada sighed, “Yes, Apprentice Solo?” 

He pressed something into the palm of her hand. She opened one eye and looked at the small blue capsule. She looked at Ben quizzically.

“Motion sickness. This will help. I take one before every flight, just in case,” he said. Ada nodded. “... Thank you,” she said, at last. Ben pursed his lips in his way of saying you’re welcome without actually saying it and took his leave. 

_What the hell?_ Ada thought. It can’t make it any worse, she thought as she swallowed the pill dry, wincing as scratched her esophagus on the way down.

By the time they landed on Coruscant, Ada felt almost back to her normal self. Relieved that she wouldn’t, in fact, hurl on Master Skywalker’s boots today, she practically skipped off the shuttle. 

“Nice flying today, Jenuri,” she said to her fellow Apprentice. “Thanks, _burrata_ ,” Jenuri replied. _Burrata_ meant something along the lines of “comrade” in her native language; at least, Ada hoped that’s what it meant. 

###

Jenuri was one of the first friends she made after arriving at the Jedi temple with Master Skywalker. Ada smiled fondly, remembering the first time she saw Jenuri, bounding up to her with a smile that seemed too big for her face. 

“Hi! I’m Jenuri. I’m so glad you’re here; the ladies are a bit outnumbered at the moment,” she complained as she tucked her arm into Ada’s elbow. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the rabble rousers.”

There was Morgares Nugdenux, from Trabith; Hezza Silna, with his two antennae, from Balosar; Rossaph Ishtatu, from the peaceful planet of Chalacta and one of the few other self-identified females; Vade Marvud of Savareen, female, whose people were tormented by the disciples of Darth Maul in the past; Car Birmian of Naboo and who presented himself as if he were royalty; Kroz Thusdom from Guldosi; Irlon Nyvas from Correlia, a bit of a loner; Jenuri Bos of Serenno, affable and self-ascribed matchmaker; Ada herself, hailing from Isobe; and Ben Solo, whose reputation preceded him.

Ben was sitting a noticeable distance away from the rest of the group, only outdistanced by Irlon, the aloof Correlian.

Ada’s eyes lingered on Solo for a second longer than anyone else, taking in his appearance, his demeanor. She looked at Jenuri questioningly and Jenuri gave her a knowing smile - a look that said _we’ll talk later_. 

“It’s -- it’s nice to meet you all,” Ada drummed up the courage to introduce herself. “I’m from Isobe.”

“Yeah, the pink skin and pointy ears kinda gave it away,” Car of Naboo smiled at her - or leered - Ada couldn’t quite figure it out. Her skin flushed but Jenuri came to her rescue.

“Oh, can it, flyboy,” she said, rolling her eyes. Ada took a breath. _Don’t be intimidated; you’ve fought more fearsome beasts than this group of Force users_ , she told herself. Although, from the way her heart was pounding in her throat, Ada wasn’t sure she believed herself. 

Thankfully some of the others quickly engaged her with questions about her homeworld, about living in the Expansion region, her knowledge of the Force. 

Morgares of Trabith was a jokester and had everyone in stitches with his ridiculous tales. Rossaph of Chalacta made Ada feel comfortable and peaceful with her stories from her own home planet. Vade described her family’s history of battling the dark side and told the tale of her uncle, who faced down Darth Maul himself.

“Obviously, he didn’t survive, but it’s still a cool story,” she said. Others simply observed the newcomer and listened as the group shared their stories. At some point, Jenuri pressed a hot mug of tea into her hands (“You looked a bit worse for wear after your trip,” she winked). 

It seemed like in the blink of an eye, hours had passed. Ada had been so engrossed in everyone’s backstory, she hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. Jenuri yawned and turned to Rossaph, “Oof, I’m beat. You ready to turn in?”

Rossaph stood and stretched, “Oh, yes, I haven’t stayed up this late in ages. It’s well past my bedtime.”

“Oh, Ada,” Jenuri quipped, “You’re bunking with myself and Rossaph right over there,” she pointed across the firepit to the other side of the camp. “You join us whenever you’re ready,” she gave Ada a prissy smile and wiggled her eyebrows up and down. The two girls giggled behind their hands and headed to bed.

Ada had long-since noticed that Ben Solo remained near. He hadn’t moved from his original spot and he hadn’t said a word all night; _he’s an observer_ , she thought.

Ada hadn’t wanted to admit it, but she was curious about him and wanted to know everything about General Organa; even Captain Solo’s adventures ranked legendary among her people. She wanted to see if, perhaps, he would be more loquacious one-on-one. 

Jenuri and Rossaph put their arms around each other as they walked back toward their hut, chattering amiably with each other. She smiled as they entered the hut. She had missed friendship more than she realized. Ever since Cal - Ada shook her head to clear it from those thoughts. Cal was gone. Mourning him served no further purpose other than to fuel her drive to destroy the First Order.

 _He’s not going to say anything. He’s just going to sit there, watching me_ , she thought to herself. A chuckle from behind her.

“What?” she asked as she turned to face him. It was the first time she got a good look at him since she arrived.

“Nothing,” he murmured. 

Ada rolled her eyes. “You’ve been sitting here all night,” she stated plainly.

“Yes, I have,” he replied, tonelessly. Ada looked around as if searching for something else to say to him.

The corner of his mouth twitched into a semblance of a smile, black hair falling into his eyes.

“What’s it like being the son of General Organa and Han Solo?” Ada blurted out, horrified at what she was asking before the last words left her mouth. _Oh my stars, I’m a certifiable idiot_ , she thought.

He stared at her deadpan for several breaths and then said, “Fucking awful.”

Ada burst into laughter. She tried to control it and couldn’t figure out if he was being serious or not. She took a deep breath to calm herself and looked back at him, worried she had offended him.

She cleared her throat, “That’s… mmm,” she stumbled when the corner of his mouth lifted again, finding humor in her obvious discomfort and confusion.

“That’s not what I was expecting to hear,” she said, finally stifling her shocked laughter. 

He actually smiled at that; small dimples forming in the corners of his mouth. At that, Ada stood and stepped over the strewn logs that served as seating around the firepit. She closed the distance between them, taking in some of his features. Hazel eyes, a few freckles on his nose and cheeks, and his lips… lush.

Ada cursed her habit of blushing and tried to distract him from how hot her face felt by sticking her hand out, “Ada Zahn of Isobe. It’s nice to officially meet you, Ben Solo.”

Ben looked at her outstretched hand and then back to her eyes. Just when she thought he was going to leave her hand hanging there, he reached out and took it.

She felt a zap, a sting in her hand when they touched. Images flickered through her vision; things she had never seen before in her life. 

_Yelling, boots stomping on the floor, a door slamming, loneliness…_

Ben sucked in a breath and ripped his hand away. Ada shook the feelings out of her head, feelings that didn’t belong to her… they had to belong to -

Ben suddenly stood, sizing her up as he stepped over one of the logs. Ada found herself speechless. This kind of thing had never, ever happened before. Not with Cal or Krindi, or with her mother. She had never peered into someone’s… mind before. 

By the time she processed what had just happened enough to apologize for the intrusion, Ben was already backing away. “Wait,” she said, but he had turned and was stalking off to his own hut.

“Shit,” she muttered, aiming a kick at one of the logs. It crushed her toe and she cursed more fervently, although she didn’t know what she expected. After nursing her wounded ego a bit, she put out the fire and made her way to the hut she shared with Jenuri and Rossaph. 

She laid down on the empty bed, trying to calm her mind enough to fall asleep. But she couldn’t stop thinking about what she had seen.

The scene she witnessed was from about knee-height; was it one of Ben’s memories from when he was a toddler? Leia and Han had been going at it about something… their child sitting on the floor witnessing their adult problems… Ada rolled onto her side and forced her eyes closed. 

_It doesn’t matter_ , she concluded, _because you were never supposed to see it_. It wasn’t her business, his private thoughts. It alarmed her how uncomfortable she felt at violating him, even if it was an accident. It worried her further that she longed to know more about him. _Fucking awful_ , he had said of being a part of his family...

Ada turned her thoughts to something more distracting. Her last goodbye with Rusk, his mouth nibbling at her neck, under her ears, touching her until she was warm all over…

###

The Apprentices were standing side-by-side in a luxurious room on Coruscant; Master Skywalker instructed them on the next step of their mission. Not once had he ever made these tasks into a competition, but the Apprentices themselves seemed determined to make it one. 

Someone within the Resistance was feeding information to the First Order. “We have to find this individual, and make sure they are brought to justice,” said Skywalker. Everyone knew what kind of “justice” he was referring to.

“We’re on Coruscant to try to track down the whereabouts of this particular spy. We know they’ve fielded information that is highly-secure, meaning…”

“A limited number of operatives could have access to that information,” replied Kroz.

“Yes,” affirmed Skywalker, “The Resistance has gathered intelligence that this individual could, potentially, be a member of the Senate.”

Ada clenched her jaw at hearing this news. It brought up bad feelings about the Clone Wars and Senator Palpatine; stories that haunted her. She couldn’t fathom that kind of treachery happening again.

“Make sure your feelings on this matter are clear. That is of utmost importance as we collect our evidence,” Master Skywalker said. “Now, you’ll find a change of clothes in the next room. We must blend in and keep our identities concealed if we’re to be successful.”

“So, we’re acting on behalf of the General, now? I thought we were supposed to be an independent faction, not an arm of the Resistance,” Ada posited to Jenuri as they changed in the parlor. She didn’t know why she felt so uncomfortable with this mission. Obviously, the Jedi would side with the Resistance - morally and otherwise. It just felt… like some kind of abuse of power. She pondered her feelings on this matter while fiddling with the crystal that hung around her neck.

Jenuri glanced at Ada and shrugged as she said, “It’s what’s expected of us, I guess.”

“Doesn’t it seem… conflicting, though?” Ada inquired, feeling slightly desperate for validation, “I thought the Jedi were supposed to be impartial peacekeepers.”

“Well, I guess Master Skywalker has enough information to warrant an investigation,” Jenuri said as she pulled her stylish tunic over her head. “I get to be handmaiden to one of the Senators; lucky me,” she said.

Ada couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or genuinely excited. Ada looked at her wardrobe. Simple attire for a Coruscant - senator? 

She stared at the long lapels and exaggerated hood required of the New Republic senate. “W-what is this?” she asked incredulously, to no one in particular.

“Senator robes,” Ben replied, appearing at her side. 

“Yeah, I know but why do I have them?” she asked, noticing he was wearing the same robes. 

“It seems,” he murmured, “that we’re infiltrating the New Republic senate.”

Ada swallowed as she took in his new visage. Truly, when he combed his hair and stopped slouching, he could pass as royalty. Ada chuckled.

“What?” he asked.

“You look like your mother,” she said. “Diplomacy suits you, Senator Solo,” she teased in a posh accent as she curtsied. She was feeling better now that she was off the shuttle, and couldn’t help but push his buttons.

“You’re an asshole,” he replied, thin-lipped. Ada shook her head and laughed as she pulled the cowl over her head.

“Shall we?” she asked, gripping him by the elbow and leading him through the parlor doors. 

She thought they looked absurd. She and Ben donned strange headpieces that allowed their hoods to drape just so on their heads. Jenuri, thankfully, helped them become presentable, futzing over every little detail. 

After briefing the others, who would blend in as handmaids, assistants, and secretaries, Luke Skywalker pulled Ben and Ada to the side.

“You two have a key role to play. You’ll be seated next to Senator Sindian of Arkanis-” Ada started at this statement. “Yes, Ada, I’m hopeful that you’ll be able to strike up a conversation with her and, perhaps, glean a little information about our spy. We believe the informant traveled to Arkanis recently, in the hopes of establishing a solid connection between the Arkanians and the Resistance,” Skywalker clarified.

Ada swallowed hard. She had plenty of doubts regarding her ability to subtly question a Senator of the New Republic. But instead of exposing her lack of confidence, she simply said, “Yes, Master Skywalker.”

“And,” Luke continued, “Ben will be there in case the situation requires… a bit more Force.”

Skywalker confirmed that they each understood their role. As they strode away Ben turned, “No pressure, right? Just the success of an entire reconnaissance mission resting on our shoulders.”

“I’ve never done anything like this. The only things I know about Arkanis are secondhand and I’ve been away from home for-” how long had she been gone? “for ages,” she concluded lamely. Trying to keep the panic at bay, she wiped her sweaty palms on her Senator robes.

“Look at me,” Ben commanded. Grudgingly, she made eye contact with him.

“You’re not going to puke, right?”

“No!” She scoffed, crossing her arms. Ben chuckled, nudging her with his elbow.

“Hey,” he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him, “You’re going to do fine. Master Skywalker wouldn’t have given you this assignment if he didn’t think you could do it.”

“My feelings in this are - conflicted. This isn’t what I was picturing my first mission with the Jedi to be,” she whispered to him as they stood along in the hall, walking slowly toward the Parliament room. 

“What did you have in mind?” he asked.

“I don’t know - something less, slimy,” Ada said.

Ben laughed, with more than a little bitterness imbued in it. “You get used to it.”

They waited in the hall for what seemed an eternity before they were permitted to enter the chambers and were seated next to Senator Sindian. Ada sat next to her; Ben on the other side of Ada. 

Ada smiled her most innocent smile at the Senator, hoping to come across as young and naive. 

“Greetings,” she said perkily, “You must be Senator Sindian.”

The woman sitting next to her looked so austere, inhospitable even. She merely nodded her head at Ada. 

Ben, sensing Ada’s discomfort, gave her fingers a quick squeeze as they dangled between their seats. A momentary, but appreciated source of reassurance. _Kala, please don’t let me fuck this up_ , she pleaded. Ada had no idea what Skywalker meant by “ _Ben will be there if the situation requires more Force_ ,” but she didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“You’re the Senator from Arkanis, correct?” Ada pressed.

“Yes,” the woman replied, gesturing to her name plate which read: Senator Sindian, Arkanis.

“It’s been ages since I’ve been to Arkanis. Coruscant might be the heart of the galaxy, but Arkanis is the mind. One of my dearest friends was from Adascopolis and she spoke so fondly of the scientific might of the Arkanians,” Ada rambled, convinced she was laying it on too thick. But Krindi had told her the Arkanians were hard-to-please people and loved to hear ideologies about themselves. She felt like an idiot, but the Senator hadn’t stood up and left yet, so she took that as a good sign.

The Senator turned her head toward Ada. She noticed Senator Sindian’s neck was bedazzled with countless diamonds, a common export from Arkanis. 

“Your friend; what was her surname?” she asked, pointedly.

Ada swallowed, not having enough time to think up a lie. “Iro,” she said without hesitation. Had she blown it, given away their cover?

The Senator smiled, “Ah, yes, the Iro family. Talented family of programmers and engineers. We were sad to lose them to the Empire. How did you meet your friend?”

Thankfully, Ada’s and Ben’s cover story didn’t require a ton of fabrication. The pair were from Isobe, having met distant members of the Iro family after they fled as refugees. 

Ada subtly inhaled a deep, calming breath as Senator Sindian nodded her head in understanding. “Yes,” she said, “a number of Akanians found refuge in Isobe. We’re eternally grateful for such sanctuary.” 

After a bit more back and forth about the evils of the Imperial reign, Ada asked, “Does Arkanis get many visitors nowadays? I was just a child when I last saw the capitol city and it seemed as though most visitors were there for business.”

“Mmm, yes most outsiders travel to Arkanis for business purposes.”

“Diamonds?” Ada inquired, pretending she was Jenuri channelling her inner child.

“Diamonds,” the Senator smiled, “among other things.”

Ada raised an eyebrow, co-conspiratorily. The Senator chucked, “Sometimes we get visitors inquiring about technological advancements.”

“Well, I imagine Arkanians have much to offer those poor souls in the Resistance. As well as the First Order, now that I think about it.”

“Possibly,” the Senator shrugged. Much to Ada’s dismay, the Court was called to session. Ben, who had until this moment, remained a silent figure next to her, leaned over and whispered, “Follow her to the ladies’ refresher during recess.”

Ada didn’t indicate that she heard him other than to question _why?_

_Because she doesn’t want to confide in you with so many others around. She’ll be more forthcoming alone._

Ada nearly jumped out of her seat as she heard Ben’s voice in her head. 

“S-sorry,” she said to the Senator, “something pricked me.”

 _How are we doing this?_ she asked. _I don’t know_ , he replied, squeezing her hand gently.

The proceedings were dull. Ben seemed to be listening, but Ada couldn’t concentrate. She was trying to keep her focus from drifting, but their strange way of communicating kept jarring her. 

Nothing like this had happened to her since her first night with the Jedi. When she saw his memories. Ada tried to apologize for intruding, but Ben - Ben just-- 

_He’s impossible to read_ , she thought. She remembered their next moment together, before she was really one of the Apprentices.

Skywalker had given them all long sticks so they could hit each other with them. Alright, it was slightly more refined than that, but they couldn’t use lightsabers yet - not until they had mastered control over their form.

At first, Jenuri and Ada were paired together, but the girls couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous they looked. So, Master Skywalker gave everyone new pairs, and Ben was hers. _Naturally_ , she thought bitterly.

They faced each other, preparing to spar. 

“Hi,” Ada said, trying to break the ice. Ben merely lifted his chin a fraction of an inch in acknowledgement of her presence. 

She pressed her lips together and looked at his boots.

When Skywalker told them to duel, Ben lunged forward with a fervor that Ada hadn’t expected. He jabbed her in the ribs with his spear, causing her to stumble a bit in her regroup. 

_Alright_ , she thought, _if it’s a fight he wants, then it’s a fight he’s going to get._

They walked in a circle around each other, her eyes steeled against his. She twirled the staff in her hand absently and remembered fighting the mechs on Isobe.

 _I’ve had worse_ , she reassured herself, and sprinted toward him. She made to strike him from above, but at the last second slid past him and kicked out her leg, tripping him so he landed face-down in the dirt.

Ben Solo dusted himself off and turned to face his opponent. He. was. pissed. 

Ada swallowed her fear and prepared to meet him head on. Truthfully, she was more comfortable being the hunter, not the prey. She needed to show him that there were two predators in this arena.

Ada’s eyes followed his every move. When Ben lunged again, she was ready and easily deflected his staff. She countered his attack with a devastating blow to his face from her own staff. 

Ben grunted and stumbled as the staff connected with his jaw. She threw him a wicked smile.

He growled - actually _growled_ at her, as he threw himself into his next attack and she immediately knew his weakness: he couldn’t control himself. Ada had been there before; that feeling of letting the Force do as it wants with you. It feels good to let it control you for once, but it’s a slippery slope. She had learned that lesson long ago. It appeared Ben hadn’t.

The next time he lunged, she parried and spun away from his attack. Ada would let him tire himself out and then annihilate him. 

His fight style was intimidation; Ben slashed and lunged and attacked with such a ferocity, you’d be hard-pressed to not feel fear fighting him.

Ada _had_ had worse, however. Fighting the Thunder Bear, spitting in the Stormtrooper’s face, defending her friends by using the Force to bring down a tree - she wasn’t afraid of him. 

One of his attacks finally caught her on the side of her head. She felt dazed for a moment, but remembered that she had survived a Thunder Bear attack, somehow. She could recover, and she did. 

Both of them were sweating, breath huffing from exertion, circling one another, looking for a weak spot. 

Ben was crouched, poised, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Ada knew if she goaded him into acting rashly, she could take him down.

“Come on,” she said so only he could hear her, “Are you afraid I’ll see more of your fondest memories?”

It was a low blow, but it worked. A growl erupted from him as he ran at her. Ada grasped her staff and swung it, hard, connecting with his face.

There was a _thwack_ and then Ben was on the ground, unmoving.

It wasn’t until now that Ada realized everyone else had stopped what they were doing to watch your showdown. Ben lay on the ground, blood spurting from his nose, unconscious. 

Suddenly, Ada felt bad for having goaded him. He had felt so threatening in the moment, but looking at him splayed out, he just looked like the hapless young man he was. 

Ada dropped to the ground, cradling his head in her hands. “Ben! Ben, are you okay?”

He coughed, turned his head to the side, and splat a glob of blood. “Nice fight,” he slurred. Ada was convinced that she had given Leia Organa’s child brain damage and that she would certainly be enemy number one from this day forward.

After Ben had been treated for his injuries (he would make a full recovery), Luke pulled her aside. 

“Master Skywalker,” she sputtered, “I don’t know what came over me I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hurt him like that -”

“Ada,” Luke said, “You fought well today. Ben is probably the most fearsome fighters I’ve seen as a Jedi. I had to know where your skills lie.”

“I - I don’t understand. Am I in trouble or…” she trailed off.

“Would any of my other Apprentices be in trouble for fighting their opponent well?”

It dawned on Ada that he actually wanted an answer.

“Um, no sir. I suppose not.”

“Ben is no different. He has weaknesses like everyone else. It’s just that there are fewer people willing to exploit his.”

Ada nodded, understanding his message. Ben Solo wasn’t to be idolized as the son of the Resistance General and infamous smuggler. He was a Jedi Apprentice, just like the rest of them, and he deserved to be tested, just like the rest of them.

Ben was recovering in Skywalker’s hut. Ada wanted to talk to him while he was somewhat incapacitated.

She pushed the curtain aside and slunk inside. “Ben,” she whispered in the gloom.

“What?” he responded, sounding stuffy and garbled.

“I, um… It’s me, Ada.”

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

Ada bit her lip and plowed forward with what she wanted to get off her chest. “I’m sorry about touching you and seeing your memories. I didn’t know that it would happen, I swear. I would never do that to you, or to anyone. It’s never happened to me before and I don’t ever want it to happen again. I’m… I’m really sorry.”

Silence.

“Why would you never want to do it again?” he asked. Ada was taken aback.

“... You mean, see people’s memories without their permission?”

“It’s a desirable asset,” he said. After a moment he continued. “I wondered if you had done it on purpose. If you had been searching for those memories…”

“No,” she immediately answered, “It was… random for me. I had no idea it would happen when we touched,” Ada whispered.

After another moment of contemplation, she asked, “Why those memories? The ones of -” she faltered, “the ones of your parents fighting?”

“Their incompatibility has been on my mind lately.”

“Why?”

Ben let out a snort of derision. “Because they’ve been that way my whole life,” he said bitterly. Ada felt like he regretted saying it out loud.

She moved closer, against her own instincts, knowing it could have been a huge mistake. She found his hand and clutched it in her own.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. And in that instant, she saw her own memories - ones she didn’t even know she possessed - flash before her eyes. 

_Her mother begging her father not to leave. Pleading with him, reminding him of their young daughter - she couldn’t raise her alone.... Still, he left. Ada knew he would never come back. The crushing weight of the loss of a parent she couldn’t even remember filled her, dragging her down into a black abyss. ‘I have to do this,’ her father held her mother by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. ‘It’s the only way to keep you safe....”_ His voice trailed off and Ada severed the connection dragging those memories to the surface.

“What…” he started. Ada didn’t want Ben to speak. 

“Don’t,” she hissed. He was silent. 

“We’re even now, yeah?” she said as her voice shook. It wasn’t really a question. She scurried out of the hut and collapsed on her own bed, heaving with shock.

Ada hadn’t remembered what her father looked like. Until then, she remembered snippets of him; feelings, really. 

But whatever demented connection she had with Ben, she saw his face clearly for the first time in her life. 

Ada snatched the pillow to her mouth and missed the face of the man she never knew as her father. 

###

Ada hadn’t realized the extent to which she drifted off during the Court proceedings until Ben gave her a swift shove to her ribs with his elbow.

“You’re snoring,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t handle this level of boring,” she whispered back.

“Come with me,” he commanded. She followed his lead as he walked out of Court. “You were thinking about us.”

“N-no I wasn’t,” Ada said, panicked at being caught in an outright lie.

Ben chuckled; he never fully laughed, Ada noticed. “You’re a terrible liar,” he said.

“I know,” she said huskily, staring up at him. He was… handsome in his own way. She denied what he stirred inside her; she hadn’t felt desire in so long; she wasn’t allowed to. To be a Jedi was to forego all of those feelings; how else could one remain impartial?

 _How much are you willing to sacrifice to remain impartial?_ Ada has asked herself this question so many times since she started on her path, she had lost count. During the night, it was especially hard to deny her desires. Sometimes, she doubted that she was cut out to be a Jedi.

Ben, no matter how she denied it, fueled something within her. The closest feeling she had to reference was Rusk, back on Isobe; _probably an actual Senator by now_ , she thought ruefully. 

There was something about the way Rusk looked at her that lit a fire within her, a lust she couldn’t quite articulate. Rusk had admired her for her intelligence, her fortitude, her willingness to lead. She hadn’t loved him, not really, but she wanted him and she wanted what he offered her.

Ada wetted her lips, finding her mouth suddenly dry. She couldn’t quite meet Ben’s gaze, battling her own emotions and needs.

He tucked a finger beneath her chin and gently pushed her face upwards to meet his own. 

His lips, she thought absently, were so close to her own. He was waiting for her to close the distance. She could make the decision to dive headfirst into Hell, if she wanted to.

Ada had to know. She had to know what he tasted like. Her lips met his, tentatively at first. Ben moaned into her kiss and pulled Ada closer, a hand at the back of her head, demanding deeper connection. She ran her tongue across his bottom lip, as she had fantasized doing countless times.

Ada’s hands wandered up his back, feeling strong muscles beneath his clothes. And, in an instant, she wanted to know when he looked like without them on.

She knew he sensed those thoughts - just like she could sense his own deepening desire. She couldn’t keep her needs at bay. Her mind pictured him, fully naked, totally bared in front of her. 

“Ben,” Ada said his name breathlessly. He groaned into her neck and positioned himself between her legs. She could feel his arousal as he rubbed needily against her. 

Suddenly, a door banged open. Court recess. Ada, startled, drew in a sharp breath as Ben backed away and repositioned himself in his pants. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed their embrace. Ada grabbed his hands.

“Solo,” she said throatily, “I …” she blew a stream of air out of her mouth. More and more often, she found herself speechless around him. Ada pressed a hand against her mouth as she fought to regain control over her own brain.

He stood, looking at her. “Zahn,” he rumbled. Then he turned and strode away.

###

Once again, Ada found herself splashing water on her face as she fought with her body for some semblance of rationality.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about… him. All of him. The muscles that lined his back, his lips, his… other appendages. 

He felt… large, compared to Rusk. Not that Rusk wasn’t a thoughtful lover, but - 

_Stop it, Ada. This is bigger than your libido. Get it together._

As she was clutching the sink, someone threw the bathroom door open - Senator Sindian.

 _‘Follow her to the ladies’ refresher during recess,'_ Ben had advised. Well, how convenient she had ended up here after their tet-a-tet. 

“Ah, Senator!’ Ada beamed, recovering from her lust-filled state. 

“Oh, hello there,” she responded, and Ada realized Sindian hadn’t even looked at Ada’s fake Senator name. Suddenly, she was fed up with this whole mission.

Ada turned back to the mirror under the guise of reapplying some of her makeup. She busied herself as the Senator used the toilet, formulating her plan for when she emerged from the stall.

Ada was absently reapplying copious amounts of rogue, as is the custom on Coruscant, as Senator Sindian walked to the sink to wash her hands.

“It’s a ridiculous amount of makeup, isn’t it?” Ada posited.

“Mmm, I’ve never really enjoyed it myself,”

“Has anyone associated with the Resistance visited Arkanis recently?” Ada asked pointedly as she turned toward the Senator.

Sindian smirked. “I was wondering when you were going to get to the point. It was pretty obvious that you and the surly behemoth weren’t actually Senators.”

Ada waited for her answer.

“His surname is Hux, but he could be operating under a false identity. He dropped in about a month ago, inquiring about human cybernetics.”

“What did he look like?”

“Human, red hair. A native of Arkanis, actually, which makes him even more dangerous. His father is no friend to the Resistance, that's for certain.” 

“Thank you,” Ada replied as Sindian left the refresher, heels clacking purposefully on the tile floor. 

Ada returned to her seat next to Ben.

 _Spy’s surname is Hux, human male, red hair, from Arkanis. We should check out his father's history, too._. Ada projected this thought at him and Ben nodded imperceptibly.

Senator Sindian did not return.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Ada try to reconcile their feelings for one another with the staunch Jedi beliefs. Ada is betrayed by a fellow Jedi, and deepens her relationship with Ben, despite her misgivings.

Ada and Ben debriefed Master Skywalker after the session, revealing all they knew about the spy within the Resistance; that it was likely he was using a false identity to stay undercover and that his father was somehow involved in the First Order, perhaps.

“Thank you both. This information will serve the Resistance well.” That was all he said as he turned his back to them.

Ben also turned and began to stride out of the room. Ada followed.

Ben kept his pace, his long legs easily outpacing Ada’s. He was avoiding her. She stopped trying to keep pace with him.

“Ben,” she said softly. He slowed his walk and eventually stopped. Ada walked over to him,

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” she said as she caught up with him.

“Doesn’t it, though?” The pair started walking back toward the parlor in unison. “You want to keep this a secret?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“You’re wrong,” Ada retorted, “I don’t want to keep this a secret at all.”

Ben faced her. “You know this can’t happen between us.”

She said nothing as she walked ahead of him. He easily caught up to her and kept pace.

“Where I’m from…” Ada started, then struggled to find how to continue. “Where I’m from, attraction isn’t shunned. It’s not something to be embarrassed about.”

“Sounds nice,” Ben said.

“I was under the delusion that this belief was universal. I’ve never had anyone tell me that my urges were unnatural or … something to be repressed,” Ada bit her lip in discomfort at trying to communicate how difficult controlling her urges was for her.

“When I told Luke I would take the path of the Jedi, I never imagined it would be so restrictive. Still, when I learned about having to refocus that energy into something more ‘beneficial’, I never thought… I never thought you would have this effect on me.”

Ben was looking straight ahead as they walked, but she could tell she had his full attention. “This isn’t the first time I’ve felt something like this, and I doubt it’s your first time feeling this way. But I don’t know what to do about it.”

Ben stopped suddenly, gazing down at Ada. He reached up and ran a leather-clad thumb across her lips. Then, in true Solo fashion, he just walked away.

Ada scowled. Apparently, he inherited something from his playboy father. 

On the shuttle back to their training site, the other Apprentices debriefed any information gleaned from their undercover operation. Not much new information was brought to light, aside from what Ada had learned from Senator Sand. 

She wondered idly about the spy, Hux, working for the Rebels only to turn that information over to the First Order. She wondered what would happen to him.

Before boarding, Ben had slipped her another capsule. She was grateful for a reprieve from the motion sickness. But her heart was pounding as snippets of their intimacy kept replaying across her mind. She focused on closing herself off from those feelings, breathing deeply, realigning her thoughts to the present. 

Ben could hear her thoughts; they could hear each other. She tried to pry into Irlon’s thoughts, into Vade’s, but she couldn’t. 

How was this happening to the two of them? She’d have to be more mindful about letting down her defenses; she didn’t want him to have access to her thoughts whenever he felt like it.  
Ada ran a hand through her hair. 

She didn’t like the idea but… she pressed into Ben’s mind, gently, just to test her hypothesis. It was challenging, at first, since he too had thrown up a few lines of defense to keep her out. But she started picking up bits and pieces -- her face, looking up at him in the hallway before the Court recess, a burning craving for her, flush with need -- then the scene shifted as she delved deeper into his memories; a room, pitch black and a voice whispering through the darkness…

She felt his loneliness again, fear, anguish, rage. Then, a presence - dark and evil in the room. She felt panic grip her throat, cutting off her air supply --

“Stop!” Ben yelled from across the shuttle, ripping her from the reverie. She still couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t in his head anymore so how was she still suffocating? 

Everyone on board stopped what they were doing and stared between the two of them. At last, the pressure on her throat released and she gulped at the air. Had he… had he been choking her from across the shuttle? It seemed like madness to even think it. He was powerful, but not like that… not in ways...

 _Ways of the Sith_. As she finished her thought, she looked directly at him and refused to break eye contact.

 _I thought you didn’t want to break into my memories without permission_ , his voice filled her head.

 _I lied_. She responded. _And it looks like I’m not the only liar here. What have you been hiding?_

He tore his eyes away from her. Radio silence.

###

Ada and Jenuri had practiced their fighting form in the large boulder field on the east side of the island. Having cover helped both of them hone their Force sensitivity and allowed them to learn to predict the opponent.

They were sitting on the edge of the cliff, feet dangling over the ledge, staring out at the vast sea. “So, what’s with you and Solo?” It wasn’t like Jenuri to be so direct. Normally, she skirted around asking the real questions.

“Huh?”

“You heard me,” Jenuri turned and faced her friend, “What’s the deal with the two of you? I thought he was going to murder you on the shuttle,” she said in between bites of her food. “It’s lucky that Master Skywalker took his X-Wing back, otherwise-” she drew a line across her throat.

“There’s nothing going on between us,” and Ada meant that sentiment, in the moment. Ada had meditated on the matter and decided that training to become a Jedi was more important than her attraction to Ben. When she was around him, she didn’t feel like herself. She felt unsure, lacking confidence and focus.

Ada put as much distance between them since the incident on the shuttle. She crossed a line, broke her own rules. And for what? To see some creepy room filled with the incomprehensible sense of impending doom? Ada shuddered.

“I thought I could be friends with him,” Ada continued when it was clear Jenuri wasn’t buying it. “I clearly was wrong.”

Her laugh sounded like glass breaking, “Ben Solo can’t be friends with anyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s an antisocial mess. He’d be a decent Jedi if he could get his emotions even a little under control… No,” she shook her head, “he’s a nightmare. Everyone’s afraid to even look at him the wrong way, whether because of his lineage or because he’s a brute. And don’t get me wrong,” she waved her hands at the air, “fear can get you places, but only so far.”

Ada didn’t know how to respond. Jenuri had never really made her feelings about Solo clear until now. Ada didn’t really see how he was that fear-inducing. Intimidating, sure, but a nightmare? 

“I don’t know, I’ve fought him one-on-one and he’s really not that scary. Maybe he just needs to be given a chance.”

Jenuri put a hand on Ada’s shoulder. “Maybe you didn’t see what I saw. When he attacked you, it was to hurt you - not to duel. And the look on his face on the shuttle,” she shivered, “I’ll never forget it. He’s vicious… and cruel.” 

Ada could feel the sadness emanating from her. This seemed so unlike her, to be so sullen. Perhaps Ada hadn’t seen his viciousness when she was defending herself or sifting through his private thoughts. She’d have to learn to be more objective.

“Still, though,” Ada said softly, “He’s one of us. And he is a good Jedi. He’s… okay to work alongside, actually.” Jenuri only nodded. 

“Well,” she said, standing up, “shall we head back?” _Her moods are so mercurial_ , Ada thought as she shook her head and grabbed her staff.

Back at camp, they exchanged their staffs for shorter sticks, more to the length of a lightsaber, Ada thought.

They had been training nonstop with a variety of weapons, constantly practicing their form under the guidance of Master Skywalker, who would stop them periodically to correct a stance or adjust a grip.

Ada thought she had made significant progress, overall. She certainly wasn’t a nimble fighter, like Vade, or powerful, like Kroz, but she could hold her own. She found a style that suited her well and she worked hard to employ it masterfully.

She was dueling with Irlon, focusing on channeling the Force, watching his movements, and attempting to predict them. She hadn’t really been able to get to know Irlon; in fact, she knew considerably less about him even than Ben Solo. Irlon was always aloof, moving in the shadows. His fighting style was as unpredictable as he was, at least to Ada, making him a unique challenge. 

Ada and Irlon circled one another, waiting the other one out. Just as Ada was ready to strike he leaped over her head and thumped her on the back with his stick. None of the other Apprentices had mastered the Force quite at that level yet. Ada was forced to concede victory to Irlon in that round.

They reset and began again. He was darting back and forth, quickly, using the Force to evade her attacks. He wasn’t even trying to duel her - just wear her down, she realized, annoyed. _That’s my tactic_ , she thought. 

He dodged again, but this time Ada, fed up with his Force leaps, threw her left hand up into the air as if she meant to grab onto him and hold him still while she whacked him like a pinata. 

Irlon froze in midair, twisting frantically to get back down to the ground. Ada lowered him to the ground, where she held the stick up to his neck. “You win,” he said. She had turned away from him to reset her opening stance when - _wwwhack!_ She heard his stick whistle through the air before it connected with the back of her skull.

Stars exploded across her vision as she sank to one knee, mouthing wordlessly, trying to shake off the unexpected pain. The black spots in her vision started to fade a bit, when she saw his boots in front of her. Irlon knelt down, put a hand on her shoulder, and whispered, “Never turn your back on your foe.”

Ada shoved his hand off of her ruthlessly and pulled herself back up on two feet. _Cheating sneak_ , she took a deep breath, recentering herself as Irlon paced around her. 

_I’m not your prey_. 

This time, she used the Force before Irlon had time to ready a counterattack. Reaching out, she slammed him into the rock face that created one side of their arena. 

Irlon’s eyes popped open out of the shock of the pain that flooded his body when he hadn’t expected it. Ada let him fall gracelessly to the ground, this time. 

_You wanted an enemy_ , she thought as she stared him down, _Well, you’ve made one_. 

She felt blood dripping down the back of her neck and knew it was likely she’d need stitches in her scalp. She was going to make Irlon pay for his cheap shot.

“I hope you enjoyed taking advantage of my kindness, Irlon,” she purred, “Because it’s the only chance you’ll get.”

He had managed, by this time, to force some air back in his lungs. Ada knew his next attack was going to be brutal, whether with his stick or with the Force. She prepared for either.

Irlon ran at her, leaping and twisting as he hurled his stick at her, guiding it with the Force as it sliced through the air. Ada dove into a roll and blocked its return path as she rose, snatching it with her free hand. She twirled her two sticks in her hands, cocking her head to the side.

Irlon snarled and attempted to Force-push her into the rock face. Ada crossed her sticks in front of her and blocked his efforts. Again, he swiped at her and she felt the Force pull her body toward him. Ada fended off his attack once again and re-established her footing. 

Irlon started dashing back and forth again, searching for a vulnerable spot. He moved in closer to her, and she timed her attack so her sticks hit him squarely in back. He tumbled into the dirt. 

She leapt and landed at his head. “Enough,” she said, firmly. Irlon pushed himself up to his knees and leaned back so his feet were supporting him. He reached out a hand and for a split-second, Ada thought he was offering her a gesture of peace. Then his fingers made to squeeze at her throat, causing her airway to constrict and her eyes to bulge. 

The look on Irlon’s face was wretched, wrathful anger at being outperformed. _Stop_ , she mouthed, wordlessly tearing at the invisible hand that was crushing her windpipe. _Please, stop_.

Where the hell was everyone? If someone didn’t stop him, he was going to kill her. She could feel the blackness starting to creep in around the edges of her vision as her eyes watered; she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling back in her head.

 _I’m going to die here. He’s going to kill me_. Most people would probably panic and start thrashing around, but for whatever reason, Ada remained relatively clear-headed until she was sure she was going to lose consciousness. 

Then her body dropped to the unforgiving ground and the pressure on her throat was gone. She tried to take a gulping, gasping lungful of air, but it hurt too much and she ended up coughing, which turned into retching as she dragged herself as far away as possible. 

Finally, she was able to get the smallest bit of oxygen to her lungs and her vision started to return. Ada gasped on her hands and knees, trying to let gravity help her breathe. 

_Stay calm, stay calm. You’re still alive, stay calm_. She envisioned beating the living shit out of Irlon with every stick on the island, which helped steady her mind. 

Ada felt a hand on her shoulder and the muffled sounds of someone talking - to her, she presumed. It was hard to know because it sounded like she was underwater, blood pulsing loudly in her ears. Her breathing gradually became more rhythmic, less erratic. 

“Ada,” she could recognize the voice as Ben’s. She tried to say something, but all that came out was a raspy squeak. She reached up to the hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, hoping that the touch conveyed that she heard him. 

_It wasn’t you, who was strangling me on the shuttle_. Ada felt his hand jerk as Ben received her message. He didn’t respond, but she felt his surprise - he hadn’t known she was being hurt during their “mind-meld” session on the shuttle. 

“Ugh,” she groaned and rolled onto her side, then onto her back as the sun beat its way through her closed eyelids, tingeing everything a lovely rosey color. Far better than black, she thought. Ada could now hear the numerous conversations happening around her:

“What the hell happened?”

“Did Irlon try to kill her?”

“Where has he gone?”

“Do you think he’s going to kill one of us?”

“Skywalker went after him. Irlon’s good as dead.”

Uneasily, she opened her eyes and squinted at the sky. Coupled with her head injury, being choked out made her feel extremely sensitive and vulnerable.

“I need to go inside,” she said to no one in particular. Hopefully, someone nearby could help her get onto her feet, or better yet, just carrying her to shelter.

She could feel Ben crouch down next to her. He put a hand behind her back and gently pushed her up into a sitting position.

“Oh, my goodness, Ben be careful,” Jenuri worried. Ada could hear and partially see the others forming a close circle around her.

“Back up, make a path,” Ben commanded. They did as he asked. Ada had one arm slung over his broad shoulders and as she went to stand up, her world went black. Scrabbling to remain conscious, she gripped the front of Ben’s robes and mumbled something incoherent.

“Oh, Kriff!” someone exclaimed, “Look at the back of her head!”

“Be quiet,” Ben gritted as he swept her legs out from under her and started to carry her to Master Skywalker’s hut since it had all the medical supplies.

The cool darkness of the hut was blissful compared to the white heat of the sun. She was able to open her eyes fully now and, after a few seconds of squinting, pulled Ben’s face into focus as he sat her on the edge of the bed.

“Can you sit up on your own?” he asked.

“I think so…” Ada slurred. She had never been drunk herself but she sounded like she had just returned from a bender during Festival on Isobe, where the fermented juice of the Bollywog trees flowed freely. _Maybe I should have been a bit more adventurous at Festival_ , she thought dreamily, _Life is too short when you could be executed by one of your fellow Jedi at any moment_. She snorted as Ben was examining the back of her head. 

He looked at her quizzically in response to her odd, humorous outburst, “You’ll need stitches, but we’ll wait for Luke to get back - he’s better with a needle and thread. It’s not bleeding any more, so I think you’ll live to see another day.”

“Oh, good,” she rasped, dripping sarcasm. Her head was throbbing now, sending worrisome jolts of pain down into her neck. Her throat was in agony - every breath felt like shards of glass tearing through her flesh. Ben put a hand on her shoulder and delicately laid her down on Skywalker’s bed.

“Do you remember what happened?” Ben asked. She nodded, though she wasn’t looking forward to having to speak. 

_Can we talk this way, please?_

_Yes. Tell me what happened._

_We were duelling and at one point, I had him pinned. I turned, thinking Irlon had conceded when he smacks me and the back of my head with his stick._

Ben waited for her to continue.

_So the next round, I bided my time and then used the Force to slam him against the rock wall. I was pretty pissed that he took a cheap shot at me. So I wanted to make him earn it._

Ben chuckled out loud at that. 

_I let him fall to the ground. We tussled a bit more, then I ended up disarming him. I had him pinned again. I gave him the chance to lose gracefully. Then he -_

She truly didn’t understand how it was possible Irlon knew how to Force choke someone. Of course, anyone with Force mastery could, conceivably, Force choke an opponent; that kind of brutality was usually reserved for members of the Sith. 

_He Force choked me. Like he did on the shuttle. I thought it had been you, because you were angry with me for looking through your mind again. But it was him. I don’t understand it._

_Do you remember seeing him leave?_ Ben asked.

_No, I was so close to passing out by the time he dropped me… I had no idea what happened. What did happen? Why did he stop? He had every intention of killing me; I could feel it._

_Master Skywalker is searching for him now. Once you’re settled, I’m going to join him to look for Irlon. He won’t escape this island. When we find him, he will be punished._

Ada had closed her eyes until this point. But at Ben’s last words she opened them and looked at him. His pupils enlarged, adjusted to the darkness of the hut. There was something unreadable in his expression, ragged, brimming just behind his stoic facade. 

“Wh-what is it?” Ada croaked. She grimaced at the sound of her voice; she sounded like the bullfrogs back home. She worried about him, for reasons unknown even to herself. 

“Rest,” he said. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead before he left the hut, disappearing into the bright sunlight.

Ada sighed, hand wandering automatically to her necklace and touched the crystal shard absentmindedly. Why couldn’t anything be easy, for once?

###

Luke returned several hours later with Ben, not having found Ada’s attacker. “I’ve locked down all ships on this island. If he wants to escape, he’ll have to swim,” Skywalker said.

By the time she had to retell the story to Luke, her throat had improved and she found that she could speak, providing she had a constant supply of tea. 

When she finished, Luke was staring off to the side, lost in thought. Ada remained silent, giving him time to process.

“I took a risk bringing Irlon here. He had… a difficult upbringing on Corellia, and I thought I could offer him some guidance,” he shook his head, furtively. “I’m sorry this happened, Ada. I take full responsibility and will see to it that Irlon leaves this island.”

“When you capture him, may I see him? Before he’s exiled?”

“I suppose, if that’s what you wish.”

Master Skywalker, Ada assumed, slept in his X-wing so she wouldn’t have to be moved. All night, she jumped at the sound of snapping twigs, or was jolted awake in a panic by pitch popping in the fire. Each time, she thought Irlon would be standing over her, ready to finish the job. 

Just as she was starting to doze off once more, the door to the hut opened quietly, squeaking slightly on its hinges.

Ada sat up and dragged one of the tomes Luke kept in his hut out from under her pillow; she had put it there just in case she needed a weapon. It seemed like the heaviest object in the hut, so she’d have to make do.

“Kriff, put that thing down,” Ben whispered, startled.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed.

“I’m just checking that you’re still breathing.”

“Jenuri and Vade were just here; didn’t you see them leave?”

Ben remained quiet. Then she realized perhaps he just wanted to see her. She cleared her throat, which stung.

“You can stay if you want.” Skywalker had a small furnace in his hut, which provided enough light to see. Ben walked over and opened the furnace door, stoked the flames a bit, and closed it again. He puttered about to Luke’s desk and started rearranging things, absentmindedly. 

“Are you here for my company or are you the cleaning service?” Ada pressed her lips together to keep from snickering at his awkwardness. 

She didn’t see what Jenuri saw in him. What she saw when she looked at Ben Solo was a young man - coarse, unbridled, lonely, and… kind. She thought about how he had been so… tender with her earlier and how his gentleness starkly contrasted with his raw power during duels.

Ben sat cross-legged on the floor. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got the shit beat out of me with a stick and then nearly choked to death.”

The corners of his mouth lifted and he blew air out of his nose - the closest she had seen him come to actual laughter.

“I’m feeling okay,” she said after a pause, “I really, really, really want to punch Irlon in the face though.”

“Understandable.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Ada chewed at her nail, debating whether she wanted to bring up the terrifying dark room she saw in his mind on the shuttle. What the hell kind of memory is that for someone his age to have?

“I don’t want to talk about what you saw in my head,” Ben stated. Of course, he had known what she was thinking. She had to start practicing controlling this connection. 

“Who was in there with you?”

“Did you hear what I just said or did Irlon scramble your brains?”

 _How far can I push before he leaves?_ She licked her lips and pushed forward.

“It’s just… that darkness, the oppressive wrath, the fear… I’ve never felt anything like it. But I felt it again; today, with Irlon. He was seething with… violence, anger. I don’t know. But it was the same feeling that you had in that room. With that thing.”

Ben wiped his hand over his mouth and stared at the floor. “Anyway,” Ada continued, “I was just testing it out - the connection. I couldn’t get into anyone else’s mind. I tried everyone on the shuttle and I could only get to you. I won’t do it again.”

“Good.”

Ada nodded. Ben was picking at something on his boot. She sighed and laid back on the bed. 

“I keep thinking he’s coming back for me,” she whispered.

“He won’t,” Ben said, finally looking up from his feet. She must have looked unsure, because he moved from the floor to the end of the bed and said again, firmly, “He won’t.”

Ada nodded. She was so tired from her physical injuries and from jumping at small noises so often she couldn’t fall asleep. She had been biting her bottom lip so much it was starting to crack, and she had chewed her fingernails down to nubs. 

“We’re going to find him, and he’s never going to hurt you again,” Ben said. He looked away for a moment, seemingly gathering courage. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

At first, Ada thought she had misheard. Her heart leapt cartoonishly in her chest as she contemplated the thought of being alone with Ben Solo… in Master Skywalker’s bed. The thought practically made her giddy. _Maybe he hit my head harder than I thought…_

“Do you want to stay?” she asked, eventually.

Another lopsided smile. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to.”

“Okay, but you have to take your boots off,” she said as she patted the space next to her. He was working hard to keep his face unreadable, and she was trying hard not to hear his thoughts, but they were loud.

“I’m fine with the floor,” he muttered, looking at the blanket that covered the bed.

Ada couldn’t help but hear his thoughts now. He was essentially broadcasting them; they were so clear.

_Their embrace in the hallway on Coruscant, the uncomfortable tightness of his pants, touching her, kissing her, his heart racing, feeling like time had stopped for a moment… then, ‘You know this can’t happen between us.’ … him watching her spar with her fellow Jedi, she was impressive, powerful… her body hanging limp in the air as Irlon strangled her - rage, fear…_

Ada gulped. “Ben, your thoughts… are… they’ve very loud.”

Ben turned to look at her. “You don’t have to stay, if you feel… conflicted. I’ll be fine if you want to go,” she told him.

Fewer thoughts were crossing his mind now, more emotions. A tenderness, a need, the fear of failure, disappointment… She wanted so badly to reach for him, but he was like a wild animal, cornered, ready to lash out. She waited, knees pulled up to her chest, resting her chin on her arms; just watching him.

She knew what he was feeling all too well. One misstep and their lives were over. If anyone found out about the relationship they were kindling, and word got to Skywalker, they would be done for. Where would they go? What would they do? The prospect wasn’t inviting to either of them. 

And yet… and yet when his eyes met hers, she found she really didn’t care about the consequences. It was stupid, potentially throwing her life away. She knew that, but she also knew that if he wanted her, she would happily toss herself into the pits of Hell.

Ben blinked and moved toward her, slowly, as if testing his limits. Ada let go of her legs and rested against the bed’s headboard. He was sitting next to her now, stroking her arm with his hand. She wetted her lips and swallowed, trying to calm the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She wanted to beg him to touch her, but instead, she raised her hand and placed it on the side of his face. Ben turned into her palm and nuzzled it, kissing her palm tenderly.

Foregoing her hand, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. Ada’s eyes fluttered close and she brushed his dark hair out of his face and behind his ear. She held her hand there, cradling his jaw. 

His breath had quickened, his thoughts calmer now. But something else was stirring within him. He kissed her cheek, pecked kisses along her jaw, on her neck below her ear. Everywhere his lips touched blossomed. She sighed as he nipped at her skin, dragged his tongue up her neck and nibbled at her ear. Her breathing was becoming ragged and a soft moan escaped her lips.

He kissed her again, more feverishly this time. His tongue tracing along her lower lip. She parted her lips and let him explore her, kissing him back in earnest. Her hands slid down to his chest and she dipped her fingers under the neckline of his tunic, tracing meandering shapes across his collarbone. Ben paused, pulled his tunic over his head and discarded it on the floor. 

“Fuck,” Ada whispered. His body was… stunning. Hardened muscles beneath pale skin; he looked like the statues she had seen in museums on Naboo. She leaned back, taking him in. “You’re…” she couldn’t find the words for what she thought he was, “beautiful.”

It felt different, calling a man beautiful, but that’s what he was. He smiled at that, insecure. “Come here,” she purred. He climbed on top of her and she pressed her hands against his chest, running them over his flat stomach. He leaned down and kissed her again. This time, he kissed his way down her chest and slid his hand under her shirt. He caressed her as he moved farther up, sliding over her skin, the calluses on his hands raising goosebumps, palming her breast. They sighed together as he fondled her, pinching her nipple gently and rolling it between his fingers. She moaned throatily.

He sat up and she grabbed her shirt by the hem and tugged it over her head, equally as naked as he was, from the waist up. Ben gently took the crystal that hung around her neck between his fingers, examining it briefly. 

Then he dropped it and bit his bottom lip and palmed her breasts again, squeezing gently as he lowered his mouth to her nipple. His tongue teased it so it was hard like a pebble when sucked it into his mouth. “Ah,” Ada moaned. 

He released her nipple and asked “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Ada panted, “No, it feels good.”

Ben smiled and continued caressing her breasts. He kissed his way down lower, running a finger under the hemline of her pants. She watched him and he wound his hands behind her and pulled down her undergarments; she lifted her hips as he pushed them down around her ankles. She kicked them off and watched him, his reaction.

“Fucking Kriff,” he said in wonderment. Ada dropped her head back and laughed. “Is that a good ‘fucking Kriff’ or a bad ‘fucking Kriff’?”

He smiled - actually smiled. It reached his eyes in a way she had never seen before, and the dimples in his cheeks deepened, and it was like all she had ever wanted in the world was to see him happy. 

He leaned down and kissed her again. “I want to taste you,” he huffed into her ear. 

“Bon appetit,” she said with a roguish grin. Smiling, he nipped at her neck again, at her breasts, her stomach, lingering at her hips as her toes curled in anticipation. 

“Mmm, fuck,” she gasped as he spread her legs and sucked at the inside of her thighs. It was taking all of her willpower not to squeal when he flattened his tongue against her pussy and licked from her opening to her clit. 

Her hips jerked as his tongue played with her labia, he sucked gently at her outer lips and wrapped his arms around her legs to keep her hips anchored to the bed. His tongue traced around her slit, tentatively dipping in and out, stoking the flames that were erupting from within her. “Oh, sweet Kala,” she whimpered, urging him on. 

He was smiling as he moved slowly up toward her clit, her heart hammering as she mentally begged for release. His mouth enveloped her clit, his tongue running up and down its hood, driving streaks of pleasure through her. Gasping and audibly moaning now, she grabbed a pillow and bit down on it to muffle the noise. 

Ben moaned into her as his lips sucked at her swollen nub, the muscles in her legs starting to shake and spasm. “Oh, shit, that’s so good,” Ada panted into the pillow. She was so close to breaking when he slipped a finger inside her and began sliding it in and out. 

She threw the pillow aside and bit her bottom lip instead, lifting herself on her elbows. “Oh, Ben,” she groaned as he added a finger. He was watching her face earnestly, his lips glistening; she couldn’t ignore how wet she was. His tongue ran along his bottom lip, sending a shiver up her spine, before he dipped back down between her legs. 

“Oh- oh- oh!” Her chest heaved and her back arched off the bed. “Yes, yesyesyes don’t stop!” she begged. It was like someone else was shouting those words in her voice. The deep, burning ache inside erupted as last; clutching his head between her legs, she threw her head back as she rode out the waves of her orgasm, her hips keeping pace with the movements of his tongue..

Sweat dampened her brow, slicked her neck, her face and chest glowing - the fire making its way to the surface of her skin. Ben was kissing her throbbing sex gently now. Moving to her inner thighs. He crouched on his knees at the end of the bed breathing heavily, wiping his mouth on his forearm. 

Ada sat up to pull him to her and her vision whirled. “Ada,” he cradled her head in his hands as he pulled the pillow out from behind her, covered in blood from her freshly split scalp wound. 

“Oh,” she said meekly, “that would explain at least part of the dizziness.”

He tore the ruined pillowcase into strips of fabric. He wadded one of the strips up and placed it over her wound, then wrapped the other strips around her head, securing it tightly to stem the bleeding. 

Once he had finished tending to her, he leaned down brushing his thumb across her lips. He’s fond of that, she thought as she drew his thumb into her mouth and sucked gently, her tongue moving over it suggestively, looking up at him.

He groaned, but said, “I think we’ve had enough excitement for one night.”

“I owe you one,” she winked as she swayed a little.

He snorted. “A life-threatening injury or a blowjob?” She laughed, one of those deep belly laughs. “Dealer’s choice.”

“You’re delusional,” he said as he kissed her forehead and pushed her back on the bed. She threw her arm over her eyes. “I know…” 

Ben redressed and tossed Ada her nightclothes. They settled into the bed together, the fire in the furnace burning low, Ben curled around her. 

“This is a memory you can look at whenever you want,” he whispered. 

She smiled as she drifted off into a restful sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada finds her own version of restorative justice with Irlon. Jenuri and Ada have a heart-to-heart about Ben after Ada discovers a sinister plot.

She felt like bantha fodder, complete poo-doo. Her nightclothes clung to her sweaty skin, her head ached as soon as she opened her eyes to the morning light. Ben was already gone -

Ben. Had last night been a fever dream? She could have hallucinated the whole thing, right? Her hand flew up to her forehead, feeling the bandage he had put on after he…

After he made her cum with his mouth. 

Her mouth went dry and her stomach twisted in knots. She remembered everything. Every patch of skin he kissed…

Where was he? Did Luke know? Did someone hear them last night? She scrambled out of bed and pulled her tunic and robe over her nightclothes. She didn’t have time to get properly dressed - she needed to find him. 

She yanked the door open and, once more, ran smack into his solid chest.

Promptly, Ben turned her around and marched her back inside.

“Everything is fine,” he said. “Ada, it’s okay.”

“I thought Luke… I thought Master Skywalker found us.”

“I got up early,” he eyed the bandage that had scrunched her hair up, making her look like a deranged muffin. 

His lips pressed into a line, suppressing his mirth. “You look… hmm.”

“What?” she snapped, “Don’t wanna wake up to this every day?” Sarcasm, the best defense. She sat on the edge of the bed and began unwinding the bandage. 

“Careful,” Ben said as he held the wadded up fabric close to her scalp, in case it started bleeding again. “Lean forward,” she complied, closing her eyes as she examined her wound. “I don’t think you’re going to bleed out, in my professional medical opinion,” he said wryly. 

“Hmm,” she chuckled. A moment of silence, Ben carefully wrapping the bandage around his hand. 

Ada coughed lightly and said, “Last night… was…” She put her hand to her mouth and rubbed her chin. “It was real… right?”

“I think so,” that half-smile again. She remembered how his face lit up when he really smiled; he came alive. Not this stoic statue, as impervious as marble. 

“... and, you liked it?” she prodded.

He turned his face to hers, searching for something in her eyes… rejection? 

“I shouldn’t have, I don’t think. But… I’ve never known anything like it.”

Ada slid her thigh over his, positioning herself in his lap. “I fucking loved it,” she whispered against his lips before she kissed him - brutally. His hands on her back, moving lower, cupping her ass now… biting his lips, kissing his neck, feeling his cock harden against her. He tightened his grip, deepened his kiss.

He groaned against her mouth and broke away, “He’s coming,” he said gruffly as she threw herself to the floor and tossed Ben a pillow, which he clutched to his lap as Luke opened the door to the hut. 

He looked back and forth between the two, easily reading the room. His eyes narrowed. 

“Ben, out. Now.” Ben leapt of the bed and ran out of the hut faster than she had ever seen him move. He also took the pillow with him, she noted, trying not to laugh.

Luke slammed the door.

“Nothing happened,” she blurted. “I know what it looks like, but nothing happened.”

She surprised herself at how easily the lie slipped out of her mouth. She sounded so sincere, she almost believed herself. She buried all thoughts of Ben behind a thousand imaginary walls, making it impossible for Luke to pull anything out of her, if he tried.

His arms were still crossed, so she said, “He treated my wounds. My head started bleeding again. We had to sacrifice your pillowcase. Sorry,” she muttered the last word and hoped that her performance would pass muster. 

“You two are not to be alone again. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

He walked over to the desk and took a vial of some green, viscous liquid out of the drawers.

“Turn,” he said tersely, reminding her fiercely of his nephew. Thankfully, Luke didn’t see didn’t see her smirk.

“We’ll be searching for Irlon again today. Vade offered to stay and keep you company,” he said as he applied the salve to the wound. Skywalker turned back to the drawer and pulled out a needle and thread.

“Now that I can see it better, you definitely need stitches. The scalp tends to be prone to profuse bleeding.” 

He held the needle over the fire to sterilize it. She tried not to think about him stitching up her skin, so she worked to engage him in conversation.

“Where do you think Irlon is?”

“We’re going to search some of the lesser-known areas of the island. I’ve been meditating on it, and I think I know where he’s hiding.”

“I’ll still have a chance to confront him, right?”

“If you still want to, yes.”

Ada squared her shoulders. “Yes, I do.”

###

True to their word, the search party returned near sundown with their captive in tow; they had finally found Irlon.

Ada felt ambivalent about Irlon’s fate. He was dangerous, that much was obvious. But perhaps there was a better way than banishment.

She thought about her decision to face him as Skywalker accompanied her to his hut, where Irlon was detained.

They entered the hut, Luke standing protectively behind Ada. 

Irlon looked like he had roughed it for a couple days among the unforgiving elements. His skin was dry and cracked in places, a sunburn flared across his cheeks and nose. He was chained to the furnace, leaning his head back against Luke’s desk. 

As she observed him, his head lolled forward and he opened his eyes. Blue, like the waters of the surrounding ocean. They had looked like black pits the day he tried to kill her. 

“Why?”

“Why what?” he spat.

“You didn’t have to attempt to kill me just because you lost a bout.”

He scoffed, “Shows what you know.”

Ada focused on keeping her emotions in check. There was something else happening here, some sinister poison beneath the surface. She knew that if Skywalker let him go, he would only get worse.

“What are you going to do to me?” he taunted.

Ada straightened, pulling herself to her fullest height. She had considered her options thoroughly and his attitude sealed his fate.

“A rematch.”

Irlon blinked several times, as if trying to clear sand from his eyes. 

“What?” he asked, incredulous.

Ada strode over until she was standing directly in front of him, then crouched down, her face inches from his. Master Skywalker shifted uncomfortably behind her.

“A rematch,” she said, “With lightsabers.”

Luke pulled her outside the hut. “Have you completely lost your mind?”

“No, I haven’t,” she shot back.

“I want to duel him again. With lightsabers. If he wins, he stays. If I win… I’ll pick a punishment I find suitable.” Luke stood staring at her like she sprouted wings out of her head. “Simple,” she shrugged.

He rubbed a hand over his face, a frustrated groan escaping his lips. He said nothing as he unclipped his saber from his belt and held it out to her. She took it from him without hesitation. She examined the hilt; fine craftsmanship. Ada had dreamed of one day crafting her own saber, but she figured Luke Skywalker’s saber would be up to the task at hand. 

“Tell him I’ll be waiting in the arena.” Master Skywalker nodded and went to retrieve Irlon from the hut. She assumed he had a couple spare lightsabers lying around. If not, she guessed Irlon would have to make do with sticks. She smiled at the thought of him fending her off with a couple sticks as her lightsaber sliced through them.

She clutched Luke’s lightsaber in her hand as she shrugged off her robes. She settled into her ready position and ignited the saber.

The sound it made was thrilling, unmistakable. Nearby, her fellow Jedi heard the saber ignite and turned their heads toward her.

As she started her movements, focusing on her footing, she whirred the saber from one hand to another. It wasn’t at all like practicing with a staff. Its balance was completely different; the bulk of its weight in the hilt. Still, she carefully practiced her lunges, parries, attack formations, and defensive stances - the lightsaber slicing through the air, moving with her as easily is if it were an extension of her own body.

This was exhilarating. Ada couldn’t remember a time when she felt so… assured, at peace. With herself, with her enemy… she didn’t want to kill Irlon. She wanted to teach him a lesson. For whatever reason, he saw her and thought of her as someone he could hurt. 

She would see to it that he learned otherwise. 

Ada finished her sequence and looked up to see her friends watching her. They turned their heads as Irlon was marched to the arena, hands bound in front of him. 

Ada stowed Luke’s saber nodded at Skywalker, who released Irlon’s bonds. 

“Warm up,” she told him. Luke handed him another saber. Irlon looked around shiftily, noticing that they had an audience.

He took a deep breath and ignited it. He shrugged his shoulders, loosening the stiffness that had settled there. Irlon proceeded to complete his practice circuit, which still involved a lot of dodging and quick movements. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure standing on the cliff above her. Ben.

_Are you sure this is what you want?_

She nodded her head once. 

_Be merciless, then_ , Ben said. Ada turned to her opponent. “Ready,” she said.

“Ready,” Irlon grunted in reply.

“Shake hands,” Luke directed. Ada didn’t hesitate to hold her hand out. Irlon never took his eyes off hers as he shook her hand. 

Part of Ada hoped she would have been able to slip into his mind as easily as she had Ben’s, but no such luck there. They dropped hands and moved to opposite sides of the arena. 

She could feel Ben’s tension as he watched from above. _Don’t even think about it_ , she thought, _I am not your damsel and I do not need rescuing._

_Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart._

Ruffian, she thought sardonically as she cleared her mind and focused on whooping the shit out of the bastard standing in front of her. At the end of the day, he would only be left standing if she willed it. 

“Ready,” said Luke. They ignited their sabers; hers green, his blue. 

“Set.” Ada readied her saber in a two-handed grip while Irlon opted for a one handed grip to better prepare him for a potential Force attack.

“DUEL!”

The two launched into action, Ada Force-jumping and ricocheting herself off the cliff face, landing directly behind Irlon as he dashed forward in his attack.

Ada lunged at his back, wanting to catch him off-guard. He flung his arms overhead and blocked her attack as he dropped the saber behind his back. Irlon pivoted and advanced on Ada with a flurry of attacks that she managed to block. As she spun away from him she dashed forward with a parry and managed to singe his sleeve. 

He countered with a series of ferocious overhead blows, one of which she barely ducked out of the way in time.

Ada dropped to the ground and swung her leg at his ankle. She felt like this was becoming her signature move. She thought it would be predictable by now, but still, her leg connected with his and he fell onto his side.

In an instant, she was on him, hammering him with a vicious attack as he blocked her strikes from his prone position. 

Irlon used the Force to push himself up, through the air, landing on his feet with a more comfortable distance between himself and Ada. 

Not to be outdone, she slammed her foot on the ground, causing it to buckle, shoving Irlon forward as he stumbled, trying to keep his footing. 

Ada closed the distance quickly, saber held in front of her in attack position, ready to strike him down. She had a point to make. 

Irlon dodged to the side, avoiding her offensive attack. As she turned, he slammed into her with a vigorous Force attack; she somersaulted backward several times before getting to her feet, just in time to fling her lightsaber up to keep him from cutting her in half. Irlon pushed her back down onto one of her knees and she braced her left hand against her right in an effort to keep her saber from dropping.

The crowd had moved farther away as they skirted the outer limits of the arena. Ada and Irlon’s lightsabers clashed together as he punished her with all his strength, trying to crush her own lightsaber into her throat. Their teeth bared at one another, Ada focused her mind, letting the Force guide her as it would see fit. 

_He’s broken his ribs on his right side; they still pain him if hit hard enough._ Not the Force, this time, Ada smiled as she ground her lightsaber against Irlon’s, pushing his arms up to the left, his body stumbling backwards. Then she brought her elbow down into his ribs. She thought she felt something pop as Irlon screamed in agony. 

As he was bent double, Ada tossed her lightsaber to the side, grabbed his head with both hands, and slammed her knee into his face. 

He flung backward, stumbling, but not falling to the ground. Irlon saw her weaponless, and recognized this as his last chance. Blood pouring from his nose, he charged her. 

Ada hadn’t finished with him. The need for retribution that had built within her in the days he had gone missing was fueling her; the purple welts around her neck, her split scalp…

She raised a hand and casually flung him aside with the Force. She was one with it now. 

He tried to get up, and she slammed him back to the ground, grinding his face in the dirt. 

“Concede?” she asked him. He merely snarled at her, so she flicked her wrist and flung him to the other side of the arena. 

She waited for him to come to her. She knew he would. He was an idiot, but a stubborn one nonetheless.

And, like the Force predicted, he leapt through the air, landing behind her. She walked toward him and as he swung his saber down in an arc aimed to kill, she held her hand up and stopped him mid-attack. She held his saber in her Force grip - its light stuttering. Then she grabbed his wrist with her other hand and twisted his arm until his joint cracked. He screamed and dropped the saber. She kicked it out of the way and threw him back against a large rock.

There he lay - prone, defeated. But would he admit it? 

“Concede?” she asked again. He blew a spray of blood out of his nose and barred his blood-streaked teeth at her, breathing forcefully through his mouth, head lolling around on his shoulders. 

She wondered mildly if she would have to kill the stupid bastard before he admitted defeat.

So be it. 

She advanced. He held up a hand in a weak attempt to stop her. She felt his Force push bump into her shoulder. Ada swatted his hand away and grabbed him by the throat. He clawed at her wrist as her grip tightened.

“I might not be able to strangle you with my mind,” she growled, “but my hands are pretty strong.”

At last, Irlon managed to summon the Force with enough strength to push Ada away from him. He crawled on the ground and used his knee to push himself upright.

She shook her head. She’d had enough of his idiocy. She strode forward and punched him in the face with all the strength she could muster.

He collapsed heavily to the ground and didn’t move. Coupled with his other injuries, this last blow was the knockout he’d been asking for. She looked up at her enraptured audience. Jenuri was standing with her mouth hanging open, the others in similar states of awe.

She walked over and picked up a bucket of water. Carefully, so as not to spill any on the ground, she made her way back to Irlon and dumped it on him. He regained consciousness, spluttering and coughing.

Ada grabbed him by the front of his shirt and sat him up so he could look at her through the eye that wasn’t swollen.

“Can you see all your fellow Jedi? They just saw me best you in a fair fight. You tried to kill me, one of your own teammates, and most of them wouldn’t have blamed me in the slightest if I had killed you and nailed your balls to my door.”

She shook him to keep him awake. His eyes rolled around in his head but eventually found her face again.

“I’m going to let you live today, but you have a choice to make. You can convince everyone here that your attempt to murder me was a poor decision on your part, or you can out yourself as the bloodthirsty psychopath you are.

“Either way, you’re in my debt. And if you ever even think about hurting me again, I’ll fucking kill you and no one will blink an eye.”

Ada pushed him back down in the dirt, and held her hands out as the lightsabers flew into her outstretched hands. She approached Luke and held the sabers out to him. He scrutinized her, trying to sense something… broken, dark within her. 

“I never lost control,” she said. He nodded. “And him?” he asked.

She shrugged, “Probably needs an ice pack.” 

And she needed a bath. Sweat, dirt, and blood clung to her skin. She felt exhausted; a different kind of worn out. Ada didn’t want to think about the duel, she didn’t want to talk to or see anyone. After grabbing her toiletries bag from her hut, she went straight to the freshwater stream that pooled at the base of the mountain. 

The island was rocky, rather inhospitable, with very little in regard to vegetation, so Ada hadn’t dared try to heal her injuries. She had only ever self-healed on Isobe, where plants were numerous and she didn’t have to worry about sapping another person’s lifeforce.

Upon seeing the pristine pool of clear water, she felt a little weight lift from her shoulders. Whatever the consequences would be for her duel with Irlon, they didn’t matter right now.

She set her bag on the ground near the pool, and walked into the water fully-clothed. Her robes were filthy anyway, and she had no plans to return to the camp until they had dried.

The cool water lapped around her waist and she let out her breath in a long sigh. She sank deeper into the pool dunking her head under and letting the water turn her weightless.

She surfaced for air and stripped out of her robes, which she tossed onto the ground next to her bag. She’d wash them more thoroughly later. She floated in the water, simply staring up at the sky and letting her mind wander to other, easier times. 

She thought too, about home, Isobe. Had Krindi figured out how to recode the machines? Had the First Order attacked again? What about the spy the Resistance was tracking… the Senator of Arkanis…

Part of her hated being so far removed from everything and everyone. She missed her mother. And Cal…

She let herself sink to the bottom of the pool, wishing she could just stay there. _Maybe I can grow gills._

She was an adept swimmer; lung capacity being decent, she could hold her breath underwater for quite some time. _I’ll become the Lady of the Pool and Ben can come visit me sometimes…_

It was quiet and dark near the bottom, almost what she imagined being inside a womb would feel like. No wonder birth was traumatizing; having to leave your quiet sanctuary for the harsh, loud world…

Gradually, her thoughts quieted and she invited the Force to fill her in their absence. Reaching out for its wisdom…

“No,” a voice said, deep and reverberating, “it was foolish, Irlon. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“She’s a threat to our plan; to you especially,” Irlon? Plan? She could only assume the she being referred to was herself. Listen - the Force, quieting her - don’t analyze, just listen.

“Do you really not think Snoke doesn’t have his own plans for her?” the second voice seethed.

“How naive are you, Irlon, to think you know better than the Supreme Leader? I told you, she has a role in this.”

“I… you’re right. Of course. I won’t question you again.” Ada’s eyes flew open as she remembered she couldn’t actually breathe underwater. 

She shoved off the bottom of the pool, desperate for air. She broke through the surface of the water, sending ripples outward. She swam over to the ledge and pulled herself out of the water, waiting for it to calm once more. 

Who was talking to Irlon?, she asked the Force, although she already thought she knew the answer. Her reflection shimmered as a breeze passed over the surface over the water.

Ben. His face staring up at her where her reflection should have been. She felt something squeeze her heart; something dark gripping it, digging its cruel fingers in deeper. She put a hand through the water to dispel the image, as if erasing it would alleviate this deep feeling of unease. She reached for her crystal; it was like a talisman for her. It felt… different somehow. Ada looked down at it and noticed it was glowing faintly, almost pulsating with - what, light? - she wondered.

“Ada?” It was Jenuri. “Can I come down?”

“Yeah,” she said, without turning around. She dangled her feet off the ledge, water lapping at her calves. 

Ada reached over and grabbed her soap and sponge out of the bag, wetting the sponge and lathering it up. She started scrubbing herself down by the time Jenuri sat next to her. 

“You were… astounding today, Ada,” Jenuri said, awestruck, “I’ve never seen anything like that, aside from Master-level Jedi.”

“Master Luke is an excellent teacher.”

“Yes, he is, but you’re an excellent Jedi.”

“Thank you.”

A pause, and then Jenuri placed her hand on Ada’s soapy hand, “Are you okay? That was a lot to take in today. You must be feeling a lot right now. I’m here if you want to talk about it. If not, that’s okay, too.”

Jenuri was a lot of things, but she was also one of the most receptive and intuitive people Ada had ever met. Truly, when she said someone was feeling a certain way, she was hardly ever wrong. Ada remembered Jenuri’s interpretation of Ben. Coupled with what the Force had just shown her, Ada knew she would have to be more guarded.

“Why don’t you like Ben? The real reason,” Ada asked, blunt as always.

Jenuri’s head whipped around to look at her. She swallowed, obviously uncomfortable with this change of subject.

“I’m not asking you to tell me what I want to hear,” Ada said, “I want your truth. Please.”

“Did something happen?” Jenuri whispered, searching Ada’s eyes for any sign of trauma.

“No, not really,” Ada responded, rinsing her sponge. “I just… I value your input on this matter.”

Jenuri took a breath to collect herself; something she only did when she was completely out of her element.

“Do you ever just… see people? I mean,” she paused, struggling to describe her feelings, “really see people. Most people have an aura of sorts and - I don’t know - maybe I’m just more sensitive to peoples’ emotions than others.”

Ada nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“You have one - a beautiful violet, by the way. Vade, Car, Master Skywalker, even Irlon, everyone has one… but not Ben.”

Ada bit her bottom lip and slipped into the pool.

“It doesn’t make any sense to me at all,” Jenuri shook her head, “He’s... it’s like he’s so closed off even from himself that nothing can break through. I can only imagine how isolating that must be for someone…” she trailed off. 

“There’s just something he’s hiding, and it scares me; the thing he’s keeping locked up in his soul,” Jenuri said, “Maybe I was too quick to judge him based on my feelings, but I’ve learned the hard way to trust my intuition. And my intuition is telling me that he’s dangerous.”

“And Irlon?” Ada asked, trying to sound casual. She had to figure out how Irlon and Ben were connected.

Jenuri laughed, a pretty, tinkling sound, “Oh, Irlon… a vibrant orange, that one. Typical thrillseeker, reckless and impulsive. A liar too, but not a very good one.”

Ada had popped back out of the water and was laying on her back, eyes to the stars once again. 

“You suspect something,” Jenuri said. “I won’t press for specifics; you violets are protective over your thoughts until you’re certain you’re right,” she smiled. “Just be careful, Ada, please.”

Jenuri laid down next to Ada, stargazing with her. “I hope I’m wrong about Ben,” Jenuri whispered, “but someone who keeps himself locked away that tightly usually does it for a reason.”

Ada had much to consider. Was Ben tough to crack? Yes. She didn’t, however, get cold-blooded sociopath vibes from him, though; not like Irlon. She shivered thinking about his eyes - pupils blown so wide his eyes were black, cold. She had seen pictures of wolves that ran in packs on Zantel and she thought that’s what Irlon’s eyes had looked like. Just a predator out for blood. 

But Ben? Not a predator - but something just as cunning. He was hiding something toxic, she knew that. There was light there, too. She wondered sadly why he would want to hide the best parts of himself. 

Something - the Force, perhaps - was pushing her onward. She was being called to accelerate her training. The crystal glowed, and she knew its purpose.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada has a close encounter with the Dark side of the Force and has a vision of future sorrow.

“I need to return to Isobe,” Ada told Luke as she sat beside him during meditation. He opened an eye. “Mmm..”, he grumbled. Ada waited, settling into her position.

“For…?” he asked.

“I’m ready to create my lightsaber.”

“Are you, now?” He had opened both eyes and turned to look at her. 

“I believe so, Master.”

He nodded. “Yes, I think so, too,” and closed his eyes once more. 

“You may leave when Ben and Irlon return,” he instructed.

Skywalker sent Ben and Irlon away on a supply run. Ben seemed like the only one who could connect with Irlon, and Irlon could use some healthy distance from the rest of the Jedi.

“Yes, sir,” Ada said. She focused on staying centered, at not letting her feelings of elation bubble up to the surface.

 _Home_ , she thought. Mama, Krindi… the mountains, the lakes, the trees… she could see it all in her mind’s eye, as if she were there already.

She imagined she was meditating at the top of her mountain, setting sun warming her face, instead of the cold island sea spray.

At last, Ada opened her eyes. It was twilight and Luke had gone. 

Something was calling her home, and she was starting to feel anxious about how insistent the feeling had become. She looked to the stars and willed Ben to come back sooner rather than later. 

Sitting with her elbows on her thighs, she rubbed the crystal between her fingers, which was practically a constant habit now; hardly ever out of her hands. And it was still glowing, faintly.

Ada examined it, as she had countless times. The vaporous substance within whirled and twisted like the smoke of an extinguished candle. The substance itself glowed, like the bioluminescent organisms she sometimes saw on the tides around the island.

Beautiful.

“But why now?” she asked. The Force didn’t answer. She stood, trying to quell the apprehension that followed her like a shadow.

Ada didn’t return to camp. More and more often, she found herself wanting to be alone. Retreating inward.

 _What is happening to me?_ Frustrated, angry, distracted. She thought dueling Irlon would strengthen her resolve, her focus. 

She meandered along a well-trodden path amongst the boulder field, making her way to the ancient Brylark tree on a cliff on the east side of the island. This was one of her favorite spots, and farther away from camp. She was less likely to be disturbed here.

The Brylark tree was one of the few trees that seemed to flourish on this lonely island. It was comforting to be near something so resolute when she felt so diminished. She curled up against its roots and waited. For what, she didn’t know. But she had nowhere else to be. 

The rhythmic crashing of the waves upon the rocky shore lulled her into a doze, chin dipping to her chest as she fell deeper into sleep.

_Adaaaaa…_

“Mmm,” Ada groaned in her sleep and twitched a little. A dream, she concluded. The voice sounded far off. Just a dream.

The waves sounded louder. The roar became almost deafening in her dream.

_Ada._

Something whispered in her ear. She snapped upright, looking around for -

_Ada…_

Calling to her from below the cliff.

She pushed herself to her feet and couldn’t really tell if this was still a dream or…

or not.

As she neared the cliff’s edge, she dropped to her knees and peered over the edge. The full moon illuminated the shore below. 

Someone was there. Something, beckoning her down.

_Aaaaadddaaa_

Its words like the wind, twisting themselves in her hair, caressing her skin…

Was she to resist its siren call? Or follow it into… the cave. She had never seen it before. How could she not have known it was here? One of the other Jedi would have told her about it, surely.

Unless it was meant for her. Only showing itself to her.

She had to confront this thing, whatever it was. She began climbing down the cliff face, which in any other scenario would have been perilous. But it was like her path down created itself. 

Ada dropped from a low ledge and stared up at the mouth of the cave - no larger than a crack in the rockface. 

Ada understood, now, why she had never spotted this cave before. At high tide, it would have been completely submerged by the sea.

She took a steadying breath, still not totally confident that this was real. Then she pulled herself into the hole.

The narrow passage was slimy and smelled like… like decay. Like something that had been rotting in the dark.

She concentrated on her steps, angling herself sideways, reaching forward, praying that the passage would widen, her face inches from its oozing walls.

The more she tried to breathe, the more that fetid stench filled her mouth, her nose. It was all she could do to keep from gagging.

Barely keeping panic at bay, she took another step and fell forward as the passage opened into a large chamber of the cave. 

_Adaaa_ , the voice reverberated off the rock, bouncing around so it sounded like it was coming from all directions, surrounding her, converging on her. She spun around, certain there would be some horrific specter behind her.

Nothing. She was alone.

She stepped further into the chamber, her breath ragged. 

“What do you want from me?” she whispered into the void.

“Come,” it whispered back. She looked to her right. Another tunnel.

She crawled on her hands and knees, feeling like she was beating eaten alive by some nightmarish beast. Thankfully, this passage was shorter than the last. She stood and shook slime from her hands. Ada looked up and saw thousands -millions- of stars…

“Stars or glow worms?” she asked the void.

“Do you like them?” it hissed.

“Yes,” she whispered. She looked down. More stars. Which way was up? Down?

Water, she realized. Still as glass.

“Show me.”

It had called her here for a reason. Not the Force; something else. It scared her, but it also promised her answers --

 _LIES!_ \-- another voice; from where? Ada looked over her shoulder. The tunnel was gone, replaced by…

a door? On an Imperial starship… _I have completely lost my mind_ , she mused.

She turned back to the pool - _the mirror?_

She leaned over the edge, seeing the stars ( _glow worms?_ ) in the reflection, but not her face. That wasn’t right…

“Ada.”

Mama? It sounded like her mother… or sounded like something imitating like her mother…

“Ada, ever since you were little, I knew you were destined for something greater,” the specter whispered to her, its breath a breeze caressing her face, a facsimile of some of the last words her mother said to her before she left to become a Jedi.

She hated this thing, but she wanted… more. The water rippled from its depths, thick and viscous, like mercury. Great droplets of the substance gathered in front of her, undulating until it was a smooth surface.

“Show me,” she asked.

A shadowy figure walked toward her, like it was made out of smoke ( _vapor, her crystal_ ).

Ada touched the surface of the mirror; it rippled and the smoke cleared.

There she was, reflected. But the room was different - where was she? She was on her knees in the room - the room she saw in Ben’s mind. But this wasn’t Ben’s memory; it was hers.

“No!” Ada shouted as she reached out and her hand went through the mirror - like it wasn’t even really there… like smoke...

Ada held her breath and walked through the mirror, into the room. Into the mouth of the beast. 

On her knees…

“Do you want to save him?” She didn’t dare look at the thing speaking to her. It hurt her, the last time. Pain making her contort, her mouth stretched in a silent scream, and her nerves were lit on fire.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Then you know what you must do.”

The floor fell out from under her and plummeted toward the… what?

Blackness. Then, firelight.

Camp? Yes, but… smoke. Burning flesh. Rain, thunder, lightning. She held a lightsaber in her hand. Blue blade. Ben’s?

The camp had turned to rubble. Skywalker had turned on her. Never trusted her in the first place. He saw her for what she really was after her duel with Irlon… Irlon, a useless pawn. 

Ada remembered what it felt like to hold his life in her hands and wished she had killed him that day. Fulfilled her destiny in that moment. 

Crushed her enemy with her power. Like she crushed this camp, like she crushed the last of the Jedi. 

Someone ran toward her, shouting. She tossed them aside. No one, nothing else mattered any more. Nothing would stop her now. The power fed on itself, a snake consuming its own tail. Where did she end, and it began? 

_It doesn’t matter._

So freeing. She felt so clear, one path in front of her. She would obliterate any obstacle that occluded that path.

First, she needed off this island. Skywalker’s X-wing? Too identifiable. The shuttle? Yes.

Another foe in front of her. This one she knew. Jenuri. A small wrench to her gut. She had liked Jenuri once. But there were more important things at stake, now.

_“Like what?”_

_don’t ask questions just do as you’re told_ , the specter hissed in an unceasing stream.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” The words came out of her mouth, but she wasn’t the one who said them. She turned to Jenuri, the hair on the left side of her singed. Cutting her down was so easy; Ada killed her and Jenuri turned to vapor ( _smoke from an extinguished candle_ ).

Nothing else now. 

“Ada!”

Of course - Ben. Why couldn’t he just let her go? There was nothing left of her for him. Not now. Not after what she had done. Nothing left.

_you know what you have to do, Ada._

“I know.”

_STRIKE HIM DOWN_

“I will.”

“Ada,” Ben said, tears in his eyes. She didn’t comprehend the scene around her. There were cliffs behind both of them. That didn’t make sense. There was only one cliff face near the camp; it was like she was looking at…

a mirror image. 

“Don’t do this,” he begged, words choking as he struggled with his emotions. Tears streaked his face. 

_he doesn’t love you. he only wants you for the power you give him._

“You don’t love me,” she said, a mimicry of the specter. Its tentacles were worming their way deeper into her mind; she could feel them. 

“Yes, I do. Please,” he took a step toward her, “please, Ada, don’t do this. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

A sharp sting as another memory from another time surfaced briefly. Coruscant, after their first kiss…

_“Ben,” she said softly. He slowed his walk and eventually stopped. Ada walked over to him,_

_“It doesn’t have to be like this,” Ada said._

_“Doesn’t it, though?” Ben asked._

_Doesn’t it, though?_

_..._

_Doesn’t it?_

“No, it doesn’t,” Ada blinked, swallowing her dread. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”

Something strange was happening. The lightning, like a strobe light… Ben’s face started flickering - his face for a split second, then Ada’s, then his again…

 _Wh-what?_ “What is happening?” she screamed. Ada looked down at her hands - Ben’s hands? Hers?

More flickering - Ada or Ben? Alive or dead?

Ben walked toward her (the reflection, the mirror?) and, like a puppet on his string, she too walked forward.

He reached for her face, she reached for his, touching tenderly.

In unison, they whispered to each other, a parting caress,

_“It was always supposed to be me.”_

They Force-pushed each other away, an explosion of raw energy, and off the identical cliff behind them. 

Ada (Ben?) fell into nothingness.

Lightning briefly illuminating the rolling tidal waves, washing over her, into blackness.

The current pulling her to and fro. Where was she?

In the cave. The tide was coming in. Where was --

_the way out?_

Doors lined the walls of the cave. One that looked like the door to her hut, another that looked like the door to her mother’s house, others she had never seen before.

Ada fought against the sloshing water that was quickly filling the cavern. _Which way??_ she begged. _Think!_

The door to the Imperial starship. That was the one. 

She swam over to it, only a few more inches of breathable air left… Ada shoved down on the handle and the door swung inward.

She was sucked through the passageway along with a river of water that crashed through the halls of… a destroyer - 

_The Finalizer?_

There was no keeping her panic at bay now. She needed to get out of here. Panting, trying not to hyperventilate, she grabbed onto the corner of a doorway as the water tried to force her father down the hall…

 _Please, please just let this nightmare end…_ she thought miserably, desperate for the final act in this hellscape.

The water rushed past her feet as the doors opened.

Another room. A lone figure, clad in black, hunched over… ( _a mask_ ). It didn’t feel… human. It didn’t feel alive - a shell, only a vessel for something... 

And behind the figure, a wall of skulls. Countless, human and otherwise. The shelves of skulls rose into eternity, the room cavernous, the ceiling as high as the stars... 

Ada was sucking air into lungs now, the oxygen having no impact on helping her mind comprehend what she was seeing. 

“No,” she screamed, “No no no nononono!” The figure, the creature, laughed a thousand malevolent laughs, all of them echoing through the room.

“Your fate is among the stars, Ada,” the creature laughed, “and you’ll never escape your destiny.” 

The stars, she thought as she looked up at the ceiling once more. _Stars or glow worms?_

As if the ceiling caved in, an ocean of water dropped on her, filling her ears with its mighty roar, flipping her over and over and over.

_Which way?_

_Up, toward the stars._

She opened her eyes and peered around, searching for the pinpricks of light. 

_Yes, there!_ She swam hard toward the glow worms ( _stars?_ ), kicking her legs frantically, her arms pulling herself toward the surface. 

She was so close now, and as she neared the surface of the water, it looked… like a mirror. She saw her reflection swimming toward her, hand outstretched, reaching for air; black tendrils of pure darkness pulling at her heels…

Would reflection-Ada let them drag her back into their inky depths?

Ada didn’t pause to find out as her face broke through the surface of the water.

She sucked in a long breath of air as the waves bucked around her, the current pulling her toward shore ( _toward the cave?_ ).

No, she would never go near that place ever again. She dragged herself onto a rock as her chest heaved from exertion.

She felt for her crystal… it wasn’t around her neck

“NO!” she screamed. _Where--??_

 _No_ , her voice sounded small in her mind. 

“Oh, please, no…” Ada let out an anguished wail having lost the one thing that… that had, what? 

Connected her to the Force? That wasn’t true. Connected her to her father? 

An unnecessary attachment, a weakness?

Perhaps she hadn’t been deserving of the crystal. Perhaps, she’d find it if she just went back to the cave.

“No.” She was never going back in there. Ever. The cave could keep her crystal.

She sniffed. There had to be another way. A way that didn’t involve what the cave showed her.

By the time she climbed back up the cliff, she was drained. The Brylark tree stood, like a sentinel, in front of her. She dragged herself back to its roots, resting.

“What am I to do?” she asked the universe, heart breaking for herself, for Ben, for everyone who would be hurt when the First Order rose. She knew it was inevitable now, and one way or another, she would have a part in its ascension.

She woke with the sunrise, curled around the roots of the Brylark tree. It seemed like she had burrowed into them during the night, the impervious bark of the tree protecting her from the evil that lurked below. 

She sat up and rubbed at her face; it felt puffy and raw from the salt water. Ada crawled out of the roots and sat back on her heels. She hadn’t remembered a time when she felt less hopeless, like her life wasn’t her own. Predestined.

“What fucking bullshit,” she muttered angrily. Who was it that she had talked to in that dark room - the person Ben was talking to. No, the person who was manipulating Ben. 

“I have to stop this,” she said, “Force help me, I have to stop this, somehow.”

She slammed her fists on the ground before turning her face toward the sun. 

“Guide me through the Light.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Ada deepen their connection and discuss a very uncomfortable truth about Ben's future with Snoke and Ada's role in helping him rise.

Ada reached camp by mid-morning. Vade was tending the fire and cooking breakfast when Ada plopped herself down on a log.

“Oh my stars! Ada, where have you been? Master Skywalker has been looking for you all night!” Vade pressed.

Ada looked at her, her expression discouraging further lines of inquiry. There were twigs and leaves sticking out of her hair, which was crusted with dried salt water. Her skin was dry and red and itchy, and she was fully and totally worn out.

“Eggs, please,” Ada rasped, not really hungry, but knowing she needed to eat something. 

Vade set to work on preparing her a breakfast of eggs, a ration of bacon, and a very strong cup of caf.

“Thank you,” Ada said. Vade just put her hand on Ada’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“Everyone should be back soon. They’ve been looking for you.”

Ada just nodded. She didn’t think it was possible to feel worse than she did, but knowing that everyone had probably been out all night looking for her… 

Ada sighed. She could use a drink. She’d never really had alcohol other than the occasional sip here and there, but sometimes, a girl just needed a crutch. 

She was hoping to polish off her breakfast and crawl into bed before anyone arrived back at camp, but she heard voices on the bluff before she had finished her caf.

She laughed darkly, no rest for the wicked, she thought.

Jenuri, Morgares, and Hezza - she was getting better at recognizing their Force signatures. 

“Vade, is there more caf?” Vade poured her another cup. “Thanks,” Ada said.

“I went ahead and put on another pot. You look like you need it.”

Ada snorted over her mug as she blew on it to cool the drink. 

Jenuri, of course, was beside herself when she saw Ada sitting on the log, looking considerably worse for wear.

“I’m alright, Jenuri, I promise,” Ada tried to assure her friend as she fussed over her.

“I was just so scared for you. We were all worried sick. Ben was absolutely inconsolable,” Jenuri said as she picked a leaf from Ada’s hair.

“Ben?” Ada’s head whipped around at the sound of his name.

“Yes, he and Irlon returned last night to quite a scene with you having gone AWOL.”

Ada stood and wrapped her arms around Jenuri. “Oh- Oh,” Jenuri was taken aback; Ada wasn’t really a ‘hugger’.

“You’re my best friend, Jenuri. I love you more than you could ever know and I’m sorry I worried you,” Ada said, voice strained as she fought against tears.

She remembered the cave… killing Jenuri like she meant nothing. 

“Oh, Ada…” Jenuri gave her a big squeeze and rocked her back and forth a bit. “Darling, what’s happened?”

“I… I honestly can’t explain it,” Ada sagged against her and cried into her shoulder. Words utterly escaped her as Jenuri led her back to their hut and tucked her into bed. 

“You need to rest,” Jenuri said, “Shh, everything will be okay.”

Ada closed her eyes and wanted, more than anything, for Jenuri to be right. 

###

“I need to see her.”

“It’s late, and she needs rest. There’s nothing you can do for her.”

“Jenuri. Please.”

…

A sigh.

“Fine. But don’t you dare wake her up. She isn’t well and she doesn’t need any… excitement.”

A door opened, then closed, quietly. 

Ben.

Jenuri said he didn’t have an aura. But she felt him when he was near, even when she was semi-conscious. What was that?

She dipped back into the realm of sleep, not quite ready to resurface to the world of the living. He felt her drift back into sleep, and eased his way into her mind.

The air smelled like him; like sweat and leather. She had missed him. His hands running up and down her body, setting off little explosions under her skin. 

To him, she felt like… a conduit; setting his soul aflame with an almost-desperate need. He had missed her - no, he craved her. He only felt alive around her… different than when he gave himself to the Dark side.

A dangerous attachment, but one he wanted, nonetheless. A raw, uncut desire. Flawed, but priceless. 

She moaned beneath his hands. 

‘Ben, please,’ she mewled. How could he deny her what she needed to -

_keep her_

_save him_

What had she seen? What did she know?

She was spread for him on his bed ( _where?_ ), panting in need.

Her eyes burned into his; she reached for him. 

He dragged his fingers along her inner thighs, spreading her farther apart. She moaned in anticipation.

“Yes,” she whispered. 

His breath was rough now, anticipation coursing through him.

His fingers brushed her pussy, already wet for him; her legs twitched.

He circled around her clit, back down to the base of her cunt, dipping his fingers inside her. Her back arched as she bit her lip. He traced his fingers over her mound, stroking the hood of her clit over and over again, her moans becoming more insistent, fueling his desire. 

As he fingered her, he started stroking himself. Fuck, he had missed her.

‘Touch me,’ he commanded, and she reached her hand out and started stroking him, her need driving her pace. In turn, he quickened his pace as his fingers caressed her faster.

‘Just like that,’ she said, ‘Don’t stop.’ She held his cock in her hand as she came against him, quivering and twitching under his touch. The power he had over her was intoxicating, addictive.

He moved himself between her legs, rubbing himself against her wetness. She clutched his forearm and positioned her hips to make his entrance easier…

The head of his cock teasing her slit… he was the one panting now. 

Slowly, he pushed himself inside her. She sighed at finally getting what she wanted. He groaned and bucked his hips against her, filling her. He held onto her knees as he fucked her, pumping himself in and out of her, roughly. He could barely hear her moans over his heartbeat in his ears, the blinding pleasure building within him...

She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled herself up to kiss him, wrapping her arms around her neck, entangling her fingers in his hair, pulling gently. Pressing her forehead to his.

‘Fuck, Ben,’ she whimpered. 

‘I missed you,’ he hissed between his teeth. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was easier to tell her the truth… vulnerable as he was.

‘I know you did… I was busy while you were away.’

‘Mmm,’ a muffled reply into her neck.

‘I learned that I have to kill you,’ she moaned into his ear, so intimate, so personal.

He pushed her back down onto the bed -- the cave, darkness, the voice (the void, the specter), her reflection in the mirror, falling through it, facing off with her, one killing the other, falling… raging waves, blackness, cloaked figure, skulls, stars… her mortal terror, her determination… to absolve him of his sins. 

She’s already chosen, he thought, she won’t be the one to kill me. It wasn’t relief he felt, but resignation. 

He knew what he had to do now. She made her choice, and in doing so, sealed both their fates. He wasn’t angry with her; he knew there was no winning.

Snoke was jubilant. Either way, he was triumphant.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Ada said, awake now. He had revealed more to her than he had meant to.

###

“Who is Snoke?” she demanded.

“No one,” he replied tersely. “Nothing. A figment of your imagination.”

“And a figment of yours as well, I suppose?” How stupid did he think she was? “What I saw in the cave, those were your memories… and mine. How is that possible?”

Ben leaned back in his chair, his face in shadow. Snoke had devious methods of finding information, breaking into his victims’ minds. Ben thought he had been strong enough to protect her from Snoke. He had been wrong. Snoke always got what he wanted, one way or another. 

Snoke had pried her out of Ben’s mind, visions of her power as she brawled with Irlon. He hadn’t made the best accomplice, thus far. Too impulsive, obviously, given the snap decision Irlon had made to eliminate Ada after sensing her power rather than heed Ben’s advice to monitor her. 

Ben hadn’t wanted Snoke to know about Ada, her power, and his attachment to her. He wanted to keep her safe, but he also didn’t want her to threaten his chances of apprenticeship with Snoke.

Because, in many ways, she was far stronger than he. Ada contained so much potential; Ben knew it, and now, so did Snoke.

Ben rubbed his face as he thought about Ada being the one to take Snoke’s punishments instead of him. Enduring the agony, the desolation of the soul… sacrifices worthy of the power and control and order bestowed in return. 

Ada could handle those sacrifices, the consequences of disobeying, and the all-consuming strength that came with it. She could master the Dark side of the Force and become an ally to the new Empire.

But she wouldn’t. She saw what it offered, what it required of her, and she refused.

When the time came, she would die at his hands. And that would be the beginning of the end of Ben Solo.

Ben Solo… with no one else to turn to and nowhere left to go. How could he follow in the footsteps of misguided heroes, his parents? Live down the infamous legend of his ancestry… or live up to it? Was he strong enough, capable enough to subsume his grandfather’s role? Snoke believed it, pushed him to greater heights, like no one else had done. 

“Ben,” she said, pulling him out of his reverie. He was sure she had sensed at least some of his thoughts and feelings; his doubts and misgivings. “We can leave,” she continued, “We can run where Snoke can’t find us.”

He smiled sardonically at that. Naive. “There is no corner of this galaxy that Snoke wouldn’t find us, eventually.”

“Come away with me. Come with me to Isobe; there’s more to the Force than the Jedi and Sith can possibly know. I can show you.” She thought about her ability to heal, to fuel life with a touch of her hands. 

“You’re prolonging the inevitable,” he said, resolute. She despised the finality in his tone.

“So what? Why can’t we - why can’t we just be together while we have time?” She would not cry, would not break now.

“One of us has to die,” he said quietly.

“Or both of us.”

He straightened at that thought. Both of them dead? A hitch in the plans, certainly, but Snoke would always find a way. Defeat was never an option for him, for the First Order, or for Ben. 

Ada hated the thought of it; that their lives were never meant for them to live, but an essential mechanism in an enormous machine; cogs that could be replaced, if need be. The only reason she lived was to die… for Ben to become whatever he was supposed to be, for the Empire to rise again despite the best efforts of the Resistance and the Jedi. 

What was the point? He might as well just kill her now. 

“Not yet,” he said, answering her tacit question, “I can’t kill you, yet.”

A dark burst of laughter erupted from her as she pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes, trying to squash the tears that started pooling.

He pulled her hands from her eyes, “Ada…” How to tell her? How did he tell her she meant more to him than what her death symbolized, and what it would bring him. “I hate the thought of you dying. It… terrifies me. But, if I don’t - fulfill my destiny, he will find you. And Snoke… Snoke is ruthless. He wouldn’t let you have any easy death.”

He’s promising me mercy. She couldn’t believe this conversation was actually happening.

“What if I kill myself before you can?

“Snoke will find another way to see his plan to fruition. And your death would be utterly meaningless.”

“You know I won’t just let this happen, right? If you’re going to kill me, you’ll have to earn it.”

“It’s not something I’m looking forward to.”

He saw her mind working, trying to find a path that Snoke hadn’t already discovered. “What if I kill you, but don’t turn?”

“To kill me is to pledge yourself to the Dark side. It’s not what you want.”

Ada jumped to her feet, enraged. “How can you just accept this?” she hissed, trying not to wake anyone else.

“I’ve had a long time to understand which battles are worth fighting.”

“And this isn’t one of them?” she asked incredulously. “Ben, this is about our lives, the lives of the people we love, the places we love…” Her tears fell unburdened now. “None of that means anything to you? Truly?”

“You do. You mean something to me.”

“So you and Snoke can exploit it?” her voice trembled, emotions overcoming her. She pressed her hand against her mouth to stifle her agony. 

Ben moved to her, and, uncharacteristically, pulled her into a hug. Fully weeping into the front of his robes she said, “I don’t want this. Any of it.”

“Any of it?”

“I guess that’s not true,” she sniffed, “I want Ben Solo.”

“You have me,” he said, tilting her face toward his.

“But not forever.”

“No,” he said sadly, desperately battling his own emotions, “not forever.”

He leaned down, kissing her lips, her salty tears. Moonlight through the window illuminated her face and he brushed her hair behind her ear. 

Her hand slid behind his neck as she pulled him down toward her, standing on her tip-toes to reach his mouth with hers. 

She held his face in her hands, looking back and forth between his eyes. She sensed a desperate want, a seething need for a moment of absolution. He sought her forgiveness for his future transgressions; yearning for a companion for this journey through purgatory. 

Ada kissed him again, imbuing it with all the heartache she felt. Ben returned her embrace feverishly, dark eyes shining with overwrought emotion. 

Her hands wandered down and undid the front of his robes, working them off his shoulders and pooling them at his feet. 

Another kiss planted on his lips as her fingers played with the hem of his tunic, lifting it up; he pulled it over his head and discarded it with his robes. 

Her breath hitched in her throat. “I’ll never get enough of this,” she whispered as her fingers trailed over his chest, down his stomach, to the top of his pants. She placed kisses along his collarbone, his neck as she tugged his belt loose. 

Slowly, she undid a button on his pants as she nipped at the skin on his neck. He moved to unbutton his pants the rest of the way, but she pushed his hand back to his side.

“Let me have this,” she purred. She stroked his stiffening cock through his pants, palming it as he moaned into her. She caressed him, feeling him harden against her. Unsure if he should touch her, Ben balled his fists at his side, sucking a breath between his teeth, eyes closing, head tilting backward ever so slightly.

Teasing him, she popped another button open, then another, pulling them off his hips. Only his boxer briefs, now, his cock straining against the fabric. She wanted him now, naked in front of her. His eyes like liquid black obsidian, urging her on. She wrapped her arms around his and grabbed an asscheek in both of her hands, squeezing them. She kissed him deeply once more before hooking her fingers beneath the band of his underwear, carefully navigating them over his erection, and pushing them down his thighs.

He sighed as she took a step back and took him in. Fucking stunning. Dark hair and pale skin contrasted one another so beautifully, his chiseled muscles seem to draw her eyes downward. She’d been right; he was incredibly well-endowed. She had felt him through his clothes, but seeing his arousal on display did unspeakable things to her. 

Ada bit her bottom lip and captured his gaze. She started removing her own robes; he moved forward to lend an assist but she held him still with a Force grab.

“Oh, that’s what we’re doing now, is it?” he murmured. She smiled demurely as she stood in front of him and slowly stripped her shirt off. Tunics were difficult to take off in a sexy manner, she realized. His eyes traveled to her breasts and lingered there.

“Do you want to touch them?” 

“Yes,” he said throatily.

“Hmm…” she bit her lip again as she palmed her breasts, pinching her nipples so they stiffened. 

“Tease,” he moaned. She gasped in mock surprise. “Me?” she said as she undid her own belt and began wiggling out of her pants. She turned around so he had a nice view of her ass as she moved them down over her hips.

Now, clad only in her underwear, she moved around his immobile form, tracing her hand on his abs, his hips, around his back. She faced him again and ran a finger up the underside of his cock. 

“I want his inside of me,” she growled, his cock twitching in her hand. She kissed his chest, her tongue circling his nipple as she stroked him, slowly. Ben was moaning, straining against his invisible bonds. 

His breathing quickened when she dropped to her knees in front of him. “Holy mother of Kriff,” he breathed, jittery with anticipation. 

She wetted her lips before taking him into her mouth, lips tightening around the tip. His eyelids fluttered shut as his head tipped back. She took him in further, the sheer size of him forcing her mouth open wider. Her tongue caressed the underside of his cock, swirling around the head as she fucked him with her mouth. 

Ben was watching her now, breathing through his nose as she pushed him completely into her mouth; she gagged on his length and pulled back, continuing her ministrations before taking him out of her mouth with a pop. 

She stood and released him from her Force grip. His breathing was ragged as he gained control of his functions again. He strode over to her and threw her on the bed, desire dictating his every move. He straddled her legs and ripped her underwear off her. She gasped as she heard the material tear; he stifled her shock with a fiery kiss. His hands roamed over her body. Caressing, kneading her sensitive parts until she felt that familiar heat ignite within in.

His hand dipped between her thighs, sliding his fingers into her wetness, circling her opening, stroking her sex, making her even wetter. She gripped his hips with her thighs, pulling him toward her. 

“Are you sure,” he whispered as he held himself above her. 

“Yes. Are you?” 

He leaned down, “Yes.” 

He aligned himself with her entrance and eased inside her, deliciously slow. “Mmm,” she moaned, thrilled with how tight she felt around him. His hand tightened in her hair while the fingers of his other hand kneaded her breast as he slid inside her completely, filling her. 

He moved his hips against hers, the rhythm stoking that flame at her core. Her gasps turned into moans of pleasure, a greedy pressure building. His pace quickened and she dug her fingernails into the skin on his back as his cock pummelled her toward rapture - hitting that perfect spot over and over again.

“Mmm, yes, harder… Oh - just like that. Don’t stop, don’t stop,” she mewled. She could feel her slickness on her thighs, relishing what he did to her, the ways he made her feel. She felt so full, ready to burst, chasing her release. It built and built, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust.

Her mind went blank as a tidal wave of pleasure washed over her, back arching against the mattress, her body feeling electrified as she came.

No reprieve; his rhythm didn’t falter. He leaned back, fucking her at a different angle as he sank deeper into her. 

She threw an arm over her mouth and bit down on the flesh of her forearm to keep from screaming. Her body couldn’t decide if she felt pain or pleasure, or some strange mixture of both. 

His body positioned more upright now, she reached down and rubbed her clit, the sensation nearly sending her over the edge. “Ben,” she gasped his name, touching herself as he fucked her, her legs quaking, so nearly there…

She was tight around him, slick and hot. He wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer, he thought as he felt her spasm around his cock, moaning his name over and over as she came once more. 

“Ahh” he gritted between his teeth, “Fuck.” He pulled out of her and stroked himself before spilling his seed on her stomach. He dug his fingers into her thigh as she watched him come, his body tensing, cock throbbing in his hand, chest heaving. He collapsed over her, breathing as though he had just sprinted a mile.

She pushed his sweaty hair out of his face and kissed him. For the briefest moment, she saw happiness return to his eyes. Because just for a while, they could forget that they were meant to destroy each other. He smoothed the hair against her forehead, kissing her there. “You’ll always be with me,” he whispered against her skin.

“Always,” she promised.

###

“I’m impressed,” she said, her head lying on his chest. 

He chuckled. “That was… a new experience for me,” he twirled a strand of her hair absently around his fingers.

She lifted her head slightly to try to see his expression. 

_A new experience?_ Ada mused. Surely he couldn’t mean that he’d never… She’d never considered the possibility that he hadn’t slept with anyone before. She searched his feelings, seeking a little clarity on the matter.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

Ben looked slightly sheepish. "It didn't seem important at the time," he said.

Ada was at a loss at what to say. On Isobe, lust, romance, and sex were just things that happened naturally when two people were attracted to one another. It wasn't necessarily something everyone discussed over dinner, but having sex wasn't considered a rite of passage; it just _happened_. However, Ada had learned that not everyone saw it that way; Jenuri and Ross, for example, considered it something almost sacred. Ada had felt like a complete outsider when they talked about their past relationships. 

"How do you feel?" she asked him, still not really knowing how to address the fact that she'd been his first experience.

Ben looked at her quizzically. "Um, well, kind of lightheaded. But I feel... content with you. Not just now, but whenever I'm with you."

Ada smiled and put a hand on his chest. "Good," she said, "That's how it should be."

"You, uh -" Ben stumbled over his words and cleared his throat, "You seem... more comfortable with... intimacy than most others."

Ada pressed her lips together to keep from giggling. "Are you asking me if I've had sex with other people?"

Ben gave her an awkward non-committal shrug and focused on playing with a strand of her hair.

"Hey," Ada said softly, drawing his gaze back to her eyes, "You know you can always ask me anything and I will always be honest with you." She paused, wanting to make sure he actually wanted an answer. When he didn't change the subject, she said, "I've been with one other man when I lived on Isobe. It just was never something I considered to be worth making a fuss over, you know? It was fun and it was special, and he was sweet and thoughtful - a good partner. But it was a purely physical thing; nothing more."

Ben nodded and turned so his face nuzzled her neck. He breathed deeply and rested his chin on her shoulder. 

“Are you happy?” he murmured. 

Ada sighed, wishing the morning wouldn’t come and she wouldn’t have to face their bleak future. “I am.”

They were quiet for a while, and she started to drift off. “Your necklace is gone,” Ben remarked. 

“I lost it in that fucking cave,” she muttered.

“The Dark side has ways of taking pieces of you,” he whispered, “until, before you realize it, there’s nothing left.”

Ada burrowed herself closer to his side. “That necklace was a gift from my father. I don’t think I deserved to keep it.” She could only hope that it would make its way into worthy hands. 

###

She woke to Ben getting dressed, the sun beginning to rise. A new dawn, a new day. Ada dreaded it. 

She sat up on the edge of the bed, reaching down and pulling her tunic over her head. Her hair looked like a Burundi bird’s nest; twigs and bits of leaves still stuck in her tangles, parts of it matted by the dried sea water.

“Ugh,” she groaned as she tried to pull her fingers through it. Ben chuckled as he fastened his robes around his waist. She blew a stream of air out of her mouth.

“I was going to use my crystal to make a lightsaber,” she said. “Now, though, I don’t even know where to begin.” 

“I can help you,” Ben said. 

Ben had asked her to meet him at sundown down at the tidepools. She watched him for a moment, his pant legs rolled up to his knees, crouched on a rock above the pool, poking at a starfish or sea anemone with a short stick. 

“Will you leave that poor thing alone?” she told him as she approached. He tossed the stick away and turned toward her, leaving the tidepools and clambering up the rocks to sit next to her. 

He held her hand, palm up, and placed a small object in it. 

A crystal…

Her eyes widened. “Is this… a kyber?”

“It’s synthetic, but it’ll get the job done.” 

“How will I charge it?”

“The same way you would a natural crystal. Be wary though, synthcrystals have a reputation for being a little… unstable.”

She grew stern. “Is this thing gonna blow up in my face or something? Because if that’s the case, I think I’ll pass.” She tried to press the crystal back into Ben’s hand. But he grinned and batted her hand away.

“You can handle it,” he said. 

The next day, they sat together in Ben’s hut, the crystal laying on his nightstand while she started assembling the components of her lightsaber. It was time for her to have a weapon. In her visions, she hadn’t fought Ben without one. 

She was focused on soldering the activator to the emitter matrix, being careful to ensure it was calibrated precisely. She really didn’t want to turn this thing into a bomb by blowing a circuit or bypassing the energy gate… 

Ben was helping craft the casing. Ada had collected the bones of Cartusian whales that washed on shore occasionally and hoped that they would help give her saber added structure; she requested he include a hilt to keep her hand from slipping down too low on the grip. 

The rest of the hilt would be carved from the wood of the Brylark tree… she felt a strong affinity with it ever since her journey into the cave and hoped it wouldn’t mind if she wanted to keep a piece of it with her. 

Ben’s craftsmanship was impressive. He gave thought to every little detail and used a special knife to carve the design. When he was finished, he handed it over to her for her to inspect.

“This is really beautiful, Ben,” she said, turning the hilt over in her hands. The whale bone complimented the Brylark wood nicely. And on the bottom of the hilt, Ben had carved their initials in a heart, like a lovesick teenager. 

Ada snorted when she saw it and rolled her eyes. He had the strangest sense of humor sometimes. He chuckled and she leaned over and planted a loud kiss on his cheek.

“Okay, okay,” he pushed her off, laughing. “You have to start charging that crystal. It can take a while.”

She snatched it off his table. “No turning back now,” she said. 

_No, there isn’t_ , he thought bleakly as she bounded through the door, into the sunlight.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada follows her intuition and consults Skywalker as Ben's descent into the Dark side quickens.

It took Ada three standard days to charge her crystal. Three days of meditating without food or water. Three days of pure focused energy, imbuing it with her unique light from the Force. It was easily the biggest test of her patience thus far. Aside from Ben; she doubted anyone could frustrate her like he did.

As the sun rose on the third day, the crystal ignited, briefly, imitating a bright, pulsating light. The light diminished, leaving only a faint glow at its center. 

“Whew,” she blew out a puff of air and laid down, clutching the crystal in her hand, looking up at the gnarled limbs of the Brylark tree. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to feel at peace, fulfilled, in charging her first crystal. It was a huge milestone for any Jedi. So, why did she feel … wrong?

She sighed and righted herself. Unclipping the saber hilt from her belt, she disassembled it carefully, exposing the inner matrix. Taking a steadying breath, she delicately placed the crystal into the activator chassis, nestling it securely within the housing of the saber. 

Ada took great care in reassembling the hilt, making sure every piece was perfectly aligned. She gripped her completed saber, palm sweating at the thought of activating it for the first time. Synthetic crystals, Ben said, could be unstable if not charged properly. Ada had taken extra time and energy to ensure it had been properly cleansed… but still, she squeezed her eyes shut as her thumb ignited the saber.

It hummed to life, its light seeping through Ada’s eyelids. It hadn’t exploded, thank Kala. It sang as she whirled it through the air, her grip on the hilt firm and familiar. For the first time in months, she felt sure of herself, confident in her abilities and decision-making skills. 

She completed a series of attacks on the air, finishing in a crouched position with the saber held in front of her, other arm stretched behind her for balance. 

The wind whispered in her ears, carrying with it a tang of the sea, rising through the leaves of the Brylark tree and rustling them so they, too, sounded like ocean waves.

“I’m listening,” she told the Force, “Guide me.”

Master Skywalker had left in order to reconvene with the Resistance. Ada hoped it had something to do with the mole they had worked to uncover. It had been months since they had any word about the developments surrounding this “Hux” person.

After creating her saber, Ada rejoined her fellow Jedi around the firepit as evening came. It felt like ages since she had last talked to any of them, being absorbed with other concerns, as she was. Morgares, as usual, was leaving everyone in stitches with tales of one of his many escapades; Hezza and Car were howling with laughter. 

“And then I said -” Morgares paused to laugh preemptively at his own punchline, “I didn’t know you could fit a telescope up there!” Hezza and Car doubled over, slapping their knees and each other’s backs, laughing themselves into coughing fits. It was hard for their humor not to be contagious and Ada smiled, even though she missed the entire joke.

“I’ll have whatever they’re having,” Ada said as she nudged Jenuri. “Oh?” Jenuri said coquettishly. “Ross, pass the flask!” Ross tossed Jenuri a dented and dirty looking bronze flask and passed it over to Ada.

“And just what the hell is this?” Ada asked. 

“Just some of Naboo’s finest,” Car said.

“Naboo’s finest what, exactly?”

“Does it matter? Everything on Naboo is fine,” Car replied, looking a little glassy-eyed. 

Shrugging, Ada unscrewed the top of the flask and tipped its contents into her mouth. The liquor was sweet, at first, but it had a not-altogether unpleasant afterburn. It made her tongue tingle, like there were little bubbles popping in her mouth. It made her smile.

Re-fastening the cap, she asked the crowd at large, “You guys wanna see something cool?”

“Hell yeah!” Vade said, swaying slightly. Ada unclipped her saber and stepped back as she ignited it. 

“Wow!” they collective ooh-ed and aww-ed at her new weapon.

“Violet,” Jenuri said. 

“What?” Ada asked.

“Your blade - a beautiful mix of blue and red. A lovely hue of violet.”

“Yeah,” Ada said, feeling slightly insecure. “I thought it would be blue or green or something but... “ she shrugged lamely. She was concerned that she might not have cleansed the crystal as well as she thought.

She extinguished the blade and asked Jenuri, “What do you think it means? The color?”

She shrugged. “Maybe it’s still figuring things out for itself,” she said as she hiccuped delicately. 

The flask made its way around the group of friends several more times.

“I heard Master Skywalker say we’re going to get Padawans soon,” Rossaph, eyes widening, told her friends. 

“Yikes,” Kroz groaned, “I can’t even imagine teaching Padawans. I’m barely not a Padawan myself…”

They chuckled at that, knowing how he felt in knowing nothing at all, really. 

“Still,” Vade interjected, “I think it would be nice to train the next generation of Jedi. Being so close to extinction, we’re really the only hope left for the Jedi.”

Her words hung in the air, the weight of their responsibility settling itself on their shoulders, once again. 

Car sighed and took a long pull from his flask, finishing it. Ada felt her gut clench at Vade’s acknowledgement. If what she saw in the caves was true, if what Snoke told Ben was true, there wasn’t any hope at all for the Jedi. They would be destroyed in whatever catastrophe befell this camp.

_I have to get them off this island. I can’t just let them die._

She needed Master Luke, she decided; when he returned, she would tell him everything.

She might not have agreed with all the ways of the Jedi, and maybe that made her unworthy of the title, but she couldn’t just bide her time while her friends waited to be massacred. 

The conversation had changed course since she was lost in her thoughts.

“You know, Ahsoka Tano’s sabers were white,” Vade said.

“Wasn’t she also a fallen Jedi, though?” Ross asked.

“No,” Ada said, “she was betrayed. She was framed for a crime she didn’t commit and condemned by the Jedi Order. They later found she was innocent, but I guess she only needed to be burned once. Ashoka went her own way, made her own path, swearing allegiance to no one - except to herself and to doing what was right.”

The words flowed unburdened from Ada, summarizing Ahsoka Tano’s plight, which she related to, deeply. Ahsoka saw the flaws of the Jedi, but that didn’t make her a Sith empathizer. It just made her… one with the Force. 

Ahsoka’s path was never easy, betrayed as she was by someone she considered a friend, her Jedi allies turning their backs on her before they had the whole story. But she paved the way for Force users who… didn’t quite fit in anywhere else. 

“I think she was foolish,” Car said. “I mean, how did she not sense that level of deception?”

“You think she was a fool because she trusted someone she thought was her friend?” Ada asked, her tone icy, alluding to the fact that any one of Car’s Jedi friends could plot his demise and could hide their deception, if they wished. 

“Ahsoka Tano was a better Jedi because she trusted, because she made mistakes,” Jenuri said, looking at Ada.

“And she was vilified because she exposed the hypocrisy and the failings of the Jedi Council,” Ada concluded. 

Jenuri nodded. “Sometimes, we all trust people we shouldn’t.”

###

As they all made their way to bed, Ada pulled Jenuri aside. 

“When Skywalker returns, I need you to get as many people off this island as you can. Prepare the shuttle and leave.”

“What is going on, Ada?” Jenuri asked, a bristling urgency in her voice. “Something has happened to you.”

“Yes, Jenuri, you’re right. Something - something has happened, will happen, if I don’t act. When Skywalker returns with the shuttle, you have escape with as many as you can. Don’t stay together when you make landfall. Scatter, hide.”

“Ada… what’s going to happen to us?”

Ada, bit her lip and roughly shoved her hair out of her face. “The Empire will rise again. There’s no stopping it now, Jenuri. And - Ben and I… we have an unfortunate role to play. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt so I need you to get everyone off this island as soon as you can.”

“What do you mean you don't want ‘anyone else’ to get hurt? Is he going to hurt you? Ada,” she grabbed Ada’s arm in a strong grip, “is he going to kill you?” she whispered.

“No one else has to die, Jenuri,” she said quietly. “I’m begging you to keep them safe, please.”

“No, Ada. I can't let that happen. You have to come with us!" Jenuri whispered harshly.

Ada shook her head. "There isn't enough time to explain why I have to stay behind. If I'm being honest, what's going to happen is far more important than my life and I have to _try_ to ensure the safety of the galaxy, the preservation of the Jedi. Our continued existence will be crucial in what's to come. I'm going to consult with Master Skywalker, and maybe he can help. But, please, Jenuri, just trust me and do what I ask." 

Jenuri looked crushed as she said, "I know Ben has your heart, Ada, but just know, I will always be your friend… and then some,” she smiled sadly.

“Ben has some of me, not all of me,” Ada whispered, intertwining her fingers with Jenuri’s. “But I need you to go, Jenuri. It’s not safe for you here.”

Jenuri pulled her into a hug, “I’m sorry this has happened to you. It’s not fair. But if there was one person in this galaxy who can make it right, it’s you,” she whispered. 

“Once you’re hidden, close off your Force signature, seal it away. Otherwise, the First Order will find you. Their leader is…” Ada repressing a shiver, “relentless. And Ben,” her words caught in her throat, “whatever becomes of Ben, he will hunt every single one of you down. He will destroy the remainders of the Jedi.”

“I’ll escape with as many as I can,” she said. 

They made their way back to the hut, Ada curling up next to Jenuri in her bed, cherishing the time she had left with her. 

###

Ada didn’t sleep at all. She was waiting to hear the telltale sound of Master Skywalker’s shuttle returning. 

She shifted so her lightsaber wasn’t digging into her hip and confronted the insidious panic that was coming to a boil inside her.

Ada needed to consult Skywalker; he was her last hope. _Master Skywalker would know what to do_ , she thought, in a feeble attempt to console herself.

Jenuri rolled over in her sleep. Sweet, innocent Jenuri. Smarter and more intuitive than anyone had a right to be. Ben might be able to read Ada's mind and gauge her feelings, but Jenuri knew her soul. Ada loved her, and would do whatever it took to protect her from harm. 

She couldn’t take it anymore. She slipped out of bed and crept outside their hut. She’d wait for Master Skywalker somewhere else; not inside his hut - that felt intrusive. But her restless mind would show her no mercy; not until she confided in Master Skywalker.

She walked to the cliff. Not just a cliff; _the_ cliff. This is where she would… die? Would she die here? Her vision seemed to show her death but… was anything really certain?

She sat down at the ledge, cross-legged. _All I want is peace. Why is that so difficult to find?_ She remembered a time when monstrous robotic mechs were her worst problem. Oh, what she’d give to have to face Thunder Bear again and have that be her most pressing concern…

And Cal. Where was he? Was he alive? Something in her thought so; she hoped she’d be able to sense it if one of her friends departed the physical realm…

Childhood had been simple for her. Despite the fact that she never knew her father. Her mother made sure to tell her stories about him, and made sure she knew how much he had loved her… She’d never wanted for anything. Not for food, affection, love… nothing. 

Ada felt truly blessed for her good fortune. _No one should have to live without those things_ , she thought, _No one should feel unlovable._

Of course, her thoughts turned to Ben. Didn’t they always? She hadn’t sensed him in quite some time.

A light in the sky - it couldn’t be anything but Master Skywalker’s shuttle returning from his rendezvous with the Resistance. She stood and prepared to greet him.

The shuttle touched down; the ramp lowered with a rush of decompressed steam. 

He made his way down the gangway; she felt unsure, but she was left with no other choice than to tell him the truth about his nephew. She couldn’t let them be slaughtered.

“Ada?” Luke peered out of the mist at her. “It’s late. What are you doing up?”

“Master," she couldn’t quite bring herself to look him in the eye. “I need to talk to you… about Ben.”

Luke breathed in through his nose and exhaled forcefully, “Yes, I thought you might.” He beckoned her through the door of his hut.

Ada started the fire in his furnace and sat on the floor across from her Master. “I don’t know where to begin,” she said, swallowing her misgivings.

“The beginning is usually good,” Luke said gently, not chiding her, just trying to be comforting.

She told him everything. Hers and Ben’s relationship, the cave, Snoke, their shared visions, their fates… 

“He isn’t beyond reach,” she said, “I just… I don’t know how to reach him. You’re the only member of his family that might still be able to help him.” 

“Do you know who Darth Vader is?” Luke asked softly.

“Yes,” she whispered. Darth Vader was the right hand of the Emperor, back in those Dark days.

“Do you know who Anakin Skywalker is?” Luke surveyed her with those all-knowing blue eyes.

“Your father, sir. And General Organa’s father.”

“Do you know how Anakin died?”

“At the hands of Lord Vader.”

“Yes, that’s the popular interpretation…” he trailed off. Her brows knit together in confusion.

“Interpretation, sir?”

“Darth Vader didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker. Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader. Anakin… loved my mother, desperately. He saw a vision of her demise and couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. His grief, his humanity, drove him down a path he was always willing to go, Ada.”

Ada didn’t know how to respond. That - Vader? _Vader_ was Luke and Leia Skywalker’s father? Ben’s grandfather.

“I… sir, I’m sorry I just -”

Luke chuckled, “Imagine how I felt when Darth Vader told me he was my father.”

“I truly can’t imagine…” she said, incredulous.

“My point is, Anakin Skywalker believed what he wanted in order to follow a path he was always… curious about, prone to. And Ben,” he shook his head slightly, “Ben. He isn’t his grandfather. He isn’t like anyone in his family, really.”

She didn’t know how to interpret that information. “Master, he’s ventured farther into the Dark side than you know.”

Luke nodded, “I know; I have sensed it myself. Leia and I have discussed it. She’s known for a long time, his tendencies…” he trailed off, lost in thought.

“Vader turned back to the Light in the end,” she said. “Because of you?”

“Because of hope,” he said.

Ada nodded. “Luke,” she said, meeting his eyes, “you can’t give up on him. You might not be able to keep him from Snoke, but he is not lost.”

“No, he isn’t lost. That’s what I’m worried about.”

###

Ada left Skywalker’s hut feeling not at all reassured. She had, however, reached the point where she had to accept that she had done the best she could with the information she had. She’d done what she thought was right, and that would have to be enough for now.

She had been honest about her shortcomings, laid bare her flaws with Skywalker; she had no one else to turn to at this point. Jenuri knew as much as she needed to in order to keep herself safe; Ben, the only other person who had actually experienced some of the things she experienced couldn’t be trusted… 

Alone. She was wholly alone now. Just where Snoke wanted her to be. This was the Dark side calling to her, still; even after she denied its temptations, its threats. 

She didn’t belong among the Jedi… nor did she belong among the Sith. She belonged to herself, to the Force, and that would be enough. 

Ada would have to make her own path. But that was okay, she thought, because she had never shied away from that challenge before. It was only when she was told that there was a path she should follow that she became insecure about the wildness that had always surrounded her, that had always been a part of her.

She looked, as always, to the stars and knew she’d be okay, in the end.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

Ada had fallen asleep under the stars and woke with sun. She started a fire in the pit and began prepping breakfast. She had to formulate a plan with Jenuri to get as many people off this island as possible. And do so without Ben knowing. 

There wasn’t much time left now. Fear had no place in her heart any longer, but left in its place a fierce determination to fight tooth and nail until the bitter end. 

Jenuri rose not long after she did and sat next to her as she cooked breakfast.

“You have to leave tonight,” Ada told her. Jenuri nodded.

“I’ll ready the shuttle, inconspicuously,” Jenuri said as she flipped the bacon. “You’ll need to keep Ben occupied.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Ada said, flatly. 

“You didn’t get any sleep, did you?” Jenuri said, scrutinizing the dark circles under her eyes.

“Not really.”

“You should come with us tonight,” Jenuri offered.

“You know I can’t.”

“No, I don’t know that,” Jenuri’s voice was strained. “I don’t know that at all.” She used her sleeve to wipe away errant tears.

“Jenuri… you know I can’t go with you. I have to see this through. There isn’t any other way.”

Ada felt for her; Ada had been there herself not long ago. Trying to find some loophole, some way to keep the inevitable from happening.

“You know I’ll kill him if I can,” Ada said, unequivocal.

“Will you?” A pointed rebuke. 

“I will.” It was a promise. It was also a threat. 

Ada spent the better part of the day searching for Ben. He had made himself scarce as of late, but she had a feeling where she could find him. 

She approached the Brylark tree, seeing his silhouette. She sat down next to him in silence. He was looking out at the expansive sea. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, he hadn’t gotten much sleep either.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

A moment of quiet calm between them, watching the waves crash on the rocky shore.

“No.”

“Me neither.”

He took her hand in his and she squeezed it as hard as she could. He was tortured, she saw it - it was consuming him. Snoke, his tentacles infiltrating Ben’s mind.

“He made you tell him about us,” she said.

“He knows everything.”

“You didn’t have to fight him. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had just… given him what he wanted.”

“It doesn’t seem fair that you would fight to save me and I can’t do the same for you,” his voice strained against fraught emotions. 

“You’re far stronger than I am,” he said. “Part of me just wants you to kill me.”

Ada turned her head toward him, slightly. “You know I can’t do that.” 

Ben had been Snoke’s plaything for far longer than Ada could even fathom; Force knew what she would do after that kind of… torture, manipulation.

“I wanted this,” he said. “I wanted this, at some point. I thought giving everything to him would be worth it.”

“Maybe it will be,” she said. Now he turned his head toward her. 

“Maybe it will be,” she repeated, “I hope, for your sake, you get something out of it.”

Another silent moment. Then he started laughing. A genuine smile - not a smirk. His head tilted toward the sky as he laughed; a hearty sound.

Ada smiled and laughed with him. She imagined Snoke putting him through this agony and giving him a novelty t-shirt that read _I survived Snoke’s torture chamber and all I got was this lousy t-shirt_. 

What else could they do? They had cried, screamed, thrashed against the riptide that was dragging them under; what else was left?

Their laughter was contagious; each fueling the other’s amusement, tears welling in their eyes. Nothing was funny, and yet, everything was. Their lives were entirely ridiculous.

Some might have said they were hysterical, and perhaps they were. But it was nice to lose your mind with someone else; a companion on the path to purgatory, as it were. 

At last, their laughter died down; Ada hiccuping slightly as she caught her breath, wiping her eyes. 

‘I’m glad you’re here with me,” he said. She snorted, “I’m not.” He laughed silently, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“My sides hurt,” Ben said. He looked over at her again. “I feel like this is the last time I’m going to laugh like this.”

Ada stared out at the ocean. “I hope not,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

###

Back at camp, Jenuri had her bags packed and tossed them onto the shuttle. She had shaken Ross awake and told her to pack her things, quickly. 

“We don’t have much time,” Jenuri ushered her. “I need your help to get the others prepared and ready to move onto the shuttle.”

Naturally, Rossaph had quite a few questions about this little escapade. Jenuri realized, a little too late, that she should have just made up some story about Master Skywalker giving them an emergency mission or something.

“Ross,” Jenuri gritted impatiently, “I just need you to pack your shit and get the shuttle ready, okay?”

“Okay,” Rossaph acquiesced. 

Jenuri strode out of her hut and hurried to warn the others.

If Ada was wrong, the worst thing that could happen is that she would be reprimanded for overreacting.

If she was right, then she potentially saved a handful of Jedi from being executed. Ada was happy to spend these final moments with Ben; she wanted to remember him as he was now.

Their strange connection, the first time she saw him really smile, his laugh, his tears, his love for her… She knew he loved her in his own way. For her, that was enough. But it would never be enough for him.

She had accepted this, and only wanted a few more moments to capture a few more memories of him; even though she knew this would only make the inevitable more difficult. 

She thought these things as she climbed into his lap, facing him. Kissing his full lips, biting at them, gently. His hands on her back, pulling her closer, like he wanted to be a part of her. They shed their clothes, no longer concerned about being found out. 

None of those past fears mattered any more. Perhaps the Jedi were right in that to fear death was a path to the Dark side; Ada no longer feared dying and had never felt more free. Death would come for her whether she was ready or not; might as well live a little in the meantime. 

She straddled Ben’s naked form, laying him down in the sparse grass that grew in the shade of the Brylark tree. 

This time was different than the first; more fragile, more brittle. Ada knew that anyone she had after this could never compare. 

She eased herself onto him, taking him in gradually. His hips met her rhythm, his fingers digging into her thighs, gripping her ass, then winding their way into her hair. They opened themselves to one another, their emotions unrestrained and raw. The Force flowed so easily through them in that moment; it was like they were one continuous being. 

It was different when Ada came this time, his hips thrusting himself into her; becoming more and more passionate, more driven - frenzied, almost. Not consumed with the past, not concerned with the future; just present. Happy, now. 

Their release drove the breath out of her lungs, making the next inhale so much sweeter than the last. The tears that rolled down their cheeks were evidence of their surrender to the life that sustained them both. And the pleasure that bordered on pain belied the thought that their strife wasn’t just Dark and Light; it was both, it was neither, it was nothing, and it was everything all at once. 

It was the Force.

###

Night came, the evening falling down around them like the final act of a play. Both of them pretended like they would see the other tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and on and on for eternity. 

Ben fell asleep easily that night, for once. His mind at ease for the first time in a long time. Luke was crushed by his love for his nephew and his responsibility to the Jedi. Jenuri and Rossaph waited for the cover of night to steal away to the shuttle.

Ada waited and watched as the storm clouds rolled in. The last rays of the setting sun emblazoned the approaching clouds an ominous blood red. 

She retreated to their hut. “Are you ready?” Ada asked Ross and Jenuri as the first raindrops splattered on the roof.

“Shuttle’s prepped; we’re good,” Jenuri said. The three laid in their respective beds, watching the lightning illuminate the ceiling. 

Ada tried not to drift off, but her lack of sleep had, at last, caught up to her. The constant pounding of the rain drowned out most other sounds.

As she drifted off, she dreamt about the cave again. The way she felt when it had called to her, beckoning her deeper into its darkness. 

Luke, in his own hut, reaching out to his nephew, hoping he wouldn’t find what he suspected lying within Ben’s heart…

And Ben… desperately clinging to the bloodthirsty entity that valued him for who he was; that didn’t mourn what he could never be. He dreamed of a place in this universe, where he belonged, where he thrived.

Something woke Ada - snapped her out of her reverie like a slap to the face. She sat bolt upright. She woke Jenuri and Ross. “It’s now or never - go!”

She ran out of the hut into the driving rain. A faint glow from Skywalker’s hut. Ada ran to it and ripped the door open - he was gone.

“Jenuri, quickly!” she yelled into the rain as Jenuri prepped for takeoff and Ross roused the others. 

As Ada turned toward Ben's hut, lightning stuck behind her, igniting Skywalker’s hut. She ducked to avoid getting hit by flaming debris just as Ben’s hut seemed to implode. 

_Oh, no…_

She turned away from the destruction of Ben's quarters and helped Jenuri usher others onboard as lightning struck the surrounding huts, causing them to burst into flame. 

As the fire spread, she knew she had acted too late. The hum of a lightsaber igniting behind her sent dread through her. Jenuri froze as she was helping Car to the shuttle, staring at the scene behind Ada. 

“Jenuri!” Ada called, rainwater dripping into her eyes. “Go, now! You have to leave!” Car and Jenuri scrambled to the shuttle as Ada turned to her foe.

The light of Ben’s blue saber illuminated his stark features. His eyes - haunted, murderous.

“You turned him against me!” he shouted into the storm. Ada raised her chin, removing her saber from its place on her belt.

“You did that yourself,” she said, rain pelting every inch of her. And still, the lightning cracked and the thunder rolled.

Ada knew Ben had seen the conversation that took place between herself and Luke, when she sought Luke’s advice. She had wrought the beginning of the end through confiding in him.

“Ben, Luke loves you! He’s your blood! He made a mistake, can’t you see that?”

“He tried to kill me!” he screamed at her; Luke had betrayed him - the final act. Ben, at last, was beyond her reach. She knew it would come to this, but nothing could ever prepare her for how devastating it was. 

_I know_ , she said. _It’s my fault. I’m sorry._

Ada didn’t think he heard her anymore. Ben was… gone. 

_Keep him from destroying the shuttle_. That was all she had left.

Ada swallowed her despair and ignited her lightsaber.

“I’m not going to make this easier for you,” she yelled bitterly over the roar of the rain and crashing sea. 

“I look forward to it,” he spat back.

They hurled themselves at each other, lightsabers crashing together as Ben blocked Ada’s attack. She aimed a kick at his foot, attempting to knock him off balance. He countered easily and rebounded with a flurry of vicious attacks, his teeth barred. 

She fended him off as her desperation fueled her - she kept listening for the hum of the shuttle taking off. 

_I just have to hold him off until they escape_. She parried his strikes - she had always been quicker than he was - but he was holding his own. Ada had worked hard to master ambidextrous dueling and switched her dominant hand, hoping to throw him off. Their sabers slashed through the rain, only outshone by the lightning.

It was blinding when the lightning crackled across the sky, Ada and Ben circled one another like caged tigers, allowing the afterburn of the lightning strike to leave their vision. 

Jenuri had fired up the shuttle’s engines and was waiting for Ross to return with Irlon. 

Ross clambered back on board after what felt like a painfully long time, “I can’t find him!” she shouted over the roar of the storm, “We have to leave without him!” 

Jenuri nodded as the others looked horrified at what was happening. They watched as Ada fended off Ben as he rained blows down on her.

On the ground, Ada used a particularly violent Force push to give herself more space to counterattack. 

Ben recovered swiftly, hurling a huge rock at Ada with the Force. She ducked, her lightsaber poised in front of her, which sliced the rock in half instead of hitting her dead-on.

At long last, she heard the hum of the shuttles engines and saw it taking off in the corner of her eye.

Ben turned and watched as it made its escape. A twisted, bitter laugh left his lips. “So that’s what you’ve been plotting?” he gestured to the shuttle. “Saving your pathetic friends?”

Ada, breathing heavily, Force-pulled him in closer and barraged him with a series of strikes with her lightsaber, coupled with a few of hits with the Force. She thought, for a second, she might have him when he reached up with the Force and stopped her blade from searing him. Ben threw her off with a violent Force-push; then she felt that all too familiar feeling of being suffocated; an invisible hand clamping down on her neck.

Ben watched her struggle as she willed the shuttle out of orbit. A small, sardonic chuckle escaped his lips. “That - “ he gestured to the shuttle, “is where your loyalty, your love, lies?” Ada, less and less able to breathe with every passing second, narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Yes,” she managed to whisper as the grip on her throat tightened. 

“So be it,” Ben sneered.

The pressure on her neck lifted and Ada sucked in a lungful of precious air. Her head clearing, she saw Ben was… holding the shuttle in place using the Force. Ada watched, in a slight daze, as its engines revved against the invisible strain. Ada knew the shuttle couldn’t sustain that kind of force on its hull for long and struggled to her feet, wind whistling through her airways. 

“Stop!” she rasped, advancing on him before he swatted her back with another Force attack, “Let them go! You don’t need them!”

“No,” he said, “but you do.”

He closed his fist and the shuttle broke in half in the sky. Agony ripped through Ada as she watched the shuttle plummet toward the sea, falling to her knees as she felt her friends’ deaths happen in real time.

A scream, a representation of her absolute wrath erupted from her already raw throat. In her anger, she charged at Ben, determined to end him - to be the one to secure his ruin.

Lightsabers crashed together, once again, in a furious whirl, the lightning illuminated the rolling waves and the wreckage of the shuttle.

Ada thought of her friends as she laid a heavy assault on the cruel figure in front of her. Tears and rain blurring her vision; she knew nothing else but to erase this monster from history.

Her anger had opened her to something dark riding passenger in her soul. A raw power that fueled her hatred, that in turn fueled her strength.

 _Strike him down_ \-- that voice, from the cave. _Strike him down and fulfill your destiny_ , it said to her as Ben was on his knees, both hands bracing the hilt of his lightsaber from her blows. She knew that with just a few more attacks, she could finish him - her lightsaber screaming in her ears. She pummeled him with the Force, intending on impaling him on her saber as she ripped him through the air.

But… this wasn’t her path. It wasn’t what she chose in the cave, and it wasn’t what she chose now, even though, in a lot of ways, it would’ve been easier to run him through or crush the delicate structures in his throat with her bare hands. She was powerful enough now; it would be swift... 

At the last second, she extinguished her saber, standing inches away from the man she loved; the villain who would rather see her dead.

Ben put his hand in hers; she felt something drop into her palm, but he left her no time to see what it was before he rose and pushed her back toward the cliff with another volley of attacks. 

She defended herself, igniting her lightsaber - its light burning brighter and brighter. She had noticed its blade became fragmented, wavering slightly.

 _“Synthcrystals can be unstable_ ,” Ben had told her. Looking at her lightsaber, then into his eyes, she knew he and Snoke had planned this whole encounter, right up until the very moment when she realized that the crystal Ben supplied her with would rupture if overloaded. 

She saw him throw himself backward as the crystal in her lightsaber exploded - sucking the oxygen out of the air as she threw the saber, trying to shield herself from its eruption. The detonation tossed her through the air like a rag doll, her body tumbling to the base of the cliff, crumpled and broken. 

Blood seeped from her numerous wounds as the left side of her body felt completely crushed; the pain beyond anything she had ever felt. There was no way she would survive this, she thought as she turned her head to the other side to see what Ben had gifted her in their last moments.

 _My crystal… it was glowing again_ ; its contents swirling in turmoil as she clasped her hand around it. His parting gift...

She turned her face up to the stars; they were beautiful… fading… and she knew fate was calling her home.

###

Ben gazed down at Ada’s body lying at the bottom of the cliff. It was done. When she… died, whatever had remained of Ben Solo died with her. 

He felt nothing now, not yet. Any feelings that would surface later, he would deal with until she was nothing but a shadow of a memory, a lesson learned the hard way. Ada had made her choice. She wasn’t strong enough to choose to live. 

He turned away from her as he heard a ship approaching. Irlon, arriving with their getaway vehicle, landing it on the bluff.

Ben glanced once more at the immobile form of the woman he once would’ve given his life for. He felt relief as he knew that life of needless attachment was done and gone, now. 

He turned and made his way toward his ship to be united with his new Master.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada's alive, but just barely. She returns home, finally, and is reunited with her past. A little help from a friend goes a long way.

The camp was in utter ruin. Despite the rain, most of the camp had been charred by the persistent flames. 

Rocks rattled to the ground as a pile of rubble shifted. A hand shoved its way through the debris and green light burst through the pile of the demolished hut.

Luke rose from the ashes of the last Jedi, coughing and spluttering on the soot, blood from a cut on his brow trickling into his eye. The wind whipped around him as a fresh barrage of rain drenched him, chilling him to the bone. Something… someone was out there, calling to him, seeking help...

He shook the rest of the rubble off him and let the Force guide him to where he needed to be. Dragging himself near the edge of the cliff, he looked over the precipice. 

“Ada.”

###

Leia had sent a rescue ship to Luke’s location. He had requested a full medical team with an onboard bacta tank, if possible.

Luke held Ada’s ravaged head in his hands, focusing his remaining strength on sustaining her lifeforce. He had felt the faint flicker of the Force that clung to her and knew he had to save her.

She was the last… the only one that survived, aside from himself. “Ada, hold on,” he whispered to her. A faint, fluttering pulse - the last remnants of the Force that flowed through her. 

Luke refocused on trying to heal her - to sustain her - until Leia’s dropship arrived, at long last.

The medical droids carried Ada onboard, cutting her garments away and performing emergency, life-saving surgery. Her head injuries were most worrisome - the left side of her face a mess of pooling blood, fractured bone, and swollen tissue.

After hours, the medical droids managed to stop her bleeding, cleaned most of her wounds, and submerged her in a bacta tank in order to prevent further damage.

“Master Skywalker,” the head medical droid addressed Luke, its mechanical voice irritatingly impassive, “the patient has sustained severe trauma to the left prefrontal and temporal lobes of the brain. It is doubtful that she will ever regain full capacity of her mental functions. Additionally, her left arm and four ribs have been fractured severely, leading to high amounts of nerve damage.”

“What are the options?” Luke asked listlessly.

“The patient may remain in the bacta tank and could regain at least some control of gross motor function and cognition, but the odds are -”

Luke held up a hand, “Don't tell me the odds.”

“Yes, sir,” the droid continued, “As I said, she could recover some of her functions, if she remains in the bacta. But to achieve the best possible outcomes, she will need medical intervention that is beyond the skill and expertise of this crew.”

Luke nodded his head. “Thank you,” he said and dismissed the droid. He felt utterly broken. 

###

General Organa had been briefed on the tragedy at Luke’s camp.

Ben. _Her_ Ben. Guilt gripped her stomach, making it churn with despair. For her son, for her brother, for those poor Apprentices… 

Leia ran a hand over her face and wondered how much more of this she could take. She knew Ben blamed most of his problems on hers and Han’s marriage; they hadn’t been the most present parents, trying to form a new democratic Republic to serve an entire galaxy. 

But she always thought they had done the best they could… Apparently, it wasn’t enough. 

Desperation washed over her and she felt her legs collapse under her. 

_Ben… please, just come home_. She wanted Han here; she needed someone… someone to lean on. But Han was never around when she needed him. _Typical_ , she thought derisively. 

She wiped her eyes and pulled herself to her feet. As usual, the only person she could truly count on was herself.

She looked up at the young woman floating in the bacta tank in front of her. A good Jedi, according to Luke, very strong in the Force, like Ben… And was nearly dead because of Ben. 

Luke was in the process of contacting her family on - where was it? - Isobe? Leia pressed her hands together in front of her mouth; another ally dead in the name of this cause, in the name of democracy. She liked to think they knew what they signed up for, but most of them were just kids - no older than when she was when she entered the war. She'd had no clue what was in store for her; though, if given the choice, she’d do it all over again. 

But, faced with the difficult task of informing another family that their child had died in the name of the New Republic, she drew herself up a little straighter and went in search of her brother. 

He had managed to make contact with someone on Isobe; the glow of their hologram illuminating the room. This person identified herself as “Krindi Iro, Chief Development Officer, Cybernetics division.” Likely an Arkanian refugee, Leia thought.

“What has happened to Ada?” Chief Development Officer Iro asked Luke. He had informed her that he was trying to relay sad news to Ada Zahn’s next of kin. As if sensing his misgivings about releasing information to a non-relative, Krindi said, “Ada and I were friends for most of our lives. Her mother is also… unwell. I’m afraid any tragic news regarding her daughter would probably kill her.”

It was Leia who spoke up first, “Ada has been critically injured serving as a Jedi. It was an - “ she choked down her anguish, “- an unfortunate incident.” She finished.

Luke explained the extent of Ada’s injuries. “We want to know what her family would like us to do, given that the likelihood of her making a recovery is very small.”

Krindi Iro paused, pressing her lips together in an effort to restrain her own emotions. She shook her hair out of her face after regathering her poise, “Bring her to me. I’ll see what I can do.” Iro sent the coordinates to Leia’s crew and coordinated the exchange. 

After Iro’s hologram disappeared, Luke turned and went back to the medbay where Ada was being held. Leia could feel him turning inward, taking his anger out on himself.

Not long after Luke left, she followed him to the medbay and stood next to him as he watched the monitors of the bacta tank beep rhythmically. _Steady, at least_ , she thought.

“Luke…” she started, but he just shook his head. “Don’t. Don’t start, Leia. I don’t deserve any consolation for what I’ve done.”

“Luke, what happened wasn’t your fault. Ben has been led astray; I know we can get him back,” she said.

“Get him back?” Luke asked incredulously. “Get him back, Leia? He is responsible for the death of the Jedi. It’s only by the grace of the Force that Ada and I survived. I played a pivotal role in his… his downfall. I drove him to the Dark side because for a moment - a moment - I was weak and I doubted him. And now I’ll be punished for the rest of my life.” Tears had fallen from his eyes and entangled themselves in his beard. 

“I will never forgive myself for what I’ve allowed to happen,” he whispered. 

“I hope that’s not true, Luke,” Leia said, putting a hand on her brother’s shoulder. “If it’s forgiveness you seek, you needn’t ask for it. I don’t blame you and neither will Han.”

Luke put a hand up to the bacta tank, near Ada’s face, and peered at her. There were wires and tubes sticking out of her. A respirator covered most of her face. Almost half her hair had been shaved off in order to repair some of the damage to the left side of her skull. Her arm was one giant, mottled bruise - the med droids having reset her broken bones. 

Never regaining full use of that arm was the least of her worries.

Luke knew there was no life for Ada beyond the bacta tank, and what kind of life was that? But still, Ada’s vitals were strong and scans showed that she would be able to breathe on her own if taken off life support. _But again, to what avail?_ thought Luke.

Her friend, Krindi, had said the Arkanians and the Sephi had made great strides with cybernetics and mech-enhancements, and Krindi seemed optimistic that she could help Ada. He and Leia would take Ada home, to what was likely her final resting place, and then he would disappear. 

As far as he was concerned, he had failed as a Jedi - failed his family, his students, and the galaxy as a whole - and didn’t deserve a life among those he had disappointed so miserably. 

###

At last, Ada had made it to the stars. She was floating through space and it was quiet and peaceful and she felt nothing - no pain, no hunger, no sadness - pure nothingness. It was perfect.

She reached her hand out and held a star in the palm of her hand, cradling it against herself and she basked in its - it wasn’t warmth; the star wasn’t physically warm, but comforting as its pleasant glow seemed to spread within her. 

And Ada was happy.

Even in the afterlife though, if that’s what this was, Ada couldn’t simply be content. A tiny voice in the back of her mind asked what she thought she was doing here. How long was she planning on staying?

“Shut up,” she told herself. She was no longer interested in tolerating her own skepticism. 

“How long has she been like this?” the voice persisted. 

“She’s been in stasis for six months, sir.”

Wait, Ada thought. How many people were inside her head right now?

“We’ve outfitted her with the latest cybernetics and she’s responded well to them. She’s also been able to breathe on her own for more than 24 hours.”

“And the interface? Any issues with the first install?”

“No, sir. Although, we have some concerns with the subsequent updates.”

“Mmm, the patches could be problematic. But you’re confident that she can handle being booted?”

“If there’s any person alive who can handle it, it’s Ada, sir.”

How long had she been floating around in space? She experienced a fluttering of panic. There was no way she could actually survive in space, so where the hell was she?

“BT, bring the subject online.”

A bright light split her field of vision in two, a massive chasm that threatened to suck her into its gaping maw. The chasm expanded until her vision was completely overwhelmed by the blistering white light. Fireworks exploded in her eyes; she continued to see afterburn images even after she clamped her eyelids down until the intensity lessened.

For the first time in months, Ada opened her eyes, only to see that she was enclosed in a glass coffin. 

“Subject is online,” a robotic voice said. “And Subject is… experiencing distress.”

There were tubes sticking out of her mouth, out of her arms, one in her abdomen. 

“Heart rate is rising at an alarming rate,” the robotic voice reported. 

She started to thrash around in her glass prison; fully terrified now. 

“Execute rest mode,” a more-human sounding voice commanded. Ada thought it sounded familiar right before her vision went black and she knew nothingness once more.

Some part of Ada knew that she was alive, in a way. She shouldn’t have been, but she knew she was in her body again, not some floating consciousness in space. She was also vaguely aware that she was experiencing discomfort again, being back in her mortal coil. 

“BT, initiate start up.” That voice again. 

It was like someone flipped a switch - she was instantly conscious, her eyes flying open. No longer in the glass coffin, no more tubes. She breathed a sigh of relief. The first breath she remembered taking on her own in… how long?

Where was she? How did she get here?

“Subject is online. Vital signs are normal. Threat levels nominal.” The robotic voice read out its reports. 

“Thank you, BT.” Ada was sitting on a metal table, the overhead light was radiant, exposing every scar and bruise and scab on her body. Someone had covered her in a gown; she was grateful that she was able to retain some of her dignity, at least. 

“Mental faculties: functional; 95% operational. Organ systems: functional; 87% operational.” Mr. Robot was going to run through her whole medical record, apparently.

Her body was stiff and the examining table was uncomfortable, so she made to slide off. She landed on the cold, tiled floor and her legs immediately collapsed beneath her weight.

Several people - doctors, she guessed, based on their face masks and white lab coats - ran over to her to help her back onto the table.

“Ada? Are you okay?” The voice; the one she recognized. Who was it? She should know - why didn’t she know?

The person who was speaking pulled down the mask that obscured most of her face. “Ada, it’s Krindi. Krindi Iro. Do you remember me?”

“Krindi?” Her first word in so long. It was like her vocal chords had forgotten what their job was. The utterance came out mostly as a whistle of wind, so she cleared her throat. It felt raw from being intubated.

“Krindi.” Ada managed to croak out her name. The woman nodded and smiled. Ada looked at her closely, trying to remember… anything. She had known… at some point…

Suddenly, a three dimensional image of the woman popped up in front of her eyes, along with accompanying text. And yelped and scooted back on the table to try to get away from whatever she was seeing, but the hallucination followed her.

“Ada, it’s okay, it’s just your HUD. It’s totally normal… for you... now,” she woman finished lamely. 

Ada swatted at the image that obscured part of her vision, trying to clear it away. However, some of the text caught her eye. It read:

 _Krindi Iro. Female. Age, 22. Home planet, Arkanis_. Ada skimmed through the rest of it… _Friend of Ada Zahn and Calestian Gaala_. 

Wait, she knew those names. She remembered… Cal, Krindi, the mechs, the First Order - they took him. This was where it all started. Where she began.

“Subject is agitated,” Mr. Robot informed the room.

“Oh, fuck off, bot!” Ada was agitated. “Someone better start telling me what the hell is going on. And get this damn screen out of my face!” She growled, still swatting at the words that floated in front of her.

Krindi waved her hand and the words vanished. She stood looking at Ada for a moment. “Come with me,” she said with a faint smile.

Ada had been given a change of clothes, thankfully. She didn’t particularly like the open-backed hospital gown. She was now clothed in a pair of loose pants and a tank top. Minimal, but comfortable.

Krindi sat down behind the large desk that dominated the otherwise sparse room. 

Ada waited. Memories were coming back to her in fits and starts; bursting into life and then fading away, like a dream. 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Krindi asked.

“Umm,” Ada paused. The last thing she remembered was… floating and then waking up, the tubes, the coffin. 

Ada said as much and Krindi nodded. “That’s normal,” she said. “Just know, you might experience some flashbacks and post-traumatic stress as your memories are recovered.”

“As my memories are recovered? What exactly does that mean?” Ada swallowed and looked down. Her left arm was encased in some kind of metal brace; she must have broken it at some point. She turned her hand to and fro, examining the intricate and delicate mechanics. How had she not noticed? What else hadn’t she noticed?

“Yes, you suffered a great deal of trauma,” Krindi said softly, “and it’s totally understandable that you can’t remember everything at once. It would be quite overwhelming.” Ada chuckled, remembering Kridini as a much younger version, but still quite a know-it-all. 

“I remember you,” Ada said.

“That’s good. More memories will come in time. But they won’t all be pleasant. Like I said, you might find you have difficulties coping with some of the things that have happened.”

Ada sat with those glimpses of recollection that sparked within her brain. There was such a vast volume of history that her mind was catching up on… But someone had tried to kill her.

 _Ben Solo, Snoke. Luke Skywalker. The First Order. The Resistance_. She knew these things were important, and hoped that her past life would become more clear with time.

Ada supposed that particular trauma could wait. There was someone else she remembered she needed to visit. “My mother,” she said, “I’d like to see her.” 

Krindi looked up from her datapad, a stricken look crossing her features fleetingly. “Ada, she isn’t well. She’s been ill for some time. I just don’t want to put any more stress on your systems than necessary.”

“I need to see her,” Ada said. 

Krindi nodded.

Ada had anticipated a longer journey to see her mother, assuming she was still living in her home, but Krindi only walked a little ways down the hallway outside her office and opened the door to a room with a medical bed in it. A figure, diminished and feeble, lay under a mountain of blankets.

“Mama?” Ada addressed the formless shape. Krindi had turned on the soft lighting that ran around the perimeter of the room.

“Oh, Mama,” Ada whispered. She moved to her mother’s bed and gazed down at the woman who had raised her, loved her. The woman who lay in the bed was emaciated, a fragile imitation of the vibrant, kind person Ada remembered.

“What’s happened?” Ada demanded of Krindi.

“Do you remember the project we were working on when you left to become a Jedi?” Krindi asked.

Ada wracked her brain for the information that resided somewhere in her memory.

“The mechs…” Ada said tentatively, “the First Order?” Her eyes scanned the room, seeking the answer, “the mines… the runoff, poisoning the planet… and its people?” Ada turned to Krindi, hoping she wouldn’t confirm her worst fear.

Krindi nodded morosely, “You still have a quick mind, Ada. But yes, unfortunately, the runoff has altered the DNA of many of the inhabitants of Isobe, causing deadly mutations. Older people, of course, are more susceptible to its effects.”

“Mama, I’m sorry,” she looked into her mother’s eyes, Ada was unsure if she even knew she was there. “Mama, I should’ve come home sooner, I - I wanted to… I wanted to come home sooner, but…” 

But. She had to train as a Jedi. And Ben. Ben was… manipulated by that monster… it called itself Snoke. The First Order. The Empire had brutalized her people for generations, ruined her planet… 

Ada touched her face. Tears. 

“Ada,” her mother’s voice barely above a whisper. “Ada… is that you?”

“I’m here, Mama.” Ada held her mother’s shriveled hand between her own. 

Her mother’s eyes lighted on Ada’s face. “I’m… I’m proud of you, baby girl.”

Ada was crying in earnest now. She sniffed and said, “I wish I could remember why.”

“Because you choose to be better today than you were yesterday.” Her mother coughed weakly. “You have never been afraid of doing the right thing. And when you falter, you will stand again, and do the next right thing.” Her mother took a brittle breath. “You know who you are, Ada. You belong among the stars.”

Her mother didn’t say another word, and Ada simply sat next to her, letting her memories wash through her mind as her mother slept. At some point, Krindi had left, but now returned to show Ada to her room. 

“Ydira was glad to see you,” Krindi said. “I think she was waiting for you.” Ada knew her mother wasn’t long for this world.

“I’m sorry I made her wait so long,” Ada said softly. Krindi turned, putting her hands on Ada’s shoulders, her eyes locking on Ada’s. 

“Ada, you answered the call that was meant for you. We all have our role to play, our path to follow. And yours led you back here, at the right moment, just like Ydira knew it would,” Krindi said.

Ada could only give her a short nod. “Get some rest,” Krindi said, “You have a busy day tomorrow.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada gets a crash course in Arkanian tech

Ada slept on and off for a few hours. More memories had started returning to her, and she felt more clear when she woke the next day. Slightly more like herself.

Krindi gave her the summarized version of the series of events leading up to her current situation. 

A catastrophic mishap during her Jedi training, leaving her near death; the possibility of recovery slim to none. Her Master, Luke Skywalker, had made contact with the surface of Isobe, who then forwarded him through the ranks until he reached Krindi. 

“We - we made some assumptions as to what your wishes were,” Krindi said sheepishly. “Technically, you couldn’t consent to the methods we used to save your life but… well, I, selfishly I suppose, wanted to save you. I didn’t… want to lose you, especially considering how we left things.” Ada had remembered that it had always been difficult for Krindi to come to terms with her feelings, her attachments. And after Cal was abducted, they'd never really mended their broken hearts. 

Ada nodded. Regardless of whatever grudges they had held when she left to train as a Jedi, Krindi had undoubtedly saved her life. She had to learn to get a handle on… whatever she was now.

Krindi gestured to the projector screen, showing scans of what Ada assumed to be her injuries. “The damage to your brain was significant. Additionally, you suffered severe nerve damage to your arm and brachial nerve, which drastically impeded use of your arm. You also had four broken ribs.” The ribs seemed slightly inconsequential to Ada compared to everything else wrong with her, but she let Krindi continue uninterrupted. 

“We have integrated you with certain enhancements,” she gestured to the metal cast on Ada’s arm; it covered her shoulder and strips of metal extended across part of her chest, running all the way down to her fingers. “It’s linked with your neural network, allowing you full use of your arm as well as partially supporting your lung function. With time and physical therapy, you should have 100% function, although you will likely always need to use the brace given the extent of your nerve damage.

“Lastly, your cybernetic interlay allows you access to your HUD, which is quite handy for a number of different things. As you saw earlier, you can use it to identify people, plants, machines; it can even help plot flight paths and calculate risk… all sorts of things, really…” Ada recalled the startling display that appeared in her vision when she was with Krindi in the exam room. It had provided her with quite a bit of information on Krindi, and Ada didn't doubt that it would be a very handy tool.

Krindi swiped to the next slide. “As you recall, before you left Isobe, the Arkanians were researching ways to recode the mechs.” Ada nodded, indicating she was following along. 

“Well, I’m happy to say we were successful, mostly,” Krindi flicked to the next slide, “We call this code The Omega. Although we couldn’t alter the base code enough to completely domesticate the mechs to the inhabitants of Isobe, we were able to find a middle ground.” Ada’s brows furrowed. The Omega… she remembered that the Alpha mech’s code, the Progenitor code, had been rewriting itself after misinterpreting the threat against the planet.

“Wait,” Ada said, “the mechs were supposed to eliminate threats to Isobe, right? So, what about the mines? I thought the runoff from the mines was poisoning the planet and that was the source of their aggression.”

“You’re right. And the matter of the mines is… more complicated than we initially thought. So we had to get creative until we could find a long term solution.”

“The mines could only be shut down safely if they were all shut down at the same time,” Ada said, recalling the memory. 

“Correct. We’ve found five of the six mines we suspect the Empire built, but we’re still searching for the sixth. Until we can find it… like I said, we had to find an alternate solution in the meantime,” Krindi swiped to the next slide.

“The runoff from the mines has reached the surface of the planet, making much of it uninhabitable for our people, once more,” Krindi sighed as she looked at the still image of Isobe, toxic yellow sludge bubbling up from the ground, surrounded by dead vegetation. 

“All the plants are dying,” Ada said - a quick flash of another fleeting memory.

“Yes, and now we have to deal with massive dust storms that block out the sun for days at a time,” Krind said. “So, we’ve started repurposing the underground bunkers, yet again.”

Next slide.

“We designed the Titan prototype to make surface-walks in corrupted zones possible. Titans can withstand the toxicity of the runoff and they can operate autonomously or give controls to their organic Navigator.”

People could ride around in that thing, she thought, awestruck. Ada gazed at the gargantuan machine on the slide. It looked somewhat like an Imperial AT-ST in that it had a cockpit and two legs, but the Titan also had arms that looked like they could be equipped with any number of weapons.

Ada gave Krindi a scrutinizing look. “They look like they could be used for more than just taking a stroll along the surface of Isobe… they look like war machines.”

“Yes, well,” Krindi cleared her throat, “we figured it would be better to prepare for another First Order onslaught. After all, it’s only a matter of time before someone in their ranks remembers they left a fully-functioning refinery down here.”

Ada had many questions about the Titans, like how many did they have? 

But Krindi continued, clearly wanting to get through the remainder of her presentation without interruption.

“And this is where you come in. We’ve been experimenting with ways that could make Titans more responsive, as well as developing a fleet of protective gear to keep the Navigator safe in the event that they’re separated from their Titan in an inhospitable environment.” Ada licked her lips; her anticipation had been growing steadily.

“First, we had to implement prototype cybernetics to restore your brain function. You were our first successful test subject!” Krindi said, brimming with excitement. Ada, however, felt mildly horrified. 

“Well, I mean, obviously we tested it on… other things. Anyway,” Krindi quickly flipped to the next slide, “your integration went really well; better than we ever expected-- I mean, considering your condition and all. So, you have a microprocessor embedded in the temporal lobe of your brain that can analyze stimuli faster than the average Sephi brain. Since your left eye was also damaged, we replaced your retina with an artificial grid and a sensor array - that’s your HUD, or heads-up-display, which feeds your brain stimuli in real time.”

Krindi was running out of breath at this point, so she filled her lungs and carried on. “In order to enhance your functions and to, um, basically hold your skull together, we had to fuse platinum bands across your forehead that connect to the emitter and microprocessor, but I promise it all works much better with the platinum acting as a conduit between your frontal and temporal lobes.”

Ada was feeling quite lost for words as she reached up and felt the two metal bands that were flush with her skin. Her fingers traced their shape; it seemed like they ran across her forehead until about mid brow, where they connected to one another in a “U’ shape. She traced them back toward her temple, her hair still shaved on the left side of her head. She felt a circular disc behind her ear. 

“Yes, that’s the access port for the microprocessor,” Krindi said, “Only you or a very skilled Arkanian code breaker can access it. It’s highly secure because you don’t want just anyone to be able to get in there and scramble things around.”

Ada nodded. Perhaps all of this would make sense… later. After Krindi stopped talking.

“So,” Krindi emphasized, “All of this is to say, you’re the first Navigator that can fully integrate with not only their Titan, but is also calibrated to their protective gear, the mech suit. Of course, you have to practice in your suit and your Titan to fully integrate but,” she waved her hands around, “that’ll come later.”

The next image showed a picture of what looked like a full suit of armor. “This is the Chalice. A fully integrated, seamlessly-plated suit of highly protective armor that can withstand the vacuum of space for 12 hours. It can filter out most environmental toxins and withstand forces up to 30 pounds per square inch. You can access your HUD through the optical visor, communicate with your Titan, and… well, much more, but you’ll see all that during practice.”

The suit was… sleek, she thought. It definitely looked like it was modeled off of Mandalorian armor coupled with something… deadly, like a venomous snake. Its surface was a dark gunmetal grey and it shimmered, almost like scales. It wasn’t at all bulky or cumbersome-looking.

Ada was feeling slightly shell shocked. “H-how… how did you all…make all this?”

Krindi shrugged, “All of this tech operates on Omega base code. It’s more complex than the Progenitor code, but it’s also more intuitive, more intelligent, I guess you could say. So once we had a powerful enough processor, it was just a matter of redesigning the mechs to make the Titans. The Chalice, however, was considerably more challenging…” Ada noticed she had a habit of trailing off, lost in her own thoughts.

Krindi snapped back to the present and continued, “We’ve managed to use some of the refined raw materials from the mines - a bit of a silver lining, if you will - for the Titans. And of course, we’ve offered the citizens of Arkanis sanctuary in the event of another First Order raid, so they’re very willing to help us protect their people by developing and producing this tech. It’s really quite awe-inspiring, what Arkanians are capable of. The last problem lies with the power cell. We haven’t found material suitable enough for lasting energy, so the Titan requires bulky batteries and the suit’s features have to be recharged too frequently, but--” Kridni waved herself off yet again.

Ada just tried to take in everything she had said. Giant robots, a cool super suit, and a computer for a brain. 

“Would you like to meet the rest of your team?” Krindi asked.

###

Ada and Krindi walked into what looked like a giant arena, or, more aptly put, a huge hole drilled out of solid rock.

“This is the Pit,” Krindi gestured through the window in front of them. “It’s where we live-test all our prototypes.” She continued strolling down the hallway until they reached a very solid looking metal door. Krindi punched in a code on the keypad and the door whooshed open. 

She couldn’t quite believe what her eyes were seeing. There were several Titans in various stages of assembly, robot arms whirring and welding their parts together. “Automated?” Ada asked.

“Partially. We have officers overseeing production to ensure high quality throughout the process,” Krindi said. 

“How many Titans are ready to go right now?”

Krindi sighed, “Not as many as we would like, but we have limited manpower and usable resources. Some of the components the Akranians are supplying, but such things take time, especially when we’re trying to be discrete.”

Ada knew that if the First Order had an inkling of what they were creating on Isobe, they’d all be imprisoned. Or simply wiped out. She felt a fluttering of unease as a memory flitted through her brain of a Resistance turncoat spying for the First Order. Ada shot a breath of frustration out of her nose at not having any of the answers she needed.

“Time is of the essence,” she said, turning to Krindi.

“Yes,” Krindi nodded solemnly, moving to the next room. This room had considerably more screens plastered all over its walls, monitoring the energy outputs, mechanical malfunctions, and running diagnostics on the Chalices.

“Our mech suits,” Krindi said, sitting down in front of one of the many consoles. A few keystrokes, and a mech suit was lowered down from somewhere in the ceiling. Ada leaned forward, her interest peaking.

“BT, execute Chalice boot,” Krindi said. “Executing Chalice boot,” Mr. Robot confirmed.

The suit’s visor hummed a faint blue momentarily, before returning to its normal black glassy stare. “It’s calibrating itself to its environment,” Krindi explained.

Mr. Robot chimed, “Chalice calibration complete. Standby.”

“Wanna see what it can do?” Krindi grinned. “Uh, hell yes,” Ada replied, practically giddy with anticipation. The wall behind the Chalice rose into the air, exposing the Pit. Ada could now see that there were several tunnels leading out of the arena, most of which were covered by solid metal doors. One of these doors rose slowly, revealing a set of angry red eyes glowing within the darkness.

Ada walked closer to the window, practically pressing her face against it. Before the creature emerged from its den, Ada’s HUD scanned and displayed a description of the Beast. 

Snapjaw. A massive, fearsome creature that was modeled after the large-toothed amphibians that once lived in Isobe’s swamp forests.

To Ada’s surprise, her HUD had identified the creature's known weak spots, like the battery pack on its back. “Your HUD will transfer the threat specs to your Chalice and your Titan, practically instantaneously,” Krindi remarked. 

The Snapjaw slowly crept its way out of its dungeon, its belly dragging along the ground and its heavy metal claws cutting through the earth. 

As the Snapjaw moved, so too did the Chalice. “The Chalices, like the Titans, can also operate themselves independently, to a certain degree.” Krindi said in response to Ada’s shock that the suit moved on its own accord. 

“H-how?” was the only thing Ada could think of asking.

“Well, it’s a bit… complicated,” Krindi replied, doing her best to not sound condescending, “but we essentially created magnetic poles within the suit that allows it to stand and move on its own. The program it runs is very similar to the program the Titans run, just tweaked a bit.”

Just then, the Snapjaw struck out with surprising speed, closing the distance between itself and the Chalice. The suit rolled to the side, avoiding the mech’s teeth. The Chalice reached behind it and pulled out a baton. It gave the baton a little shake, which extended the weapon into a full staff, the tips buzzing with electricity, poised to stun its opponent. 

The suit moved around the Snapjaw elegantly, just like there was a person inside piloting it. Ada shook her head, simply amazed. The Snapjaw, becoming impatient, lunged once more at its foe. The Chalice struck a blow to the side of the Snapjaw’s head, eliciting a furious roar from the Beast. 

Its tail swung in a heavy arc toward the suit, which jumped in a perfect backflip, landing gracefully on its feet. The suit aimed its arm that wasn’t holding the staff at the Snapjaw and a wrist launcher device popped up on its forearm. The Chalice loaded the slingshot with a stun grenade and lobbed it at the Beast, which struck its side and overloaded its circuits. The Snapjaw collapsed onto the ground, arcs of electricity shooting through its body.

The Chalice dashed forward, preparing to deliver a final blow when the Snapjaw whipped its head around, gnashing its teeth on the suit’s arm. Having finally chomped down on its opponent, the Snapjaw flung the suit away, giving itself some space to recover for the next attack. 

Ada gasped and looked at Krindi, who did not seem concerned at all. The Chalice righted itself and aimed its arm at the Snapjaw once more. This time, a tripwire was hurled from the slingshot just as the Snapjaw took a thundering step toward the suit. The wire tripped, unleashing a deadly explosion that hurled the metal monster backward, parts of it flying off and clattering to the ground. 

The suit moved quickly, something seemingly boosting its movements. It jumped into the air, twisted itself around, pulled out its spear and slammed it into the heart of the Beast.

The Snapjaw roared one last time before crumpling to the ground, limp, its red eyes flickering and then extinguishing. 

The suit pulled its spear out of the Snapjaw, shook it again, returning it to its smaller baton form and stowing it away. The Chalice walked back to its platform and waited for further instruction. 

“Pretty great, right?” Krindi asked. Ada realized her mouth was still hanging open after watching this encounter.

“Too bad we didn’t have suits like these for Thunder Bear,” Krindi laughed. Another flash of memory; the journey to retrieve the errant Progenitor code from the Alpha mech. Without completing that mission, it’s unlikely Krindi would have discovered the mines or created these technological marvels. 

Ada chuckled, “Yeah, seriously. I probably would have been right as rain after getting mauled by that Beast if I’d had a Chalice.”

“You wanna give it a go?” Krindi asked, quirking an eyebrow at Ada. She could tell Krindi was itching to see her tech in action. 

“Okay…” Ada said, a bit nervous. 

“BT, prep Chalice for Navigator,” Krindi commanded. “Prepping Chalice for Navigator,” Mr. Robot, ever obedient, responded. 

On its platform, the Chalice’s visor opened revealing… nothing but the inside of the helmet. Ada still couldn’t believe it had operated like that on its own accord. Ada stepped through the door and into the arena, making her way toward the mech suit.

Standing in front of it, she waited for something to happen. She noticed that its arm was completely undamaged by the Snapjaw’s attack. _Impressive_ , she thought. 

Seconds ticked by and she was feeling more and more like an idiot. “Umm,” she turned toward the window, waving at Krindi, “What do I do?” she shouted.

She saw Krindi say “Oh,” wordlessly and then speak into the intercom. 

“Put your left hand on its chest. Your arm brace’s neural link will activate it.” Ada looked at her left hand. The brace covered her hand like an exoskeleton, little lights blipping their way toward the center of her hand, where a faint light pulsed in her palm.

Trepidatiously, she reached her hand out and placed it on the mech suit’s chest. Little lights started blipping outward from the place she touched, a faint hum rumbling within the suit. Then it collapsed into a pile of parts on the ground.

Ada yelped and jumped back, thinking she just destroyed Krindi’s pride and joy. She hoped there was a spare prototype. 

“It’s okay!” Krindi assured her through the intercom, “That’s normal!”

Ada looked back at the pile of scrap on the ground as the chest-piece flew at her and secured itself on her torso. Its other components followed, latching themselves to her in quick succession. She hovered slightly in the air as the boots fitted themselves to her feet. Lastly, the visor slammed shut over her face.

“Chalice is online,” a soothing male voice spoke to her through the suit.

“Uhh, hi,” Ada said. A pause and then, “Hi,” the suit replied. 

This was surreal, Ada thought. Looking at her world through the visor, she found she could switch view modes - infrared, heat maps, she could even look through walls using echolocation mapping. 

“May I take you through a tutorial, Navigator?” the suit asked, politely.

“Um, sure.”

“I am linked with your neural network. While Navigator, you have complete control over all my functions, unless you are rendered unconscious and are unable to pilot. In such circumstances, I will then resume control and move us to safety. You may turn this feature off at any time.”

“Great, sounds good,” Ada nodded, still slightly spooked when the suit moved with her. It was like talking to another person… but she was inside that person. Bizarre. 

“Your movements may be accelerated by concussion boosts,” the Chalice told her, which explained how the suit was able to move so quickly and gracefully, “but the boosts do need time to recharge. Weapon selections are available here,” another screen popped up, detailing the tools the suit came equipped with. The baton/spear combo, the wrist launcher, tripwire, grenades, and… a minigun that shot homing rockets. 

“This is… completely insane,” she muttered, to which the suit replied, “To the contrary, I sense your mental faculties are performing quite well.”

Ada laughed, “Thanks, but that’s not what I meant.”

“The nanotech,” the Chalice continued, moving past her comments, “seals the armor together and creates a closed environment, protecting the Navigator from a wide variety of potential pollutants including radiation, poisonous gas, and low-grade explosions. The nanotech can also self-heal most damage, unless it is severe enough to warrant full repair.”

“So, blasterfire, for example…” Ada posited to the suit. 

“Blasterfire damage is considered nominal, and in most instances, I would be able to repair the damaged components until heavier maintenance could be performed.”

“What about lightsabers?”

The suit paused in its response. “Lightsaber damage poses a catastrophic threat to this version of the Chalice. However, the armor plates could be upgraded to deflect lightsaber energy and sustain lower levels of damage, which could then be healed.”

“What kind of material would offer the best protection from a lightsaber?”

Ada had begun moving around at this point, testing the flexibility of the armor - it was unnerving how it felt like wearing her own skin. She was bouncing up and down on her toes, warming her body up for a fight.

“Beskar, a metal found on the planet Mandalore and its moon, Concordia, is specially crafted steel that is profound at repelling lightsaber attacks. Outfitting the Chalice with Beskar would make it heavier and slightly less mobile, however. A Cortosis armor weave would serve to redirect or absorb the lightsaber’s energy, causing the blade to temporarily malfunction. Additionally, a personal energy shield could be equipped, which would prevent serious damage from a lightsaber, if used effectively.”

Ada nodded. She liked having a friend as smart as this suit. She filed all of this information away in the back of her mind. 

“Well, shall we give this whole fighting thing a whirl?”

“I am ready if you are,” the suit responded.

She turned to look at Krindi, giving her a thumbs up and said, “Let’s do this!” This time, Ada heard her voice projected outward unlike when she was speaking directly with the Chalice; the suit really did know her thoughts…

One of the massive metal doors lifted, but there was nothing waiting within the depths of the tunnel. 

“Our enemy is cloaked,” the suit said, “May I switch views?” the Chalice asked.

“Yeah,” Ada said, still looking around for their opponent. 

The view from her visor switched to infrared, illuminating her foes - three mechs, slinking around the perimeter of the arena, lying in wait. 

“Stalkers,” she said, “I hate Stalkers.”

“They are a determined opponent,” the suit agreed. Her viewfinder pulled up an analysis on the Beasts, highlighting their inner mechanics and vulnerable spots, one of which was their cloaking mechanism. She’d try to disable that first.

Operating the suit was like second nature, it was so intuitive. _It’s linked to your brain, so that shouldn’t come as much a surprise_ , she thought to herself. Ada activated the tripcaster, setting traps to disarm the Stalkers. They had started circling her, communicating silently with one another to coordinate their attack. 

One of them began to move forward, closing in on her. She positioned herself behind the nearly-invisible tripwire, waiting for the Stalker to make its deadly move. 

Its front paw brushed the wire, igniting electric arcs that pulsed through the machine. She activated the spear and felt it drop away from the armor’s forearm and into her hand. She flicked it, extending the baton into its full form, the business end of the spear poised at the disabled mech. 

She surged forward, lighter on her feet than she thought she’d be, moving faster than she expected. Ada nearly overshot her target and the suit told her, “Recalibrating concussion boosts,” as she recovered and plunged the spear into the Stalker’s reactor core, killing it. 

“One down, two to go,” she said. The other two stalkers were still cloaked, but her visor picked them up easily. 

“Your crossbow comes equipped with precision arrows that will recreate a massive rift on contact, capable of knocking essential components off of the mechs, disabling them,” Chalice informed her.

“Cool, let’s try that,” she aimed her arm at one of the two Stalkers that had begun to quietly charge her. She focused her aim on the cloaking mechanism between its shoulder blades and fired. 

The arrow hit and emitted a massive energy burst, causing the Beast to stumble and uncloak. The Stalker bared its teeth at her, its element of surprise eliminated. As the first Stalker gathered itself back into an attack position, Ada fired at the second - another pulse shaking the Beast’s components loose. 

Both Stalkers uncloaked now, her viewfinder switched from infrared to normal. One Beast leapt at her, its claws barred, teeth gnashing. She stuck out a hand intuitively, an energy blast releasing from her gauntlet, knocking the Stalker away and doing pretty considerable damage. An indicator bar above her opponent appeared - it had sustained 87% damage, thus far.

Ada turned her attention to the other Stalker, which had zipped behind her. Somehow, the suit allowed her to sense her enemies in a complete 360, and as the Beast charged at her back, she leapt into the air, the boosters pushing her legs over her head into a backflip, landing solidly behind the Stalker. This time, she aimed her spear like a javelin and hurled it at the second Stalker, just as the first careened toward her in its redoubled attack. 

Adrenaline made time move slowly for Ada, her ability to focus on the multiple attacks astounded her. She saw everything, every path, every move so clearly. 

Her spear impaled the second stalker right between the eyes. As she ran toward the last remaining Stalker, she slid to the ground, reaching out for her spear which dislodged itself from the Beast and flew into her hand. 

Not anticipating her slide, the Stalker jumped over her, giving Ada a perfect opportunity. She shoved her spear upward, the Beast ripping itself open on its deadly tip. 

The Stalker fell to the ground in a clatter on parts, dead. 

“Well, done, Navigator. No threats detected,” the suit said. Ada looked up and saw Krindi applauding their performance through the window.

Krindi was beside herself with excitement, which she was trying desperately to contain. “That went so well, Ada. I can’t even begin to describe-” she broke off, “I mean, there were a few minor adjustments, a little extra calibration that needs to be done, but -” Krindi let out a tiny squeal of happiness, which sent Ada into a bout of hearty laughter. It hurt her ribs, but it felt so nice to feel… happy. 

“It was an incredible experience. A job well done to you and your whole team,” Ada complimented her. 

Krindi waved her hand, brushing off her compliment, “It takes a special person to be able to integrate with the Chalice so well. I think it likes you as its Navigator,” Krindi gave her a smile. “Trust me, I’ve seen these tests go very, very wrong.”

Ada walked over to her suit. She felt a little silly looking into its visor and saying, “Thanks for the teamwork, today.” Her heart practically jumped out of her throat when the Chalice responded, “Thank you, Navigator,” its metallic voice projected outward. 

“Yup,” Ada squeaked as she tried to recover from her shock, “no problem.”

Krindi led her back through the lab and introduced her to some of the other Arkanian scientists responsible for these feats of engineering. She shook the hands of each of them, complimenting them on their success. As they discussed possible upgrades and improvements for the suit, lunch was brought in for them. 

Ada noticed they were serving one of her favorite dishes, a hearty savory stew her mother used to make during the winter months. She remembered Krindi and Cal coming over for supper when they were little - they had also loved her mother’s cooking.

“It’s her recipe,” Krindi leaned in, so only Ada could hear her. “It was one of the few things she could eat when she started getting sick. I would make it for her myself until she agreed to share the recipe with the cooks,” Krindi smiled. Ada bit her bottom lip; she felt tears welling in the corners of her eyes. Krindi’s kindness, her love of Ada’s mother, squeezed at Ada’s heart. 

“Thank you for taking such good care of her.” 

“I’m happy to do it,” Krindi replied, “Goodness knows she was like a mother to me for most of my life,” resting her hand on Ada’s metal-covered forearm. They ate together in good company, the Arkanians discussing ways they could plate the armor with Beskar without making it too heavy, how they could secure Cortosis mineral quickly, who they needed to contact. Ada didn’t think she would ever meet anyone who was smarter than the people in this room. 

“Will you test with Big Daddy tomorrow?” one of the scientists asked.

Ada nearly choked swallowing her stew, “Big what?” she asked.

Krindi laughed, “It’s a nickname we gave one of the Titans,” she said, “We were tinkering with the chassis, adding armor here and there, weapons… Big Daddy is a behemoth. I think you’ll like him.”

“Can’t wait to meet - Big Daddy,” she said, trying her hardest to remain straight-faced. The other scientists smirked a little as they finished their stew.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada remembers more of her past, recovers her crystal, and offers her help to the Arkanians.

Ada had been permitted to wander around certain parts of the complex. There was a beautiful terrarium in one of the courtyards, which was where she decided she would try to meditate for a bit to help collect her thoughts and process the things she remembered - and didn’t fully recall - happening to her.

She nestled herself among the many varieties of trees and breathed deeply. She had been training as a Jedi, she remembered that much. She remembered a mission with - Ben. His name triggered a wave of anxiety to roll through her, as if waving a huge red flag to steer clear of any and all thoughts of him. 

Okay, she refocused, a mission, discovering the Resistance spy. Fighting - what was his name… Irtoh? Isore? - fighting someone, anyway, and being wounded. Feeling unfiltered power knowing that she held his life in her hands. Then, healing her wounds; so many facets of the Force that the Jedi hadn’t ever truly known…

Ada’s eyes flew open as she remembered the cave. The things she saw there, the things she felt. Her fate intertwined with Ben Solo’s… 

The next memories came rapid fire, unceasing in their intensity -

Ben, touching her for the first time, her feelings for him - she had loved him, wanted to keep him for herself when he was never hers to begin with; heartbreak, the death of her friends (Jenuri, she thought sadly, remembering how the ship broke apart in the night sky), furious rage at the things she couldn’t control, the crystal (Ben had given her the crystal, he had known what would happen) exploding in her face, being thrown from a great height into the abyss below…

Something, glowing faintly in her hand… the Sorian crystal her father had bestowed to her as a gift. She’d know its value, he’d said, when the time was right.

So she’d had her crystal before she slipped into unconsciousness… where was it now? She had to find it.

Ada bolted out of the terrarium in search of Krindi. If she arrived with any personal effects, she hoped Krindi had kept them somewhere safe. She jogged through the empty hallways. “Krindi?” she called. She felt lost; these halls were like a maze and she kept getting turned around. 

Perhaps, she thought, my HUD… The interface popped up in front of her, obscuring a portion of the background. She simply let her mind acknowledge that she was looking for Krindi, then a map with a blinking dot appeared, indicating Krindi’s location. 

“Oookay,” Ada said, slightly unnerved, but let herself be guided by the map, regardless. At long last, she found Krindi in her quarters.

“Sorry to disturb you,” Ada began, but Krindi waved her off, as she often did. “Oh no,” Krindi said, “not at all. Come in.”

She sat primly on the edge of her bed, waiting for Ada to reveal what she wanted.

“When I arrived, did I have any personal items with me? Did Master Skywalker give you any of my personal effects?”

“Ah, yes!” she clapped a hand to her forehead, “I had completely forgotten to give them to you. I’ll send word to have your effects delivered to your room, shall I?”

“Would it be possible for me to just go retrieve them? There’s something - important - I’m looking for.”

“Mmm,” Krindi pressed her lips together, “the Sorian crystal,” she said, clearly understanding its value.

“Yes,” Ada admitted. 

“Follow me,” Krindi told her as she walked through her chamber doors. Ada did as she was bade. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that crystal,” Krindi continued. “As you gathered from our conversation over lunch, one of the pitfalls we’re encountering is with the power cells. We haven’t found an energy source powerful enough to sustain our tech in the long term,” Krindi paused as she punched her code into another keypad.

“We’ve made compromises, of course, engineering alternative methods of collecting and storing energy to recharge the Titan and the Chalice, but the power cells themselves just aren’t up to snuff for what we need them to do.”

They turned down yet another hallway.

“The energy source we’re using is poor quality,” Krindi continued, “and the power cells, well - we’ve developed more advanced ones, but without a strong enough source, they’re no better than the cells we’re using now.”

Ada waited for the inevitable question, but Krindi lapsed into silence.

“You want to test my crystal to see if it can power the Titan and the Chalice?” Ada asked.

“Well, yes. But I would completely understand if you didn’t want us to. The crystal is clearly a personal item. But it could save us months of work, if it were to be a suitable power source.”

Ada was tiring quickly after this excursion through the maze of hallways. Being kept in stasis for six months had left her out of shape.

“Sorian crystals, while they used to be abundant on Isobe, if difficult to find, are essentially impossible to acquire, now. The Empire saw to it that they were refined for the raw materials,” Krindi said sharply. “Yours is quite possibly one of the few left in existence, which makes it especially valuable… and sentimental,” she added.

“Would the tests destroy the crystal?” Ada asked.

“Doubtful. Sorian crystals are one of several that are strong enough to channel the power of a lightsaber. Our needs include a consistent, sustainable source of energy, not merely raw power, so I don’t believe our technology is at risk of damaging it. Of course,” she continued, “anything could go wrong.”

“Yes, it can,” Ada agreed. At last, they arrived at a door that looked even more foreboding than the rest. Instead of a keypad, Krindi bent down for a retinal scan. After recognizing the authorized personnel, the doors split apart with a hiss. They entered a room full of small lockers, each with a different looking lock. 

“Security boxes. Everyone is assigned one,” Krindi said in answer to Ada’s unvoiced question. Krindi walked over to what Ada assumed was her own personal security box. Krindi stood in front of it and spoke her name. A voice sounded from within the box, asking Krindi some kind of… riddle. Krindi pondered the question for a minute, then leaned down and whispered her answer to the box. It unlatched.

“Interesting security methods around here,” Ada remarked. Krindi smiled, “I like to keep things interesting,” she said.

She pulled out a soft felt bag and handed it to Ada. “Make sure everything is there,” Krindi said.

Ada dumped the contents of the bag on a small table in the center of the room. Her crystal clattered to the table, along with several shards of her destroyed lightsaber.

“Master Skywalker wasn’t sure you’d want to keep the scraps, but he thought it might hold… value for you,” Krindi said. Ada picked up what remained of the hilt of her first lightsaber, the initials A.Z. + B.S. inscribed within a heart. _Like lovesick teenagers_ , she thought wistfully. She placed the ruined hilt back in the bag and held up the crystal, its contents swirling around in a comfortably familiar way. 

Ada smiled looking upon the crystal. It had started to faintly glow again. “Maybe it missed you,” Krindi said. “You know, I’ve heard Sorian crystals can form allegiances… and hold grudges.”

“Really?” Ada asked. It seemed strange that a rock could sense or feel anything, but then again, this wasn’t a normal crystal. There was something special, something alive inside of it that she felt deeply connected to. Ada draped the chain around her neck and arranged it securely inside of her robes. She was very much unwilling to part with it again.

As they left the security room, Ada turned to Krindi, “What about other Lightsaber crystals?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” Krindi cocked her head to the side, frowning slightly.

“Well, there are numerous kinds of crystals that can power lightsabers,” Ada said, “Have you considered trying to find one of those?”

“My understanding of lightsabers and the Force is quite limited. And I’m afraid my colleagues’ understanding of the tools of the Jedi are minimal as well,” Krindi replied. “But, you’ve obviously built your own lightsaber before. Perhaps you can shine some light on the inner workings of such a powerful tool. With your help, we could try to locate these crystals you speak of,” Krindi finished, “But, it seems time is always our greatest challenge; we’re always running up against the clock.” She sounded tired, all of a sudden. It had to be exhausting, the pressure of creating an army of mechs to protect your planet, and the people you love.

She left Krindi at the door to her quarters and Ada made her way toward her mother’s room. She sat down in a chair beside her bed, feeling the crystal rub against her skin. 

“Hi, Mama,” Ada said softly. She proceeded to tell her mother all about her day, like she did when she was a child. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she woke in the early morning hours, a crick in her neck from sleeping awkwardly in the chair.

The monitors overseeing her mother’s basic functions beeped and whooshed steadily. Ada stood and stretched, hoping to get a quick shower in before breakfast and another full day of training with Big Daddy. She snorted; what a ridiculous moniker. 

###

Training with the Titan had been a considerably different experience than the one she had inside the Chalice. There were actual controls inside Big Daddy; joysticks controlled its movements, triggers for its weapons, and an emergency eject/detonate button in case things got bad. Big Daddy wasn’t quite as intuitive, so it took a little more punishment from the mechs she fought in the arena. 

She trained with Big Daddy while inside her Chalice. Krindi said the technology worked more seamlessly when it was used together. Ada thought Krindi was right in that the Chalice made it easier for her to act on her instincts while operating the cumbersome Titan. Although Big Daddy came equipped with a forward projection monitor that showed her the landscape in front of her, it was much easier to adjust to her environment and react to threats while using the Chalice visor and the HUD.

After a couple hours of nonstop practice, Ada was ready for a break, plus her “teammates” as she referred to the Titan and Chalice, needed a recharge. 

Ada rested among the trees in the terrarium, watching the artificial sunlight filter through the leaves. She practiced using her HUD, which was getting less jarring, by asking it to identify the surrounding plants.

She hadn’t realized how much she had missed the greenery. The island she had trained on was rugged, and while beautiful in its own way, hadn’t made her feel whole the way the trees did on Isobe.

Ada knew part of her felt this way because she could use the plants’ lifeforce as energy to heal herself, when needed. But Ada knew not to take without giving back; she would always return some of her own lifeforce into helping the flora grow. She felt it was only fair. 

She lay beneath the trees, feeling the ebb and flow of the Force moving between them, within her; always a balance. _Precarious_ , she thought. 

She had been thinking about her father often, as of late. Of course, her mother told Ada all about him when she was growing up. Part of her felt like she knew him even though she could hardly recall any real memories of him. He was almost like a character in a book that her mother made feel so real…

Her father had said that Ada would know what to do with the crystal when the time was right. She had thought that moment was months ago, when she was ready to construct her first lightsaber. But perhaps, the Force had been telling her to wait, instructing her that she still had more to learn. She remembered how it felt to lose it in that cave. Terrifying, really. Not losing the stone, but what its loss had symbolized.

She stroked the crystal’s facets with her fingers, watching its hypnotic glow. Perhaps, this was the moment she was supposed to recognize. Instead of powering her lightsaber, it could power her own personal army.

Ada had conferred with the scientists about the feasibility of upgrading her “teammates” to be able to withstand damage from things like blasters and lightsabers, even cannonfire from an AT-AT. They had gotten to work on procuring the needed materials as quickly as possible. 

Ada wondered how this production was being financed. Perhaps Krindi and her team had worked something out with the Arkanians in exchange for protection, should the time come. Ada thought that was a fair trade, all things considered. 

Perhaps offering her crystal as a power source for her equipment would be her sacrifice for the cause, a way to keep all things in balance. 

The crystal hummed and glowed a little brighter. Ada smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada's journey to Dathomir doesn't go quite as planned.

Several months had passed since Ada offered her crystal in order to power her mech team, providing them with the specs on the inner workings of a lightsaber. The old power cells were failing with the increased demand of power; the engineers were relieved to have even the possibility of a solution to their problem since, without power, the mechs were rather useless. 

As quite possibly the smartest people in the galaxy, Ada had no doubt that Krindi and her team would have the power cell issue resolved once she returned from sabbatical. There were answers she needed that couldn’t be found on Isobe. Ada had been spurred onward by her mother’s death. Ydira passed peacefully in her sleep as Ada kept watch over her one evening. It was a quiet death, an easy passage into the next life, which is all Ada had hoped for. She had mourned her loss with the promise of living up to her mother’s expectations of her.

With her mother gone and the Arkanians hard at work performing tests on her crystal, Ada set out to rendezvous with the Resistance. She needed to speak with General Organa.

Before she had set off, Krindi installed an update for her cybernetics, “It just keeps the system healthy and lets us monitor any bugs,” she had said. Ada still couldn’t totally comprehend part of her brain was being run by machinery.

The people of Isobe had lived a simple, some would say primitive, way of life. Until the Empire came and the Arkanians lent their knowledge of machines to help save the planet. But even still, in many ways, technology and biomechanics made very little sense to her.

Ada used her HUD to help navigate her ship out of the star system and into hyperspace. She had programmed the coordinates of General Organa’s command ship into her onboard nav. Having never been an exceptionally able pilot, Ada was particularly thankful that, whatever the cybernetics were doing, it also put a stop to her debilitating motion sickness. She found that, without the threat of puking all over the control console, she could actually fly a ship halfway decently. 

As she exited hyperspace, she approached the Resistance outpost on the planet, Nyl. Ada guided her ship around the debris that floated in the planet’s orbit, Leia’s cruiser coming into full view as she circled the planet. 

Ada identified herself and the purpose of her visit, and was allowed to disembark in the landing bay. Flying was still, by no means, something she enjoyed very much, and her legs felt shaky as she stepped off her ship. 

Since her Chalice had been undergoing major upgrades, the Arkanians supplied her with one of their flight suits. She removed the pristine white helmet and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

She was met with several commanding officers who escorted her to the General’s private meeting room on the cruiser’s bridge. It was a modest, but comfortable room befitting the simple tastes the Resistance had developed. She stood and stretched, waiting for the General to arrive. Her wait gave her ample time to prepare her various lines of inquiry.

Finally, the door to the meeting room swung open and General Organa swept inside. 

“Ah, Master Zahn,” the General said amiably, “it’s good to see you looking so alive.”

Ada laughed, “I am alive, General, but I’m no Master.”

“Darling, I don’t think the Jedi are in any place to question your training or abilities, at this point. You’re the only one whose whereabouts we know of, so that makes you a Master in my book,” Leia quipped. 

Her phrasing was not lost on Ada, who asked, “The only Jedi whose whereabouts you know of? So… Master Luke is… gone?”

Leia sat down at the table, nodding. “Yes, he’s banished himself to some,” she waved her hand, “speck of rock at the other end of the galaxy. Luke simply couldn’t forgive himself for what - happened with the Jedi. For what happened with Ben.”

“So you and Luke saved me, and then he just - poof -” Ada gestured, “disappeared?” 

“Yep.” Leia said.

“And no one knows where he is?” Ada pressed. 

“Nope,” said Leia, matter of factly. 

Ada scoffed, crossing her arms. “So, he blames himself for what happened - what Ben did, and then he just goes and hides himself away in some hole in the middle of nowhere? You’d think if he felt _that guilty_ that he would want to help fix it.” 

Ada couldn’t believe she was being this candid with General Organa, Luke Skywalker’s sister and leader of the Resistance. But she had gone nearly a year without any answers and complete silence from her former Master; and now she knew why. Because he had scurried himself away, like a coward. 

Leia nodded, not necessarily in agreement, but in understanding. “Luke… isn’t a fighter in the same ways you and I are,” she said, locking eyes with Ada. Her memories were knocked for a loop as she recognized who else had that same hazel gaze… 

Ada broke contact first, her feelings of loss and betrayal threatening to break through her steely resolve. She gathered up as much courage as she could and asked, “What happened to Ben?” she picked at something on the table top. “The last thing I remember was dueling with him when my lightsaber exploded in my face, after he killed all my friends.” Ada didn’t mention that it had been Ben who supplied her with the faulty crystal core. 

Leia closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath before proceeding, “I’m - not certain of Ben’s fate. But, I believe he is now under the tutelage of a new Master in the Dark ways of the Force.”

Ada nodded. “So, he did escape the island. I’m guessing Irlon,” Ada sneered his name, “had something to do with that.”

“Yes,” Leia confirmed, “We believe Irlon aided his escape. In all likelihood, they are training together now, to become stronger in the Dark side and ensure that the Sith and the Empire will rise again.”

“Do you know about Snoke?” Ada asked. 

Leia sighed, “Yes, I do.”

“Ben and I…” Ada began, hesitantly, “Ben and I were connected through the Force. And I learned about Snoke when the Dark side tempted me to follow its path.” She shivered, remembering that awful cave.

“It showed me unimaginable amounts of power… at the cost of everything else. But, in my - visions -” she said, for lack of a better descriptor, “it was I who faced Snoke, it was I who ascended in the Dark side of the Force. I could have done it, but I didn’t want -” Ada pressed her lips together in an effort to keep her voice from trembling.

“I didn’t want him to die,” she finished, not quite being able to meet the General’s eyes. “But,” Ada continued, steeling herself once more, “that was before. That was before I understood the extent of his… corruption.”

At last she looked at the General, her eyes, just like her son’s. “I was supposed to die by his hand. My death was supposed to signal the beginning of his rise to power. I don’t understand how I survived - I shouldn’t have. But I know I’m alive for a reason.”

Ada did not know what that reason was. But what she did know was that Ben thought her dead, and perhaps that could give them the element of surprise they needed to - 

Ada dropped her gaze once more, pushing errant strands of hair out of her face as she said, “He’s broken my body, but not my spirit.,” she said, touching the metal embedded in her face, “I could become strong enough again to - bring the Force back into balance, but,” she paused, straightening herself up, “I need a Master. My Jedi training wasn’t complete and there is still much I need to learn.”

Ada wasn’t completely sure that Leia had even been trained as a Jedi. But she stood in front of this woman, offering to kill her traitor son, so she figured it wouldn’t be all that absurd to ask if she could train her in the Force as well. 

Leia looked at her, knowingly, “I don’t have the skills necessary to train you in the ways of the Force. Plus, your understanding of the Force is well beyond my own. Ada,” Leia said, reaching across the table slightly, “destroying Ben won’t bring balance to the Force. All killing him would do is consume your beautiful spirit, filling it with something evil and poisonous. You know that’s not your path; you chose that long ago, just like Ben chose his path.”

“So, what are we supposed to do? Just let them become stronger? If the Empire has a Sith lord, and possibly two Apprentices, our odds are not looking great. How much does the First Order know of the Resistance?” Ada asked, questions firing rapidly. “How many of their spies exist among our ranks?”

“Luke told me you were on the mission with Ben to expose the mole within the Resistance,” Leia leaned back, tenting her fingers together, “Hux managed to slip through our fingers and escaped with the First Order, but not before throwing his accomplices under the star fighter, so to speak,” she said. “We got a decent amount of information from them. The First Order knows, unfortunately, that the Resistance is working with representatives of Arkanis and Isobe to fortify their planets’ defenses. They do not know the specifics, however.”

 _So that’s how we’re financing mech production_ , Ada thought. “The Arkanians are paying the Resistance to procure raw materials for production… and in exchange, Isobe will supply the completed weapons to both the Resistance and Arkanis…” Ada murmured, her mind wrapping itself around how political war truly was. “How much of this information does the First Order know?”

“They likely know that some kind of arrangement has happened, but they lack knowledge on the specifics of the weaponry… which, I’m sure you’re knowledgeable of by now.”

“Did you make this deal when the Arkanians offered to use me as their test subject?” she questioned, a little testily. Ada hadn’t been too perturbed that the Arkanians saved her life using some of their less-tested tech, but for some reason, this whole business just irked her. She didn’t like feeling like a pawn.

“The arrangement was in the works before your injuries occurred,” Leia said in a measured tone, “but we were able to come to an accord once you were placed into the care of the Arkanians.”

“Was this before or after the spy escaped your custody?” Ada asked. 

“Hux’s cover was blown shortly before the destruction of Jedi. However, he had been in enough inner circles to know more details about the deal than I’m comfortable with.”

“You’re telling me that at any moment the First Order could decide to send a landing party or - I don’t know - an entire fleet to investigate the facilities on Isobe and discover the kind of tech we’re making there? I might be a humble Sephi, but even I know that the First Order would destroy entire planets just to get their hands on that kind of advancement,” Ada huffed, rubbing her hand over her mouth in an attempt to shut it before she said too much. 

“We are closely monitoring the systems around Isobe,” Leia replied, “and will move our fleet there immediately should we notice anything amiss.”

This did little to comfort Ada. If the First Order suspected that the Arkanians were developing next-level weapons, they would sacrifice every single one of their troops in order to get what they wanted. 

Ada shook her head from side to side and leaned forward on the table, “I hope you’re right, General.”

“Me too,” Leia said. 

_So_ , Ada thought as she was escorted back to her ship, _Luke is missing, Ben is well on his way to becoming a Sith Lord, the First Order has knowledge of an agreement between the Resistance and the people of Isobe, and they probably have a fundamental understanding that the Arkanians are building a fleet of incredibly advanced weaponry. Great_ , she thought bitterly. 

Ada didn’t have as much time as she’d hoped. She had to continue her training using the Force, but the path to becoming a Jedi was gone, at this point. There had to be others - other cultures, that were Force-sensitive… 

Her mind was occupied as she entered her ship, conducting pre-flight checks. She flew out of the hangar bay and put the ship in autopilot mode. She needed time to think. 

Her HUD pulled up a map of the galaxy and she zoomed in on her current star system, the Quelli sector in the Outer Rim… Dathomir was nearby. She zoomed in on the planet and recalled the beings known as the Nightsisters, the Witches of Dathomir. 

Ada had heard that they had been all but wiped out well before she was born, but perhaps, there was something to learn by visiting their homeworld. Their interpretation of the Force was vastly different than anything she had been taught as a Jedi, or picked up from her own teachings on Isobe.

Still, Ada was willing to be open-minded if it meant becoming a stronger ally in the Force. She’d have to be careful, though. Dathomir was a planet coated in the Dark magic, but she hoped she was strong enough to recognize danger when she saw it. 

She closed down her HUD and programmed the new coordinates into her ship’s Nav.

“Dathomir, here I come.”

###

Ada did not like this planet. It was dark and swampy, with thick vegetation that made it nearly impossible to find a place to land her ship. She managed to squeeze it into a tiny clearing, just large enough for her ship’s wings to barely brush the trees. 

She disembarked, fetid-smelling swamp water washing over her boots. “Ugh,” she groaned and she started splashing through the ankle-deep muck. She had no idea where she was going, but she trusted her intuition to lead her onward. 

Ada made her way slowly as cool, green mist rose from the marsh, obscuring the way. Not that she was following any path, but it certainly didn’t help that she couldn’t see ten feet in front of her face. 

Once again, Ada pulled up her HUD map, rotating it until she found what she was looking for: the ruins of the Nightsister fortress.

“Show me,” she asked her HUD. Surprisingly, markers illuminated a trail through the dense vegetation and remained glowing even after closing down her HUD.

She struck off, following her HUD’s trail of breadcrumbs. As she pushed deeper into the Dathomir forest, she thought about the Nightsisters and their ability to manipulate the Ichor, the telltale green mist, into solid objects. She had also learned that the Witches could reanimate the dead… That thought made her shiver as she looked up at the trees, dripping with wet, grey moss… this entire planet was like a reanimated corpse, she thought.

Their form of “magick” relied on deception and trickery, and most often the Sisters used it only for their own gain. But, Ada thought, perhaps there was something to be learned from their ways. Plus, from what Ada knew of the Sisters’ definition of magick - that it flowed through blood, mist, and trees - sounded like how she defined the Force. Ada was experimenting with dangerous concepts, but she wanted to know if using the Force in such ways was only considered “dark” if they were used for the wrong purposes.

She had carefully considered her motives before embarking on her journey to meet with General Organa and to try to learn more about the Force. Her feelings needed to be clear.

Ada had never been completely satisfied with the Jedi’s explanation of the Light side of the Force versus the Dark. How or why certain techniques for channeling the Force were deemed good or bad. It seemed to her that the intent behind it should count for something.

She pondered these philosophical quandaries as her trail led her deeper and deeper into the heart of Dathomir. Every now and then, she consulted her HUD map, just to double check she was heading in the right direction. It would be easy to get turned around in here.

In the surrounding trees, creatures were chittering away and howling at one another as the clouds slid over the moon, deepening the shadows around her. But she tread carefully, following the hopeful glow of her illuminated path. 

She had clambered over a downed log and was trying to wipe the muck from her hands when she saw a dark shadow looming in the distance. 

Oh, Kala, I hope I don’t find a rancor… momentarily panicked before she realized she was looking at the crumbling walls of an old stone fortress… Her map confirmed that she had, indeed, found the place. 

She wiped her slimy hands on her pants and moved forward with great trepidation. She really didn’t like this planet, filled with Dark magick as it was. But, curiosity got the better of her, and she carried on. 

Ada climbed over a pile of rubble and into the inner portion of the ruins. It was so dark, Ada could hardly see her surroundings. She stumbled over a rock before finally pulling up her HUD again and checking to see if, perhaps, her own enhancements came with night vision. She found something that seemed promising, a feature that could enhance her vision based on environmental stimuli. Suddenly, the images in her left eye brightened considerably, although mostly in shades of grey, she could see well into the ever-present shadows.

It took her brain a moment to process these two very different ways of interpreting light stimuli, but eventually it caught up and her right eye compensated. 

Ada blew out a breath and continued in her search for answers within the ruins. There was much to learn about Dathomir magick. Most of what Ada had learned from the Jedi was that the Witches could use it to manipulate and deceive their enemies, torturing them over great distances, but their Magick could also heal. 

And, despite Ada’s and the Arkanian’s best efforts, she was still struggling to repair the nerve damage to her left side. For several weeks now, she would be stricken by crippling migraines that lasted for several hours; they were becoming more frequent, she realized, as she recovered more memories of her past. 

No amount of tinkering with her interface or her own brand of self-healing seemed to alleviate her pain. She hoped to gain further insight into how she might begin a path to full - or at least a less excruciating - recovery.

Of course, she thought, Magick could also bring dead things back to life, which, in Ada’s opinion, wasn’t totally ideal. 

According to the teachings of the last Nightsister, Shelish, anyone attuned to the Force could theoretically learn to use Magick. What Ada searched for now was a clue as to where she could locate the special energized mist that would transform her blood to ichor in order to channel Magick. She didn’t doubt that there would be tribulations along the way in this quest, she just hoped those obstacles wouldn’t involve a rancor.

Breathing deeply, she channeled the Force, neither Light nor Dark, only seeking the truth. _I promise to use this knowledge for the betterment of my people_ , Ada said as she sought guidance from this higher power, _but I have to help myself before I can help anyone else_. 

Try though she might, it was a constant battle to remember everything that had happened to her; perhaps, part of her was trying to protect her psyche from retraumatization, like Krindi said. But Ada had to know her own story; those missing pieces left dangerous holes in her plan to take down the First Order… and Ben Solo. 

If Dathomir Magick could restore the missing pieces of herself, she’d drag herself through hell again in order to do it. 

_I promised myself I’d never go back into that cave, yet here I am_. She grappled with her sense of right and wrong, good and evil, Light and Dark. Ada had told herself that what happened in the cave was a particularly vile strain of the Dark side of the Force, one Snoke was a master of. Ada hoped Dathomir Magick was different and could be used to channel the Light.

Or she could, of course, be completely delusional.

Ada swallowed her self-doubt as something nudged her deeper into the fortress. Her night vision illuminated the deepest shadows near the walls. Beneath a crumbling statue was a large chest. 

_Open it_. It wasn’t the first time she’d heard something instructing her, its voice carrying on the wind, echoing within her own mind.

She knelt down in front of the chest and made to open the lid. Locked. She looked around and picked up a heavy stone. She struck the lock several times before it broke open.

As she pried the lid open, a puff of dust escaped from the interior of the chest. It smelled like old… bandages. “Ugh,” she held an arm over her nose to mask the smell, but realized her arm was also covered in swamp muck.

“Gahhh, gross!” she said, finding a clean patch on her tunic and wiping her face. Turning her attention back to the chest, she peered down at its contents.

Ada pulled her handy HUD up again and analyzed the weapons within the chest. An obsidian scythe - her HUD flashed a warning at her - highly toxic should she cut herself with its blade. “Great,” she muttered.

Next, she picked up a roll made out of something that looked like… skin. She gasped and dropped the disgusting thing on the ground. “Ohh,” she shivered, shaking the tremors out of her hands. The skin, she suspected, was human or humanoid because she could see some of the leathery material had tattoos… one piece had the name “Joanie” with a heart around it…

She took a moment to gather her courage, then pulled gently at the string that prevented the contents from falling out. She delicately unrolled it, expecting the worst. 

Knives, different sizes. All obsidian, by the looks of it. These, too, imbued with deadly toxins. She knew she had to take the weapons seeing as she had none, not even a lightsaber, although that might work in her favor on Dathomir. The Witches didn’t trust the Jedi. 

Ada took one last look into the chest. At the bottom, tucked away in a corner, was a rather large claw - Rancor, according to her HUD. This claw was attached to a string, which she slung around her neck. Ada knew, if she made it far enough, she’d had to imbue a talisman with the ichor in order to use Magick later, when she was away from Dathomir. 

“Okay, let's do this.”

Carefully, she slid the knives into her waist belt and carried the scythe in her hand. Ada tucked the Rancor claw into the front of her shirt, thinking fondly of her crystal, which was much less creepy. 

She set off deeper into the woods in search of the elusive green mist. 

###

Ada felt like she had been walking for hours having bushwhacked her way through insanely dense underbrush when she came upon a small clearing. She didn’t doubt that the Force was leading her in the right direction, but she wondered if it could have chosen an easier path. 

Her left shoulder was starting to ache, the ligaments becoming inflamed from over-exertion. Ada paused to stretch it out a bit, relieving a little bit of the tension. She was just about to continue on when she heard a rustling sound in front of her. The rustling grew louder and louder until it was no longer a rustle, but the sound of several small trees getting snapped in half.

Ada didn’t dare move a muscle as the gigantic form moved in closer. She had stumbled upon a rancor’s den. 

She knew rancors were terribly shortsighted, so perhaps if she just stood still long enough, it would go away --

It sniffed at the air. _Shit_ , she thought, i _t can smell me._

Just then, the ugly beast let out a huge roar, spittle flying from its foul-smelling mouth, baring its massive teeth. She peeked out from the tree she was hiding behind and her HUD pulled up quick datapoints on the rancor. She quickly scanned them.

 _Semi-sentient, armored hides, formidable predator_ …. There was no way she was going to take this thing down with a few knives…

… _inherently benign and domesticated by the Witches of Dathomir_ , she read. Perhaps… it was a reckless idea but, she stepped out from behind her tree and faced the beast head-on. 

Upon seeing her move, it let out a ferocious roar. 

“Easy,” she said, trying to talk it down, “easy there.”

Ada channeled the Force or Magick or whatever the hell it was that would let her get past this monster unscathed. 

“Shh…” she whispered to it. The rancor growled but seemed amenable to not eating her.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Ada whispered, “I promise.” She couldn’t hurt it if she tried. Another growl, only this one was more like a groan. 

“That’s it,” she cooed, “Good Beasty. Let little Ada go on by and we’ll pretend we never saw each other.”

Ada one hand held in front of her as the rancor dipped its head, nostrils flaring, taking in her scent.

It stepped close to her, she could feel the air stir around her with each of its mighty breaths. Ada held her own breath as she stood perfectly still and the rancor… sniffed her hand, nudging it with its flat nose.

Slowly, she let out her breath. It wasn’t going to hurt her unless she hurt it first. She let her fingers curl as she stroked its nose, which was covered in snot.

“Yeah, that’s nasty,” keeping her tone pleasant. The rancor closed its tiny eyes (compared to the rest of its body) and leaned into her touch.

It was… kind of sweet. The rancor finally lifted its head and began to move back toward its den as Ada slowly edged toward the perimeter of the clearing. Once she was back among the trees, she put her hands on her knees and took a few deep breaths.

 _Rancors like their noses petted; who knew?_ she thought wildly. Just past the clearing, the path opened up, revealing a distinct way forward. Ada reached out with her senses to feel if this was some kind of trick, but she sensed no deception. Perhaps the rancor had been a gatekeeper to this secret place and had deemed her worthy. 

As she walked along the path, the persistent green mist parted for her, allowing her to see farther for the first time since she stepped foot on this planet. She stopped in her tracks. Ahead of her, a faint, glowing green. She squinted, trying to understand what she was looking at. Timidly, she walked closer to the mysterious substance. As she approached, the source of the substance became clear: a small pool at the base of a massive, twisted tree. It reminded her of a larger version of the Brylark tree on the Jedi island…

She neared it and noticed there were things hanging from its branches. She remembered reading that the Nightsisters mummified their dead and hung them in cocoons from their trees. 

“Oh, Force protect me,” she whispered as the shrouds moved gently with the breeze, like sadistic windchimes. 

Walking quietly to the edge of the pool, Ada dropped to her knees and leaned back on her heels, trying to relax enough to summon the Force… or channel her Magick. 

_What are you doing here?_ At first she thought it was the familiar sound of the Force guiding her, but she realized that someone or something had whispered into her ear from behind her.

She gasped and turned quickly. A faint green shimmer of a… woman? She squinted, trying to make out the apparition. 

_What do you want from this place?_ It said again. Ada licked her lips remembering that the Nightsisters could reanimate the dead and channel their spirits to roam the surface of their planet for eternity. Death truly meant nothing to them.

“Shelish?” Ada whispered into the dark. 

_Answer me_.

“I - I come seeking answers. About your Magick, about the Force,” Ada said, hoping she wouldn’t say anything to offend this spirit.

“I wish you no ill-will,” Ada continued when the spectre remained silent. 

The apparition laughed. _Oh, good_ , it said. Ada didn’t know ghosts could be sarcastic. _And for what purposes do you seek our knowledge?_

“I was nearly killed by a Dark force user. I survived, obviously, but only just. I have been unable to fully heal myself using my own… methods. I come seeking advice and… a solace from this pain.”

 _Existence is painful_ , the spirit said. Someone once told Ada that dying was easy, but living was hard. In that moment, she didn’t think wiser words had ever been said.

“I’m so tired,” Ada continued, “but I can’t give up. My journey isn’t over, but I’ll never be able to see it through if I don't - save myself. Because no one else can.”

She sensed the apparition move. Ada didn’t dare look up until it commanded that she do so. 

_Look at me_ , it said, hovering above the pool of green mist. Ada did as it commanded. For a moment, the specter just hung there, watching her. Then,

 _Lower your talisman into the pool and breathe deeply of the ichor_. The mist began to swirl, the surface of the water rippling outwards. Ada removed the talisman from her neck and dipped it into the water. 

_Drink of it, and let the ichor into your veins_. Ada moved the dripping rancor claw over her mouth and allowed a few drops to fall into her mouth. The water tasted strangely sweet.

 _Breathe_ , the apparition commanded as the mist swirled around her. Ada doubled over, feeling like her blood was turning to stone. She groaned in agony.

_You must prove yourself worthy of possessing the ichor. Fight its poison._

Black streaks had started running up Ada’s arms, her body began to spasm. 

_No!_ she thought fiercely. She hadn’t come all this way just to die in this fucking swamp. She focused not on the sludge that had started replacing her blood, but instead on what she wanted to become.

 _Stronger. To remember my past, all of it. To save my people and the galaxy from tyranny._ She focused on the people she loved and missed: her mother; her friend, Jenuri; Cal, stolen by the First Order; Master Skywalker; and… Ben, always Ben.

Gritting her teeth, she stood, and controlled the pain coursing through her. It slowly started the dissipate and her breathing began to return to normal. Her skin felt pallid and there was a thick sheen of cold sweat on her skin, but she hoped the worse would be over now. Ada focused on clearing out the rest of the toxins from her body.

 _Good_ , the spirit said. _Now, if you can just escape, you’ll be a worthy wielder of our Magick._

“What?” Ada snapped her head around to look at the apparition, which had started laughing again.

 _You’d better start running, Ada._ The cocoons in the tree had started quaking, thrashing around - something in them - alive. 

Ada took off running through the forest, the path forward no longer clear as the mist clung to the ground in front of her. 

Scythe in hand she slashed at the brambles that snagged at her clothes, like so many rancor’s teeth. 

Breathing hard she shouted at her HUD, “Show me!” and a path was illuminated. The mist was getting thicker now, more of a fog. She could hear the things scuttling along behind her. Ada felt like her heart was in her throat, pounding, as if sensing its death was near. 

She heard the things scurrying, crunching over fallen leaves and sticks, getting closer, closer. Her eyes widened with abject terror as panic threatened to overwhelm her. But she kept fleeing. 

Something was in the trees. She saw it out of the corner of her eye; a waif-like being following her every move… through the trees.

Ada stifled a scream and thrashed through the undergrowth, thorns and branches clawing at her face and then - 

a thin, decayed hand ripped at her tunic from the branches above, surprisingly strong, its nails sharpened like claws.

Ada screamed, feeling its talons digging into her flesh. It landed on her from above, pushing her to the ground as it clawed at her face and screamed a piercing, harrowing scream that raised the hairs on the back of Ada’s neck.

 _They can reanimate corpses_ , she thought as she fended off the creature. Undead Nightsisters. 

Ada rolled, unbalancing the Undead and throwing it off of her. Ada leapt to her feet just as the thing’s claws reached for her face and buried the scythe into its skull. It wailed and then turned to ash.

Ada sprinted off in the direction of her path, more of them crashing in the trees behind her. She was never going to be able to fend off all of them…

She placed a hand on her shoulder to see how much blood she was losing - her hand came up clean. _What?_ Ada looked down quickly at her arm to see three small scratches where there should have been a gaping wound. The scratches glowed faintly green. 

They were thrashing behind her in the woods, gaining on her as she burst into the rancor den. She stumbled over a rock and regained her footing just as three of them pounced on her at once. 

As the three corpses tore at anything they could reach, Ada rolled and kicked and bucked to try to knock them off. They were vicious, and strong - screeching, their desecrated mouths opened wider than she thought possible, while trying to tear her to shreds. Then, Ada heard the bloodthirsty roar of the rancor, which swatted the Undead off of her. It bit one in half, which promptly turned to dust.

Ada wasted no time watching the rancor take on a horde of Undead Nightsisters as she pumped her legs faster in order to escape. She told her HUD to prep the ship for launch and have it rendezvous with her as she reached the temple. She broke through the trees and stumbled into the fortress, breathing so hard the air hurt her lungs.

The exhaust from her ship rustled the leaves of the trees and she was reminded, unpleasantly, of the scurrying noises of the Undead… Her ship lowered itself enough so that she could Force jump onto the boarding ramp, pulling herself into the safety of the ship’s cockpit. Ada got her ship into orbit around Dathomir, but thought she could still hear the wails of the Nightsisters.


	15. Chapter 15

Ada dreamed of Ben every night since Dathomir. Sometimes, her dreams were of him planting kisses along her neck, stroking her, holding her… She remembered his laugh, and how innocent he looked when he truly smiled. 

Other times, she was reminded of his ruthlessness, his unending thirst for power when he closed his fist and crushed her friends in midair. She remembered the look on his face when she realized his deception with the synthcrystal - he didn’t have the courage, the spine, to strike her down himself. 

_Destiny, my ass_ , she thought one morning, waking up after another one of these lucid dreams. After Dathomir, Ada had stopped over on Onderon to resupply before making the journey back to Isobe. 

She looked over at the guy lying in bed next to her. She couldn’t remember his name, not that it really mattered. He was lying on top of the sheets, stark naked. She sighed. 

Last night was a bit of a blur… After barely escaping with her life (again) on Dathomir, Ada had concluded that physical existence was too short not to live a little. 

So, she made landfall and rested at a small port at Middle-of-Fucking-Nowhere, Onderon. That had been a week ago, now. And this was the third man she had brought back to the tiny room she rented out. 

She rubbed her face to try to ease the headache creeping at the edge of her brain. Ada found out that she wouldn’t get hungover if she just stayed drunk. She snorted as she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

After Dathomir, and her near-death experience at the hands of an angry horde of undead witches, Ada needed to feel alive in some way, shape, or form. And nothing reminded a fool that existence was painful like a hangover from an Onderian Bottle Rocket, several of which she had sucked down like juice… 

“Oh, mercy,” she groaned. Her bedmate snored a little and rolled over, stretching. 

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he said, roguishly. Now she remembered why she had taken this one back to her bed. Not all of them stayed handsome the morning after, but he certainly did. 

“Morning,” she grunted, running a hand through her hair. She picked a decorative cocktail umbrella out of it. Good grief. 

Ada felt like she was pushing her luck, staying at this port. She needed to get back to Isobe.

The place she was staying didn’t have running water, so she walked out to the yard and over to the well, where she dunked her head in a trough of cold water. 

She came up spluttering and gasping for air, but it cleared her head considerably. She walked back inside her shabby room, dripping water all over the floor, and started throwing things back into her bag.

“Leaving so soon?” her guest asked. Ada nodded.

“But last night was so fun. You sure you can’t stay a while longer?” He was clearly wanting to get her back in bed. For a moment, she considered. Last night had been fun. Darren - Donniel - Dash? - whatever his name was had been quite a lively lay… but she had to get home. 

She’d been gone far longer than she intended and she had work - actual responsibilities - to tend to. 

“Sorry, handsome,” she said, giving him a wink, “Another time.” And she strode out of the doorway, toward her ship, which her HUD had readied for takeoff. Its engines roared to life as she approached and she strolled onto the boarding ramp just as it touched the ground, only to have it immediately lift as she breezed her way into the cockpit. 

She shook a couple painkillers as well as a few antacids into her hand and swallowed them dry. 

She felt different after ingesting the ichor of Dathomir. She couldn’t really explain it but… she did feel stronger, more sure of herself than she had in months - years, even. Memories of her Jedi training had come flooding back, but they hadn’t hurt her like they used to. She could remember Ben, now, without feeling like someone drove a stake through her heart. 

In fact, she had started to examine their relationship, if that’s what it was, more clearly. She had loved Ben Solo, she could admit that, but she knew she could also face the fact that the choices he had made, the choices he would make, were vile. Aligning himself with an entity that held such little regard for life was, in her mind, unforgivable. 

She wondered if all Sith were like that bloated carcass she saw in the cave. Were they all so greedy, so selfish - only forming relationships with others in order to exploit them? Who would want to live a life like that?

_Someone who had been exploited and discarded all his life by the people he cared about._

Ada had considered Ben’s relationship with his parents, and while she had never met Han Solo, she could imagine Ben’s childhood as being very lonely. A mother, constantly caring for the New Republic in its infancy; his father, unable to sit still and be present for even a moment. Constantly moving their family around, never giving Ben a chance to grow up, have friends; never having a say in who he wanted to be, how he wanted to master his incredible power.

His grandfather having been one of the most heinous villains the galaxy had ever seen, only to be redeemed in death. So choose, Ben - a hero or a villain? Nothing in between; there was no space of Ben Solo to just be, to make mistakes without the scrutiny of an entire galaxy.

And his uncle, who confirmed his worst fears - that everyone thought of him as a monster. And maybe they were right; maybe he was.

But Snoke valued his monstrous tendencies. Instead of turning away from Ben’s darker predilections, he offered Ben the nurture and guidance he always wanted, even if Snoke was twisted and cruel in his lessons.

She understood it, because she recognized those same tendencies in herself, sometimes. 

But Ada grew up with stability, even after the loss of her father; her mother was always a loving presence; she had friends who protected her and whom she could protect, in turn; she had a community of people she cared about and a planet to save. These attachments, these relationships, kept her from careening over the precipice and into the Dark - at least in part.

She disagreed with the Jedi in their belief that attachments were a path to the Dark side, and she despised that the Sith gloried in the fact that they couldn’t trust another living soul. 

Jedi who couldn’t master their fear of death, of loss, rightfully resented the Dark side for the relief it offered, Ada thought, and so closed themselves off from their emotions, from passion, so as to never be tempted to twist their fear into something unnatural. 

Ada didn’t want to live a life of these two extremes.

Attachments, bonds, passion, love made beings stronger in the Force, but those strong in the Force also had to be willing to let go of the power granted to them through those bonds, when it was time. All things in balance, life and death. Beginnings and endings. 

Ben had… nothing. Nothing to care about, not even himself, and no one, he felt, to care for him. Except Snoke. Except the First Order. It wasn’t love, what the Dark side offered. It was respect; a form of love, Ada supposed. But respect born of fear was not love; it wasn’t even admiration. 

She hoped it would be enough for him.

###

Immediately after landing on Isobe, Ada met up with Krindi, who was talking very fast about the strides they had made with her mechs. They had upgraded the plating on the Chalice with the materials they discussed previously (“We had a little snafu on Mandalore, but it all worked out in the end”), redesigned some of the weapons to Ada’s specifications, and successfully installed the newest version of the cybernetics programming. Ada added the poisoned Dathomir knives to the Chalice’s growing collection of weaponry.

Big Daddy got a host of upgrades to his armor plating, weapons systems, and interface - not to mention a shiny new paint job. 

Both her mech suit and Titan looked sharp after the Arkanians had finished their tweaks. Both of them gleamed a deadly, dark bluish-grey, depending on how the light hit it. “We thought the color would be suitable in terms of camouflage in a number of situations,” Krindi quipped.

She regaled Ada with the tales of her Sorian crystal, their struggle adapting its unique energy signature with their new power cells, but in the end, it worked beautifully. 

“During the test runs, the batteries never drained past half-life. Because we wove the armor with Cortosis mesh, which absorbs the expended energy of blasters, explosions, what have you - we were able to figure out a way to convert that energy into stored energy within the power cell, thanks to your crystal and the information you provided about the lightsabers.” 

Ada nodded, eyes wide, trying to absorb the words that were flying out of Krindi’s mouth. Even if her brain could process information 200 times faster now, it still struggled to keep up with Krindi’s mind.

“Wow, Krindi. You guys really outdid yourselves this time.” She clapped a hand on Krindi’s shoulder. She flashed Ada a toothy grin, clearly very satisfied with their work.

“Sooo,” Krindi drawled, “do you want to tell me about your little adventure?”

Ada told Krindi about her meeting with General Organa, but conveniently left out details about her other excursions. “Given that we have to provide mechs to both the Arkanians and the Resistance, how quickly do you think you can ramp up production? It's only a matter of time before the First Order decides to investigate the information their spy gave them,” Ada said.

“Well, we’ve already started increasing our orders for all the materials we can’t produce on-planet,” Krindi said, “and we’re pushing our assembly lines to full capacity in the next week. We should see a production increase of the Titans by 50% by the end of the cycle. Unfortunately,” Krindi continued, “the Chalices take much longer to produce correctly, and much more can go wrong during their assembly; they require a more hands-on approach. But, the Titans can still be operated efficiently and effectively, even without state-of-the-art cybernetics and biomechanical engineering,” Krindi finished.

Ada felt more at ease about the production levels of the Titans. Even if there weren’t enough mech suits, having more Titans on the ground could only serve to help.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada reunites with an old fling and discovers he's learned some new tricks.

Over the next month, Ada helped the Arkanians conduct numerous tests and pilots of their equipment, including several surface walks to test the durability of Big Daddy and the Chalice. Both performed exceedingly well in that Ada wasn’t poisoned by toxic sludge. 

One of the most exciting advantages of the new tech was the ability to override other mechs. Krindi’s team had developed a way to broadcast the override signal on a specific frequency via the Titans, which meant the people of Isobe at last had a solution to their overaggressive mech problem. Plus, the thought of a giant sabercat ripping the arm off a Stormtrooper brought Ada unimaginable joy - since the planet-side mechs would now follow their commands. 

She had been paired, on more than one occasion, with Rusk on several of these surface walk missions. They also attended many meetings of the Elders together, discussing ways to better fortify their base in the event of any invasion. Ada couldn’t believe how much time had changed him. He’d grown into his boyish good looks since she’d been gone and she couldn’t help feeling nostalgic about her old fling. 

They’d had some time to get to know one another again after having served together as Junior Representatives on the Council of Elders many, many moons ago. Rusk continued in his career in politics, until his interests were better served by forming Isobe’s first organized militia. He was studying the military careers of some of the greatest fighters in the galaxy, trying to better understand the ways of warfare.

Ada didn’t totally comprehend his zeal for brutal things like war and couldn’t see the connection between the teenager wanting to better his society diplomatically and the man prepared to kill in order to defend it.

“Politics and war always go hand in hand,” Rusk had told her one evening as they ate a quiet dinner together in the terrarium, lounging beneath the trees. 

Perhaps, Ada pondered, she’d been naive. Of course, wars were almost always political and anyone playing a role in them, no matter how small, was always playing politics. She thought about how she had felt when the Jedi had acted on the Resistance’s behalf in order to discover the spy in their ranks - she had felt bitter, used.

Rusk made her question certain beliefs she’d always held to be true, telling her that there were always - at least - two sides to every conflict.

“Everyone’s the hero in their own story,” Rusk said between bites, “No one wants to think of themselves as the villains, not even us. But I guarantee you, the First Order has their reasons for doing things the way they do and it’s not just about spilling innocent blood and destroying planets. It’s something deeper and more complex, and we’d be smart to figure out what it is.”

“Evil is subjective,” Ada said. Rusk tilted his head to the side and considered that opinion. 

“To some degree,” he said, “There are certain acts I think we all consider to be purely evil, but it’s more shades of grey than black and white.”

“You almost sound… empathetic toward your enemy,” Ada said, not accusatory, merely observing.

“Some of the greatest warriors history has ever known were the most empathetic,” he said quietly. “If you can’t empathize with your enemy, you can’t understand them. When you can’t understand them, their life ceases to have any meaning for you. And that’s not what war should be about.”

Ada put her fork down. “My understanding of war,” she said, choosing her words wisely, “is the complete opposite of your definition. Why should we want to feel for our enemy when they’re the ones trying to harm us? Doesn’t our inability to understand them make it easier to… eliminate them?”

“The cycle of violence has to stop somewhere, Ada,” Rusk said, “In all likelihood, that place isn’t war. But wars should be fought to ultimately preserve life, not to kill with impunity.”

Ada smiled at him. “You could’ve been --” She had almost told him he could have been a great Jedi, but caught herself at the last minute. Rusk didn’t know she had left to become a Jedi - he thought she took a Senatorial internship on Naboo.

“You could’ve been a great Senator,” she told him. 

“Come on,” he said, standing up and gathering his things, “I have something I want to share with you.”

He led her back to his room and she wondered, butterflies in her stomach, where else this could lead.

Rusk rummaged around in his wardrobe, eventually pulling out a bottle. 

“Do you remember when we’d have to smash the Goja berries in those huge buckets with our feet?” he asked, smiling.

Ada laughed, head tipping back as the memory flooded her mind. “Oh, my goodness, yes! We looked forward to it all year!”

“Well, this is a bottle of the finest vintage Goja wine from the very last season,” he handed it to her. Ada read the label; it had been casked three years ago. Suddenly, she felt very sad. Nothing they were doing here would ever bring back the past; nothing would ever be the way it had been, for better or worse. 

She handed the bottle back to him, by which time he’d found a bottle opener and uncorked it.

“Are you sure you want to drink it?” Ada asked, “It could be the last bottle in existence for all we know.”

Rusk looked at her, a sadness creeping into his gaze as well. “What good is remembering the past if you can’t enjoy it in the present?” he said. 

“When the hell did you get so wise?” she laughed, taken aback by his sageness. He smiled and poured her a glass.

“To enjoying the present,” Ada toasted.

“And remembering the past,” he finished. They sipped at the deep red wine; it tasted smooth but not too sweet, with the slightest tang. Ada had never tasted anything like it.

“I uh,” Rusk looked somewhat uncomfortable as he scratched the back of his head, “I also wanted to show you something else. I, uh, wrote them for you before you left.” He handed her a small stack of paper, some of which had been crumpled up and smoothed out, or otherwise folded numerous times. 

“I wanted to give them to you before, but I never had the courage,” he said. Ada looked at the letters, biting her lip. 

“Did you - “ she said, trying not to giggle. She wasn’t trying to be mean, she was just surprised. Ada hadn’t remembered their relationship as being overly-romantic, “- write me letters?”

“Just read them,” he groaned, wiping his hand over his mouth.

She unfolded the first one. It read:

_Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
Sephi are courageous,  
And so are you._

_Orchids are white,  
Ghost ones are rare,  
Marbles are shiny,  
And so is your hair._

Ada burst out laughing; she couldn’t help it. It was the sweetest thing she’d ever read; insight into this teenaged boy’s heart. Rusk laughed with her.

“I think they get better after that one,” he said, taking another big gulp of his wine. She did the same before reading the next poem:

_Ode to Ada_

_A tear in the eye  
like a golden shooting star  
a heart, a mirror, your body_

_I gaze upon your scarlet smile, for we are  
connected together, I offer you  
I give you my soul  
I melt in your love._

This one had a different tenor. She re-read it, then fanned herself with the paper, giving Rusk a gentle smile.

“I didn’t know you felt like this,” she said to him, huskily. He grinned at her sheepishly. Ada read the last poem:

_I really believed it was forever  
our bodies were joined,  
I gave you my heart  
facing the fog of war  
I shared with you a truth_

_I miss you_

_Say good night  
your love faded by life's constant toll  
the pain plagues  
your memory is my only companion_

_Now, I am only memories._

She blinked, tears forming unbidden in her eyes. She’d had no idea he was… had been so taken with their relationship, what they had. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you felt like this?” she asked him.

“Ah, you know, it was hard being a teenager in love. We’ve both had to grow up a lot,” he said, looking down into the glass he held between his knees.

Ada placed the papers on his bed and slid off so she was kneeling on the floor in front of him. She took his hands in hers. 

“I’m sorry I was so clueless,” she smiled, “Honestly, I thought you were only seeing me as a summer fling.”

“I don’t think I really knew myself until it was too late. You’d already packed your bags,” he said.

“What about now?” she asked.

“Now?” he leaned back, placing his glass on the nightstand by his bed and stretched his arms above his head, “Now, I guess I’d be willing to give you another shot,” he winked at her and tried not to laugh.

Ada bit her lip, her hands on the tops of his thighs. She gave his leg a playful slap. “Oh yeah?” she teased. Rusk leaned forward, placing his hands on hers and whispered, “I could be persuaded.”

She licked her lips and pulled his mouth to hers. His hands moved up Ada’s neck and wove their way into her hair, loosening it from her bun. She trailed her fingers over his cheek, the stubble of his beard rasping against her fingertips. She wondered what his stubble would feel like between her thighs.

Rusk nipped at her bottom lip as his hands moved down her back. She clutched the front of his shirt and pulled him up from the chair as he cupped her ass in his hands. He groaned lightly and pushed her gently onto the bed.

Rusk pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his chiseled physique. Ada swallowed thickly as he tossed his shirt aside, desire pulsing through her veins. 

Rusk climbed onto the bed, positioning himself between her thighs, propping himself up, his lips found hers once more. His tongue darted in and out of her mouth as his hand meandered to her breast. He squeezed tenderly, eliciting a soft moan from Ada. Her breathing quickened as he kissed along her neck.

She could feel him harden as he moved himself against her. Ada ran her hands along his back, gliding over his hips as Rusk sat up, straddling her, and pulled her shirt over her head. Ada yanked off her bra and flung it away. 

She reclined back onto the bed, his eyes, bright with lust, drank her in. Ada reached up and undid the top button of his pants, dipping her finger below the waistline. 

He leaned forward, kissing her breasts, tongue flicking over her nipples, his fingers curling beneath the waist of her pants, shimmying them down. 

Just in her underwear now, Ada watched as Rusk’s fingers dug into the flesh of her hips as he kissed her stomach, making his way back to her breasts.

His hand caressed her sex through her underwear, the feeling of the fabric rubbing against her sensitive skin made her wet. She moaned as he sucked her nipple into his mouth. 

Rusk stroked her pussy, slipping a finger beneath her underwear and testing her wetness. “Mmm,” he groaned against her, satisfied. He then sat up and rolled her underwear down her legs, sliding his fingers over her opening and brushing them against her clit, massaging it.

Back arching slightly as that familiar sensation began to build, she held her own breasts in her hands, tugging lightly as her nipples. 

“Put your fingers inside me,” she gasped as he continued stroking her.

Rusk obliged, slipping two fingers into her pussy and starting slowly thrusting them in and out. He curled them inside her, hitting that sensitive spot. “Oh, shit Rusk,” she whimpered. He continued his rhythm until she couldn’t handle the sensation any longer; her orgasm was intense - quick pulsing waves of pleasure washed over her.

Her breathing ragged, she lay prone, watching Rusk take off his pants and move between her legs once more. She reached down and stroked him as he kissed her; he groaned into her mouth as her hand pumped up and down on his cock. 

Once more, he leaned back, positioning the head of cock between her legs and pushing himself inside her. He felt good, and she felt her body responding to him once more. 

He pushed her thighs apart by putting his hands on her knees. He held her like that as he picked up his pace. She reached between her legs and started stroking her clit, moaning his name. “Harder,” she begged. He repositioned himself deeper inside her and fucked her hard, putting his hand on her throat and tightening his grip slightly.

After first, she was a little afraid, given her history of being choked. But the pressure he applied was light and the pleasure that had been building between her legs intensified as her blood flow was impeded. 

Rusk pounded into her, tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes as she crested her next orgasm, the pleasure so great it was almost painful. She felt her eyes roll back in her head as Rusk let go of her throat, giving her a light slap on the face as she came around him hard, sucking in a lungful of air. It didn’t stop; she was seized by another wave of pleasure and another, screaming his name as tears stained her cheeks. She gasped as he repositioned again, pulling her on top of him. Her legs were slicked with her own juices, as was his stomach.

“Oh, my - Oh, my -” she said as he thrust up into her. Ada didn’t know what planet she was on any more. Rusk’s hands on her hips dictated her pace, matching his thrust for thrust. She planted her hands on his chest and screamed a stream of obscenities, throwing her head back, and just let whatever was happening to her body happen.

Rusk thrust into her furiously, and watched as her nipples hardened like little pebbles and goosebumps broke out across her skin. She moved her hands back and rested them on his thighs. She reached a hand between her legs and stroked her clit again. Ada growled like a wild beast, sweat dripping down her neck, coating her tits and sliding down her stomach.

“Fuck!” she yelled, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Another crushing crescendo of a release, her nails digging into his thigh, her head tipped back as pleasure ripped through her. She was vaguely aware of Rusk’s release as he gritted his teeth and moaned her name, his hands gripping her hips, his thrusts slowing, breathing heavy. She collapsed on top of him and rolled off, waiting for the feeling in her legs to return.

“Oh my, stars,” she panted. He smiled, eyes closed, chest heaving. “Where… where did you learn to do that?” she asked.

“Oh, here and there,” he said coyly. 

“Here and there, huh?” she turned her head toward his and arched an eyebrow. He grinned as he rolled toward her, wrapping his arms around her. He ran his thumb across her cheek, wiping the remaining wetness on her face away. 

“A tear in the eye like a golden shooting star…” he whispered, a longing in his kiss.

###

The room buzzed with excitement during the next morning’s meeting. Something had happened during the night that had people whispering to one another. Ada had stayed with Rusk and they accompanied each other to the briefing.

Krindi stood in front of the crowd and cleared her throat politely. The room quieted, waiting for the news.

“We have some exciting developments to share with you all. Last night, one of our scouting teams discovered the last underground refinery.”

The room erupted in applause.

“Yes, this is good news, indeed,” Krindi nodded and smiled, but Ada sensed something else.

“At long last, we can shut down the production in the mines and stop the poisoning of Isobe,” she said.

Another round of applause.

“That said,” Krindi continued, “shutting down the refineries will severely limit the raw materials we use to create our mechs. We are doing all we can to secure new sources of material, but such things take time.” She paused a moment before continuing.

“Of course, our number one priority is the health of Isobe and Her inhabitants, and therefore, the refineries will be shut down as soon as possible. However, production of the mechs will be stalled in the near future until we can secure alternative materials,” she concluded.

Ada knew the Resistance was aiding the Arkanians in their search for suitable alternate materials with which to continue building their mechs. She only hoped they could secure those resources soon.

“We will be forming more recon teams in order to shut down these plants safely, after which, we will double our efforts to clean up the toxic runoff and dispose of it,” one of the Elders said. Ada was surprised to see an Elder in the room; she hadn’t seen anyone but the Arkanians and Sephi in these meetings in quite some time. 

Krindi nodded and said, “Please refer to your morning updates on your data pad as this situation evolves and thank you, in advance, to those of you willing to volunteer for this mission.”

The people in the room dispersed. 

Ada turned to Rusk, “I’ll catch up with you later; I need to chat with Krindi.”

Ada waited until the room was nearly empty and found Krindi. 

“I’d like to be a part of the ongoing discussions with the Resistance,” Ada said as Krindi turned to her after wrapping up a conversation with her colleague.

“Oh?” Krindi blinked a couple of times.

“Yes,” Ada continued, “I think I’m knowledgeable enough to be able to contribute to the conversation and strategy; I have a good deal of insight given my… background. I could be an asset to both Isobe and the Resistance.”

Krindi nodded, and after a moment of consideration, said, “We have a meeting with Resistance leaders in an hour. Can you join us?”

“I’ll be there.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it's not one thing, it's another. Ada and Rusk help destroy the mines, only to be met with another problem.

The holograms of the Resistance leaders floated ghostly blue in front of Ada. 

“We have word that the First Order is searching for Master Luke Skywalker in what we can only assume is an attempt to assassinate the last Jedi,” Vice Admiral Holdo said. 

Krindi made eye contact with Ada from across the room. Almost no one knew that Ada had trained as a Jedi, and it became glaringly apparent that it would be better for her if it stayed that way.

“Disturbing evidence had surfaced from the planet Pillio,” Holdo’s face disappeared and was replaced by a holo-recording of a large room. “This is footage stolen from Jinata security inside the Emperor’s Observatory,” she explained.

Ada felt her pulse quicken as she watched the holo-recording. She saw a man on his knees in the middle of the observatory. Then a hulking figure clad in all black, a hood obscuring… that mask. 

Ada hadn’t realized she had stood, watching in horror as the figure approached the prisoner. “The map to Skywalker,” it said, the mask distorting its deep voice, “You know how I can find it.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” the man wheezed, clutching his chest.

The figure moved in closer. “Show me where the old man took it,” it demanded.

The masked figure raised a gloved hand in front of the prisoner’s face. Ada knew everything she was seeing had already happened, but a soft “No,” escaped her lips regardless. 

The prisoner winced, feeling this creature sifting through his mind in search of what it was looking for. He groaned, trying to shake free from those tendrils that crept through his thoughts.

The creature pushed its hand forward forcefully, edging deeper into the prisoner’s mind. Ada knew, firsthand, how painful it was having your mind broken.

“Lor San Tekka has the map to Skywalker…” the creature said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” the man cried.

“ _Where did he take it?_ ” the creature seethed, rooting around in the prisoner’s memories. 

The man screamed in pitiful agony.

“Faith,” the creature drawled, “brought you to the Force. The Force brought you to the old man.”

Another pause and then, “You were a fool to come back here,” it sneered, “Tell me where Lor San Tekka took the map!” It was becoming angrier with the man.

“Bayora… he took it to Bayora,” the man replied weakly, desperate to stop the agony. 

The creature dropped the prisoner to the ground, where he rolled to his side, still clutching his chest.

“I have what I came for. He’s yours now. Clean this up.” And the masked figure strode out of the room. Ada knew that stride; she’d recognize it anywhere.

“Ben,” an inaudible whisper. She thought she was going to be sick, then Holdo’s voice recaptured her attention and she tried to focus, blinking in shocked disbelief. 

“The prisoner’s name was Del Meeko; he knew the location of the last piece of the map the First Order needed, which they now know is located on Jakku with Lor San Tekka.” Ada’s eyes were wide. She had a feeling Del Meeko didn’t live long after his encounter with - 

“Kylo Ren is leading the search for the map. As you saw, he uses unconventional ways of obtaining information. We have a very small window of time in which to secure the map and ensure it doesn’t fall into the hands of the First Order. Thus, the Resistance is sending one of our best Commanders to Jakku to retrieve it.”

One of the Elders in the room spoke first, “What can we do to help, Vice Admiral?”

“Complete that army. We’re going to need it.”

Ada was utterly, completely stunned as she left the meeting. What had she expected? Isn’t this what she saw in her vision? Hadn’t she known - 

“I didn’t know it was Ben,” she said out loud to herself, bracing her back against a wall. Head in her hands, she wondered how they were going to finish the creation of their mechs in time to take on the First Order and shut down the refineries that were killing their planet.

“Arrrgh,” she growled in frustration. She couldn’t get those images out of her head. That mask… There was no one else Kylo Ren could possibly be. 

He didn’t know she was alive. Everyone else believed Luke Skywalker to be the last Jedi but… here she was. If Kylo Ren found she had lived, he would ravage the galaxy to kill her. She saw what he was capable of doing now, and she had a feeling that only scratched the surface.

She put her face in her hands and cried. A release of pent-up stress and frustration and sadness and resentment because she knew she would have to leave Isobe. Her heart broke for Rusk, knowing she was going to desert him again, and he could never know why.

Ada couldn’t remain here and put her loved ones at risk. She didn’t know if it was possible to cloak her Force signature, to keep herself hidden indefinitely. There was no one she could ask to teach her such things.

She felt so desperately alone in this. A loneliness that permeated her bones. _Is this what he felt like, every day?_ She hoped not.

Ada had no idea where to go or what to do, just that she couldn’t wait around for the First Order to find her, for Kylo Ren to discover her existence, to punish those she loved for hiding her away.

###

The next week was one of the busiest of Ada’s life. Mech production went into overdrive, Ada was helping plan the shutdown of the refineries, and the inhabitants of Isobe began forming the First Sovereign Army. The Arkanians had their work cut out for them as did the newfound leaders of the FSA. 

Prior to the New Republic, the Sephi and Arkanians lived in clans, which were mostly friendly toward one another - the occasional rift notwithstanding. Now, they all lived under the same sigil as Isobians. It was a huge culture shift, and there were plenty of conflicts and arguments. But there was also compassion, dedication, and love among them all.

Every time Ada tried to talk to Krindi, she’d get pulled into another meeting, another drill, another mediation. With each passing hour, Ada felt a heightened pressure to leave, but more and more responsibility was placed on her shoulders. Normally, Ada would’ve relished being in charge, but keeping a low profile was becoming impossible. 

Ada had been assigned her own battalion of “troops” - a bunch of unruly Sephi who had only ever fought with spears and bows and arrows. She worked all day trying to whip them into shape, to tame their passion and bloodlust, and learn to effectively use weapons they had never seen before. She was no General, and had zero wartime experience, but she could command an audience and people respected her. 

After about half of her battalion was able to hit the target with their blaster rifles, she called it a day and excused them. Much of their infantry gear had been procured by the Resistance and much of it was old and clunky. Still, she thought, better than nothing.

Most of her infantry was heading back underground for dinner then rest. Ada, however, geared up to join her comrades - they were finally going to take the refineries offline.

“How’s it going Biggie?” she asked Big Daddy as she donned the Chalice.

“Ready for action,” he responded. She had developed a very strong relationship with her AI teammates; they all worked so seamlessly with one another, it still unnerved her from time to time.

The rest of her team consisted of four other Sephi and one Arkanian scientist, all of whom were gearing up next to her. 

“You ready?” Rusk asked, turning toward Ada, the visor of his Chalice open so he could see her better. 

“Ready as I’m ever going to be,” she responded. He was so smart and capable, and she was glad to have him on her team.

Ada slammed her visor down and embarked Big Daddy. Biggie’s cockpit closed and she settled into his interior. “Alright, Biggie, let’s run diagnostics,” she said. Even though Big Daddy was exceptionally well cared for, she always liked to make sure his systems were prepped.

Odrin, the Arkanian team leader of this expedition, called out through their comms to acknowledge that they were ready to ascend to the surface.

“Oceanus is go.” 

“Coeus is go.” 

“Crius is go.

“Hyperion is go,” Ada said, using Big Daddy’s technical name.

“Iapetus is go,” Rusk called out after her.

And lastly, “Cronus is go.”

The platform they stood on began to rise.

The wind blew across the surface of Isobe; the dust storms were becoming worse as more of the planet’s vegetation died. But, she felt relieved that they were finally able to shut the mines down and hopefully begin to heal once more.

The Titans set off across the landscape, undeterred by the strong winds. Rusk and Ada split from their expedition group to make their way to mine number 3 while the others continued onward toward mines 4 and 5, another expedition having already reached 1 and 2. 

Mine 3 was smaller and more challenging to access, so Rusk and Ada disembarked their Titans once they arrived. Using ropes and grappling hooks, they repelled down into the mineshaft.

Reaching the bottom of the shaft, they unclipped and made their way down one of several tunnels. They had been provided with a map of the mine beforehand, so they were somewhat familiar with the territory.

“So, we get to the refinery, find the generator, plant the detonators, get back to the surface and rendezvous with the others,” Rusk said.

“Yep,” Ada replied, “Easy in, easy out.” At least she hoped.

One of their teammates sounded over their comms: “Titans, this is Coeus, come in.”

“Copy Coeus, Iapetus reads. Over,” Rusk said. 

“We’ve made it to mine 4 and we are planting the detonators now, over.”

“Copy that, out.” Rusk looked at Ada behind his visor. “We need to pick up the pace.”

Switching on their headlamps, they moved more quickly down the tunnel, bits of dirt and rock raining down from the ceiling every now and then. Rusk shifted the bag of explosives on his back as they crouched underneath a massive rock partially obstructing the path. 

Rusk ended up taking the pack off and sliding it to Ada, who had already shimmed under. She grabbed it and waited for Rusk. 

Ada had never been inside one of these mines. Every single square foot had Empire written all over it. Only an entity as egotistical as the Imperial forces would create something so destructive without giving a shit about the consequences. 

The tunnel narrowed, reminding Ada unpleasantly of the cave. 

“Ada,” the Chalice spoke, “are you alright? I’m detecting heightened stress levels.”

“I’m okay, just a little claustrophobic,” she replied.

“The tunnel widens just ahead,” the Chalice reassured her.

“Thanks, buddy.”

The tunnel did indeed widen into an expansive cavern. Ada observed the tons of metal, the conveyor that shuttled buckets of ore into the searing forge. She watched the molten metal get collected as a rush of steam erupted from the depths of the colossal refinery. _No mechanics to collect the toxic sludge byproduct; not a care in the world for what it would do to this planet_ , Ada thought bitterly.

She used her HUD to identify the power generator. “There,” she said as her screen illuminated it. The generator was located behind the heavy machinery, and a cave-in had blocked access to it.

“Shit,” she murmured. 

“Indeed,” the Chalice agreed, “However, I suggest a different path. My calculations indicate an 88% chance of reaching the target.”

The HUD illuminated the path, which was…. adventurous, to say the least.

Using her suit’s boost, she could run along the wall of the cavern and climb up onto a ledge near the conveyor. Timing her jump just right, she could grab on to one of the buckets of ore, then drop down to the generator. 

“And getting back out?” Ada asked the Chalice. 

“There is a ventilation shaft within the forge. You can escape that way,” the Chalice responded, ever-confident. 

Rusk followed her train of thought, “You sure you don’t want me to go?” he asked. 

Ada shook her head, “I got it. Plus, that ventilation shaft looks pretty tight. I’m not sure your big, strapping shoulders would fit,” she teased.

“Oh, gee, you’re making me blush,” he laughed. 

“Just toss me the explosives bag when I get over there,” Ada said, taking a few steps back to give herself enough space to gather speed.

She dug her back foot into the dirt for purchase and bounced on her toes a little as she prepared to run at the wall.

Ada shot off at full speed, jumping up perpendicular to the wall, her feet touching its surface as her boosters kicked in and propelled her along it. She kept running, her feet pounding along the wall and jumped, just as her boosters kicked off, grabbing onto the ledge and pulling herself up.

“Woo-hoo!” Rusk cheered. Ada took a mock bow and turned her attention to the conveyor. She readied herself for the jump, hoping she could hold onto the side of the bucket long enough to reach her target.

Her HUD timed her jump; she leapt into the air, fingers latching onto the metal bucket as it swayed, spilled raw ore underneath her. She repositioned her grip and tried to keep the bucket from tipping to and fro. She looked down, marking the generator on her HUD. It looked a lot farther down dangling on the conveyor than it did from the ground.

“The drop is 12 feet,” Chalice quipped, “which this suit can more than handle. Let go now.”

Ada let go and fell through the air. She landed on a flat beam that ran across the top of the forge, crouching to absorb the impact. She walked toe to toe along the beam, at last jumping down beside the generator. 

“Rusk, toss me the bag!” Rusk chucked the bag up and over the huge metal pipes; Ada caught it by one of its straps.

She set to work carefully planting the explosives and readying the charges. When she was satisfied, she slung the bag over her back and spied the ventilation shaft. It was pretty tiny. She hoped that with the explosives bag less full, she’d be able to squeeze through with it. 

Ada placed a foot each on two pipes and began to hop upward, toward the vent. She punched through the old metal with ease, since the suit augmented her strength, and ripped the covering off.

“I’m going through,” she called to Rusk, “I’ll see you on the other side.” 

Ada pulled herself into the vent, her headlamp illuminating several dead bats and some cobwebs. She shoved them away and crawled forward. The vent split into two different directions, but her HUD pointed then her to the right. The vent turned to left; Ada thought she must be over the forge now because her temp readings showed it was considerably hotter. The metal creaked underneath her weight. 

“Ada,” Chalice chimed, “You should move quickly.”

“W--” before the words could come out of Ada’s mouth, the vent gave out and her legs dangled as molten ore bubbled and spit below her. The metal from the vent evaporated as it came in contact with the contents of the forge.

She had managed to grab onto the other side of the vent as it was giving way and pulled herself back up into it. 

“Ada?” Rusk commed, “Ada, are you okay? I heard a crash.”

“Copy. I’m okay. I think I’m almost there.” She kept crawling as the shaft turned once more, then abruptly angled downward. 

“You’re sure this is the way out? It's not gonna spit me out into a pool of lava, right?” she asked Chalice. 

“Positive,” he responded. There wasn’t enough room for her to turn around and slide down feet first, so head-first it was. 

“Rusk, I’m coming in hot, standby.”

She pushed herself down the shaft and quickly picked up speed. She ran her hands along the sides of the vent to try to slow her descent. 

Ada crashed through the cover, flying out of the vent, preparing to land face-first on the hard ground.

Rusk caught her around the waist mid-air. 

“Thanks,” she told him, dusting herself off. 

“Any time,” he said. She smiled at him, even though he couldn’t see her face, and gave him a playful nudge. 

“Let’s get out of here.” As they made their way back toward the surface, Ada commed the rest of their team. 

“This is Hyperion, copy?”

“Copy, Hyperion,”

“Mine 3 detonators are set, over.”

“Copy that. All detonators are go. Radio when you’re surface-side. Out.”

“Nice,” Rusk said, attaching himself to the rope, “we were the last to finish the job.”

“Yeah, well, I bet the others didn’t have half of their mine cave in,” she grunted as she started pulling herself back up the rope, watching the night sky as she went. 

Big Daddy turned as she pulled herself out of the mine shaft, his big blue eye casting long shadows on the ground. 

“You have returned,” Biggie said. If she thought robots could sound relieved, she’d swear Big Daddy had been worried about her. 

“Of course I have!” she held her first up to him and he gently tapped it with his own enormous metal fist.

“I am glad you are alright,” Biggie said. She patted him on his grenade launcher arm, “All good, bud.”

“Alright, lovebirds,” Rusk chided, “Let’s get to the rendezvous point and blow these mothers up.”

Big Daddy turned toward Ada. “Whose mothers?” he asked. 

###

After meeting up with the rest of the squad, they stood in a circle holding the detonators, Titans milling behind them. 

“You wanna do the honors?” she asked Rusk. He shook his head.

“You’re the one who had to be the acrobat today; it’s all yours,” pushing the detonator back toward her. 

“Okay, here we go,” Odrin said after contacting base to confirm they were ready to blow. 

The countdown started. 10, 9, 8….

Ada held her breath, asking the Force to just let this one thing go right.

7, 6, 5…

For her mother, for Krindi, for Cal, for her people

4, 3, 2…

For Isobe 

1…

For the chance to tell the First Order to go fuck themselves.

_Click_

A span of two heartbeats and then the planet felt like it had been ripped in two. The ground quaked violently underneath them, dust and steam and ore erupting from the canyon that had formed. 

Explosions still sounded all around them as the mines collapsed and the forges died. They each heard Krindi in their comms, “All refineries are offline.” They turned to one another and cheered. Ada heard another loud percussion, but this one sounded like it came from the sky. Rusk had picked Ada up and was spinning her when, looking over his shoulder, she saw it.

An Imperial cruiser.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of Isobe commences.

She couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. Her HUD confirmed her worst fears as it shared her view with Base. 

Rusk put her down sensing her change in demeanor.

“Krindi…” she said, still staring up at the massive ship.

“I see it,” was her reply.

Odrin yelled into him comms, “Base, scramble all fighters! They’re coming for us!”

Sirens rang out across the land as, below the surface, Isobians were furiously assembling for combat. 

Ada watched three large transports make their way into the atmosphere. 

“Shit!” Ada yelled and ran for Biggie, who scooped her up and planted her in the cockpit. She was turning him toward the First Order landing zone before the door had shut, sending him into a sprint. 

“Go go go go!” she shouted as she activated his override beacon, drawing any nearby surface mechs into the fight. 

Several of the other Titans had been outfitted with flight packs as they zoomed overhead. She summarized her orders to her battalion via her HUD, knowing their lieutenant would carry them out until she could regroup with them. 

She thought about her warriors, most of whom were still wearing pieces of scrap from downed mechs and who couldn’t aim a blaster to save their lives. She sighed; what they had would have to be good enough.

The transports touched down and offloaded several battalions of Stormtroopers. More ships arrived, dropping AT-ST’s. 

Ada arrived at the battlefront and took her place next to the other Titans. Base had pulled what mechs they could out of testing so they could be on the frontlines. She was relieved to see there were more Titans than she thought there’d be.

They charged forward, not wanting to let the First Order organize their ranks, and buying their infantry time to get to the frontlines.

Ada aimed her grenade launcher at the ‘troopers amassing on the other side of the battlefield and fired a volley of rounds just as another Titan fired a concussive round of cluster missiles.

“Aim for the AT-ST’s!” someone shouted, just as the First Sovereign Army fighter pilots screamed overhead. More transports were landing now, dropping more infantry, equipment, and walkers. The fighter pilots dropped a payload of arc-bombs, electrocuting large groups of troopers and causing their blaster rifles to malfunction. 

Ada equipped Big Daddy’s homing rockets and locked onto an AT-ST. She fired the first volley into its side, knocking it off balance but doing little outward damage. 

“Standby for mortar fire,” Odrin called out as his Titan dropped three massive mortars on the AT-ST, which ripped it apart. 

“I don’t think they were expecting this kind of reaction,” Rusk said and Ada agreed. She fired homing rockets into enemy lines as Rusk let loose his laser cannon.

From behind her, Ada could hear their army approaching swiftly, the first wave riding on great mechanical beasts and screaming the Sephi warcry, a horde of angry mechs following in their wake. They charged into the masses as Stormtroopers opened fire on the ferocious metal beasts and their riders. Ada watched as massive Hellhawks swooped down from the sky, ripping into the Stormtroopers with their deadly talons. Behemoths and Sabercats and Stalkers converged on their enemy, attacking them with astounding fervor.

Meanwhile, the AT-ST’s had started targeting the Titans, firing on their biggest threats first.

Another Titan activated its boost and shot upward and over the First Order infantry and landed behind an AT-ST. The Titan drove its gigantic vibro-steel sword through the AT-ST, beating it into a pile of scrap until it finally exploded.

The nearby AT-STs had turned their attention toward it and started lighting it up, so the Navigator boosted upward again, retreating to safer ground away from the crossfire.

Ada thought they needed to take out more of their big guns just as a rocket flew past Big Daddy. 

“Oh, hell no,” she said, turning toward the source. The ‘troopers had set up rocket launchers behind a makeshift battery. 

She swapped her homing rockets for Big Daddy’s speciality; monstrous warheads loaded with some toxic runoff, for good measure. 

Ada took careful aim and launched it. She watched its chem trail as it ripped across the battlefield exploding as it slammed into the battery, spewing toxic sludge in a 30 foot radius. Although the sludge wouldn’t eat through their plasteel armor, it would eventually make them feel quite ill from inhaling its fumes. 

Have fun, you bastards, she thought. The Titans had been steadily closing in on First Order ranks and had taken down two more AT-STs when the Resistance arrived. Smoke covered the battlefield, blasterfire illuminating the haze like fireworks, while overhead, Resistance fighters met First Order TIEs in a dead heat.

Ada concentrated her fire, once more, on the big guns, launching a round of grenades at another walker. 

The ‘nades blew a hole in the tough armor and shorted its circuitry. It stood there, like a fish in a barrel, as a missile barrage from another Titan destroyed it. 

At this point, the Titans were close enough to the main action that the battle was raging around Big Daddy’s legs. She swapped her heavy weapons for what she called “crowd control”. 

She fired Big Daddy’s chain gun into the sea of white-armored ‘troopers, trying to avoid hitting her comrades. 

Ada saw the first Titan go down from another vicious rocket launcher attack. She fired at the Stormtroopers manning the launcher, drawing their attention as they ducked to avoid her blasters. She neutralized a couple of the ‘troopers, but one managed to aim the launcher in her direction. Her HUD flashed in warned that she was being locked on. 

She activated Big Daddy’s boosters that allowed him to dash quickly to the side, interrupting the rocket launcher’s tracking. She managed to lose the ‘trooper behind the smoke; her HUD’s alternate viewfinder allowing her to see him crouching behind the battery. As she was taking aim, her HUD flashed in warning just as something massive crashed into Big Daddy’s side. 

“What the fuck was that?” she asked.

Big Daddy said, “A long range missile, fired from that transport.”

She looked into the sky and requested immediate mortal fire from Odrin. “Copy that,” he said, “Standby for mortar fire.”

“Ada, drop!” someone shouted through the comm as she threw Big Daddy into a combat roll. It was quite something to somersault inside a giant robot. 

Mortar fire rained down like avenging angels on the transport with long range missiles; Ada watched it explode in the sky, bits of smoking debris raining to the ground. 

They kept pushing the First Order back, but their enemy had numbers on their side. Big Daddy was holding his own, but several of the other Titans had fallen from ceaseless crossfire. Ada saw at least three more transports of Stormtroopers preparing to land and she watched as their enemy managed to take a Titan down with nets and cables before detonating a bomb that blew the Titan and its Navigator apart. The FSA had managed to eliminate all but two of the walkers, but their foot soldiers were getting over-powered, even with the ground support of the mechs. 

_I knew it,_ Ada thought, _I knew the First Order would throw every single body they had at us to get their hands on this tech._

Ada made contact with Base, continuously firing into the sea of Stormtroopers until her chain gun overheated and she switched to her grenade launcher. Rusk had dashed forward and lit up a group of ‘troopers with a flame thrower. 

She got through to Krindi on her comms. “I don’t think we can hold them off much longer,” Ada told her. “They outnumber us ten to one and we’re losing Titans left and right.”

Their fighters were entangled in dogfights with the Imperial TIEs and couldn’t drop payloads without risking getting blown out of the air. She watched as Rusk boosted into the air and snatched a TIE mid-flight, throwing it to the ground where it rolled over and over in a ball of flames. 

Rusk yanked his Titan into a pivot at the last second to avoid another TIE's ion torpedo. Ada aimed her homing rockets at the offending aircraft and shot it out of the sky.

Base had deployed auto-turrets and anti-aircraft cannons to protect their facilities. “I think we can hold out here for a bit longer, Ada. Try to keep them from pressing any farther forward.”

She had stomped on a Stormtrooper who was trying to climb up Big Daddy’s leg and threw another one into the sky as he was trying to disarm an ally. She didn’t wait to see where he landed. 

Ada knew their own dropships were having a hard time fending off the TIE fighters and several Titans had had to return to the ships when they sustained too much damage. Onboard, they were equipped with triage units for field repairs.

Ada looked around; so many dead in such a short amount of time. Others were trying to help their wounded friends find safety only to get cut down themselves. Something glinted in the distance. She swung Big Daddy’s arm, catching a Stormtrooper in the gut and flinging him away. Looking back toward the shiny object, she saw a Stormtrooper in gleaming silver armor. 

Ada thought they must be important, given all the black-armored guards around them. The chrome-plated Stormtrooper didn’t enter the battle, merely looked around as if surveying the damage, then returned to the transport. 

She saw a Titan slam a Stormtrooper into the ground, another firing charged shots from a laser cannon, another trying to aim ion torpedoes at the Imperial transports hanging above them. 

Then, the First Order began a full retreat, all the Stormtroopers on the ground returning hastily toward their transports, the TIE Fighters disengaging in the middle of battle. The Isobe infantry re-secured their frontlines, and started performing field aid to their fellow soldiers. 

Ada didn’t understand. Tactically, this move didn’t make any sense. The First Order had been making headway toward their base -

_Their base._

“Krindi! Krindi do you copy?” Ada screamed into the comm. 

“Copy, Ada!”

“Krindi, they’re moving their forces to the Base! We won’t be able to get there before them.”

“Copy that.”

Sure enough, the First Order transports moved their position behind the frontline that the Isobe army secured. 

Ada boosted Big Daddy up to their own drop ship and landed in the Titan bay. 

“All Titans return to your drop ships!” she shouted into the comms. It seemed that the others had realized what was happening already, and the ships flew back toward Base. 

“Biggie, I’m gonna have to step out and get inside the Base,” Ada said, knowing she couldn’t leave the Arkanians to defend themselves. “Secure the perimeter and meet me inside.”

“Affirmative,” Big Daddy said. “But I don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either, pal,” Ada concurred. 

Ada made Titanfall and sprinted with Big Daddy to secure the facility. So far, it looked like the anti-aircraft weapons had held the battle at bay, but it was only a matter of time before their TIE Fighters destroyed the cannons and their infantry invaded the base. The FSA simply couldn't let the First Order gain access - the tech inside was far too valuable and far too powerful for them to possess. Ada released the cockpit door and leapt out, sprinting to the bunker doors.

“Krindi, give me access to door E593!” she shouted over the constant roar of blasterfire. The blast doors opened enough to let her through, enveloping her in darkness when they closed again. Her Chalice’s viewfinder switched to night vision; even though the emergency lights glowed dimly, it wasn’t enough to see by.

She ran down the halls to locate the remaining Arkanians. _If they die…_ Ada thought, _Isobe dies with them._

“Krindi, where are you guys?” she finally asked. The doors to her right opened and she ran down a flight of stairs. 

A group of Stormtroopers had gotten there first and rounded up the Arkanians. _They must have slipped in around us during the main battle_ , Ada thought. Try as they might, Isobians just didn’t have the kind of fighting experience to stand a chance against the First Order. They aimed their blasters at her. A couple of them had vibro-battons. 

Two heartbeats. Then she made her move. Ada darted to the side and ran along the wall, like in the mine, causing the squadron to panic and scramble. She pushed off the wall, landing in front of a ‘trooper and taking his blaster. Ada shot two of his companions before pulling out her vibro-arbir blades, one in each hand. 

She cut down Stormtroopers left and right; they fired their blasters randomly, hitting one Arkanian scientist and one of their own ‘troopers. 

Ada brought her blades down, slicing the ‘trooper’s blaster rifle in half. He stared stupidly at it before she cut off his head. 

She paused, looking around at the huddle of terrified Arkanians, one cradling another who had been shot; two other scientists were dead.

“I’m getting you out of here,” Ada said. 

"Ada, wait," Krindi said, "I need you to look right here, quickly."

"Krindi, we have to -" Ada began to protest.

"Ada, please! It's important!" Krindi pleaded. Ada relented and decided to save time by doing what Krindi asked rather than argue with her. Ada looked at one of the massive screens above a bank of consoles.

A thin beam of light shone into her left eye, recognizing her cybernetic hardware. Krindi was downloading something into her mind, although she didn't know what. Ada didn't have time to ponder what she could possibly be storing for the Arkanians. She did, however spy an enormous volume of tech - beyond the mechs, Chalices, and Titans - that Krindi had never mentioned. Although the images flicked through her mind's eye too quickly to recognize any one of the specs, Ada thought she saw some information there about tracking objects through hyperspace.

The download, thankfully, finished quickly after encrypting the last of its contents within her memory. Ada gave Krindi a suspicious look before telling her, "We need to leave this place, now." Krindi didn't argue.

The group ran through the hallways toward the hangar, Ada checking around every corner to make sure the coast was clear. 

So far, so good.

They rounded the corner to the hallway leading to the hangar bay and saw it full of First Order troops.

“Shit,” Krindi squeaked as Ada came to a full stop and pushed them back down the hallway. 

“Wait here,” Ada commanded, “I need to cause a distraction.”

She crouched behind an entryway. “Biggie, do you read?”

“Yes,” he responded. Ada breathed a sigh of relief.

“I could use some big guns over in the hangar. What do you got?”

“I will bring the hurt.”

“You’re the best, bud,” Ada said. And she meant it. Meanwhile, she scanned the hangar and totaled the number of enemies: 47.

 _I’ve had worse._

There was a loud explosion outside the hangar bay doors, which had been pried open by the First Order. There was a loud creaking noise followed by the sound of shrieking metal as Biggie ripped the door off. 

_Nice_ , Ada thought. They opened fire and Big Daddy used the door as a shield to block most of the damage, swinging it in front of him and sweeping several ‘troopers out of the way. 

_Okay, 39 enemies remaining._ Ada lobbed grenades from her wrist-launcher, electrocuting several and damaging their weapons. She fired tracker darts forward making it easy for her mini rockets to find their targets. She focused on taking out the many before going in hand-to-hand with the few, and directed Big Daddy to keep the enemy distracted while she saw the Arkanians safely to a shuttle. 

Ada snuck back around the perimeter of the hangar easily, considering Big Daddy was in the middle of the room throwing Stormtroopers around. 

She escorted Krindi and the three remaining scientists to their shuttle. “One of you can pilot this thing right?” she asked.

“Uh, I’m sure one of us can figure it out,” Krindi said. 

“There’s no time for you to figure it out,” Ada said between gritted teeth. Addressing Krindi, she asked, “What about the others?”

“We initiated a full retreat right before we were captured by the Stormtroopers, urging everyone to leave Isobe. They’re not going to want to be here when this thing goes up,” Krindi said.

“What?” Ada hissed, “What are you talking about?” Ada watched a Stormtrooper Big Daddy had thrown slowly peel off the ceiling.

“This whole place is rigged to blow. As are the downed Titans, as a failsafe. We’re going to make damn sure the First Order can’t replicate our tech.”

 _Holy shit_ , Ada thought. They needed to leave. Now.

Ada began prepping the ship for takeoff, and fired up its onboard turrets. “Can any of you aim and pull a trigger?” she asked.

They slowly and nervously raised their hands. “Great, you -” she pointed at one of the scientists, “take the port side and you -” pointing at another, “take the starboard side turret.” They didn’t move except to look at each other in total confusion. 

“Port is the left side, starboard is the right,” Ada clarified. The two now-turret gunners scrambled to get to their positions. 

“Krindi, tell them to open fire on the remaining combatants… and ask them to try not to kill me,” Ada said as she left the ship. She worked her way around the hangar, stabbing one ‘trooper in the throat with the dagger that popped out of her gauntlet, using his body as a shield as she fired his weapon at a group of them. 

The crew onboard the ship opened fire on the remaining enemies. Ada was slightly crouched, waiting for the next attack as the smoke cleared. 

“All threats eliminated,” her Chalice informed her. 

“Biggie, get to the drop ship and prepare for takeoff.” Big Daddy moved off to clamber into the shuttle and Ada made to follow him.

“Uh oh,” Chalice said. Ada spun around to see the shiny Stormtrooper standing in the crumpled hangar bay door frame. 

“Well, well, well…” This Stormtrooper was female. Ada was surprised; she didn’t think the First Order were at all interested in recruiting women into their ranks, remembering the snide comment the officer made the day they took Cal.

_“... females, less so.”_

“Where do you think you’re going?” the 'trooper asked. Ada acted quickly. She needed to disarm this Stormtrooper before reinforcements arrived. 

Ada feinted right, readying her vibro-arbir blades by joining them together to make a double-bladed spear, but this ‘trooper was more nimble than she looked. The ‘trooper spun away, cracking Ada across the back with her baton, sending her sprawling across the floor. Ada sprang to her feet and noticed that the ‘trooper’s baton was made of quicksilver, and it had a very pointy end. 

Ada pressed in closer, striking out at her opponent with a series of attacks with her spear. The Stormtrooper blocked all but one of them, which couldn’t penetrate her armor. Ada dashed away. She gripped her spear in two hands and circled around the ‘trooper. Ada could see herself reflected in the chrome of her armor. 

This time, her enemy attacked first. There were a series of clashes as the baton met Ada’s blades. Even with her biomechanically enhanced strength, Ada recognized that the woman she was fighting was strong and quite a bit taller than Ada, giving the Stormtrooper considerable advantage in height. 

Ada blocked a particularly deadly blow from the baton and slid her blade along its length, sparks flying as metal ground against metal. She managed to push the Stormtrooper off and land a flurry of strikes against the baton. The ‘trooper kicked at Ada’s front foot, knocking her down to one knee and cracking her across the face with that vicious scepter of hers.

“Ow,” the Chalice groaned. Ada rolled to one side as the pointy end of the baton slammed down into the concrete where her head had just been. Ada pushed herself onto her feet in one fluid motion, the Stormtrooper practically on top of her once again. 

“More enemies incoming,” Chalice informed her. Growling, she used an energy blast from the palm of her gauntlet to push the Stormtrooper away as more converged on her. 

She was getting overwhelmed and was running out of time. They needed to get off Isobe and destroy the bunker. 

Blaster fire pounded her as she tried to dive out of the way, her armor absorbing most of the damage, but Ada knew this could turn very ugly very fast.

That big shiny asshole was still behind her, blocking her way to the shuttle and in front of her, more blasters.

She hadn’t consciously used the Force in so long; she’d been afraid to, especially once she understood that her life depended on her keeping her anonymity. 

But if she didn’t do something quickly, they’d never get out of here. The shiny one had pulled out her blaster rifle and fired it, point blank, at Ada. Ada reached out a hand and held the laser blast in mid air while she Force-pulled the shiny ‘trooper and threw her into her approaching comrades. Ada began Force-throwing anything she could at the enemy, knocking them back and allowing her to make an escape. 

She scrambled onboard and fired up the engines. “Fire on those troops!” she yelled at the two gunners.

The turrets opened fire on the Stormtroopers below, sending them running for cover. Ada watched as the Stormtrooper’s shiny helmet turned and followed their ship as they flew away.

As soon as Ada thought the shuttle was clear, Krindi detonated the explosives that had been littered throughout the facility. Smaller explosions around the perimeter of the complex must have been Titans’ self-destruction. Ada looked on sadly as she watched the place she called home go up in flames.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A comrade is missing after the Battle of Isobe and Ada discovers something promising on Dantooine.

As they made it out of orbit, Ada contacted the last remaining Resistance starship for permission to board. Permission was granted, and they landed their shuttle in the hangar bay with relief, just as the massive ship fled through hyperspace.

Ada opened the visor on her Chalice - she felt like she needed air and couldn't get enough inside the helmet.

 _We just abandoned our planet… and anyone left on it to the First Order._ She felt sick. Their first battle with the First Order and they had their asses completely handed to them on a platter.

 _Well, maybe that’s not completely true_ , thought Ada. They had put up a strong fight for as long as they could, but they had been outmanned and outgunned. Ada’s first taste of the might of the First Order was a decidedly bitter one.

Lost in her own miserable thoughts, Ada was surprised when Krindi wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered to Ada, “You saved us. And you made sure the First Order would get nothing from Isobe. Not the metals from the mines, the plans for our tech, nothing.”

She had saved Krindi’s life. She had done that, if very little else. She hugged her friend in return. 

“I hope the others were able to make it to the Resistance ships,” Krindi said. “We started shuttling civilians out of the bunkers as soon as we could. I hope the army was able to get out, too,” Krindi added. Ada felt some of her tension release. The Arkanians had known their odds were slim and had acted quickly to save the inhabitants of Isobe. Maybe there was hope for her home, after all. 

But, for now, they were refugees. 

They disembarked the shuttle and hurried through the hangar bay. 

Ada shut her visor in order to avoid having to look directly at anyone and said, “Let’s check the rosters.”

Lists of names of the Isobian refugees had been posted throughout the ship and she and Krindi pushed their way to the front of the small crowd to see who made it… and who hadn’t.

She scanned the list, recognizing many of the names of the people who had been rescued and registered… but the one she didn’t see made her heart grow cold.

_Rusk, where are you?_

His name wasn’t on the list - it wasn’t on any list. But he couldn’t be dead, she had last seen him on the battlefield… he had been fine. She noted that other names of commanding officers of the Isobian army were also missing; several of those she knew had been killed, but the others…

As if reading her thoughts, Krindi said, “Is it possible they were captured by the First Order?”

“I hope not,” Ada replied. Her voice felt small within her helmet. 

###

Their cruiser orbited Dantooine, which had been one of the original Rebel bases and had flip-flopped between New Republic and Imperial control throughout the years. Now though, it was largely abandoned. 

Ada had tried everything she could to try to reach Rusk. She had tried scrying with her Dathomir ichor, seeking him out from lightyears away; she couldn't locate him with her HUD, either. Silence. _Worrisome_ , Ada thought, anxiety churning her stomach constantly.

She and Krindi had been assigned a room on the cruiser, but Krindi was usually busy meeting with other members of the Resistance. Ada accompanied her to some, but she felt mostly useless, at this point, unable to use much of her Force capabilities and with no immediate enemy to fight. Ada had tried to ask Krindi what information she had stored in Ada's memory before they abandoned Isobe, but Krindi always managed to avoid giving a direct answer, much to Ada's annoyance. 

"Krindi," Ada said one night as they readied themselves for bed, "I think I deserve to know what I'm harboring in my own brain!"

"I'm sorry, Ada, I really am. But you can't know just yet. Not until it's safe," Krindi replied. She sounded disappointed that she couldn't tell Ada what she wanted to know, but she was also resolute in keeping that information to herself.

Ada huffed and tucked herself into bed, extinguishing the light above her bed. She crossed her arms and turned on her side, brooding.

Ada had blown her cover on Isobe. She’d used the Force and she knew that shiny Stormtrooper had recognized it; likely because she worked closely with a very attuned Force user herself. Ada wondered how much time she had left before they came for her. 

She thought about sneaking away, somehow, and just existing somewhere - Tatooine, maybe; Onderon was nice; Jakku, Kala-forbid… but she’d have to leave Big Daddy and her Chalice behind. And she’d grown quite fond of them throughout their time together; leaving them felt like one more abandonment she just couldn’t handle. But keeping a low profile in a state-of-the-art mech suit accompanied by a giant robot would be pretty much impossible. 

Ada had previously sorted through her small box of personal effects, which she had stored in Big Daddy before their expedition to the mines, just in case. Her rancor claw had been in there, now around her neck; a couple spare knives from Dathomir; a few little keepsakes from Krindi and her team; Big Daddy was fond of giving her the “pretty rocks” he found when they had gone on surface-walks… and the hilt of her old lightsaber.

She no longer wanted to think about the name Ben Solo. She forced herself to call him Kylo Ren, now. But, here was proof the person she fell in love with had existed; he had carved their initials himself… 

She rubbed her thumb over the engraving, remembering him… and mourning his loss. 

Ada didn’t know why she hadn’t just thrown the fucking thing away. Since she discovered Kylo Ren’s backstory, she’d thought about chucking it out with the garbage many times. But something held her back. Something always held her back, especially when it came to _him_.

At some point, Ada had fallen asleep. When she woke, her head felt more clear. 

_Who was she?_ She didn’t feel like a Jedi, and she would never align herself with the Sith. Any other factions that sprung up around worshiping the Force felt like cults. Perhaps there was something out there beyond the Jedi...

 _Where to go, what to do?_ She pulled up her HUD and studied Dantooine. She knew little about it, other than what she learned of it from the history books. 

Something on her HUD caught her eye. Crystal caves. She took very little time to consider her plan before scrawling a note to Krindi. Her Chalice wrapped itself around her and she strode through the door and out of her quarters. As she made her way to the hangar bay, she booted up their ship with her HUD. 

“Biggie, get to our shuttle. We’re leaving.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada finds something a great value on Dantooine and is sucked into another rescue mission aboard the Finalizer.

Ada landed near the southeast end of the Khoonda plains. She scanned her surroundings for the path to the cave; it was crucial that she find it.

There several instances in Ada’s life when she was certain the Light had been calling out to her. Other times, the Dark… or something in between. Now, however, the Light was singing to her. 

She had left Big Daddy to protect the shuttle, just in case, but promised to call him in should anything go wrong - he was a big worrier.

Dantooine, as a whole, was a beautiful planet - comprised of grasslands, rivers, and lakes. It was serene and calming, watching the grass ripple like water when the wind touched it. 

After a while, Ada looked over her shoulder; the shuttle was out of sight. She was getting closer, she could feel it. 

Ada’s excitement grew, but she also knew the cave would likely be infested with kinrath - pale, venomous arachnids that, although blind, could track their prey through heat signatures. While at port in Onderon, she’d heard an extremely intoxicated spice runner tell the tale of an adventurer who harvested a kinrath’s poison sack and wore it on his belt - the rest of the hive simply ignored him and let him plunder their eggs - “Highly valuable in the underground market,” the drunk had confided in her.

 _But, maybe there was something to that story_ , Ada thought. After all, she’d been wrong about the rancor on Dathomir. 

Her HUD chirped that she had reached her destination, but Ada stood on top of a small hill looking around, and couldn’t see an entrance. 

“Hey, Chalice, are you sure we’re --”

The ground gave out from under her and she plummeted through the air, shooting a grappling wire out of her gauntlet. It latched onto something and yanked her to a stop before she hit the bottom of the cave. 

She hung there for a minute, thinking about how she really never wanted to step foot in another underground structure ever again. 

She retracted her grapple and dropped to the ground, scanning for threats. None - yet.

She straightened and breathed deeply; the cave smelled like grass and wet dirt, and she inhaled its scent, focusing on listening to the singing in her ears.

It was like a humming sound that grew louder the closer she got to the source. Ada began walking through the cave, her headlamp on, being wary of any strange scurrying noises.

The Jedi had found this cave quite some time ago and coveted the precious crystals that grew within it. Some of the rarest in the galaxy, her HUD had informed her. A few lucky souls even found some gems that were only known to exist deep in the sea of another planet. 

Her excitement heightened. She knew, though, she couldn’t use her HUD to find the thing that was calling to her. She needed to clear her mind and listen with her heart. 

She was working on doing just that when she heard a clicking noise somewhere over her left shoulder. Quietly, she crept behind an outcropping of rock.

“Kinrath,” her Chalice informed her. It hadn’t seen her, not yet, and there was only one of them. If she could just kill it and cut off its poison gland, maybe she could put that drunk’s hypothesis to the test. 

She leaned around the outcropping and aimed down the sights of her bowcaster. Her HUD had informed her that its underbelly was the weakest spot. She aimed carefully and fired, the arrow slicing through its abdomen and disappearing into the cave. It flopped over on its back, dead.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she detected no other kinraths nearby, at the moment. She knelt next to it and got the work removing its poison sack.

“Ugh,” she groaned as she ran a bit of grappling wire through the flap of flesh she left at the top of the sack. She then strung it around her waist, not wanting to put the thing any closer to her face than necessary.

She made her way deeper into the cave stopping to make sure she left markers with her HUD so she could find her way out.

Her headlamp had started to pick up thick veins of glittering ore within the rock and, as she walked further, the odd gem and crystal. She stopped to examine one of them as it gleamed dully in the rock. Bondar crystal.

She moved on; it wasn’t what was calling to her. As she walked, she trailed her hand along the wall feeling its textures and the energy that flowed through the cave.

The ceiling lowered, forcing Ada to crawl on her hands and knees. She scooted along the length of the tunnel, eventually opening up again into a cavern.

She stood and dusted herself off --

Kinraths. Hundreds of them. 

“They’re resting,” Chalice whispered, as though the Kinraths might be able to hear him too. “Move quietly and we should be okay.”

Ada gulped, taking a delicate step forward, trying to make sure she didn’t step on one. She had made it a little over halfway when her toe nudged a rock, and it clattered forward on the stone floor.

She stood absolutely still as the kinraths nearest her shifted and that clicking noise reverberated off the walls. 

Several of the arachnids stood on their bony legs and turned their heads toward her, but none of them made to attack her. 

“I’m gonna move,” she murmured to Chalice as she tried not to move her lips. The kinraths couldn’t hear her but she didn’t want to take any chances, regardless.

She took a small step. The kinraths scuttled around in a way that was unnerving, but again, nothing tried to kill her.

Another step, and another. Some of them had taken to ignoring her completely, while the ones who watched merely stood their ground. She stepped over the kinraths that were nearest her feet, not wanting to rock this very precarious boat. 

At last, she made it to the other side of the cavern and hurried ahead when she sensed no remaining threats ahead of her. She thanked her lucky stars for that drunken bastard on Onderon.

She wandered through the cave, still listening as the humming grew steadily more resonant until it was almost making her ears ache.

She walked into a small grotto and the humming stopped. She looked around. The walls were just rock - no ore, no gems or stones, except -

There it was. She could hear her heart beating in her ears and suddenly, hers wasn’t the only one she could feel. The humming started again as she moved closer to the crystal. She touched it and - quiet again, a serenity, contentment, courage, and… hope.

She closed her eyes and opened herself to these feelings she hadn’t experienced in so long. It had guided her here and she shared with it all of her joys, her sorrows, and beliefs, her faith, her passion, her wisdom. And in return it gave her so much more. 

###

Back on her shuttle, Ada felt - complete in a way she hadn’t ever truly felt. For years, she hadn’t understood her place in the universe, never quite fitting in anywhere. That was still true, but she felt at peace with her path, wherever it might lead her. 

She stowed her crystal with Big Daddy and the rest of her treasures. She sat back in her captain’s chair, wondering about returning to the Resistance. It felt like the Force was leading her somewhere else.

“Navigator, incoming transmission,” Chalice informed her.

She held up her palm and a hologram appeared. It was the captain of the Resistance cruiser.

“Oh, thank the Maker, we’ve been trying to reach you for hours!” the captain barked.

“What seems to be the problem, sir?”

“They’ve captured her! The First Order have captured Iro and shot down the shuttle she was taking to the surface of Dantooine to look for you. Five of my men have been killed, Zahn!”

 _They took Krindi_. She shook her head in disbelief.

“How did they find us?” she demanded.

“I don’t know,” the captain replied tersely, “They intercepted her ship and were preparing to land; they could be right on top of you now. I have to move this cruiser out of their range. I hope you understand.” The connection terminated.

Ada stood, clutching the control console when another communication came through. 

It was slightly garbled and the image was grainy but there was no mistaking who it was.

Kylo Ren, himself.

“Chalice, disguise my voice,” she told the suit, her voice sounding more calm than she felt.

_Hide who you are. You are no one, you are nothing._

“I’ve been searching for you. It seems I have something of yours,” Ren’s voice rumbled, distorted through his mask.

He would expect anger, for her to demand to know where Krindi was.

“So it seems,” was her steely reply, her voice deepened dramatically through the suit.

“What are you willing to do to get her back?” he asked, the soft tenor of his voice betraying his vicious intentions.

Ada paused, cocking her head to the side as though thinking about the question. She turned her visor back to him. 

“You’ll see.”

She ended the transmission and smashed the comms unit so he couldn’t reach her again. It was just as well, since two stormtroopers had crested the hill and spotted her ship. 

She waited for them behind the door. Taking them down was easy. She’d have to tell Kylo Ren he trained his troops like shit when she saw him.

Quickly she stepped out of the Chalice. As it reassembled itself in front of her eyes, she turned to Biggie and said, “The two of you have to get out of here. Keep the ship low to the surface to slip under their radar and then get out of orbit as soon as you’re out of range.” She had started stripping the shorter Stormtrooper of his armor. 

“Biggie, let me see my treasures.” Big Daddy tossed her bag out of his security compartment. She rummaged around in it, pulling out the imbued rancor claw and draping it around her neck. At the last minute, she took the ruined lightsaber hilt and stuffed it into the front of her shirt. Ada tossed the bag, containing her attuned crystal, back to Big Daddy and said, “You keep the rest of that safe at any cost.”

“Understood,” he rumbled. 

She dragged the bodies of the Stormtroopers into a secret compartment in the floor of the ship. “Jettison these two idiots as soon as you can,” she told her crew.

“Navigator,” Chalice said, as she started pulling on the Stormtrooper armor. She looked up but her suit remained silent for a moment.

“Please, try to come back to us in one piece,” he said. 

She looked down at the metal exoskeleton that covered her entire left arm and chuckled, “I’ll do my best.”. 

###

Ada was now Alpha-Delta 1529, according to the Stormtrooper’s logs. She had made up some bullshit story about losing her companion in the tall grass… Probably got eaten by Kinraths after he fell into that unfortunate cave…

She made sure Biggie and Chalice had safely left orbit, then started walking in the direction the ‘troopers had come from and asked her HUD to mark their path. As she crested another rolling hill, she saw a First Order shuttle waiting in the grass. 

_Clear your mind. You are no one. You are nothing._

She wasn’t sure if that trick worked on Kylo Ren, but she was pretty sure she could fool these Stormtroopers. 

Ada approached the shuttle, prepared to answer a few questions.

A Commander saw her approach. “AD 1529, where is your partner?”

She lowered her voice a couple of octaves in an attempt to disguise it and sound male.

“Sir, he was walking ahead of me when he fell down a hole and into a cave. He was eaten by kinraths, sir.” She used a bit of her Dathomirian magick to make this commander more suggestible; she hoped by using less recognizable forms of the Force, she might stay undetected longer. 

“How unfortunate,” the commander said, sounding not at all upset about it at all. “Did you find anything of our target?”

“Some signs of activity, sir, but nothing else.”

“Hmm. Well, get on board. We’ll be returning soon.”

Ada clambered aboard the shuttle, sitting among the other Stormtroopers.

Holy shit, this was surreal. She had picked up a few brief details from the real AD 1529 as she disarmed and subsequently killed him.

From Corellia. Had three sisters. Pressed into service at age 8. Gato Rexa was his given name. She made a note to look up the Rexa family if she ever made her way to Corellia. He had a picture of his sisters in his chest pocket. He must have snuck it through security, somehow. He had been stronger than most in that he remembered anything at all from his past. It made her feel guilty that she had killed him. She knew it was war, but a small part of her hated what she had done. 

_Leave it for now._ She cleared her conscience. She needed to get Krindi back. 

Ada remained silent on the journey back to the First Order cruiser, which would then make the hyperspace jump to some other ship, which is where she felt Krindi was being held. 

She listened to the banter and conversation between the Stormtroopers, mostly echoing the usual First Order propaganda. 

_What lovely little servants you’ve engineered, Ren. They can’t shoot for shit, but you don’t care about them anyway_ , she thought. 

She was vaguely listening to the conversation of the two ‘troopers next to her when she caught the words:

 _The Finalizer._

A star destroyer. Ada had heard of - had seen this ship before. In the cave, the hallways rushing with water, the room with shelves upon shelves of skulls, the hulking figure, the mask…

It felt surreal, like none of this could actually be happening. 

The Finalizer. It was real.

 _Stay calm_ , she told herself. _Nothing good will come of panic._

Her cruiser shuttled them to the star destroyer and landed inside the gleaming white hangar bay, where another ship caught her eye. Sleek and black, with long narrow wings…

_Ren’s ship. He’s here._

They were disembarking now. She paid special attention to stay in line and march in step with the others. 

There was no using the Force now. She had to keep herself completely unknowable.

She marched with the rest of her squad until they all parted ways. She kept walking, like she had somewhere to be. 

_Detention bay_ , she told her HUD, _show me_. And it did. 

Ada had to think up some excuse to free Krindi from her cell, quickly. She was nearing the detention unit when she felt something tug at her. Something, someone so familiar.

She stopped in her tracks. There were so many Stormtroopers, white armor glinting beneath the artificial light, they all blended in together. 

Ada watched as a Stormtrooper marched what she assumed to be a member of the Resistance ( _Poe Dameron?_ ) away from the detention block. But it wasn’t Dameron’s presence that drew her, it was…

FN 2187. She knew him. She knew him from --

A tremor in the Force. 

_Shit._ She had let her guard down. Ren had felt a presence in the Force, she knew it - whether he knew it was her… she didn’t want to find out. There was no time to concern herself with Poe Dameron; he’d have to figure out his own way to escape.

Ada needed to move quickly. The guard at the desk - she needed him out of here.

 _Leave_ , Ada told him. The Jedi mind trick worked flawlessly, but now she really was up against the clock. 

Cell 7902. She made her way as calmly down the detention block as she possibly could, reaching Krindi’s cell and inputting her Stormtrooper ID number.

The doors opened. Krindi, huddled in a corner, whimpered as she approached.

She was in a grey jumpsuit and her pale skin was covered in purple bruises.

“Krindi, it’s me. It’s Ada.” Krindi shook her head, refusing to believe what this Stormtropper was telling her.

Ada looked around, making sure no one could see her and took off the helmet.

“Krindi,” she said softly, “look at me.” 

Startled at the sound of Ada’s voice, Krindi looked over her shoulder.

“Oh my stars, Ada!” she whispered fiercely. “What the fuck are you doing here they’ll kill you,” she hissed in a continuous stream. 

“I’m getting you out of here,” Ada said, cramming the helmet back onto her head. She grabbed Krindi by the elbow and jabbed her blaster rifle into her back.

“Play along,” Ada told her.

She marched Krindi through the halls, planning their escape as they went. Ada was walking Krindi back toward the hangar bay when a blaring alarm sounded and Stormtroopers started flooding the halls leading to the hangar.

“What the fuck?” Ada asked as she looked out of a window that overlooked the hangar. Someone was trying to steal a TIE fighter but had forgotten to detach the cable anchoring it to its docking bay. She had an inkling of who that might be.

 _Starspeed, FN 2187 and Poe Dameron. May we meet again one day_ , she thought.

“Okay, change of plans,” Ada told Krindi as she pulled the path toward the escape pods up on her HUD. 

“Where are we going?” Krindi asked. Ada didn’t respond, just pushed her forward. 

Her time was running out. Ren knew someone Force-sensitive was on board and now, and some rogue Stormtrooper and a Resistance fugitive were escaping in a First Order ship. He was on edge, he was - murderous.

He was near. He was coming for them, despite the distraction in the hangar bay.

Someone, at some point, was bound to notice they were heading in the opposite direction of everyone else. 

Ada channeled her magick and bewitched a group of Stormtroopers in the hallway leading up to the escape pods to stand guard and fire on Kylo Ren or any Imperial officer should they approach.

She had to buy them more time. She was practically dragging Krindi at this point, who had been brutalized by the First Order. Ada bent and picked her up, slinging her over her shoulder.

“Ada,” she squeaked, “where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to the escape pods. It’s your only chance to make it out of here.”

“Wait, Ada -”, Krindi objected, “What about you?”

She heard blaster fire as the Stormtroopers shot at someone. Ada knew who was pursuing them in the halls. 

She sprinted with Krindi over her shoulder, the pods in sight. 

“Ada!” Krindi yelled, terrified. He was behind them. She used her magick to fill the room with fog, buying them precious seconds. 

Ada ripped open the pod door and threw Krindi in. She would be safe now; Kylo Ren had who he truly wanted. 

“Ada! It all lives within you! Don't let them take it!” Krindi shouted as Ada slammed the pod door shut and hit the eject button on the wall.

Then she turned to face him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada takes an unfortunate tour of the Finalizer.

“Strange,” his deep voice soft as he approached, boots landing hard on the floor, “I’ve never seen a Stormtrooper use Dathomir magick.”

She’d been expecting his Force attack and repelled it. Ren ignited his lightsaber - blood red, its unstable core humming ferociously. And… a crossguard. So he had learned something from her after all. 

“Who are you?” he demanded, advancing on her. She had nowhere to retreat.

_No one,_ she thought, _I am nothing._

He raised his lightsaber. 

_Wait_ , she told herself. 

Another step. “Take off your helmet,” Ren commanded.

He stood directly in front of her, so close.

_Wait._

Lightsaber at his side, he reached up and unclasped her Stormtrooper helmet. 

_Wait._

His leather-clad fingers curled beneath the white plasteel and she felt the helmet lift from her shoulders.

He held the helmet in his hand for - 

_two heartbeats_

then it clattered to the floor.

“Surprise,” she said quietly before assaulting him with a massive Force push. She had felt his utter astonishment at the person beneath the helmet and used it to her advantage.

Her Force push sent him flying down the hallway, crashing into a wall. It barely phased him; he pushed himself up onto one knee. She sprinted toward him, toward the end of the hallway, trying to get past him before he could recover.

He grabbed her leg and yanked her back and she fell hard onto her stomach. She kicked out at him as they battled for supremacy using the Force.

Then she saw it - his lightsaber, lying on the ground. She reached out and it flew into her hand. She ignited it and it roared to life, casting a red glow in her eyes. 

She swung it at him and he leapt back, his face obscured under that ever-impenetrable mask. She grasped Ren’s saber in both hands, and started backing down the hallway, never taking her eyes off of him.

He followed her at a distance, waiting for the right time to strike --

Ada thought she might have had him when something very hard and very solid struck her head. Her knees buckled to the floor and the saber flew out of her hand, back to its master.

“You’re lucky I was here, Ren,” a voice drawled.

“Every dog has its day, Hux,” Ren replied.

Then she faded to black.

###

Ada wasn’t sure how much more head trauma she could handle. As she drifted in and out of consciousness, she was dimly aware that her head was throbbing where she had been struck. She heard muffled voices filtering through her scrambled brain and tried to open her eyes. Two men, peering down at her - one ginger and the other a doctor, she assumed.

“Put her back under,” the ginger commanded. The doctor pricked her with something and she drifted back into sweet nothingness.

When she next awoke, she was in a very different room. It was dark, and her head didn’t hurt quite as badly as it had before. 

However, that was where the good news essentially stopped. She had been strung up by her hands and feet and she was completely, stark naked. There was a pronged collar around her neck that poked her when she moved.

Ada had a distinct feeling that she was about to get very, very fucked up. Terror and panic settled in her stomach like black rot. She tried to wriggle free of her restraints but they were cinched tight. 

She tried to use the Force to tear the chains away from the walls but --

She couldn’t summon it. She couldn’t feel it or hear it at all. When she reached out, she reached out to nothingness. 

Fear roiled through her. She anticipated being tortured, but chained like a dog and stripped down to her nakedness was… humiliating.

She should have known. The First Order had already proven themselves to be more than capable of pure evil. 

All she could hope for now was a swift death.

The door to her torture chamber opened. The ginger entered accompanied by two Stormtroopers.

“You’ve caused us a great deal of strife,” he quipped. She stared at him.

“You know, you’ve kept us from dealing with some very important business,” he continued.

“What the fuck do you want from me - an apology?” she snapped. The gall of this man… she shook her head and the prongs in her collar jabbed at her.

“My, my, quite the mouth on you,” he sneered.

“What do you want,” Ada snarled. This man was toying with her. She was already losing patience.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” he said, “I am General Hux…”

Ada stopped listening to whatever else he was saying

“Hux?” she interrupted.

“Yes,” he said slowly, as if she were a bit touched in the head. 

“Hux… I’ve heard of you,” she said flatly. 

“Lovely. We had a nice chat with your friend… Iro, was it? Yes, Krindi Iro, the mastermind behind that little stunt you pulled on Isobe. She had quite a lot to say about you, even if she wouldn’t give up her technical schematics.” He was fiddling with a pin on his overcoat, looking completely uninterested in having this conversation.

Ada said nothing. The less she said, the better, she thought.

“Iro eluded to the possibility that you might know the location of Luke Skywalker.” Ada tried not to look surprised - she had absolutely no clue where Master Luke had sequestered himself and had no idea why Krindi would tell them such a thing. Still, she would try to use misinformation to her advantage, somehow.

“As I'm sure you’re aware, finding Skywalker is of utmost importance to Lord Ren, and thus, the First Order. I hope you will consider being amenable to revealing anything you might know, as it would save us considerable time,” he said, smoothly. 

“I’m not amenable to doing shit for you,” Ada replied.

Hux tsk-ed and said, “That’s really too bad because, Ada, either you and I can have a pleasant, informative conversation or that hulking brute can come in here and rip it out of your head. You get to decide.” He talked to her like she was an impudent child.

“Unchain me and take this collar off, and he can come in here and get it himself,” she said more confidently than she truly felt. 

Hux walked over to her naked form, coming closer than she wanted him to. 

“Oh, no, no, my dear. Rabid bitches, like yourself, get the muzzle.” He blew air on one of her nipples and watched it involuntarily harden, chuckling as he rubbed his hand on her thigh. 

Ada growled and made to kick at him, the chains preventing her from doing anything more than struggle. 

Hux turned and strode for the door, “Ren is going to have _fun_ with you.”

Ada hung there for what felt like hours. Her hands were starting to throb and her joints ached from being stretched and pulled. She was pretty sure she had a concussion, because she kept drifting off, but her head lolled back on her neck with nothing to support it. She eventually rested it on an arm, and tried to shut her eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

The door opened and she lifted her head toward her visitor. Him.

Ada swallowed thickly against the dread building in her chest as she watched his silhouette skulk around the room.

Kylo Ren picked an object up from the table and walked behind her. Her heartbeat fluttered as he disappeared from her sight. Then his hands were on her face, prying her mouth open. She tried to fight him off and bit down on one of his fingers. Ren grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her backward. She screamed through gritted teeth as she looked up at his mask.

“Open your mouth,” he snarled.

“Fuck you,” she snarled as he took advantage of her anger and shoved the bar gag in her mouth, buckling the strap behind her head. She screamed and yelled, but none of her words were intelligible. 

“Be grateful I gave you something to bite down on,” his voice rumbled through his mask, moving back to the table in front of her. Ada was breathing hard out of her nose as she watched him pick up some kind of prod. She instinctively tried to move away, her body swaying slightly as the chains held tight. Her eyes felt huge as she watched his every move. 

“Do you know where Skywalker is?” he asked plainly, moving closer to her. She said nothing.

He touched the prod to her thigh which zapped her with a jolt of electricity. She yelped and struggled against the chains.

He adjusted the dial on the prod. Ada swallowed and breathed slowly through her nose. The first shock had been a test. 

He asked her the question again. Again, Ada said nothing.

A much larger zap this time and she screamed as pain shot up her leg. He was doing this for fun; he wasn’t even trying to get into her mind yet.

 _He’s fucking with me_. Anger welled within her; oh, what she would give to use the Force right now.

“Yes,” he said, “all those times you took for granted that the Force spoke through you,” he said softly, switching to her other side. “And now you’re left defenseless.”

Drool was starting to pool at the corners of her mouth; she was feeling more and more wretched by the second. 

“You’ve been busy,” he stated. “Your friends have revealed many things about you.” His mask was inches from her face; she swore she could hear him breathing underneath it.

“One of my personal favorites,” he continued, trailing the prod over her breasts and down her stomach, “was Rusk.” Her eyes snapped to him.

_No._

“Yes,” confirming her unvoiced plea, “he was more challenging than most, but in the end, he acquiesced, like they all do.” A quick zap to the inside of her thigh. She groaned and bit down on the gag, tears welling in her eyes that had little to do with the crackle of electricity that jilted her spine.

“‘A tear in the eye like a golden shooting star; a heart, a mirror, your body,’” he quoted Rusk, his words misshapen as they filtered through that mask. Ada came closer to hyperventilating and Ren stroked her cheek with a gloved finger, “‘I gaze upon your scarlet smile, for we are connected together; I offer you; I give you my soul; I melt in your love.’” He finished Rusk’s poem as she shook from deep, stuttering breaths, trying to control her pain at knowing Rusk was… gone to her now… only a memory.

“I ended his misery. You could have never cared for him the way he cared for you. You would have lived out the rest of your days torturing him,” Ren glowered, pushing the scene of Rusk’s final moments into her mind. She tried to dislodge him, but he held her fast and she was forced to watch as Rusk was broken over and over again by this monster. 

Ada felt like she was being ripped in half. Then Ren pulled back and zapped her again, bringing her back to the present. Her head hung, and her body sagged against the chains, tears dripped off the end of her nose and fell to the floor. Ren hadn’t even searched her mind for answers yet. She didn’t need the Force to know that he was thrilled to get the chance to torture her. 

Blood had started dripping from her nose, trickling into her mouth. Ada would have to mourn Rusk later; she had to get through this in one piece. All of this was to soften her up; she needed to build her mental walls and keep him out. Think clearly, she told herself. She summoned every useless childhood memory she could think of, every mundane task that she could recall doing. 

Ren was behind her again, his mask pressed next to her face when he growled, “Rusk was useful in many ways. He revealed several of your weaknesses.” His leatherbound hand wrapped around her throat. “I was surprised how much you enjoyed being choked, all things considered,” a sinister rasp in her ear. 

She groaned with dismay as his grip tightened. It was, she noted, the first time he alluded to being a part of her past. Obviously, he had seen her fucking Rusk and maybe that opened Ren up to exploitation as well. 

Ren let her go. She breathed a sigh of relief for a moment of respite before the next awful thing. He moved in front of her again, raising his hand once more; this time, peeling away the layers of her mind. 

“I am curious,” he admitted, “how you managed to live.”

Ada fought against him with everything she had, trying to bury anything important deep within herself. She started off with the mundane recollections, and when that didn’t seem to work at keeping him out, she switched to the one aspect of her life he seemed to take interest in: having sex with strangers on Onderon, exploring those new sensations she didn’t know she could feel, how casual and purely physical it had been, how freeing; the last one wanted her to stay and she considered it - he had been… quite adventurous… she started replaying her conquests in her mind and she felt Ren retract. 

Ada thought about herself straddling the handsome stranger’s face, cumming in his mouth - then Ren released her mind and backhanded her across the face. 

Ada started laughing, teeth barring down on the bar in her mouth, quietly at first and then peals of uncontrollable laughter. 

_At the end of the day, you’re still just a man_ , she thought as loudly as she could.

“You’re a filthy little whore, aren’t you,” he growled, grabbing her face roughly and turning it toward his mask. She nodded, slowly.

 _Oh yes_ , she screamed her thoughts, _I’m fucking filthy. Let me show you the time with Rusk when he made me soak the sheets._

Anything to keep him out. But he redoubled his efforts, driving himself into her mind - she writhed in an agony worse than anything the prod could deliver. 

The memories came unburdened: the lightsaber exploded, she was falling, the Sorian crystal in her hand … then Luke’s voice, and Leia’s - she felt Ren retract slightly when he heard his mother’s voice - the glass coffin, the tubes, the pain, the missing pages in her memory…

_NO!!!_

She pushed back with her memories of Rusk, not just the sex this time, but the love she held felt from him, how touched she felt when he shared his poems with her, how raw and courageous it had been, and how she felt love for him in return for trusting her with his heart. And how fucking awful she felt that she couldn’t save him.

Ren retreated from her mind again. “So,” he said, slapping the prod into the palm of his hand, “Skywalker and General Organa saw to it that you lived.” She wondered if he was pondering how he could’ve overlooked something as crucial as her survival.

He walked back to the table and put the prod down. Rather than making her feel relieved, she felt concern that now he had both hands free. 

He reached into a pocket and held up her talisman. “It was you, on Dathomir,” he said, as if something had clicked into place for him. Had he felt her presence there?

“What were you doing there?” he asked, knowing she wouldn’t tell him willingly. She had been ready for him as he shoved his way into her mind again. She was running low on her arsenal of memories. 

He was rooting around, watching in the fortress on Dathomir, finding the scythe… Then - 

_The first time she locked eyes with Ben Solo. Her heart fluttered in her chest. The first time they touched and Force joined them together, fates intertwined_

_“It was always meant to be me.”_

“Stop,” he growled, trying not to lose his focus.

_The first time they kissed in the hallway at the Senate… when she discovered Hux was the spy… how ironic they were all together now. It was the first time she knew she wanted, needed, Ben Solo, how conflicted she felt but how… happy it made her feel that he wanted her in return._

“Enough!” Ren shouted, slapping her again. “Ben Solo is dead,” he rasped, squeezing her face between his fingers; his breathing heavy from trying to restrain his emotions.

Ada laughed again and shook her head. _Ben Solo is no more dead than Kylo Ren_. If he heard her, he showed no indication as he pushed back inside - she was talking with the Nightsister now:

_‘I - I come seeking answers. About your Magick, about the Force.’_

_‘And for what purposes do you seek our knowledge?’_

_‘I was nearly killed by a Dark force user. I survived, obviously, but only just. I have been unable to fully heal myself using my own… methods. I come seeking advice and… a solace from this pain.’_

“So, you hadn’t healed completely. And you used the Nightsisters’... unusual knowledge of the Force to do so,” Ren said quietly, more to himself than to Ada. “Resourceful.”

“The Resistance - what do you know of them?” he demanded, pressing into her once more.

Ada couldn’t let him delve into what she knew of the Resistance; she couldn’t risk giving anything away. One slip up was all it took to destroy a movement.

 _The first time they were together, after Irlon had nearly killed her. Comforting her, wanting to stay with her; he had been so awkward, but so - caring, kind. Remembering how she felt underneath his hands; warm and responsive to his touch. The feel of her hands in his hair as his tongue stroked her…_ Ada realized that this wasn’t her memory - it was his. How? Was this something that had been planted long ago and she hadn’t remembered until now? Possible, but -

She lost concentration and he pushed farther inside, searching for memories of the Resistance.

_He didn’t think himself capable of feeling such things, even then. But she did things to him he had ever only dreamed about. The way she made him feel when she drew him close; he felt --_

Ren’s had was on her throat again and she struggled to hold on to the thread of her thought --

_he felt…_

His other hand trailed over the flair of her hip and the cupped her sex, leather glove rasping against her skin. Ada sucked in a shocked breath. 

“Maybe you’ll fight less this way,” he growled as his hand moved up and down. Pushing into her mind again with his.

 _he felt_ … His hand massaged the area around her clit; she fought to concentrate.

Another unbidden memory of the cave, of the Finalizer. The first time she saw his present form, looming over the obelisk with the mask on it… not his mask, she just now realized… but

 _Darth Vader’s_. The skulls lined the walls, rising into the infinite ceiling, on and on and on. 

“Yes,” Ren whispered, his mask against her face and it vibrated her cheek when he spoke.

_I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t know._

“Yes, you did,” he said. 

The memory changed, altering itself in her mind. The figure turned toward her - she was trembling now, not wanting to see what its face revealed.

She couldn’t close her eyes to it; it was forcing her to watch. This was something new, something wretchedly different than her visions in the past. 

It wasn’t Ben’s face beneath the hood, it wasn’t even hers. It was something far worse - it’s face pale and bloated and sagging like a corpse. Then it smiled at her, teeth rotting in its mouth.

Ada screamed and Ren pulled back from her, having seen this new memory as well. She heaved as she tried to suck in lungfuls of air through her nose. _That thing_ , she thought, _wasn’t Snoke_. She had seen Snoke in Ben’s mind and it wasn’t the same disgusting, twisted replication of a person.

Kylo Ren’s hands were still on her hips and he stared wordlessly at her for a long moment before turning and striding out of the room.

What had she just given him?

###

Two Stormtroopers finally came to relieve Ada from her chains. They gave her what looked like an over-large shirt that slipped over the collar around her neck. The hemline reached to just above her knees and she was grateful for any modicum of modesty. 

She had foolishly thought that she would be free to move around with an escort of armed guards, but they had clipped a long pole to the back of her collar and led her around like a wild animal.

Disgusted, she let them lead her to the toilets and then to the showers. They hadn’t left her alone even for a minute and they hadn’t let her wash herself in the shower. She tried to ignore their jibes and harassing comments; but then one of their hands “slipped” between her legs or took extra care soaping up her breasts.

Ada tried not to react. She knew that was what they wanted from her. Instead she just stared blankly at the wall in front of her as one of them groped her ass. 

Finally, the shower ended and she was led back to her cell. She was surprised when they left her in her smock and only chained her collar to the wall. Ada rubbed her wrists where the restraints had been; her skin felt raw. 

She noticed a bucket in the corner of the room. Yet another reminder of how determined they were to break her down. She sat on the floor as there were no other furnishings, and waited. She hummed a little song her mother used to sing to her when she was little… she couldn’t remember the words, but she knew the melody…

The collar scratched her neck. Somehow, this thing was blocking her from using the Force. She felt along its sides, seeking a keyhole, but they were smooth. She wondered if she could pry it off somehow without it killing her.

Hours ticked by slowly, and Ada wondered how anyone survived solitary confinement. Maybe this was another strategy to get her to talk; leave her to her own devices for a week and she’d spill her guts to anyone who’d listen.

She sighed and laid her head against the wall. Ada couldn’t stop worrying about her altered memory. She knew she had never seen anything like that before. Why did it change now? Had Ren planted it there? Had someone else?

She could worry endlessly about what he had gotten from their session. But she had gotten something in return. Fractures in his otherwise infallible psyche. He might have believed Ben Solo to be dead, but apparently, he couldn’t rid himself of Ben Solo’s memories. She’d suggest blowing himself up with a lightsaber the next time she saw him. There was no doubt in her mind that Ren would be coming back for more.

Ada fell asleep with her head against the wall. It was a dreamless sleep, for which she was thankful. There was much her brain needed to come to terms with, but it let her have this one moment free from trauma.

The door slammed, making her jump awake. He had returned for her.

“Back so soon?” she muttered drowsily.

“Get up,” Ren demanded.

She pushed her legs against the floor and used the wall to stabilize herself. The two Stormstroopers who accompanied him walked closer to her. One held his blaster between her eyes and the other removed the chain from her neck. She waited for one of them to attach the long pole by which they would lead her around, but Ren merely walked out of the room. The Stormtroopers seized her by the arms and escorted her down the hall. 

She passed Stormtroopers and officers who would whisper nasty, cruel things to her when they thought they were out of earshot. There wasn’t much Ren couldn’t hear, Ada knew, but he did nothing to stop the slurs all the same.

They came to a large door. Ren entered something into the keypad and the doors slid open. It was dark, wherever they were going. The Stormtroopers pushed her inside, the doors slamming shut behind her. 

She was alone with Kylo Ren once more.

“Come,” he commanded. She followed, looking around. A couch, two chairs, a table… and a bed. Her breath hitched in her throat, realizing she was in his quarters. Stars only knew what he was planning on doing to her in here. 

He led her into the bedroom. She stood in the doorway, her legs refusing to walk any further. Ren turned when he realized she wasn’t moving and grabbed her by the arm and dragged her inside. Across from the bed was a massive glass wall, raised slightly higher than the floor, so it was almost level with his bed. 

She sneered at him, “You think you’re putting me in there?’

“I am,” he said evenly. There was a cot inside the glass room and a small screen concealing what she assumed would be a lavatory bucket. At least he allowed her even that small amount of privacy, she thought viciously. 

“Why?’ she demanded. “Do you treat all your prisoners so graciously?”

“No.” He reached for her hands and unlocked the cuffs that bound them. Her mind immediately sought out an object with which to stab him.

“Lift up your arms,” he told her.

“No - why?” she protested as he tried to pull the shirt over her head. She fought against him, more desperate for modesty than she thought.

“No!” she cried, slapping his hands away. Finally, he hit her across the face, sending her to the floor where he straddled her, pinning her arms above her head as he managed to remove the smock. 

“You fucker,” she spat, attempting to knee him in the groin. He grunted as he rolled off her and twisted her arm behind her back, pushing it up toward her shoulder blades. She stopped struggling as she felt her tendons strain to keep her shoulder from popping out of socket.

“Get inside,” he seethed through his mask as he shoved her roughly through the side door to her glass prison. He locked the door.

Ada turned away to observe her ‘accommodations’. A pot to piss in and a place to sleep. What more could a girl desire?

She looked down at her left arm. She hadn’t even realized they had stripped her brace of every component that wasn’t fused to her bones. So much for that hidden knife in her gauntlet, she thought miserably. 

She sat on the edge of her cot, the feeling of the material felt rough and overstimulating on her naked thighs. She felt overexposed sitting there, Ren watching her every move. 

Ada wouldn’t let him make her feel small, even if he could kill her whenever he wanted to. Or torture her. Or fracture her mind, if he so chose. Even so, she stood and walked to the huge window. She knelt down so she was looking directly at his face… or, well, his mask. 

_Does he ever take it off?_ She mused. She put her hand on the window and tapped her finger, trying to judge its thickness. Too thick to throw her pot or her cot through. 

Movement beyond the glass caught her attention. His hands fingered the clasps at either side of his neck. Her pulse quickened and her eyes widened. Despite her best efforts, she was intrigued by what could possibly live beneath that mask. 

She heard it hiss slightly as he pulled the mask away from his face. Her lips parted slightly as she looked at him. 

It hardly seemed possible that he had changed so little. She expected him to be twisted, physically, his features contorted by the Dark side. But there he sat, looking exactly like Ben. _Her Ben._

She couldn’t take this. She willed him to put the mask back on as sorrow welled within her. But she couldn’t look away from him.

Ren stood and walked to the partition. He knelt, placing his hand on hers, separated as it was by the glass. His eyes - she hadn’t seen them in years - held hers. He leaned forward, his breath fogging the glass. 

“Ben Solo is dead,” he said the words slowly. So she would hear every single syllable. 

Ada dropped her hand from the glass, weeping silently, and sat back on her heels, her gaze never leaving his. She nodded. Accepted whatever contorted version of the truth he wanted to believe. 

Her truth was that Kylo Ren lived within Ben Solo his whole life. There wasn’t a single moment when the two hadn’t been one. There had to be a reason he needed to see his truth the way he did.

She thought of Rusk, of how he encouraged her to know her enemy. And she wondered if Ben Solo had told her any of Kylo Ren’s secrets.

###

“Has your prisoner been useful, Lord Ren?” Snoke asked.

“She is more useful than I originally suspected, Supreme Leader,” Kylo Ren stood from his kneeling position to address his Master. 

Snoke considered this. “She is a powerful enemy.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader. Better to keep her close, I should think.”

“Your feelings on this matter… are clear?” Snoke had leaned forward in his throne, as if trying to see Kylo Ren’s intentions.

“Yes,” Kylo Ren said definitively.

“Good,” Snoke murmured, “See to it you use her to your full advantage, Lord Ren. Passion has its advantages.”

Snoke paused, assessing this young Knight of Ren. “Unless,” he continued, “you think yourself unable to exert your will over her. If that is the case…”

“I can and I will,” Ren replied. 

Snoke nodded, “Should that change, bring her to me.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada tests Kylo Ren's resolve in an effort to know more about Star Killer base.

Ada picked at her food. They’d forced her to eat with her hands, not allowing her to have anything remotely pointy in her grasp. She thought they were probably wise for doing so, but she was still tired of eating mashed potatoes with her fingers. 

She put her tray down and stared out of the glass window in front of her. She pulled at the pronged collar, trying to free her skin from its barbs even momentarily when Kylo Ren strode into the room. 

Ada had taken to pretending he wasn’t there. She largely ignored him, and he her, but tonight he seemed stressed. She narrowed her eyes at him and pulled her blanket tighter around herself. She remained silent.

He took the helmet off his head and placed it on the nightstand. Next he pulled off his cowl and tossed it onto the bed. His armor was next, which he dropped in his wardrobe. 

In the days since she’d been here - she thought it had been days, but who could really know anymore - he had not once disrobed in front of her. He slept in his bed, but he’d always been fully clothed - taking them off in the bathroom, she’d assumed.

He walked to the end of the bed and sat down, removing his socks, then pulling his undershirt over his head and tossing it aside. He looked up and caught her staring. Rather than look away, she continued watching him. She would not be intimidated.

His face perfectly composed, he stripped off his pants, standing in front of her in nothing but his underwear. Another memory from long ago skipped through her mind and she couldn’t help but smile a little. Curious about what he would do, she stood up from her cot, taking the blanket with her and stood next to the window, waiting. 

He hooked his thumbs beneath the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down, inch by inch, slowly revealing more of himself. She let her eyes drift downward and watched as the little trail of hair from his navel grew thicker the closer he got to his - 

Then she turned and walked away, lying down on her cot with her back to him. She half expected him to barge into her room, but he didn’t. And a few minutes later she heard water running in the shower.

Stars, how she’d love a shower… she hadn’t had one since she’d been assaulted by those two stormtroopers.

She lay there, picking at the paint on the wall, the scent of his soap wafting through the apartment. It smelled nice, like the pine trees on Isobe at the height of summer. She wondered, vaguely, what part of the galaxy they were in… a thought struck her, like a smack to the forehead. 

Her HUD. She was still cybernetic; being taken prisoner and tortured had fogged her thinking. She laid on her side, still, and pulled up her HUD. It showed their location as near a planet called Ilum. 

Ilum… it sounded familiar, she thought as she perused the information provided by her HUD. Lightsaber crystals had been prevalent there at one point, but had largely been over-harvested. Why were they here?

She heard the door to her cage open. She blinked the HUD away. She knew no one else could see it, but she still didn’t want to risk it. It was one of the things she had managed to keep secret.

She smelled his soap and rolled to face him. His skin was still wet from the steam and there was a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Come,” he told her. He led her to the bathroom, the shower open and spacious, water vapor still clinging to the glass door. 

He had put a fresh towel on the rack for her. She turned on the water and stepped into its hot stream. Her muscles melted underneath it; she hadn’t realized how much her back hurt sleeping on that cot. 

She sighed and stretched her arms above her head, pulled her HUD up once more and absent-mindedly scanned the map of the Finalizer. Ada didn’t know how well he could read her thoughts, so she was as brief as possible in her study of them. 

She lathered a washcloth with soap as she scrutinized the map for an escape route. Switching off her HUD after finding no viable options yet, she scrubbed herself clean until her skin felt raw. She washed her hair for the first time in what felt like weeks and stepped out of the shower feeling rejuvenated. 

Ada had left the door to the bathroom open, so the mirrors hadn’t fogged too much. She looked at her reflection. 

Her face was bruised in several places, her lip had split open after Ren hit her. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin looked sallow, waxy. She wiped away a bit more of the steam and dropped the towel around her ankles.

Welts had forms where he shocked her with the prod. Wrists bruised from the restraints. Ada picked up the towel from the floor and wrapped her hair in it when the reflection in the mirror behind her caught her eye.

A barcode and a series of numbers on her lower neck. She tried to rub it off. It wouldn’t budge. _A tattoo. A fucking tattoo_. 

“What the fuck is this?” she asked furiously as she stomped into his bedroom, towel wrapped around her head. She turned around and pointed to her neck.

“You’re a prisoner,” Ren said plainly, “Prisoners get branded.”

“For what purpose?” she practically screamed at him. She didn’t know why this, of all the things that had happened to her aboard this ship, made her so enraged.

“To document you,” he said, looking back at his datapad and showing her her own face on the screen along with a barcode and series of numbers. It wasn’t a recent photo, but it was definitely her, with her entire life’s history laid out before her very eyes.

It hurt, being reduced to a number, having your identity stripped away and anonymized. She felt a pang of sadness for the Stormtroopers; there were plenty who weren’t serving the First Order voluntarily, she knew.

She shook her head and pulled the towel away, disposing of it on the floor. She marched back to the door of her glass cell and yanked on it. It wouldn’t budge. 

“Let me in,” she said through gritted teeth.

He didn’t move. He was testing her, again. 

“Let me in!” she screamed. Fury billowed from her; she could feel its heat on her face. 

His chest was bare, but he had donned a loose pair of linen pants. He swung his legs to the side of the bed and stood at his full height. She’d remembered that he was tall, but she hadn’t remembered him taking up so much space. 

Ren walked over to her and, when she thought he was reaching for the door handle, grabbed her wrist instead.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she hissed, voice low, ready to strike. She ripped her arm away from him. She was corned by walls on three sides, a hulking menace in front of her.

He just stood there, staring at her. 

“Just let me inside,” she said, her voice weaker than she wanted it to be. “I don’t want to be near you.”

He held out his hand. Another memory flashed - was it hers or was he putting it there - of when she first held her hand out to him, so long ago; an honest, if naive, gesture of trust. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” she asked, pointedly, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Take it,” he told her, his voice low.

“I don’t want to take your hand,” she enunciated every word, eyes narrowed.

“Ada,” he said, showing momentary impatience. She jumped at hearing him say her name. She stepped away from him and her back touched the wall. She didn’t trust this man, not at all.

He sighed. “Sleep on the floor or in my bed,” he told her. 

W-what? This had to be a trap. Was he going to smother her with a pillow? Strangle her in her sleep? He could’ve killed her countless times by now, so why wait?

“I’m not going to kill you,” he said, sitting on the bed, “Not tonight, anyway.”

“How fucking comforting,” she spat. 

Ren shrugged and turned out the light, blanketing them in darkness. She stood, considering her options. The floor - which was arguably harder than the cot - or share Ren’s bed. His very soft-looking, comfortable bed.

What did he want in return? There had to be strings, even if she couldn’t see them. 

“Damn it,” she muttered as she moved nearer his bed, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. She stood on the opposite side from where he lay. Tentatively, she sat on the edge. When he didn’t move, she swung her legs onto the mattress, waiting. She huffed, and lay down, half wanting him to do something to provoke her, but he didn’t move.

Her head hit the pillow and her eyes grew heavy. She hadn’t slept well in weeks. Her body sank into the softness of the mattress. She hadn’t even bothered crawling under the covers before she fell into deep, dreamless sleep.

When she woke the next morning, the blankets had been pulled up around her and Ren was gone. She sat bolt upright, confused, momentarily, as to where she was. 

Nothing had happened. She was still alive. What a pleasant surprise.

She checked his apartment to make sure he wasn’t there. Left to her own devices, she naturally started rummaging through his things. 

First, she looked through his drawers and pulled on a black shirt that was baggy but comfortable. She noticed that it smelled like him; like he had always smelled. She closed her eyes and inhaled briefly, before shaking herself out of her reverie and pulling on a pair of his pants. She had pulled them up so high, the waist was right below her breasts, but she couldn’t find her feet still buried in the pant legs. 

She removed them, folding them once more and placing them back in the drawer. She rooted around his underwear drawer instead and pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs. She was just about to close the drawer when - 

Her lightsaber hilt? The one he -- no, the one Ben, she corrected herself -- had made her. The one she had shoved down her shirt before assuming the identity of the Stormtrooper back on Dantooine.

He had kept it. Why? She rubbed her thumb across the engraving, allowing herself a moment with it, then put it back in its spot at the back of the drawer. 

She busied herself by looking through his closet, checking the pockets of every single cloak he owned, which in her opinion was about ten too many. She felt the walls of the wardrobe for hidden panels and found nothing. She even lifted the mattress to see if he had hidden anything under there.

She did find a pair of leather cuffs, a crop, and some personal lubricant in his nightstand, but that nothing really useful. She didn’t care if he was into kinky shit. She just wanted a way to escape. But also… did he bring women back here? 

She couldn’t imagine Kylo Ren sneaking someone into his room under the nose of Daddy Hux… she snorted. And then she laughed. The muscles in her face weren’t used to laughing anymore and the expression felt foreign. 

Perhaps, her thoughts turned dark and her smile faltered, he brought other captives back here. How long had her glass prison been in his room?

Having cleared his bedroom of anything interesting, she started in on the bathroom. Nothing here either, not even a razor, though she suspected he had disposed of any and all sharp objects before she shared his quarters. 

At the back of the cabinets under the sink she found a box of condoms bordering on their expiration date.

Was Kylo Ren really this boring? Seriously? The most feared figure in the galaxy and this is what he left her to work with?

 _Kala_ , she thought, _he should’ve left me some coloring books…_

She scratched at her neck. She was starting to think her skin was becoming infected since it was constantly poked by the prongs. She walked over to the main door and pressed the release button. It was locked, naturally, but she had to try.

She sighed. She’d looked around the living area and found nothing of interest whatsoever. 

She lay on the bed and pulled up her HUD. Show me Kylo Ren.

It zoomed out and showed her the planet Ilum, with a little blinking beacon. He was planetside. But there was nothing on Ilum, no outposts, no cities…

She looked at the datapad on his nightstand and snatched it up. She clicked it on. It required a password. 

“Let’s see what we can do with this, shall we?” she asked her HUD. It took about three minutes to crack his password. 

Coruscant

 _Interesting_ , Ada thought. The planet Coruscant could hold meaning in numerous ways, she supposed. 

She scanned his datapad, flipping through the screens until she finally found something of interest. Something called Starkiller Base.

“What the hell is this?” she asked as devoured the specs. It was definitely a First Order military base of some kind. But it was massive, larger than any she’d ever seen. She read on, learning what its true capabilities were.

“It’s a planet-destroyer that uses the sun’s energy to power its superweapon,” she said aloud, color draining from her face. The entire planet of Ilum was _Starkiller_.

Her HUD downloaded the schematics into her digital memory. 

Her HUD blipped at her; Ren was returning from Starkiller Base. She cleared her history from the datapad, returning it to the home screen, and shut it off. She wiped her fingerprints from it for good measure.

She had a little time to gather herself before he returned, and when he did, she was sitting in a chair curled up with an old book about the Empire she had found on a shelf.

“I see you kept yourself busy,” he rumbled through his mask

She shrugged, “I got bored.”

“Hmm,” he said noncommittally before removing his mask. His hair was longer now, she noticed. It still shook her up to see his face underneath that thing. She looked away from him.

“You don’t like it,” he said. 

Ada turned, “What?” He held his mask out. 

“No,” she said, “I don’t like it.” 

Ren walked into the bedroom and removed his personal effects. Ada flipped through the pages of the book, utterly appalled by what she saw written about the Empire. She rolled her eyes at the blatant bias.

“Do you actually buy into this shit?” she asked him from the comfort of her chair. He walked out of the bedroom naked, heading for the shower.

Ada felt the book slip from her hands and she scrambled to hold onto it before it fell to the floor. Ren strolled over to her and plucked it out of her hands, looking at the cover while she looked at his --

Ren shrugged, “It’s for historical reference,” he said, handing the book back to her before turning and walking toward the bathroom.

 _He can read your thoughts he can read your thoughts hecanreadyourthoughts_ , Ada berated herself. She buried herself in the text again as a distraction.

It wasn’t working very well until she came across a phrase that grabbed her attention. It mentioned the Death Star and information that involved research into “dark energy translations” and “hyperspace tunneling”. Ada had no idea what either of those things were, but they sounded sinister.

Ada looked over the top of the book at the bathroom. Ren had turned on the shower and she heard the water splashing as he bathed.

Perhaps, catching him off-guard could lead to garnering more information…

She stood, heart pounding in her chest and stripped off her clothes. It was entirely possible he’d just throw her out of the shower and lock her back in her prison. 

She padded into the bathroom and he stopped washing his hair, sensing her presence. She crossed the cold tile floor and opened the shower door, easing herself inside.

The spray hit his back, his hair full of suds as he gazed at her, confusion written in his expression.

She gave him a small smile. “Is this okay?” she asked. He merely nodded and rinsed the suds from his hair.

She felt drunk all of sudden, giddy and silly. He had scars on his abdomen, some on his chest, she realized. Some were more pronounced than others, like he had acquired them more recently.

He saw her looking. “What happened?” she reached to touch him but he seized her hand to stop her.

“B--,” she caught herself in time. Correcting herself, the name feeling strange on her tongue, she said, “Kylo.” She held his gaze and he let her hand go. She brushed her fingers across one of his scars. It was the first time she had touched him in so long. His skin felt soft and she breathed for a moment. Touching him again. It was something she’d only dreamed of doing.

Ren didn’t move, just let her hands do what they wanted. And what she wanted was information, but she had to be careful.

She pulled her hands away and took the washcloth off the rack behind him. She lathered it with soap and looked at him, seeking his permission to touch him. He didn’t object.

She washed his chest, his back, and his ass. She knelt to wash his legs and his feet, and tried to ignore his half-hard appendage so near her face. She stood again, lathering the soap between her hands and trailed her fingers down, washing his cock with long strokes and massaging his scrotum, before running her hands back up around his neck and handing him the washcloth. He breathed a small sigh, but remained silent otherwise.

“My turn,” Ada said. She saw him swallow, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He lathered more soap and washed her shoulders and chest, moving down to her breasts, but not lingering there too long. Her stomach, then he turned to her back and her ass, cupping it slightly as he let out a stream of breath through his nose. 

He swallowed again, gritting his teeth as he knelt to wash her legs and her feet, like she did for him. She turned around to face him as he lathered the soap between his hands and slid between her thighs, his jaw working furiously. 

She sighed a little, leaning into his touch. He pulled his hand away. Ada watched his dark eyes; she knew that look. All he needed was a little push. She moved herself under the spray, washing the suds from her body, rinsing her hair. 

She turned around and he slammed himself into her, hand on her throat, growling in her face. 

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“What are you talking about?” she squeaked, her toes sliding on the slippery tile floor, trying to find purchase.

“What the fuck are you trying to do?” he raged. She’d never seen him so angry. Even behind the mask, she couldn’t imagine this kind of fury.

Her hands grasped at the arm that held her against the shower wall. “I thought this is what you wanted,” she managed. 

He let her go and she slid down the shower wall, coughing and spluttering. Ren grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her up. 

“I don’t want intimacy with you,” he hissed. “You want to know what I want?”

She wasn’t sure she did. She wasn’t sure she was prepared for whatever he had in mind. 

“I didn’t think so,” he turned, leaving her in the shower alone.

Ada turned off the shower and pondered her next move. Her initial plan hadn’t gone well. Kylo Ren was a different kind of man than she was used to. She was unsure of what would happen when she left the bathroom, which made her both nervous and… excited.

 _What the hell is wrong with you?_ she asked herself. _That’s the man who tortured someone you cared about to death, not to mention countless others. And now you’re contemplating, what? Fucking him?_ She glowered at herself in the mirror. 

She had to admit that his… intensity had caught her off guard. _Why?_ she asked herself, _Because you still think the man in the other room is Ben Solo?_

Not the Ben she knew, not the one she was trying desperately to hold on to.

 _If you’re going to do this, you have to let go of him. He’s only a memory now_ , she told herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Ada needed to learn more about Starkiller Base and she needed to learn it from Kylo Ren.

She dried her hair and walked into the bedroom. He was looking into his underwear drawer and held her lightsaber hilt in his hand.

“Why did you keep this?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said, evenly. 

Ren met her gaze. His eyes were aflame, with what she didn’t know. He was unpredictable, to say the least.

“I want you,” he said at last, although she could barely hear him. Ada wetted her lips - a nervous tick that had recently returned - and waited for him to make his move. 

He didn’t. She took a step toward him. His eyes didn’t leave hers.

She closed the distance between them and closed her hand over his, the hand that held her saber hilt. She took it from his grasp and tossed it aside.

Gathering her courage, she whispered, “I’ve had Ben Solo. I want Kylo Ren.”

“You might regret saying that,” he told her.

She arched an eyebrow at him, “Prove it.”

His mouth covered hers and he pulled her to him roughly. His hands in her hair, exposing her neck, only to be reminded of that collar… _take it off me_ , she begged. But instead, he moved past it, biting and sucking at the skin on her collarbone. She was sure they’d leave bruises; he was marking her for himself.

His hands were on the small of her back, pressing her into him. He knelt on his knees and took her breasts in his hands as he tugged on her nipples with his teeth. She felt a jolt of pleasure travel down her spine, stoking that oh-so-familiar flame between her legs.

Ada hadn’t expected this. She had expected him to be rough, forceful even, but she hadn’t expected to _like it._

He pushed her up against the wardrobe and she put a leg over his shoulder as he buried his face between her thighs. He tongue thrust between her slit, taking no time to let her acclimate to the sensation. She jerked at his insistent mouth as his tongue licked her from top to bottom and back up again, sucking on her clit. 

She moaned as her head dropped back against the wardrobe. He had liked doing this to her before. But this was different, it was _primal_. She bucked her hips against his mouth, tugging at his hair, demanding more of him. His tongue lapped at her and then he took all of her into his mouth at once. It was torturous for her and he knew it.

He held her as he stood, throwing her on the bed, his head dropping between her legs once more, tongue tracing circles around her throbbing nub. He pushed two fingers inside her and moaned into her pussy as she let him fuck her with his hand.

Ada groaned and massaged her own tits, playing with her nipples as she watched him go down on her. Then he looked up and watched her face as his tongue glided over her clit again and again. She moaned as he surfaced, his lips making a pop sound as they left her pussy. 

He pulled her up onto the mattress so that her head was hanging off slightly, tilted back. Ada knew where this was going. He stood over her, the head of his cock teasing her mouth. She flicked out her tongue and tasted him, opening her mouth wider. She teased him, her tongue slipping over the head of his cock, letting him so far in before pushing him out again. 

Kylo Ren wasn’t having it. He bucked his hips slightly against her and rammed his length into her mouth. She growled against him and a moan escaped his lips. He put his hands on either side of her head and fucked her mouth as she hummed in an effort not to gag. She played with herself as he watched his thick shaft disappear into her mouth. 

He pulled out of her at last and she gasped for air, her eyes watering, lips swollen. Ren pulled her toward him and then flipped her over, her knees on the edge of the bed and her ass in the air. She shuddered when his fingertips brushed her ass cheeks, trailing down to her inner thighs. He played with her pussy, pushing his digits in and out of her, making her wetter with each thrust. 

Ada went to touch herself again but felt the Force pin her arms to the bed in front of her. Her back lengthened as she pressed herself into his hand. She whimpered as she felt his fingers dig into the flesh of her hip.

He knelt down and parted her lips, tongue-fucking her cunt. She had started panting, the anticipation was making her feel desperate for more. His fingers rubbed her clit as his tongue thrust in and out of her. 

“You’ve always tasted so fucking good,” he groaned as he slapped her ass. Her hands clawed at the blankets on his bed. She licked her lips, “Please,” she moaned.

He had slipped his fingers back inside her, fucking her in earnest. “Ahh,” she whimpered, helpless to the pressure building inside her.

He pulled his fingers away and spanked her, hard. “Please, what?” he asked her as he rubbed his rock hard cock up and down her slit. “Mmm,” she moaned. He slapped the same spot and it stung. 

“Please fuck me,” she begged him. 

Kylo Ren rammed himself into her and Ada lost herself. His hips beat a rhythm against her ass and she growled like an animal into the bed sheets. His hands were on her hips but she felt the Force stroking her clit as he fucked her from behind.

“Oh my stars” she moaned as he used her. He grabbed her hair and pulled her upright so his chest was against her back. 

“Look at you,” he rasped, turning her face toward the mirror affixed to the wardrobe so she could watch while he fucked her. She’d never seen anything so erotic in her entire existence. 

One arm wrapped around her waist, the other had taken over playing with her clit. His dark hair fell into his eyes as he bit down on her shoulder. The pain melted into her pleasure as she begged for her release. “Please, please!” she panted, her head resting on his shoulder, her body starting to convulse and quiver. He could feel her walls spasming around his cock.

He stopped. “No, what-” she whined.

“Say my name,” he told her, his hand tilted her face up toward his. 

She bit her lip, a little voice in the back of her head was cautioning her. She ran her hand up his neck and wrapped it in his hair.

“Kylo Ren,” she breathed. He sunk himself into her once more.

“Say it again,” he growled.

“Kylo Ren,” she moaned and arched her back against him and he pinched her nipple between his fingers. Her mind went blank, she felt so full of him...

“Say it again,” he murmured into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her and cupped her pussy in his hands.

“Kylo Ren,” she cried, more of a prayer at this point. He groaned into her hair and his hips bucked wildly against her ass. 

“Say my name,” he roared. 

“Ahh -” she moaned, “Kylo Ren! Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren,” she screamed it over and over as she lost herself in him, her pussy throbbing, cum slicking her thighs, lasting longer than she had ever felt, he kept pressure on cunt, not rubbing it, but just the pressure of his hand had her writhing against him. She was vaguely aware that he was still fucking her, her legs were quivering as her orgasm dissipated and a new sensation built up again. 

He pushed her hair over her neck and kissed her shoulder, groaning as he came closer to his own release. She reached behind his neck and ran her fingers through his hair again, pulling him down gently so he was panting against her neck. 

“What’s my name?” she whispered. He moaned into her again. “Say it,” she said as his hands held onto her waist. 

“Fucking say it Ren,” his hips thrust into her furiously as held her close and she felt him come insider her.

“Ada,” he rasped as he finished, fully spilling himself inside her. 

He panted as his hips slowed, leaning his head back and moaning. Breathing deep. Ren kissed her behind her ear and skipped over her collar to her shoulder. He held his lips there a moment. Ada’s legs gave out beneath her and he pulled out of her, laying down next to her on his back, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. She rolled over and did the same. 

Her brain was still flooded with endorphins, just a swirling vortex of hormones. She turned her head and looked at him. His chest rising and falling, sweat trickling between his abs… She put a hand up to his face… to Kylo Ren’s face… turning him toward her. Her thumb brushed his lips and his eyes fluttered closed for a moment. Then he was looking at her again with that intense stare. She moved her body closer and pressed her lips to his. Just - a tender moment, a little like what they used to have - after what they had just done. He hadn’t pulled away from her, but he also hadn’t given her anything in return. 

She brushed his hair out of his face, her eyes flicked from his lips to his eyes and back. Her hand lingered on his face and she gave him a small smile. He covered her hand with his. He closed his eyes. 

They lay there like that for a while, not touching aside from their hands. 

“How do you know about Starkiller base?” he questioned.

“What?” Ada had heard him but was caught off guard and her brain felt sluggish.

“Starkiller base. It’s been on your mind,” he said. 

“I…” Ada slipped her hand from beneath Ren’s and scooted toward the edge of the bed. “I heard someone mention it… while I was being processed,” she lied.

Ren scrutinized her, searching for deception. Ada stood, breaking eye contact. 

She went into the bathroom and ran a cold shower, stepping under its icy spray. She rinsed herself of all the fluids she’d collected on her skin and toweled off. 

When she walked back into the bedroom, Ren was still lying on the bed where she left him. He looked years younger when he was relaxed. She sat on the opposite side of the bed and laid down so her face was across from his. 

“Hey,” she said, gently nudging his shoulder. He groaned. “You need to let me back into my room.” He breathed deeply and mumbled, “Just sleep here.”

Ada wanted boundaries with him. She didn’t want this to become common practice. She had started out on this little endeavor just wanting to get information on Starkiller Base and now look where she had ended up. He was far better at this game of cat and mouse than she was.

“Move over,” she told him, and he grudgingly moved to the other side of the bed. She slid under the covers next to him and turned out the lights. Within minutes, he was asleep and had flung an arm over her.

_This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Ada Zahn, she thought to herself, and he’s a better player than you thought._


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada learns that Starkiller is fully operational a little too late. She catches Hux breaking and entering Ren's quarters, and her escape attempt is foiled.

Ada woke before Ren did the next morning. Her body hurt and there was a dull, throbbing ache between her legs. She groaned quietly as she swung her legs out of bed. She needed to pee.

Kylo Ren rolled over as he felt her leave and watched her limp stiffly toward the bathroom. He smirked as he turned on his stomach. His mind felt clearer than it had in months. He knew what he needed to do about the map to Skywalker, and who needed to hunt down to get it. The way forward was obvious, now. And Starkiller base was at last fully operational, ready to demonstrate its might.

Ada winced as she returned from the bathroom and glared at him, noticing he was awake. She had slipped back into the shirt she was wearing the day before.

“Smug, are we?” she quipped. She thought she would feel embarrassed to be near him after… last night. But he seemed like his usual stoic self. 

She wasn’t sure if she should get back into bed or… stand there pretending to be a piece of furniture. She sighed and he sat up, rubbing his face. He looked at the time on his datapad. 

“It’s early,” he said. 

Ada made a noncommittal noise in her throat. He rose from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. After a minute, Ada heard the water run in the shower. She had picked up a towel she’d left on the floor last night and saw her saber hilt had rolled to a corner of the room. She bent down and held it in her hand, curling her fingers around it and remembering the way it felt to wield it. 

She had felt like she could take on the world. Or at least handle the responsibility she had to protect it. Ben had put a lot of effort into crafting this for her… but in the end, it wasn’t really hers. He’d always left her mark on her, even back then… their initials inscribed on the bottom, claiming her as his.

She snorted and thought bitterly about the love bites and welts that littered her skin. _Some things never change_. Ada hadn’t realized how long she had been standing there holding the hilt. He strode out of the shower, a changed man, apparently. Ready for another day of terrorizing the galaxy. 

He eyed what was in her hand. Then he turned to his wardrobe and started throwing his outfit on the bed. “It must be nice having a wardrobe that’s all the same color,” she said. “You never have to worry about not matching.” Ren pulled on his underwear, pants, and shirt, then began donning his armor. She watched him transform into a menace.

“What is happening on Starkiller base?” Ada readied her mind for his assault.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Espionage was never your forte.”

“What is the First Order planning on doing with a superweapon? Which planet will be the first to go? Which system?” she carried on, despite her fear. “Will you destroy what’s left of Isobe? Finally finish what you all started?” her voice shook.

He raised his hand; the familiar pressure squeezing itself into her mind. “Where did you find this information? Who told you?” he said, trying to coax the answer from her. She scrunched her eyes and concentrated on throwing up wall after wall, keeping the truth hidden.

Ren dropped from her mind, irritated.

“I thought we had come to an understanding,” he said, grabbing his mask in one hand and moving closer to her. 

“I understand nothing about you,” she said bitterly. 

“You seemed to understand last night.” That indifferent demeanor, that maddening stare. 

“Well excuse me if it takes more than one night of you fucking me to come to terms with the fact that the man I loved aligned himself with the tyrannical entity that dictated my life, destroyed my planet, and is responsible for countless deaths across the galaxy you mass-murdering, egotistical, self-indulgent asshole!” She threw her saber hilt at him, which he caught, effortlessly.

“But this is always what you have been, isn’t it?” she fumed. “It’s the way you’ve always been. Call yourself whatever the fuck you want; Ben Solo or Kylo Ren. I’ve known you and I will always know you. It was always meant to be me, remember?” She had calmed herself by the end of her tirade, a steely determination replacing her furor. 

Something was brewing behind his eyes. He tossed the hilt onto the bed, slammed his mask on his head and secured the clasps. He strode out of the room without another word. 

As soon as she was sure he was gone, Ada grabbed Ren’s data pad from his nightstand. She scanned his messages for anything about this massive superweapon. Any kind of communication to give her insight into when and where they would strike first. 

Ada trawled through more of Starkiller’s specs at last finding the technical readouts.

“It’s fully operational,” she said out loud, dread seeping into her voice. She had to warn someone. Anyone. 

But how? Her comms hadn’t worked since she’d boarded the Finalizer. The First Order had it locked down tight and it could take her days, if not weeks, to crack its encryptions. She didn’t have that kind of time. 

She pulled up her HUD to see if she could tap into any of the comms on the Finalizer or on Starkiller. The security protocol was maddening. She couldn’t get through any of them, not without more time.

Just then, a transmission popped up on the datapad. A live view of the surface of Starkiller from the Finalizer. At the top of the screen were coordinates and a countdown timer. Five minutes and counting. She programmed the coordinates into her HUD and --

The Hapian System.

They were going to destroy the New Republic capitol. Utterly obliterate everyone and everything. 

Ada dropped the datapad on the bed and scrambled over to the release button to the main door. She tried to pry the face panel off in order to hotwire it so she could get out. It was completely hopeless because she knew she'd never make it to the comms tower. 

There was only one option left; she could send a message using Kylo Ren’s data pad and encrypt the message, although they would trace the message back to her. She had fewer than five minutes to get that message out and for the people on the receiving end to decrypt it. There wasn’t enough time and she would potentially put her allies at further risk trying to communicate with them, giving away their position. She couldn’t save them no matter what she did.

“It’s too late,” she said, data pad in her lap as she sat on the floor, leaning against the bed.

She watched in horror as the weapon was primed for ignition. Those poor people had no idea that they only had a matter of minutes left to live. They’d never see it coming. 

Hux’s face filled the screen.

“Today,” he drawled, “is the end of the Republic. The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder. At this very moment, in a system far from here, the New Republic _lies_ to the galaxy while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance.” Ada’s teeth clenched together, listening to his lies.

“This fierce machine which you have built,” Hux continued, finally in his element, “upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate! To their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will bow to the First Order and will remember this… as the last day of the Republic!” Ada felt sick.

_No one will ever see it coming; it can destroy planets from the other side of the fucking galaxy._

Seconds to go, now. Ada blinked through her tears and forced herself to be a witness to this atrocity. 

The clock struck zero and she watched as the massive weapon seemed to suck all the energy in around it; the screen turned white as it fired. She screamed in agony - all of those people annihilated.

Dead. All of them were dead. The hope of the New Republic gone in the blink of an eye. She let the data pad slide from her hands and hoped the Resistance lived on. 

And she waited for Ren to return.

He had been gone for some time, now. Longer than usual. 

Ada stood in wait in complete darkness. She was getting off this ship if it was the last thing she’d do. She tried for the rest of the day to pry the collar off her neck, to no avail. She resigned herself to the fact that she’d just have to try to get out of here without using the Force. 

She had looked around for something heavy enough to use to disarm Ren as he walked through the door; she figured the table lamp was pretty solid, though she doubted it would accomplish very much because of that helmet of his. 

According to her last HUD scan, he was on Takodana, likely wreaking havoc over that map. Something had changed within him; he’d found something that thrilled him. Whatever this was broadcasting his emotions to her wasn’t the Force. It worried her, but she waited, nonetheless.

Eventually, he made his way back to the Finalizer. She switched off her HUD, waiting with baited breath. 

The doors whooshed open, light flooding the darkened interior of his quarters. She sprang into action and clocked the figure who walked through the door on the head. 

Hux? What the hell? She stood for a split second wondering why or how General Hux had access to Kylo Ren’s quarters before jumping through the open front door as it slid close once more.

Ada was dressed in Ren’s clothes, she had rolled the hem of the baggy pants up so she could see her feet. She padded through the halls barefoot, hoping she could evade capture. 

She had to get to the hangar bay - she could steal a ship from there. There was, of course, the minor problem of the turrets and autocannons, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. 

She was padding down a hallway when a contingent of officers walked down the hallway perpendicular. She darted behind a doorframe and tried to keep herself hidden until they passed. 

Double checking that the way forward was clear, she ran until she found the hall with the windows that overlooked the hangar. 

Ren’s ship was there and it looked like his flight crew was tending to its post-flight needs. How was she going to get to a ship unnoticed?

As luck would have it, it was at that moment a young officer walked through a door with his face buried in his datapad. Ada sized him up - she was fairly certain his uniform would fit…

She stood and followed behind him, padding closer until she could wrap her arm around his neck, cutting off his air supply. The officer choked and spluttered, dropping his datapad and she dragged him into a supply closet.

Ada emerged from the closet as a First Order officer. She smoothed her hair back and tucked it up in her cap. The pants were far too tight on her hips, but she’d make them work. She paused in the hallway to lace up her boots and retrieve the datapad.

“Everything alright, Officer?”

Ada was looking at her reflection in a pair of shiny chrome boots.

“Uh, yes, Captain. I just tripped on my bootlace and dropped my datapad,” Ada told her. Since their tussle on Isobe, Ada had learned that the shiny Stormtrooper went by Captain Phasma. She was relieved that Phasma never saw her face on her home planet.

“The Starkiller demonstration was impressive today, no?” Phasma said as, to Ada’s horror, she walked through the corridor alongside her.

“Absolutely, Captain,” Ada agreed, “A display the galaxy won’t forget any time soon.” 

Phasma bid her farewell as Ada veered off toward the hangar, using her HUD to identify which ship she could steal the easiest. Since the little mishap with a rogue Stormtrooper and that Resistance pilot, the TIEs had been outfitted with more aggressive security boots.

Just then, a siren sounded overhead, shouting about a “Code Yellow”, which Ada assumed translated into “escaped prisoner”. She rolled her eyes in annoyance - these people just couldn’t let anyone go.

Once again, she was out of time and moved quickly toward Ren’s ship. It was the only one not completely powered down and so she wouldn’t need to waste precious seconds with pre-flight systems. 

Ada strolled onto Ren’s ship, adjusting her high-necked shirt collar to ensure it hid the clasp around her neck, embodying an air of confidence. 

“Everyone out,” she ordered the ship’s crew, “Now!” she barked when they didn’t move. 

They scrambled down the ship’s ramp and she closed the hatch. Her HUD highlighted the switches and flight controls as she powered it up quickly.

Under no circumstances should Ren’s ship be taking off with Ren not onboard. The engines roared to life and for a split second, Ada thought she might actually make it out of the hangar, when the engines started sputtering. She gave them a little more juice but she was being held in place. There was only one thing it could be since his ship didn’t have a restraining boot.

The engines started overheating and the hull had started to pop against the force being applied to it. 

“You wanna destroy your ship to keep me here? Fine,” she said and pushed the engines to their max. Ada felt the ship start to pull away from his grasp, just a few more seconds and she’d be free --

“Emergency shutdown initiated,” the ship calmly informed her as the engines died. 

“No,” Ada said, flicking the ignition again. Nothing happened. “No, no, no! Shit!”

Kylo Ren was going to snap her neck. 

_Do something!_ Ada screamed at herself. She grabbed a fire extinguisher just before the boarding ramp was ripped away from the body of the ship and slammed into the ground. 

She pulled the pin out of the extinguisher and sprayed her assailant with its foggy chemicals and charged at him, ramming herself into his solid frame and knocking him back just enough for her to run past.

Ada fled, having no clue where she was going to go when she skidded to a halt in front of what seemed like the entire ship’s legion of Stormtroopers. Captain Phasma watched her with her head cocked to the side. 

Ren was stomping toward her as she watched the Stormtrooper watching her. Ada thought about running at them, hoping they would just kill her. It would probably be a less painful death than the one she would be facing now. 

He was behind her and he grabbed her by her pronged collar and dragged her out of the hangar bay. Tears welled in her eyes as their point dug into her flesh. He pulled her through the halls and finally let go of her as he threw her into her first dungeon. With the chains, she thought as she tried to create space between her skin and the metal spikes.

He was seething. Her eyes felt huge in her head as she countered his moves, keeping him in front of her. His fists were clenched at his side, pacing, watching her through that mask like a caged tiger. Ren ignited his lightsaber, tearing at the walls and rending the metal apart. Then he took two massive steps toward the table and flipped it so it crashed into the wall. Ren sent it flying across the room with a wave of his hand.

Ada watched this tirade, eyebrows raised, biting her fingertip as she recognized that this man’s power was also his biggest weakness. 

She sucked a breath through her teeth, “Yeah,” she said, noticing his robes had been coated in fire retardant, “That’s gonna stain. I hope those aren’t dry clean only.” Ren stomped over to her, ripping his helmet off and casting it aside.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you’ve just done?” Ren managed to keep his voice low but the rage that bubbled to the surface was evident. 

“Only that your ship’s gonna need a few repairs,” she said, cooly, “and that Hux broke into your quarters, but that doesn’t seem to be of any real concern to you at the moment.” He shoved his massive hand against her throat, forcing her up against the wall. The prongs weren’t long enough to actually impale her but they pierced her skin until she felt blood seeping. 

“The only thing keeping you alive is your usefulness,” his voice a quiet rumble, like distant thunder.

“Maybe I don’t want to stay alive. You even think about that? Stars-forbid some unfortunate soul should my place,” she strained. His grip didn’t loosen, but there was a shift in his eyes.

“I don't want to stay alive to help you and the monsters you work with destroy the galaxy. I’d rather be fucking dead,” she growled and manage to summon enough strength to push him off momentarily, but he pressed himself against her once more. 

“You saw it…” he said, “You saw Starkiller… on my datapad. And... ”

_Fuck._

Ada pushed him off again, but this time she gave him a swift left hook to the face. He stumbled back, shellshocked. She hit him again with an uppercut while he was bent over, sending him stumbling backwards. Ada aimed a hard kick at his back and he grabbed onto the wall to stay upright.

Her left arm was still enhanced with cybernetics, still stronger than it normally would have been, even without all the components of her brace. 

This time, she was the one with her hand around his throat. She squeezed, feeling the structures beneath his skin and muscle start to give way. There was a brief look of slight shock on his face, and then he shoved her back across the room with a Force push. 

They pushed themselves off the floor, eyeing each other. Ren rubbed at his neck; it was turning red. _Good_ , she thought, _I hope it hurts_. 

“You have to live,” he said after a long pause.

“No, I don’t,” Ada breathed, hands on her knees. “I was never supposed to be here with you.”

“Are you sure about that?” 

“What are you talking about?” she shot back, “You saw the same thing I saw; one of us was meant to die that night.”

“But you didn’t die.”

“Lucky me,” she sneered. “What a treat to end up here with you.” She hated it here. She hated this ship, the First Order, she hated -- she hated what Kylo Ren was. 

“Are you giving in?” he asked, eager anticipation permeating his intimidating facade.

“Giving in to what? Hopelessness? Anger? Fear?” she gave him a heartless chuckle, “Yes, I’m allowing myself a moment to sit with those emotions, Ren, but they don’t control me. You don’t control me and you never will. I’m not afraid of death and I’m no longer afraid of losing touch with the Force, of losing my source of power. You’ve taken it from me already. You’ve killed or hurt every person I love, ruined my home, you ruined… us. And you’re well on your way to destroying me. Because I will never give in to you, to the First Order, or the Empire. I look forward to the day when I’m no longer of any use to you,” she finished, leaning against the wall.

She wiped away the blood that streamed down her neck in thin lines. 

“You’re never going to find that map,” she said softly, “The Resistance will find Skywalker first, despite your best attempts, and whether or not the Jedi rise again, hope will remain and you will lose. I will help them until my dying breath and watch your dreams turn to ash.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada learns of Ren's plot to kill his father and seeks out answers to her own questions.

Kylo Ren took Ada back to his quarters and chained her to the wall of her glass cell. He left and didn’t come back. She didn’t care.

After a long while, a physician entered and informed her that he would be inspecting her neck wounds for signs of infection; however, he could not remove her collar without sedating her. Ada acquiesced as Ren strode into the room, presumably to make sure she didn’t rouse herself and kill everyone on board.

Ada stared at Kylo Ren through the glass walls of her cage as the doctor jabbed her in the arm with a needle. Blackness crept into the corners of her vision even as she fought to stay conscious…

It was still dark in this room… not the same room she’d been in, not her cage. She blinked slowly and turned. 

_No_ , she thought, _not again. Not this room_. Above her, as large as a building, Snoke loomed. 

“There had been an awakening,” he growled. “Have you felt it?”

“Yes,” Kylo Ren said, standing next to her. She stood with him, shoulder to shoulder, not daring to move even though she didn’t think they could see her.

“There’s something more,” Snoke said. “The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon. In the hands of your father...”

 _Han Solo_. Her heart beat faster against her ribs.

“Han Solo,” Snoke finished, searing Ren with his gaze.

_Two heartbeats._

Ren said, “He means nothing to me.”

“Even you, Master of the Knights of Ren… have never faced such a test,” Snoke said, voice rumbling throughout the cavernous room.

“By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced,” Ren assured him.

“We shall see. We shall see…”

Ada’s eyes opened, only to be in the dark once more. She felt her neck. The collar was still there, but the prongs had been removed and there was a piece of gauze covering her irritated flesh. 

She was in his bed, chained to his headboard. She had been right when she told Kylo Ren that he’d never get to that map in time. That the Resistance would beat them to it.

The map was in the hands of Han Solo, Ren’s father. 

_“He means nothing to me.”_ Ren had said. She couldn’t imagine that to be completely true, except… he had managed to kill every other good and decent thing about himself. Killing his own father wouldn’t be out of character for someone as malicious as Kylo Ren.

Ada wanted so desperately to get off this ship. She wanted to be with her friends, her family, the Resistance. 

She’d had her own misgivings about the Resistance and the New Republic, that much was true. But destroying planets… entire systems. The Resistance would never do anything like that. They killed to protect themselves, but they only existed because the First Order existed, because the First Order refused to surrender.

Kylo Ren stirred next to her. She continued to stare at the ceiling as he rolled over to face her. 

“You’re going to kill him, aren’t you?” she asked, not expecting an answer. “That’s why you need me here. Because in some sick way, I’m helping make you stronger in your convictions.”

“Yes,” he whispered. 

“Don’t,” she whispered back. “Please, don’t do it.”

Ren inhaled and touched her face. She tried not to flinch. 

“Your compassion is… intoxicating,” he said, positioning himself above her. “You never met Han Solo, and yet, you care about him as if he… because you never knew your own father.”

“Don’t,” Ada said, more stringently this time. “Don’t talk about my father.”

“Can I tell you something?” he said softly, twirling a strand of her hair between his fingers. It wasn’t really a question, and Ada waited for him to continue. 

“Han Solo didn’t deserve the family he had,” Ren said.

“He didn’t deserve a son like you,” Ada whispered viciously. 

“Didn’t he? One could argue he helped make me this way.”

Ada shook her head sadly. What she wouldn’t give for one more day with her own father. She knew that not all parent-child relationships were good or even healthy; she understood severing those ties if the relationship was hurtful or toxic. 

But to kill your own parent because he was - what? - absent, distant? She just didn’t understand it. 

“I don’t expect you to understand it,” Ren said in response to her thoughts. “I expect you to accept it, as I have.”

“Accept it? Do you even hear yourself? What - what are the words coming out of your mouth? Why do you need to kill your own father? He’s left you alone, hasn’t he? Isn’t that what you wanted?” Ada was stunned at his callousness. 

“His death will serve to make me stronger,” Ren said simply.

“Like mine was supposed to?” she asked turning to face him, at last.

“Yes.” He ran his fingers through her hair. She hated that it felt rather pleasant and she moved her head away.

“Then why didn’t I die?”

“Because you hadn’t finished teaching me the lesson.”

Ada watched his eyes, ambient light reflecting off them. His face moved closer to hers.

“Passion is power,” he said as he kissed her. It wasn’t like the other night … a week ago? Ada thought, a month?

He was gentle, tender; his hand avoided the raw skin around her neck. 

“We could be together, like we never could in that other life… I could give you the galaxy,” he murmured against her jaw. 

“That ship sailed long ago,” Ada said. “You do what you want with me while you have me, but I will never love Kylo Ren.”

For a moment, he looked like the young man she remembered - so conflicted between what he wanted and what he needed. _Looking for love in all the wrong places_ , Ada ruminated.

He pulled his face away from her. “Ada, I’m not asking you to love me.”

How? How did he know how to break her fucking heart over and over again? Every time she thought she had built her walls up enough, he found another way through. 

Kylo Ren held her head in his hands as he leaned down, his mouth on hers. She moved her mouth away and placed a hand on his cheek. 

“Then what are you asking me?” she asked, her eyes wide. 

His hand made its way down her body and started gathering the excess material of her shirt and pulling it up over her hips. His hand caressed her thigh, making her head feel slightly cloudy.

“Why me?” she asked him, fighting against her own wave of irrational desire. She pressed her thighs together to prevent him from distracting her further. She felt him smirk. 

“Couldn’t you have… couldn’t you do this to anyone?” 

“I don’t care about other people the way I do you,” he said nuzzling her. 

“Is that supposed to make me feel special? It just makes you... “ she searched desperately for a word besides _unloveable_. 

“You’re right,” he agreed. 

“Do you --” she refocused, “did you love me? Ever? Did you ever actually care about me, about my happiness, my well-being? Aside from how my life or death could benefit you?” 

_Why are you doing this to yourself, Ada? Why are you setting yourself up, yet again?_ Maybe she was a masochist.

“I’ve suffered to rid myself of those memories, Ada,” he said, looking at her. 

“I’ve suffered, too,” she replied, “to cling to them.”

“So don’t. Don’t hold on to the things that make you weak.”

She sat up, shoving him off. “You didn’t make me weak! I wasn’t weak because I loved you - I was weak because I let you use me, like I am now.”

Why had she ever met him? If she had never gone with Luke to that godforsaken island... 

She drew her knees up to her chest, silent sobs wracking her body. 

“I don’t know how you handle this,” she cried, “I can’t do this with you, please.” She wanted to go home, she wanted someone to hug her who actually cared about her. She was somewhat surprised when he pulled her in toward his chest, wrapping his arms around her and holding her there. 

She surprised herself even more by letting him, and when she eventually encircled his arms around his waist. “It hurts so much,” she said after she cried herself into exhaustion.

“I know,” he replied. 

She gave into him, his needs, his wants. Because when the sun rose the next day, it wouldn’t matter if she did or didn’t. Kylo Ren would do what he would have to do with or without her. He would fulfill his destiny come hell or high water.

She had no more tears left to cry tonight, anyway, she told herself. So she let him touch her, let him get close to her. He sat with his back resting against the headboard and her chains rattled against it as she straddled him.

“Can you take these off?” she asked him. “I promise not to strangle you.” He laughed at that, feeling the purple, hand-shaped bruise at his neck. He waved his hand and the shackles fell off. 

Ada brought his mouth to hers and kissed him deeply, not pretending he was someone he wasn’t. Just someone who… needed something she could provide. 

She moved her hips against him as he pulled her top off and rubbed a thumb over her nipple. Her hands roamed down and she circled her clit with her fingers. Ren pushed back on her shoulders so he could watch her. 

She felt a little self-conscious that he was watching her do this to herself. She didn’t normally have an audience… He tore his gaze away.

“Do you want me to do it, too?” he asked. She nodded, pulse quickening as she pulled his pants down around his knees. She straddled his thighs again and he grasped his cock in his hand, moving over the tip and down to the base of his shaft.

Her lips parted and her breathing quickened. She dipped a finger into her wetness and slickened her clit. Her eyes half closed as she watched him stroke himself, his hand rotating slightly as he moved up and down. A shudder of breath escaped from her parted lips. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth as she stifled a whimper. The pleasure within her was building, like it did when she was alone. 

She licked her fingers and re-wet herself, massaging those sensitive areas around her clit faster, occasionally tracing a finger around her opening. She moaned, her movements becoming more erratic, her nails dug into the flesh on his hip as she steadied herself. She opened her eyes to find him watching her, enraptured. 

Her eyes squeezed shut as she made herself cum, panting as she moaned straddling his thighs. 

“Ada,” he said gruffly, his fingers encircling her arm. She moved farther up his legs, rubbing his hard cock up and down her pussy, teasing him with her lips. His hips thrust upward in impatience so she planted her hips firmly on top of him.

She remembered a time when she had held him still with the Force and fucked him with her mouth. What she wouldn’t give to be able to do that now. 

Kylo Ren chuckled.

“Stop reading my thoughts.”

“Can’t help it; they're very loud,” he replied, moving his hips so he rubbed himself on her clit. She teased him more by pushing the tip of his cock inside of her, moving her hips up and down on it. He growled, trying to get a better angle so he could ravage her pussy. 

“No,” she said, pushing him away so his back was against the headboard again. “Just let me have this,” she said, kissing him.

She lowered herself onto him, relishing the way he filled her, stretched her. She took him in deeper and gasped as his cock stroked that sweet spot inside her. “Mmm,” she groaned as she took him all inside her. 

One of her hands was pressed against the headboard for balance, the other gripped his shoulder as she rode him, slowly at first, letting herself get used to his size. He leaned forward, caressing each of her nipples with this tongue, pulling on them gently with his lips.

Her rhythm quickened and Ren cupped her ass in his hands, meeting her thrust for thrust, at her own pace. 

“Fuck, Kylo,” she moaned as she leaned forward, her ass bouncing up and down as she fucked him. He groaned and wrapped his arms around her, holding her hips steady as he thrust upwards. He could feel her tensing, the little quakes in her arms and legs telling him she was getting close. 

He freed an arm and pulled her face to his, his lips on hers. She broke away gasping as he stroked her clit with the Force. “Ahh, fuck,” she squeaked, “ohh -” He nipped at the skin behind her ear and bit her shoulder as he felt her pussy tighten. 

“Come for me, Ada,” he told her. He felt her toes curl and her body tense; her muscles shivered as she let go. He took her nipple into his mouth again as she finished, and she groaned, her rhythm slowing, taking him deeper within her. 

She leaned away from him and moved her hips so the tip of his cock teased her opening before sinking down on him once more. She continued the long, slow strokes until his eyes were half closed and he was practically begging her to finish him off. 

Ada sank down onto him, fucking him relentlessly. He cupped her ass again, forbidding her to slow down. She felt him swell inside her; that sweet moment before he came; he looked at her, eyes glazed over in a fog of lust. She watched as his brows knit together and the muscles in his neck strained and his fingers buried themselves in her hips. She could feel him pumping her full of his cum, his cock twitching inside her and she felt fulfilled for a moment.

Ren held her to him, an arm around the small of her back. He pushed the hair away from her shoulder and blew on her neck. It felt nice, considering how hot the room felt. She lifted her hips off of him and leaned back against the headboard next to him. After a while, he reached down and held her hand. 

“I did care about you,” he said. “I want you to know that. That I cared.”

“But it can’t be like that now,” Ada said.

“No, it can’t.”

“Is it worth it?” she asked, turning her face toward him, “Killing yourself?”

Kylo Ren hoped so, he really did. 

“It will be,” told her.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada takes on the task of all the King's horses and all the King's men, putting Kylo Ren back together again.

She had been thinking about Hux, oddly enough, before she fell asleep. Why had he broken into Ren’s quarters? Hux knew Ren wasn’t inside… and he had assumed that Ada would be locked in her cell. What had he been hoping to find? Given his history, Ada had always known he was a lecherous little man not above spying on others in order to get ahead…

She’d been thinking of all the reasons Hux could have for breaking into a place he didn’t belong when she drifted off. 

“No,” she screamed, “No, don’t hurt her,” Ada begged.

Kylo Ren jerked awake. 

“Ada,” Ren touched her shoulder. She didn’t move, except to say, “Ben, don’t let them hurt her…”

“Who?” he asked.

“Rey… run, Rey. Don’t let him in!” she shrieked. Her eyes were closed but there were tears streaming down her face. 

“You’re strong. Resist,” Ada said to the dark. Ren crawled down the bed and took her face in his hands.

“Ada,” he said, firmly, shaking her slightly, “Ada, wake up!”

Her breathing was ragged and her eyes rolled back in her head. Suddenly, her arm shot out and she grabbed his wrist, fingers like iron digging into his flesh. Her eyes had stopped rolling around, but they were still half closed.

“I know you feel conflict,” she whispered, “I know you do. The Light is calling you home. And all you feel is agony, torment. The choice is there, the promise of peace within you… Is it even a choice any more?”

She let go of his wrist and fell back on the bed. 

“Don’t kill Han Solo. It won’t bring you the solace you so desperately seek.”

Ren watched her as her breathing slowed and she returned to a normal state of sleep. He lay down next to her, pushing himself quietly into her mind. He had to know what she saw.

_Vader’s mask on its pedestal, Ren talking to it… “I’ll finish what you started,” he said._

_“Show me…"_

_Rey’s face as he tried to pull the map from her mind._

_Charging the weapon again to annihilate the rest of the Resistance; Ren could feel Ada’s fear, her sorrow._

_“Bring her to me,” Snoke growled. Ada’s heartbeat quickened._

_Then… Han Solo. He would be there, at Starkiller. It was his chance to finally free himself from this constant torment. Supreme Leader promised him that._

“Snoke is lying to you,” Ada said. Her eyes had opened and Ren pulled out of her mind. 

She wasn’t angry; just tired. She reached up and brushed his dark waves out of his eyes.

“Come back to me. Come back to us. Come home,” she whispered, “It’ll be okay.”

His jaw worked furiously and the ambient light caught the wetness that pooled in his eyes. 

Ren pulled away from her, got out of bed, and dressed. He would have a very busy day today.

###

Ada tried to figure out how she had done it. Was it the Force allowing her to see these things despite the collar? Was she somehow less under its control when she slept?

She felt ill all day. She knew Ren would do what… he was told to. She wondered if she’d be able to feel it when it happened… when he killed Han Solo. 

Ren no longer left the datapad in his room, but he had left her unchained so she could use the refresher. He didn’t plan on coming back for a while, then, she concluded.

Ada wandered back into the bedroom after using the toilet and rummaged through his wardrobe for a sweater of some kind. It was cold in his room. One of his garments slid off the hanger and fell to the floor. She bent to retrieve it and saw something on the bottom of the closet. Her amulet.

Ada picked up the rancor claw and draped the cord around her neck. She walked to the refresher and filled the sink to its brim with water She dimmed the lights before walking back to the sink and swirled the water. Ada had never tried scrying before, but she hoped the magick would work despite the choker. She didn’t try to concentrate on any one thing or person; just opened herself up to the possibility of experiencing something outside herself. Ada felt the ichor swirling through her veins; it felt cold, like mist, when she exhaled. Green vapor escaped from her lips, her nose, the amulet; it illuminated the water in the sink softly. Ada felt her eyelids become heavy as she stared into the water, but what she saw was far away...

She wasn't standing next to the people in her vision, but she was watching everything happen from a high vantage point. She could see it all, hear it all. The girl, Rey, was on the surface of Ilum, inside Starkiller Base. Kylo Ren still believed he could forego finding the droid and use her to get the rest of the map to Skywalker… he would use everything he had to break her. 

Ada sent Rey strength and fortitude, hoping the girl would feel her support. “He can’t get that map, Rey. Don’t let him have it.”

Ada felt sorry for the girl, knowing how much pain she would soon experience. But she also felt that there was something different about her, something Kylo Ren wouldn’t expect. 

Han Solo was also planetside; right where Ren needed him to be. 

_“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it…”_ Ren’s words echoed through her mind. 

The look in Han Solo’s eyes as he thought, for only a moment, that he had reached the little Light left in his son… that look would haunt her for the rest of her days.

“Ben…” she whispered, reaching out into nothingness; scrying wasn't like using the Force, Ada was quickly discovering. She wouldn't be able to reach him before -

Without hesitating, Kylo Ren ignited his saber. Han Solo didn’t understand. He didn’t understand that his own son had just ended his life. She watched, as Ren did, as Solo’s body fell over the side of the platform and into the abyss. She felt tears slide over her cheeks. Part of her held out hope for him, despite everything she knew.

Ren’s face lifted to the figures above him as one of them fired a bowcaster shot that caught him in the chest. The searing pain Ada felt shook her out of the connection. 

She stumbled backward, breathing hard, clutching her chest was a gaping wound should have been. Nothing there. Perhaps, she thought, strong emotions made the connection stronger; why else had she felt the bowcaster blast?

Quickly, she returned to the sink and focused on establishing a connection again. Something was shifting. She could feel it. She shouldn’t have been able to but she could sense it awakening. The feeling made her pulse quicken, the hairs on the back of her neck and arms stood on end. 

Who had she seen there with Kylo Ren? Ada concentrated on recalling it… the girl, Rey; the Wookie, she assumed was Han’s flying companion, Chewbacca; and… the Stormtrooper… FN2187. He went by Finn, now. But she had known him by another name, once.

Ada struggled to reconnect with the magick, but there was a small strip of windows at the top of the wall by his bed. She climbed on the headboard and pulled herself up to try to get a visual on what was happening on the surface of Ilum. 

She could just make it out from this angle. Ada thought the Resistance was doing an admirable job of blowing things up, when a massive explosion erupted from the middle of the Starkiller complex.

 _The oscillator_ , she thought, _they did it._ She smiled. Ada watched as the ground surrounding the complex began to collapse. Destroying the oscillator had made the surface unstable.

She dropped to the floor from her perch and clutched the talisman around her neck. Scrying this time was different, more intense and real, but it also used more of her energy to sustain the connection. 

Ada was standing next to Rey as Kylo Ren bared down on her. “Use the Force, Rey,” Ada said, placing a hand on Rey’s shoulder. 

Ada didn’t know what would happen, touching someone in this state of existence. But in the next instant, Rey opened her eyes and ducked under Ren’s blade.

Ada pulled herself back into her body. She felt exhausted. 

Her eyes searched for something she couldn’t see. Ren. Where was he? She searched for him, but her energy was ebbing away. _I just need to feel him,_ she thought to the universe.

Ada had been right; Rey possessed a power Ren hadn't expected in the least. She was strong, that much was true, but there was something furtive, untamed, about her power. And he wanted it. He had only felt anything like it once before... in a practicing Jedi long ago... the one currently imprisoned in his quarters. But she was off limits to Snoke. He refused to share her with anyone else. Not to protect her - she didn't need his protection - but to protect himself, his status with Snoke.

This one, though... he sensed a darkness in her that could be manipulated, corrupted for his own gain. If, that was, he survived the brutal ass-kicking she just gave him. 

_Injured. Grievously. But not dead. Not yet,_ Ada thought.

A part of her - a part she loathed - felt relieved he was alive. She consoled herself by convincing her own mind that if his death meant nothing, she would be just as callous as he.

“What do I do?” she asked the empty room. Ada could heal him… if they took the collar off.

It was her chance. Her one shot at freedom. 

She felt rumble through the ship. Quickly, she scrambled up onto her perch and watched as the planet imploded.

 _They escaped. Finn and Rey had survived._ She breathed a sigh of relief.

She turned her focus and pulled up her HUD, seeking Ren. Her HUD tracked his blinking beacon; he was on a medical freighter back to the Finalizer, she assumed. 

Clasping the rancor talon in her hand, she watched the ichor swirl around her skin. She searched for him, using the last stores of energy she could muster with the collar on.

When she opened her eyes, she was standing next to him, looking down at his battered body. He should’ve died, but he hadn’t.

Blood covered the gurney he lay on, medics were scrambling back and forth, switching out fluids and monitoring his basic functions. Hux was onboard as well, telling everyone what to do. 

Chaos.

She looked down at him again; Ren’s eyes were halfway open, clouded with pain. A gruesome burn ran from his chest to his forehead.

He thought she was a hallucination. 

“I can heal you,” Ada told him, “I can meet you when you arrive on the Finalizer and I can heal you. You know I can.” His face was pallid and we struggled to stay conscious.

“Tell them to bring me to the medical bay and remove my collar. It’s the only way you’ll live.” Ada had no idea if that was the truth. She touched his shoulder, her fingers left bloody when she removed them. 

Ren didn’t move for a few seconds, but just stared at the place her fingers had touched. She started to think he hadn’t heard her after all, when he reached out and grabbed a medic by the arm. 

“Bring my prisoner to the med bay. Tell them to remove the choker,” he rasped, using the last of his energy.

“Sir?” the medic questioned.

“Do it,” Ren commanded, grinding his teeth together.

Back to her own body, in his bedroom aboard the Finalizer. She had only a few minutes to collect herself, to prepare for what she had to do. She hadn’t healed anyone but herself before, but she figured it would be a similar practice to heal another person. 

When an Officer, a physician, and two Stormtroopers came to collect her, she was ready. 

She picked the physician’s brain on the way to the medbay.

“What is the extent of his injuries?” she asked, needing to know what to expect. 

“According to the freighter crew, the lightsaber wounds are mostly superficial, though some have damaged deeper musculature structures. The bowcaster wound is most threatening,” the physician answered.

She nodded as he continued, “We will transfer Lord Ren to a private and secure portion of the facility and ensure he is stable before we can let you --” he gestured vaguely with his hand, “do whatever it is you’re going to do.”

The physician glanced at her and asked, “You’re sure you can do this? Heal him? Because if we aren’t successful… if he dies, we’re all dead. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir, I understand.” The physician wasn’t being dramatic or cruel in his statement; it was only a matter of fact that if this team let Kylo Ren die, they would be executed.

She turned to the First Order officer, “You need to take this off now,” pointing to her collar. The Officer, understandably, looked quite put off by that notion. 

“I have to have time to prepare my… abilities. If you don’t take it off now, I won’t be able to perform my duty,” she said calmly. “I won’t hurt you; you have my word.”

The Officer stood still until the physician shook him, “For fuck’s sake, man,” the good doctor yelled, “take the cursed thing off her!”

The Officer nodded and hurried to remove the collar from Ada’s neck. She felt it unclasp and it clattered to the floor. 

She didn’t bother picking it up. As she walked, she unwound the gauze around her neck and let her skin breathe. It felt blissful to be free. 

Immediately after being free of that choker a calming sense of purpose returned to her. She would heal Kylo Ren, and then she was getting the fuck off this ship.

The doors to the med bay slammed open as medics swarmed the facility, carrying Ren’s body on a stretcher. Two medics were holding several bags of fluids, trying desperately to sustain his life.

“Out of the way!” one of them barked. Ada removed herself from the scene and waited to be told when to act. She tried to meditate and let the Force refuel her energy; she had a feeling she was going to need all she could get.

His injuries were quite extensive. Ada wasn’t sure how well she could heal multiple structural wounds, and that bowcaster wound - several organ systems had been damaged. She’d do what she could with what she had.

The medics worked to get Ren prepped and, at least, staunch most of the bleeding, irrigated his wounds, and bandaged them.

“He’s ready for you now,” the physician informed her, stripping blood-soaked gloves off his hands. Sweat glistened at his brow. “Godspeed,” he told her. He closed the door behind her and locked it. 

She turned her attention to the broken man in front of her. The monitors beeped steadily - a good sign, Ada thought.

She turned the lights down low and pulled a chair nearer his bed. She didn’t sit in it immediately; instead holding her hands over his body, starting at his head and moving toward his feet. She needed to discern which places needed more of her energy and sometimes, the innocent-looking wounds were the most deadly. 

There was a huge spike as she passed over the bowcaster wound, naturally. And the damage the lightsaber had done to his chest needed attention. The rest could wait.

Ada relaxed into the chair next to his bed, crossed her legs and placed a hand on either side of his chest. She felt him breathing and she slowed her breaths to match the pace of his own. 

She concentrated on pouring her own life-force into him, giving his body the energy it needed to repair itself, encouraging the Light that remained within him to heal his wounds. Soon, she was deep in meditation, letting the Force flow through her. Ada let the ichor supplement her healing abilities; she still felt drained from scrying and wasn't sure she could manage to heal him on the Force alone.

She had started to see snippets of his memories. It didn’t surprise her since she was touching his skin and his mind was in no position to keep his thoughts locked away. 

_His mother's face, her voice. She was telling him about his lineage... that Vader was his grandfather. His father's face when Ren drove his lightsaber through Han Solo's abdomen... falling into that abyss. Happy memories, too - Chewbacca dangling a pair of dice above a much younger Ben Solo. He laughed so much more when he was little,_ Ada thought sadly. She put a little more energy into coaxing out similar memories, joyful ones. She told herself they'd help him heal faster; who was she to argue with her own logic?

So many lighter memories from his childhood, so many with Chewbacca, of all the beings he had come into contact with over the years. Ren held a particular affinity to the Wookie. It seemed fitting that Chewbacca had given him the most grievous injury. _Keep going,_ Ada encouraged him, _I need more memories of the Light._

Some recollections with Luke, here and there. Snippets of conversation with his uncle about his future as a powerful Force-user, Luke encouraging Ben to control his passions, his power. Ren resented that idea, even then as a youngling. Snippets of Snoke here and there; Ada avoided those memories. Darkness wasn't helpful now. Then, her face - reaching her hand out to his. He didn't trust her; he trusted no one. And yet, he reached for her anyway. 

When their fingertips met, his life changed; everything was different in that moment. Until then, he'd been sure of his path with Snoke, but she had intruded and shook his assurance in himself and in the Dark side. He hadn't realized how heavy a burden he had been carrying until she reached out to him, until she shared just a little of that burden with him. He didn't know how she knew the things she did, how she could break into her mind in ways even Snoke couldn't do, how she witnessed the darkest parts of him and still... cared for him enough to offer a way out, to offer her life for his.

Her power was like nothing he'd ever experienced. Not only Light, but Darkness, too - a beautiful, precarious balance that many could only dream of achieving. And here she was, balance embodied, standing in front of him. She had no idea what she was, the power - the mastery - she possessed. He could tell Snoke about her, but something held him back; the feeling so strong, he didn't dare examine his own motives. Not then, anyway.

He hadn't wanted to feel the way he did about her. He fought it at every turn, keeping his emotions surrounding her as buried as he could, at the time. If Snoke found her, he would destroy her. Not kill her, but obliterate the goodness in her. And he just couldn't bear the thought that she wouldn't always be a beacon of harmony in the Force. Selfishly, he worried she would overthrow his claim to power, if Snoke managed to turn her. Still, loving her was never a part of his plans. 

She had very nearly ruined it all. But in the end, he had proved himself loyal to the Sith, even if he hadn't been successful in killing her. At the time, he thought her dead, gone. And the emotions - the regret, the guilt and shame - arose soon thereafter. He knew they would, but he hadn't expected the agony that accompanied them. It was like he could feel his soul being torn apart. He'd tell himself that killing Luke was self-defense, but the rest of the Jedi were fleeing, and she was protecting them. He knew she could've killed him on that cliff. And she chose not to; she spared his life and he had every intention of killing her anyway. He was a murderer, and there was no coming back from something so heinous.

And then, out of no where, she showed up on his ship disguised as a Stormtrooper, of all things. How she had kept herself hidden from him was beyond him, but he knew she was more powerful than she had ever been despite her lingering injuries from the exploding lightsaber. She still balanced those opposing sides of the Force beautifully, but more knowledgeable and self-assured than before. The ground had been ripped out from under him when it was her face beneath that helmet... then she managed to disarm him. He recalled how deadly she had looked with his lightsaber in her hands, ready to strike him down in that moment. 

There would come a day when he had to decide what to do with her. He couldn't keep her as a prisoner forever; she'd find a way to escape or she'd be killed in trying to do so. Snoke advised him to use her as an amplifier and dispose of her when she was no longer of use... In a rare moment of total vulnerability, he had spent more time than he wanted to admit on preparing himself to kill her - again. He had killed his own father for the promise of power, hadn't he? He had let his anger and resentment fuel his resolve when it came to killing Han Solo. Ada had a habit of keeping herself alive and he had a feeling that, however her life ended, he would have very little to do with it. But he'd never let Snoke know that any other outcome than her certain death by his hand would be possible. He had to believe that giving himself to the Dark side would prove more powerful than whatever ability Ada possessed. At this point, his faith in the Dark side and its malignant promises was all he had left.

Ada swallowed and forced herself to keep focus, despite his sinister thoughts. She hadn't meant to wander down this path in his mind. Ben Solo was still alive; now she had proof, at least for herself. The knowledge didn't give Ada any relief; on the contrary, it made her despondent. Because she shared Ben's - Kylo Ren's - ambivalence; even now, with all the villainous acts he committed, she held out hope for him. Ada hoped, with all her being, that she could start to heal more than just his physical trauma, giving life to something... more pure.

Ada admitted that she was impressed Ren had managed to live; a testament to his power, his resolve. She couldn’t think of anyone else strong enough to withstand the kind of bodily harm he survived. Except, perhaps, Rey…

Rey was strong in the Force, Ada had sensed as much in Ren's thoughts; stronger than Kylo Ren in many ways. Ada hoped she would find Skywalker and be trained in the ways of the Jedi. Maybe, one day - if she and Rey lived - they could meet.

Kylo Ren's thoughts turned to the map, to Skywalker. His plans were unravelling before his eyes. 

_Yes,_ Ada thought, _you’re too late. And your choices have triggered the beginning of the end. I hope you can see that now._

“The Jedi will live to fight another day” Ada said aloud and his heart rate spiked. She settled back into her quiet place as she said, “and so will you.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada tries to push Ren closer to the Light before discovering an entirely new world within her dreams. Snoke requests an audience with Ada.

Ada meditated constantly, trying to mend Kylo Ren’s wounds. Physically, she had done just that, but there were some wounds - remorse, grief - she couldn’t heal.

For three days straight, she didn’t leave his side. She poured everything she had into making him whole again, physically and otherwise. But when he woke, he was still… fractured.

When at last Kylo Ren opened his eyes, she saw him as he used to be - conflicted, unsure. Pain had a way of re-opening old wounds thought healed long ago.

Hers was the first face he saw. Ada gave him a small smile. “Welcome back to the land of the living,” she said.

He swallowed thickly, wincing, and she handed him a cup of water. He drank it down in one. Ren moved the bedclothes aside and examined the wounds she had been healing.

“Impressive,” he muttered, voice low. 

“I don’t know how you managed to survive,” Ada said, “By all accounts, you shouldn’t have.”

“Spite is a great motivator,” he replied, wincing as he moved his legs off the side of the bed. 

She wanted to chuckle at that, but couldn’t. 

“How much do you remember?” she asked, trying to get a better sense of how to tell him that he failed in his mission, and that Snoke was waiting.

“They escaped, didn’t they?” he asked. She nodded. 

“There’s nothing that can be done, now,” Ada told him.

“Of course you would say that,” he snapped. She stared at him sternly. “They have it - the complete map,” Ren stated, his tone sharp and cutting.

“Yes,” she said. Ren sat up in the bed and started yanking the IV’s and tubes out of his skin. Ada didn’t try to stop him - there would be no stopping him now that he was in a mood. She sighed; he had been much more pleasant when he was unconscious. 

He used the comm on his bedside table, “Take the prisoner back to my quarters. Bring the choker.”

“You’re never putting that thing back on me again,” Ada said, a steely tone in her voice, “And you’re in no position to argue with me. If your men come within arm's reach of me with that fucking collar I will snap them in half; do you understand me?” 

He narrowed his eyes at her, looking for a moment like he was going to argue. “Forget the choker,” Ren muttered into the comm. 

“I had them bring you a change of clothes. They’re in the wardrobe,” she pointed. Ada crossed her arms, leaned against the wall and averted her gaze toward the door, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Ada,” he sighed, standing on the other side of the bed, “thank you.” He said it grudgingly, likely wishing her healing skills hadn’t been necessary, at all.

She nodded. “I need more time to help those wounds fully heal,” she said, “They’re going to be painful and you can’t put yourself in a situation where you could cause them more damage.”

She talked to him while he dressed himself, grimacing whenever he had to move his arm; pulling his shirt on was especially taxing.

Ada moved to him and helped him pull his arm through. She smoothed the bottom of the shirt over his stomach, which was still covered in bandages.

“But, you’re going to be okay,” she said looking up at his face. 

“You’re relieved,” he said, sounding a little surprised.

“Yes,” Ada whispered. She didn’t want to feel relief knowing that Kylo Ren still breathed, but… denying that feeling wouldn’t do her any good anyway.

An unreadable emotion flitted across his face. Ada recalled the memories and emotions she'd observed while she had been healing him. The conflict had been torturous for him, and the only way to stop it was to continue his path in the Dark side of the Force. Or so he had thought... but, Ada sensed Ren felt things weren't shaking out exactly as he had planned. 

The Stormtroopers had arrived to take her back to his quarters, snapping her out of her reverie. 

As she walked toward the 'troopers, she said, “Be careful with Snoke. He’s…” she trailed off, although she was sure Ren sensed Snoke’s displeasure. 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he said pointedly, grabbing her wrist as she walked through the doorway. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” she scoffed, taking her hand back, and walked away with her armed escort.

###

“How’s your wound?” Snoke asked.

“It’s nothing,” Ren replied.

“The mighty Kylo Ren…” Snoke drawled, “When I found you, I saw what all masters live to see; raw, untamed power. And beyond that, something truly special: the potential of your bloodline: a new Vader,” the misshapen monster leered.

“Now,” Snoke continued, “I fear I was mistaken.” Ren looked up from his kneeling position on the floor.

“I’ve given everything I have to you, to the Dark side” he said, sounding slightly astonished at the turn this conversation was taking.

Snoke demanded Ren remove his helmet. He did as he was bade. 

“Yes,” Snoke hissed, “there it is. You have too much of your father’s heart in you, young Solo.”

“I killed Han Solo,” Ren retorted, “When the moment came, I didn’t hesitate.”

“And look at you. The deed split your spirit to the bone.” Snoke growled, his voice growing louder, “You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber. You failed!” he bellowed.

Ren, in a rush of rage, stood and was struck down by the blast of lightning that shot from his Master’s fingertips.

“Skywalker lives,” Snoke snarled, “The seed of the Jedi order lives. And as long as it does, hope lives in the galaxy.” Ren stood once again. 

“I thought you would be the one to snuff it out,” the Supreme Leader said softly, returning to his throne. “Alas,” he continued, “you’re no Vader. You’re just a child in a mask.”

###

Ada was waiting when Kylo Ren returned. She sat in a chair, flipping through the pages of yet another tome - this time about the Sith; the rule of two. One master, one apprentice. A rule set forth because the Sith couldn’t stop killing one another. Ada rolled her eyes at the extremes people would go to in order to achieve even an illusion of power.

He wasn’t wearing his mask when he stomped into the room. She was afraid to ask where it was. His expression was foreboding; dark and stormy. He didn’t look at her as he stalked past and into the bedroom. Ren started disrobing and Ada could sense his discomfort. 

He was struggling getting his shirt over his head when Ada walked in. “Let me help,” she said.

“I’ve got it,” he barked. 

“No, you don’t,” Ada insisted.

She used the Force to push him down into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

“Shut up and just let me help you,” she told him, indignant. 

Ren let her pull his shirt off. Ada tossed it away. 

“Lie back,” she said. 

“I’m capable of undressing myself!” he shouted at her.

“When are you going to learn to accept help? When have I ever steered you wrong?” she demanded, raising her own voice.

“Every single thing I ever told you would come to pass has. And you’ve no one to blame but yourself; least of all, me. Now lie back on this fucking bed and let me take your pants off!” she shouted those last words, having had enough of his pissy attitude. 

He did as she asked and she yanked his pants down over his hips and, none too gently, pulled them off his legs. 

“I’m surprised you’re actually still here,” he told her, "I was sure I'd see you trying to steal my ship again or sneak off in Stormtrooper armor." 

“It wouldn't have been very smart of me to try something with Snoke as furious as he is and I have no doubt you have your entire ship on alert in the event I even put one toe out of line," Ada sounded bitter, even to her own ears, "Plus, I have to fulfill my end of the deal."

“What deal?” Ren narrowed his eyes at her, distrustingly.

She looked at him, her head cocked to the side, arms crossed. “When I’ve healed you to the best of my ability, I’m leaving this ship. You know that. You can let me leave the easy way or the hard way, but I think you know which option you prefer.”

Another flutter of something within him - sadness, fear? It was gone before Ada could get a better sense of it. 

“I’ll even teach you to heal yourself, once you’re mostly mended,” she offered; anything to get away from the First Order sooner. 

Ren stood and went to shower.

His conversation with Snoke had gone poorly; Ada had known it would but… he was crushed by something that happened in that room; his faith in his Supreme Leader shaken. Was it enough?

Ada waffled over her next move. She felt like she should strike while the iron was hot, while Ren was feeling even slightly vulnerable. On the other hand, pushing him could go very much awry, as she was already well-aware. Bracing herself, she walked into the bathroom, prepared to meet any one of his numerous moods. “Can I come in?” Ada asked.

“Yes,” he said, after a moment. Ada stripped and slid in behind him in the shower. 

“Show me,” he said, as she reached for the soap, “Show me how to heal myself.”

"Right now?" she asked quizzically. Ren nodded. She sensed that feeling in him again - tense, uncertain, doubt. A quiet apprehension, but there all the same. 

Foregoing the soap, she placed one hand on his ribs and another on his chest, over the bowcaster wound. “It works better if you can put yourself into a meditative state. It’s easier, at least for me, if there are other lifeforms around to draw energy from,” she said.

He gave her a suspicious look when she said that so she clarified, “I mean, like, plants or something - not people.” Ada shook her head and took a deep breath.

“You have to visualize transferring your lifeforce to the other being with the intention of repairing the damage, of generating new healthy cells… cleansing the body of harm…” she trailed off as she deepened her focus on his wounds. She felt the heat from his immune system, keeping infection at bay. It was a good thing she wanted to bolster, if she could.

Most of his wounds were well on their way to being mended, but the bowcaster had done real damage. It was taking more time than she thought to heal it. 

Ren put a hand over hers. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, at the deep scar that ran from his chest, up his neck, and over his brow. Ada tried to disregard the unease that rolled off him in waves, the frustration he felt at failing. But, underneath it there still existed a fierce resolve to finish what he started - what his grandfather started.

“He’s right about you,” she told him, her hand still trapped beneath his, “You’re not Vader… and it worries me. Vader found the Light again, in the end, but you…” she left her thought open-ended. 

Vader came back to the Light because of an attachment he didn’t know existed, and Ren had so few left who knew who he was before… and still cared about him now. 

She picked up the washcloth, lathered the soap and washed his chest, carefully patting his wounds as water cascaded over his shoulders. “It haunts you, doesn’t it? What you’ve done. You… regret it so deeply.” Ada knew such sorrow well - so much of her own heartbreak wrought by the man standing in front of her.

“Stop,” he whispered harshly. 

“You can’t let yourself feel it because it would rip you apart. And here you thought killing him would give you clarity." She pitied him, in that moment. Ren was growing angry - with himself, with his mentor, with every single person who had ever failed him. He couldn't bear being deemed a disappointment, a failure, yet again.

Ada hugged him. “I’m sorry he’s doing this to you,” she whispered. 

“I did this to myself,” Ren said, pulling away after a moment. Ada nodded; that much was certainly true. There wasn’t a single soul in the galaxy who could heal Kylo Ren completely; no act of redemption could absolve him of his misdeeds. Ada wondered if she'd ever feel at peace again.

After their shower, they toweled off and prepared for sleep. Ada was beat; she had given everything she had to him, to save him. To make him well. So he could continue terrorizing the galaxy, she thought bitterly. She didn’t understand her motives sometimes, not when it came to Kylo Ren. 

But, she told herself foolishly, those little moments when she saw beneath his hard exterior… she knew he wasn’t lost. 

Luke’s voice came back to her from a conversation long ago: _“He’s not lost,”_ Luke had told her, _"That’s what worries me.”_

If he felt ambivalence, he quashed it with his implicit trust in the Dark side, his fear of the Sith and a fabricated obligation to their training. She sighed; this felt like a problem that tomorrow could deal with. 

“Where do you want me to sleep?” she asked Ren as she padded into the bedroom. 

“Where else would I have you sleep but my bed?” He asked.

She shrugged, “I just wanted to give you the option of putting me somewhere else.”

Ada slipped between the sheets beside him and turned off the lights. Ren was focusing on healing himself, one of his hands draped over the bowcaster wound, before he drifted off. Her hand found his; she laced her fingers through his and thought about the Sith and their rule of two before she, too, fell asleep.

###

 _I’m dreaming, I know I am_ , Ada told herself as she stared at the door at the end of the hallway. She was on the Finalizer, like in her usual nightmare. If she turned to the left, she’d find the room with the skulls, the cloaked monster, the mask.

Water lapped at her ankles, the same as always. She’d had this dream so many times, but never once had she noticed the door at the end of the long hallway; it was like it had just appeared in her mind. 

Was the hallway growing longer? It seemed like the door was getting farther away.

The light above her flickered and died. Suddenly, she knew she shouldn’t stand in the dark. If she stayed in the dark too long she would be lost.

Ada stepped forward, back into the light. It flickered. 

_It’s calling me onward…_ What was it? Curiosity wasn’t the word to describe how she felt in that moment. Curiosity implied a choice - she felt compelled to reach that door. 

Ada took another step and glided forward, like she was sliding on ice. The lights overhead flickered and died, leaving her no other way out. As the lights extinguished in the hallway, the glow beyond the door grew brighter. It had been faint, at first, but now it was radiant, its rays streaking through the dimly-lit hallway. 

She was right in front of it now, not completely remembering how she got there. It looked like any other door on the ship - there was nothing special about it. Nothing. Except -

she could _hear them_. She could hear the whispers just behind the metal. She turned an ear toward it and leaned forward slightly. She was too afraid to touch the door, fearing something awful would happen if she did. 

The voices were familiar to her, but yet, she couldn’t recognize them. The Force signature was unlike anything she’d ever experienced - so pure. But there was death and destruction beyond this door too. Carefully balanced, a peaceful partnership. 

“I have to see it,” she said to herself. “What is this place?”

Ada hesitated as she lifted her hands and placed them against the door. It didn’t feel like metal; it felt like - 

a veil. The fabric airy against her skin, like a soft breath. The light felt - healing, so beautiful. And the dark, creeping near the edges felt - not dangerous, just present. Ada observed the landscape around her. It was like she was watching life and death exist at the same time; the plants would grow rapidly, wilt, and die. Then regrow, little bright green leaves poking out of the soil. It happened over and over again, like a time-lapse. The clouds rolled across the sky, diminishing the bright light momentarily; then the storm passed as quickly as it came. 

Everything felt over-saturated, too bright and too dark all at once. The Force flowed through the entire place, wherever this was, Light and Dark working together, not against one another. It was stunningly graceful, so intricate and yet so simple; a perfect unison.

 _There’s no sun, no light source_ , Ada noticed. _Then where is the light coming from?_ She bent down to touch a flower that had re-bloomed for the hundredth time. The bud fell into her hand when she touched it, still growing and dying, as though enchanted. She stared at it, watching it live and die, enthralled when -

something woke her. She blinked her eyes sleepily, not understanding where she was for a moment. 

Back on the Finalizer. Ren’s commlink was ringing like mad. She elbowed him in the ribs, forgetting momentarily that he had been injured. He grunted loudly and rolled over to check the comms. 

The dream she’d been having of the world between worlds faded from her memory quickly. All she could remember was a bright light… and then, nothing. She felt something in her hand; Ada looked down, squinting at what she held. A flower blossom, dried and brown. Dead. She stared at it in her palm, tracing its delicate petals, knowing she should understand, but for the moment, its meaning was lost on her.

###

“You’re going to do something stupid, aren’t you?” she asked him as he dressed a mere few hours after they had fallen asleep. His commlink hadn’t stopped ringing as their ship closed in on the Resistance fleet. His presence was required. 

“It’s a bad idea,” Ada said. 

“I have to go,” he mumbled as he made his way out of the room.

“She’s on that ship!” Ada shouted, following him. “Your mother is on that ship.”

Ada had felt Leia when they drew near; her signature was unmistakable. Ren paused in his steps and then left without another word.

Ada paced around the room. She wanted out of here. The Resistance was so close, she could sense them beyond these walls. The First Order had followed them through hyperspace. Krindi had mentioned that Arkanians had been developing such technology - she'd seen the specs herself before they deserted Isobe - but… the First Order must have fast-tracked it, somehow.

It was now or never. Sneak away and use the dogfights for cover and try to make it to D’Qar, the main Resistance base.

“Now or never,” she said aloud. Ada touched the rancor claw around her neck and looked back to the nightstand where her saber hilt lay. Perhaps, Kylo Ren could benefit from keeping it more than she would now. She put a hand in her pocket and felt for the flower she’d wrapped in tissue paper. The paper crinkled beneath her touch and she let out a long breath, not realizing she had been holding it. 

Ada smashed the button to activate the mail door and was surprised when it opened; Ren hadn’t locked it. 

Ada had been given a black jumpsuit rather than Kylo Ren’s ill-fitting clothes, which made moving quickly through the corridors somewhat easier. Given the battling raging beyond the ship’s walls, it was little wonder no one really seemed to notice her. 

She padded through the hangar, barefoot, as usual. 

“You! Prisoner!” a First Order Officer yelled in her direction. She stopped, turning to face her, cracking her neck as she did so. 

“Yes?” Ada said sweetly. 

“What are you doing out here?” the Officer barked, unclipping her blaster from her belt. 

“I believe I’m stealing a ship,” Ada retorted.

“I don’t believe you are,” a voice sounded from above. 

Hux.

“The Supreme Leader has requested your presence,” he chided as an armed contingent of Stormtroopers aimed their blaster rifles at her. She raised her eyebrows and put her hands in the air. She considered herself an adept Force-user, but even she would be hard-pressed to deflect an entire squadron's worth of blasterfire.

"Your Supreme Leader is _aware_ that there's a massive battle going on right now, correct? Perhaps we should reschedule our meeting to a more convenient time?" Ada quipped, "Perhaps when the First Order surrenders and he's ready to negotiate peace."

Hux's smile looked more like a leer as he raised two fingers imperceptibly; a group of Stormtroopers marched toward her, securing her wrists in front of her in a pair of extremely solid cuffs.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke becomes impatient with Ren's soft spots. Ada makes a narrow escape.

Hux marched her down a hallway with approximately thirty blaster rifles aimed at her back. 

“What does he want with me?” she asked him.

“How should I know? I don’t ask such questions of our Supreme Leader,” Hux huffed indignantly.

“What were you doing breaking into Ren’s quarters? What were you looking for?” Ada asked pointedly.

Hux rubbed the back of his head, subconsciously remembering being assaulted in the gloom of Ren's quarters. Ada felt her way through his mind, sifting through numerous irrelevant thoughts.

He had been looking for Ada. In the dark she hadn't seen the needle he held in front of him, poised, ready to jab her with it. Ada had opened her mouth to ask him what the hell he had been thinking of doing with her when Hux interrupted her.

“Enough!” he hissed as they approached a large, intimidating-looking door. Briefly, the door from her dream flashed through her memory.

Hux and the Stormtroopers led her to the cavernous room she had only ever seen in her worst nightmares.

Ada tried to stand tall as she gazed up at the towering menace before her. 

“Ah, yes, Ada Zahn,” Snoke crooned. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Likewise,” she retorted. Snoke gave her a gravelly chuckle. 

Snoke pressed his fingertips together. “It’s taken me years just to get you in this room,” he said softly. The hair on the back of Ada’s neck stood on end and she repressed a shiver. She waited.

“You… could’ve been something great, you know. But, ah, that sentimental streak runs through you…” Snoke lost himself in a bit of a reverie. “Tell me,” he said, bringing himself back to the present, “what would you do, Ada, to save your friends, your family from harm?”

“I’m not doing this with you,” she replied, refusing to break eye contact, even though she had to crane her neck back to see his eyes.

“Oh, come now, humor me,” he growled. “Or… would it be easier for you if I just had every last person you love killed? Your friend, Krindi Iro; the Resistance, obviously… and Ben Solo.” Ada clenched her jaw and Snoke continued.

“Yes, I think that path to power would be so much easier. Remove those last bastions of hope from your life and… you’ll be mine; you'll belong to the Dark side... I can see it clearly now. Young Solo has disappointed me gravely, as of late. He’s too - unpredictable in his reactions.”

Ada swallowed her repulsion.

“But, you,” he continued, “You have mastered yourself quite admirably. Passionate, but disciplined. Oh, you’d be a powerful, formidable leader. Of course, if you’d rather Kylo Ren live, we could find a way to compromise; I’m not unreasonable. Perhaps, if you felt unprepared to lead, you could step into the role as second in command.”

“What?” she spat, finally cracking under Snoke's gaze. 

“While Lord Ren’s decision-making skills leave much to be desired, he has seemed more focused while he’s been at the pleasure of your company… I can only imagine why,” Snoke leered. Ada pulled a disgusted face. Of course Snoke picked through Ren’s recollections and of course he had seen -

“Mmm, yes,” Snoke continued, “Young Kylo Ren could use a bit of grounding, wouldn’t you say? The two of you have a very sound working relationship, a desirable balance between passion and drive for something greater.”

“I’m not doing that,” Ada said hotly. “I refuse to help you succeed.”

“Oh, but my dear, you already have. I think Ren would be willing to take you on as his-”

“I said I’m not doing it!” Ada shouted, “He isn’t yours to give away.”

Snoke laughed heartily at that. “Is that funny to you?” Ada snarled, “You’re so willing to discard him like trash - does he know that?”

Snoke hadn’t liked her tone. He raised his frail-looking hand and struck her with lightning that shot from his fingers. Pain wracked Ada’s body and she was knocked off her feet.

“Ren cherishes my approval,” Snoke retorted, still leering at her, “He would do anything to please me for the promise of power.”

“You underestimate him,” Ada panted from her position on the floor.

“Do I?” Snoke sneered. 

“I won’t do it,” Ada whispered furiously. But she knew Snoke heard her because he delivered another crippling streak of electricity for Ada’s insolence. Her body twisted around itself, muscles spasming. The pain was so intense that no sound escaped when she screamed. She’d been here before, somehow...

“Ren has taken far too long making a decision about you; he has been too patient, too weak to make a choice," he growled the last word, " _This_ is your path, Ada. Accept it or accept death!” Snoke roared, unleashing another volley of lightning. 

It was agony. Her nerves were aflame, her skin felt singed, everything hurt. She had curled herself into a ball in a small effort to protect herself. 

“Ren doesn’t need you,” she rasped when Snoke relented, pushing herself onto her hands, “and he doesn’t need me to become greater.”

“You’re wrong,” Snoke said quietly. He was considering her - deciding whether he was going to kill her or…

“I think it is you who underestimates him, Zahn. You underestimate his reliance on you, as it has always been,” Snoke said, voice barely above a whisper.

Then, his demeanor changed. “It’s unfortunate that you’ve chosen this path, Ada,” he drawled. 

Snoke turned his attention to the figures that lined the room - ones Ada hadn’t noticed were there. “Dispose of her,” Snoke said before his hologram vanished.

Six of them. Who were these… were they men? Ada pushed herself up from the ground, unarmed except in the Force. 

They stalked closer so she could see their masks. Knights. These were the Knights of Ren. 

She’d heard much about them - mostly their viciousness and penchant for taking trophies from those they defeated in battle. Ada swallowed as they neared, drawing their weapons. _No lightsabers_ , she noticed, _but they are Force-sensitive._

She had no time to heal herself from Snoke’s attacks - she’d have to figure out a way to escape. _Live or die_ , she told herself. She had pulled herself to her feet as her stalkers approached, grimacing as her burned skin pulled tight with movement. 

One of the Knights darted forward and she reached a hand up and wrenched the vent covering from the wall. It crashed into the Knight just as he swung a mighty ax at her head. She rolled to the side and jumped to avoid another’s scythe that swung at her legs. 

Ada force jumped across the room. Taking a centering breath, she slammed her foot down on the floor, releasing a massive Force push that knocked them over. She ran toward them, preparing to jump for the vent and make a quick escape when one of them slammed into her with a Force push, sending her flying through the air and smacking into the stone pedestal that Snoke’s hologram had appeared on.

The air had been knocked from her lungs and it took her a second to recover, enough time for the Knight to close the distance between them.

He strode over and knelt down, grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling her face up to meet his. 

“Do you remember me?” he growled. She winced as his fist tightened in her hair. 

“No!” she cried.

The Knight removed his mask with one hand. 

“Irlon?” she whispered. 

“So you do remember me after all,” he said menacingly. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time, Ada.”

He flung her across the room. “It’s Ap’lek now,” he said as he slammed the helmet back on his head and strode toward her. “Leave her,” he screamed at the other Knights who had started to move forward, “She’s mine.”

Once more, Ada dragged herself onto her feet to face her opponent. She knew the odds weren’t in her favor. Even if she defeated Irlon - Ap’lek - she’d still have to take down the other five.

“I never got to pay you back for what you did to me that day,” he growled, menacingly.

“And what was that? Putting you in your place? You’re pathetic,” she snarled, hoping she sounded more threatening than she felt.

Ap’lek charged her again, swinging his ax furiously, trying to bury it in her skull. She ducked it, sliding on her knees and popping back up behind him. He lurched around, ax in his hand as he stomped toward her. 

Ada anticipated his swing and dipped low, closing the distance between them before punching him in the gut. She felt the air rush out of his lungs as he doubled over. Using every ounce of strength she had left, she moved behind him and pulled the handle of the ax against his throat. One of his hands reached back and fumbled at her face, searching for vulnerable spots, like her eyes. Ada bit down on his hand, hard.

Ap’lek yelled and threw an elbow into her ribs. She stumbled back, unprepared when his fist flew into her face. Ada saw stars and tasted blood in her mouth; one of her teeth felt a little loose. She’d managed to keep herself from falling to the floor but she knew she couldn’t keep this up much longer.

“Come on, pussycat,” he purred at her, “Show me your pretty claws.” He’d always been a fan of feints and quick dashes; Ada noticed that his fighting style hadn’t changed much. Move around a lot and confuse the enemy so they tire out, then strike.

Ap’lek feinted left but struck right - Ada had been expecting it. She held his ax in two hands and, bending over, pulled Ap’lek over her back and slammed him on the floor, twisting the ax out of his hands in the process. 

It was heavy, but she hefted it in both hands and raised it over her head to kill him once and for all.

“Enough of this,” another one of the Knights said behind her, right before he shot her in the back with his pistol. The shot had gone through her shoulder and hurt like hell, piercing skin and bone, and cauterizing the wound as it exited her flesh. The ax slipped from her hands and she fell to her knees. Her body couldn’t take this kind of damage any longer. 

Ada watched Ap’lek rise from the ground and the last thing she remembered seeing were his boots, right before he kicked her in the face and she lost consciousness.

###

 _I have to be dead now, right?_ But she’d been dead before and this was different. She could feel the radiating pain from the blaster wound, not to mention the injuries she sustained from Snoke. It would be a cruel thing, having to live with your pain even in death. 

She needed to open her eyes and figure out where she was. It was hot and it smelled… _like burnt hair._

Ada’s eyes snapped open. She was lying in a pile of dead bodies. Dead soldiers - Resistance or otherwise - and a robotic arm was tossing the bodies on a conveyor belt that dumped them into an incinerator. 

Of course they’d have a crematorium on board a ship; this was the First Order, after all. She shoved a dead Stormtrooper off of her and climbed over cold, hard limbs and faces, trying to get out of the pile.

The robot arm snagged her leg and dropped her onto the conveyor belt, which she rolled off of quickly, crawling away from the yawning mouth of the incinerator, its flames reflected in her wide eyes as she realized she had, once again, narrowly escaped death. 

Ada was in a part of the ship she had never seen - few living people likely had. She brought up her HUD and scanned for an exit. There wasn’t one. It was usually a one way trip for the people who ended up down here. 

There was a chute above the pile of bodies. _They just throw them down here like garbage_ , she thought to herself. She wondered if she had enough strength left to climb up the chute and escape the Finalizer.

“You don’t have a choice, Ada,” she said to herself. Swallowing her disgust, she started climbing up the small mountain of bodies that had accumulated beneath the chute and hauled herself into it. Thankfully, it wasn’t a vertical climb, but still considerably steep.

Placing her feet against one side and bracing her back against the other, she started pushing herself upward. She hoped she wouldn’t have to contend with a body falling on her from above.

She gritted her teeth and begged her muscles to push just a little farther. She could see light and knew she was getting closer. 

Finally, she managed to slip her fingers underneath the bottom of the door to the chute; it rolled upward and she tumbled out onto the floor, lying there a minute catching her breath.

She hated this ship.

She pulled up her HUD while she was on the floor. “Where am I?” she muttered. 

Sanitation bay. Ada sighed. The sanitation bay was miles from the hangar. It would take her hours to make it to the hangar and there was no way she could get there undetected in her current condition. 

_Wait_ \- Ada noticed a bay of escape pods nearby. It might be possible to leave under the cover of the massive battle she assumed was still raging outside. She could guide her pod down to D’Qar and find the Resistance base.

It just might work.

Ada had fired all the escape pods in her sector as decoys; in the event that someone saw her leave, it could buy her a little extra time. As it became more apparent that no one seemed alarmed at her departure, she tried to use the Force to steer the battle clear of her as she descended toward the surface of D’Qar. Having never used the Force in such a way, she was unsure of its effectiveness, but she wasn’t torpedoed and so she considered it a win in her book.

Her pod piloted itself down to the surface, landing near the base. Ada kicked the door off and crawled out through the escape hatch. 

She stood, looking around.

Gone. Everyone was gone and the base was abandoned.

She didn’t understand - what had happened? If the base was abandoned, did that mean that… those ships - that was the last of the Resistance?

“No…” Ada whispered. What had happened while she was sequestered away with Ren? She had lost all sense of time, of reality.

The First Order must have attacked the base after the fall of Starkiller and tracked the fleet through hyperspace… that was the only explanation for how the First Order had found the Resistance fleet so quickly. They were wearing the last of the ships down, biding their time. 

Ada screamed as she picked up the nearest object and threw it as hard as she could. The piece of scrap sailed off into the trees beyond the clearing. 

Kylo Ren would return to the ship at some point and discover her gone. She wondered if Snoke or any of the Knights would tell him the truth… and she wondered if he’d care at all. 

When he found out, she needed to be far away from here. She ran into a hangar and searched for something useful. She found enough spare clothes lying around for an actual outfit, along with some boots, at long last. She also found a couple of portable bacta tanks, bandages, and wound care supplies; she needed to get this blaster wound taken care of.

Ada grabbed an extra pack she found lying around and stuffed it with supplies. There wasn’t much in the way of food, but she’d hoped she could hunt something down.

Ada set out into the jungle. She needed to contact some old friends.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada meets up with her long-lost friends and Ren just can't seem to leave her the fuck alone. Ada and Krindi devise a plan to help the Resistance.

Ada built a small fire out bits and pieces of dry bark - everything else was too damp. She’d tried to ping two friends she hadn’t talked to in so, so long. 

Big Daddy and Chalice were nowhere to be found. 

“Come on, guys,” Ada grumbled. She was worried; she should have been able to at least find their location on her HUD.

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. There was no going back, and without her squad, there was no going forward either. At least not for the moment. 

There had been a busted A-wing back in the hangar… she supposed she could repair it, if needed. 

Ada stretched out on the ground. It was squishy with old leaves and moss… not too uncomfortable, actually. She had partially healed herself earlier, closing the wound up slightly and mending herself from being electrocuted by Snoke. There were ugly purple welts all over her skin where the lightning had ravaged her.

Now, she meditated on keeping herself closed off from the Force, especially during sleep. Sleep was when she was at her most vulnerable. She hoped the morning would bring better news.

At some point during the night, something woke her. A light in the sky, the sound of engines. Fearing it was Ren, she scrambled to her feet and took off into the dense jungle. She couldn’t move very fast given the sheer volume of vegetation, so she sank down and hid herself as best she could.

The ship landed nearby and Ada waited for signs of life. The trees were swaying from side to side as something large moved through them. 

“Ada?” someone called out.

_Krindi._

“Krindi?” Ada ran back toward the ship, thrashing through the bushes and crashing into her campsite.

Krindi had a blaster pistol trained on her and a very bright light shone in her eyes.

“Krindi?” Ada asked again, squinting against the glare.

“Ada? Oh my goodness!” Krindi stowed her weapon and hugged her friend. Ada collapsed into her - this couldn’t actually be happening. 

Tears fell down Ada’s face as she asked, “Are you real?”

Krindi laughed through tears of her own. “Yes, yes I’m real. And so are you.”

Ada pulled her away to arms length so she could look at her face. “I can’t believe this,” Ada said. “I was so worried when I couldn’t get you on the HUD.”

“I had us cloaked,” Krindi said, “but as soon as we received your signal we came straight for you.”

_We?_

Big Daddy clomped his way over to her, opening his cockpit to reveal the Chalice.

“Hi, guys,” Ada said, wiping a fresh wave of tears away from her face. 

“Navigator,” Chalice said, “we are happy to see you again. And in one piece.”

“I am relieved,” Big Daddy rumbled. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” she cried. Krindi smiled behind her. Ada turned to her, still wiping her eyes.

“We should go,” she told Krindi, “I don’t want to give Ren any more time to find me.”

“You _escaped_ from _him_?” Krindi asked, incredulous. 

“It’s a bit of a long story; I’ll tell you on the shuttle.”

The four of them gathered into the shuttle once more, Krindi and Chalice piloting the craft. Ada told Krindi about her escape and backtracked to when Krindi had been captured by the First Order.

“Why did you tell them I knew where Skywalker was? Not that I’m angry - I would’ve told them whatever they wanted to hear, but…”

“I panicked, Ada. I’m sorry. They wanted me to give them something and I had to keep myself valuable. I never, in a million years, thought you would be coming to my rescue.”

“And when you said ‘it lives within you’ right before I shoved you in the escape pod?” Ada queried. 

“The plans. The schematics for all the Arkanian tech. I stored it in your memory before we blew everything up. I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to have information that they could pry from you later…”

“He could have pried it from you just as easily though,” Ada said. 

Krindi shook her head. “I was never going to make it long enough to meet Ren. They didn’t think I had anything worth that level of interrogation. So I gave them the first thing that came to mind; about tracking ships through hyperspace, just to keep them happy.”

Ada’s head snapped around. “They figured it out; how to track through hyperspace,” she said quietly.

“What?” Krindi said, astonished. “That’s - that’s not possible. That tech was nowhere near complete. They couldn’t have developed it that quickly without… without help.” she finished.

“You think they had help from the Arkanians,” Ada concluded. 

Krindi sighed. “It’s possible,” she said miserably. 

Ada put a hand on her friend’s shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

###

They touched down in the Gallo Mountains of Naboo. They needed to rest and keep a low profile, and Ada needed to try to reach the Resistance. She had to figure out what their plan was. She scanned for a Resistance signal, but it was weak and she couldn’t get through.

“Damn it,” she cursed at the console and tossed her headset aside.

One ship. That’s all the Resistance had left to fight the entire First Order. Even after the decided victory of blowing up their massive superweapon, it still wasn’t enough.

Ada needed a break. She walked to a nearby stream and stripped off the old clothes she’d been wearing for the past couple days and dipped her feet in the cool water. 

She’d always loved Naboo, from the pictures she had seen of it, anyway. It always looked so idyllic to her. 

Ada had been desperate for communication in the last day or so and had pressed outward with the Force to try to reach Leia, but to no avail. If General Organa was out of the fight… Ada crouched down and splashed water on her face and scrubbed with her hands. 

When she opened her eyes again, he was standing in front of her.

She screamed and fell back onto the bank.

“You seem surprised to see me,” Ren said.

“H-how?” she panted, “How are you here?” She’d detected no ships, nothing.

“I’m trying something new,” he said.

“Go try it with someone else then! I’m done,” Ada fired back.

Ren smiled, “I have. It’s what gave me the idea.”

“Leave me alone. You have to leave me alone. I’ve done all I can for you - I’ve given you everything I have,” she said. “Are you… real?” she asked. Ada was really starting to question her reality far more frequently than she felt comfortable. 

“Touch me,” he said, holding out a hand. He seemed… oddly chipper. Something had shifted in his favor.

She stared at his hand and thought about how he always seemed to catch her at the worst times. Ada stood on the riverbank and wiped the dirt off her asscheeks. 

She knew it was possible to use the Force and be in someone’s presence while your body was elsewhere. She’d done it herself and had touched other people. And they had felt her, but only with the help of her Dathomir magick.

Ada took a step toward him. Her curiosity always got the better of her. Their fingertips touched. He was there. He was right there, she would’ve sworn it.

“What’s happening?” she asked. “Something’s changed… Rey…?” Her eyes flicked up to his. “She’s seen you, and you her. But how? Is this the same connection?” 

“I don’t have control over it, when it happens with her,” he said.

“So… someone is doing it for you,” she said.

“It’s not you?” Ren asked. 

“Why would I connect the two -?” something clicked. There was a reason to bring the two of them together… Snoke couldn’t get Ada to change allegiances. But maybe Rey…

Ren understood it, too. Ada smirked. 

“So that’s what this is. You’re going to try to turn her. Snoke and your Knights of Ren couldn’t manage it with me, so they’re moving on to their next victim, is that it?” she snarled.

To most people, it wouldn’t have looked like his expression changed at all, but Ada saw a glimmer of confusion and concern behind his eyes.

“Ah,” Ada said, “so he hasn’t told you.” Ren’s eyes left hers and he licked his lips. He didn’t know any of it.

She laughed bitterly. “No, of course he wouldn’t tell you the truth. Why would he?” She sighed and continued. “He wanted me to take your place or else… be your second in command,” Ada said, not knowing a better way to put it. “And then he sicced your Knights on me when I refused. Irlon and I had a nice chat until one of his buddies shot me in the back and tossed me away, thinking I was dead,” she finished, pointing to the healing bruises on her face.

“His offer didn’t appeal to you?” Ren asked.

Ada couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. Snoke had threatened to kill Kylo Ren and have her replace him and yet, Ren questioned her motives?

“You would rather let that monster use you, ruin you, than admit you’re wrong about him? About the First Order?” she said incredulously.

“He threatened to kill me, offered you a way to save me and be one of the most powerful people in the galaxy, and you weren’t interested in taking him up on his offer?” Ren questioned.

“I see nothing worth sacrificing myself for,” Ada seethed. Ren smirked.

“You already have sacrificed yourself, Ada. Whether you want to admit it or not. And now, you’re offering up Rey in your stead.”

“Don’t - you - fucking - dare blame this on me.”

“I’m not blaming you. You just refuse to take responsibility for your part,” Ren said, emotionlessly.

She leapt at him and was still slightly surprised when she slammed into his solid mass. “You fucking bastard!” she screamed, pummeling him with her fists. “You evil, sadistic -” He caught her wrists in his hands. 

“Snoke doesn’t care about you,” she said, beseechingly. “He doesn’t care who it is to bring him to power. Why are you so beholden to him? Is this really what you want? Why - why is destruction all that makes you feel whole?” 

Ren looked at her, vulnerability in his eyes. “She could still turn to the Dark side,” he said. 

“And then what? What happens then?”

“I rule the galaxy with her at my side,” he said.

Ada laughed and shook her head. Then she laughed some more. 

“Rey will never turn,” she said at last. “She’ll never give in to you or Snoke.”

“You sound so sure. But I’ve seen who her parents are,” Ren said, letting her go. 

“Right, and who showed you that little bit of information? Snoke? Check your sources, Kylo. Someone is leading you to Rey. I can only guess who that might be and I don’t trust his motives.”

“I’ve seen her path - she chooses to turn to the Dark side,” Ren said.

“Rey is who she chooses to be. Just like the rest of us.”

“Some have better choices than others,” he retorted. Ada strode back across the stream and picked up her clothes.

“Leave me alone,” she said. “Go collect your new bride and let me know where to send your wedding gift. I want nothing to do with you.” It wasn’t true. It killed her, little by little, to let him go. But she had to - she had to.

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” he said. 

_Nope, nope, nope_ , she said to herself. _Don’t listen; keep walking._

“Ada.” Something in his voice dragged her back, against her own will. 

“I’m going to kill him. Snoke,” Ren said. “But… I need you. I need your strength, your guidance.” 

“You can’t keep coming back to me, begging for my guidance and strength, and call Snoke ‘master’. Perhaps that title belongs to me,” she told him.

She watched him swallow. “Perhaps it does,” he said, his voice strained. 

Ada hated him; hated him for using her, for turning her feelings against herself.

And then what? What came after Snoke? Would a Ren dynasty be better? Her hope for a democratically elected leadership was looking more and more bleak. 

And… there was something else that nagged at her… that thing she saw in her vision beneath the cloak… it hadn’t been Snoke. It was more wretched and more powerful. And it was still out there, waiting.

“You’re never going to stop, are you?” she asked, “You will never be satisfied; no amount of power, of love, of reverence, of control will ever be enough for you.”

“Ada,” he said, “I don’t want to do this without you.” She turned to face him, her jaw set. 

“You’re going to have to,” she told him. “I’m not helping you.”

“My Knights could find you, easily,” he told her.

“Are you threatening me? For the record, Kylo, I survived multiple assaults by your Supreme Leader, an attack by your Knights, getting shot, nearly being burnt alive in a very large incinerator, and I navigated a battle in an escape pod. And you have the fucking gall to threaten me?” Ada demanded, her eyes narrowed as she stalked toward him. _You should have just kept walking, idiot_ , she berated herself.

“Would it really be so bad? Ruling at my side? You could do a lot of good for the galaxy; you’re diplomatic, thoughtful, resolute. And I could give you the life you really want, Ada,” he said softly as he walked around her, “the power to do good for the galaxy.”

She allowed herself a moment of weakness and imagined what her life could possibly look like if she agreed. It was entirely possible she might be able to do more good from a position of power… and she’d have him, wouldn’t she? They would be together, at last. The possibilities were so tempting. 

_At what cost?_ She thought about all the people she loved who had died because of this chasm between Light and Dark. All the men who would never know their families because of the First Order, relationships shattered, love lost… 

“You don’t understand the first thing about the life I want,” she told him. “Send your Knights after me and see what happens. I will never be your prisoner ever again,” she said definitively. 

“Go,” Ada told him, “Fulfill your destiny, Supreme Leader Ren.” 

###

Ada made her way back to camp. Kylo Ren would offer Rey a way out. A last ditch effort to try to save the empire that created him.

 _She can’t take it_ , Ada thought. _She won’t. She’s stronger and smarter than that._

And the Resistance… only a handful of fighters left in their fleet. But there had to be more Resistance sympathizers on other systems, surely.

“It looks like the last of the fleet is heading to Crait,” Krindi said, “Should we rendezvous with them there?”

Ada considered it. “It’s not a fight, but a desperate attempt for survival,” Ada said to no one in particular. “And Rey will be there… she’s coming back. And she’s bringing Skywalker with her.” The Force illuminated the future for her briefly, and she sensed Luke Skywalker for the first time in years. It was faint, but he was there. She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Is… is that a good thing?” Krindi asked. She hadn’t a clue who this Rey person was. 

“Yes,” Ada said, turning back to her, “it’s very good. If Skywalker is there, then they at least have a chance to escape and fight another day. We have to spread the word and rally as many as we can to answer the call to arms, when the time comes.”

Krindi nodded, “Where to?” she asked.

“Corellia first, then Onderon,” Ada replied. She remembered her promise to pay a visit to Gato Rexa’s family.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krindi and Ada find trouble on Corellia.

Corellia was a planet of industry, having been one of the largest ship manufacturers for the Empire at one point in time. The capitol city of Coronet was teeming with activity; lights and sounds surrounded her, people bustling through the streets always in a hurry to get somewhere. Ada hadn’t seen anything like it since Coruscant long ago, and even Coruscant didn’t have the kind of energy Corellia overflowed with.

Ada and Krindi started some recon on people and places that were friendly toward the Resistance, or at the very least, didn’t care much for the First Order. They mostly met with people in bars, pubs, and sketchy nightclubs - meeting in the daytime was too much of a risk for some of the plans they’d discuss. 

“You’re telling me,” Det Ildaah slurred, a little too close to Ada’s face, “that Kylo Ren is gonna become the Supreme Leader?” He swayed a little in his seat.

“Mark my words, Det,” she said as she threw back another shot, “Snoke will be dead by the end of the week. Ren isn’t afraid of dictating things from a stage. He’ll have the galaxy overrun in a matter of months.”

“Kriff…” Det mumbled. 

“I know Corellia is on the verge of open rebellion against the First Order. And I know you know a few people who are key decision-makers in situations like these. I’d appreciate it if you could share the intel, because when shit hits the fan, it’s gonna hit hard and fast,” Ada confided in him. 

Det nodded, “I’ll see what I can do, but without some kind of supporting evi- ev-,” he hiccuped, “without proof, I don’t think I’ll get very far.”

Ada pointed a finger at him, “When Kylo Ren is crowned Supreme Leader, that should be proof enough. I wouldn’t recommend waiting though,” she said, sliding herself off the stool. She clapped him on the shoulder and made her way out the door and into the night.

Ada had found Gato Rexa’s family, and offered her condolences after she told them of his death. She told them about his memories and how he had kept pictures of his family in his breastpocket. 

“He must have been strong,” Ada told his sister, Bema, “and clever, hiding contraband like that from the First Order.”

“Gato was so smart,” Bema said through her tears, “Clever and witty. The universe is a lonelier place without him.”

They chatted for quite some time and Bema held no ill feelings toward her for killing Gato. Ada explained that he was the reason she was able to sneak on board and rescue Krindi. 

Bema and Krindi struck up an immediate camaraderie - Bema herself worked in robotics and was fascinated with Krindi’s stories of Arkanian tech. By the time their visit came to an end, it was late and Bema offered them a place to stay.

Ada walked back toward Bema’s place after leaving her meeting with Det. She’d hoped he would inform his connections of the changing tide. Ren’s ascension would only solidify their fears that the First Order was well on its way to a new Empire.

All this shadow-work was starting to take its toll on her. Ada returned to Bema’s and saw that she and Krindi had left dinner out for her. She warmed it and devoured the meal. She’d been drinking for roughly four hours straight and needed something to fill her stomach, though at this point, she’d developed a pretty strong tolerance.

As she went to bed, she made sure to complete her nightly meditations of closing herself off from the Force. Ada didn’t like being so disconnected; it left her feeling vulnerable. But she didn’t want to risk Ren being able to find her again. Or one of his loathsome Knights.

She’d been having strange dreams again, though. Something kept creeping through the mental security she’d put into place every night. 

It was the room again, the one with all the skulls and the grotesque cloaked figure. _Who are you?_ She wanted so badly to know, but she was terrified all the same. And she knew she shouldn’t invite this kind of energy to have any more power over her than it already did. 

But every time she had that dream, it would turn to her and beckon her inside. _Promises of the impossible, of things she hadn’t known she wanted until it showed her. A bright future for her and her family… built on a pile of ashes._

Every morning Ada would sit bolt upright, breathing as though she’d just run a mile. And her blaster wound, which was mostly healed now, would ache.

This morning, Ada rubbed her eyes and slouched out of bed. She very rarely got hangovers since she could rid herself of poison using her Dathomir magick. She was increasingly grateful for the gifts the Witches had bestowed on her - even though they drove a tough bargain. 

In a few hours, she’d have to get ready for another night of shadow-work, as she and Krindi had taken to calling it. Tonight would be a little different, though. They were meeting their mark at an upscale club in downtown called _Smolder_. Ada thought it sounded ridiculous, but apparently it was pretty swanky. Krindi and Ada borrowed dresses from Bema that were revealing but classy. 

Ada fixed her hair into a sleek, high ponytail and layered on some of Bema’s makeup. She’d only ever worn makeup a few times in her life, so the girls helped her apply it. She’d had her eyes closed as Bema attached a pair of false eyelashes.

When she opened her eyes, she could hardly believe the person reflected in the mirror was her. The makeup itself wasn’t heavy; it just accentuated her features in astonishing ways. The false lashes made her eyes look humongous, but very… pretty.

“Wow,” was all she managed to say. Krindi put the final touches on her own face and they headed out. Bema wished them good luck and they tottered along the streets to their destination.

 _Smolder_ , as it turned out, was very swanky indeed. She and Krindi wandered over to the bar and ordered three martinis and waited for their guest to arrive.

Ric Starditt was a controller for the government of Corellia, and quite possibly one of their most important contacts. She’d never met him in person, but a friend of a friend told her, “you’ll know him when you see him,” she’d said as she winked.

Krindi turned and leaned against the glass bar and nudged Ada ferociously in the side. “Is that him?” she hissed urgently.

Ada turned and saw a man walk through the doors who looked like he belonged on the cover of some steamy holofilm. Long, wavy chestnut hair tied loosely at the base of his neck and piercing blue eyes. Well built, Ada thought; he filled his suit out nicely. 

The man spied the women with three drinks between the two of them and made his way over. 

“Evening,” he said, “I’m Ric Starditt.”

“I’m Oshyx and this is Hemma,” Ada introduced the two of them because Krindi seemed momentarily dumbfounded. Ada stepped none too gently on her foot to snap her out of it.

Krindi gasped as Ada squashed her toe and said, “Right, yes! I’m Hemma, so nice to meet you.” They’d decided to use fake names when making their introductions - couldn’t be too careful during times like these.

“Shall we?” he asked. Ada smiled demurely and nodded. 

Ric led them through a black velvet curtain and down a low-lit hallway. “I figured it would be safer to talk in my private room, if that’s okay with you.” Ada looked to Krindi, who gave her a little shrug. 

They’d practiced their signals to one another should something go wrong; their plan mostly involved Ada punching people until they made it out of the bar alive. So far, they hadn’t needed to put these plans into action.

Ric opened the very last door on the left and they entered a room with a glass partition that spanned an entire wall. It reminded Ada uncomfortably of her glass prison aboard the Finalizer. 

Ric sat down on one of the velvet couches; Ada and Krindi took the seats opposite him. He sipped his martini, then sat it down on the glass table between them. A half-naked woman appeared behind the glass and began dancing, moving her hips seductively. Ada could only see her silhouette, but she struggled to maintain her facade of comfort and ease.

“Bocki tells me you have some interesting insight regarding a few things that are important to me,” Ric said, fixing them with his intense stare.

“We have some information on the First Order that might interest you,” Ada said, sipping her drink.

“Well,” Ric said, “it’s no secret that Corellia and the First Order haven’t been on the most amicable of terms. Especially since we stopped making ships for them. But losing a big customer like that has cost us.”

Ada considered this. The Resistance, as far as she knew, had no money - no way lining Corellian pockets through manufacturing Resistance ships.

“It’s possible I could connect you with someone who would be very interested in a new fleet,” she smiled.

Ric laughed and picked up his drink again, “Right, I’ve heard the Resistance could use a few more ships in their fleet… First Order really hammered ‘em hard, huh?”

“You could say that. And you could also say they’re only going to get more deadly. There’s new leadership on the rise within the First Order,” Ada twirled the olives around in her glass.

“Is that so?” Ric asked, clearly keen on continuing this thread of conversation. 

Ada asked, “You’ve heard of Kylo Ren, I’m guessing?” Ric nodded. “He’ll be Supreme Leader by the end of the week. And after that… Ren will stop at nothing until he has what he wants,” Ada concluded, taking another small sip of her beverage.

“And he wants to grab the galaxy by the balls,” Ric concluded. Krindi smiled a little at that.

“Precisely,” Ada said. 

“How did you come by this information?” he asked. 

“I’ve had the misfortune of knowing Ren for quite some time. Let’s just say, I was in a position of learning and listening for a while before I excused myself from his company.”

“You were his prisoner.” Ric’s expression lost all of its playfulness.

Ada sipped at her drink again. This question had come up time and again - where had she gotten her intel? She didn’t like to out herself as one of Ren’s captives, but first-hand accounts were valuable.

“What can we do?” Ric asked after a moment of tense silence.

“Ready your ships, prepare a fleet, and be ready to aid the Resistance when the time comes,” Krindi said.

“Once Ren takes control of the First Order, things will happen quickly. They’re stationed in a nearby sector. They’ll come for Corellia first if they have the chance,” Ada told him.

“That’s true,” Ric said, “But maybe they won’t come for us at all if they have you.” Ada went cold as the man withdrew a blaster pistol from his belt and aimed it at Krindi. Ada leapt up from the couch.

“Ah - I don’t think so,” he said, “You move a muscle and I’ll shoot your friend here right between the eyes.”

“Who are you?” Ada demanded.

“Ladies,” Ric said smoothly, “you haven’t been as covert as you thought. Corellia might rank high amongst the Resistance-sympathizing trash but not everyone here is so naive.”

“A spy for the First Order, then?”

“You could say I help keep an eye on things,” he said as he held a comm link in his hand and pressed the button. “Got ‘em,” was all he said.

“Now,” he sighed, “all we have to do is wait for your ride home.” But Ada had already pulled the gun out of his hand with the Force and switched the firing method to stun. She shot him and he crumpled to the ground.

She turned to Krindi, “Let’s go,” she said, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her out of the room.

Ada held the pistol along her thigh, concealing it between their bodies. They walked through the black velvet curtain only to be met by a man in a mask. The room had been cleared of people.

Another one of the Knights of Ren. The one with the scythe. 

Krindi gasped and Ada threw her to the side, out of the way of the brutal Force-user in front of her. “Stay down!” she shouted to her friend.

“And which one are you?” Ada asked him silkily. She fired multiple shots at him with the blaster, which he deflected using the Force or hit his armor, dealing little damage. 

Ada growled and tossed the blaster to Krindi to defend herself. The Knight leapt at her, sweeping his scythe viciously fast. Ada leaned back and avoided getting her throat cut. She ducked underneath him and punched him in the side. 

Ada was grateful Krindi took the time to repair the brace on her arm, fully amplifying her strength once more, and concealing a shiv in its gauntlet.

The force of Ada’s jab sent the sturdy Knight flying sideways and Ada took advantage of his momentary instability to drag him across the room using the Force, upending tables and chairs as he slid until finally slamming into the wall on the opposite side. 

Ada kicked off her high heels, which weren’t conducive to hand-to-hand combat. She held one in each hand as the Knight, Vicrul, she’d sensed, charged her once more. 

Ada threw one of her shoes at him hard, catching him in the face. Vicrul paused a moment and Ada slammed him through the floor and into the cellar below. 

“Krindi, let’s go!” Ada shouted as Krindi hurtled herself over the bar. “Not the front door,” Krindi said, “I saw Stormtroopers outside while you were fighting that… thing.”

Ada nodded and they ran through the abandoned kitchen to the rear exit. They crouched behind a dumpster as a squadron of ‘troopers walked by. “Check the door to the kitchens,” one of them barked. Another broke away from the group and went to stand watch next to the door. Ada felt Krindi tense. 

“Shh, just wait,” Ada told her, holding out an arm to keep Krindi from firing on the ‘trooper. 

Just as he crossed in front of their hiding spot, Ada grabbed him in a chokehold until he passed out. She pulled up her HUD and told Biggie and the Chalice that they needed evac. 

“I thought we were trying to keep them out of sight?” Krindi said. They had left the mechs with the ship in the mountains, away from the city.

“Our cover is blown and we need to get the hell out of here. Kylo knows I’m here if he’s sent Vicrul after me,” Ada said.

“You two have a very toxic relationship. I hope you know that,” Krindi admonished her.

“Yes, _mother_ , I know but now is not the time for a lecture,” Ada whispered furiously. She poked her head above the dumpster. “It looks like we’re in the clear --” she started as Vicrul burst through the door. 

“Run!” Ada yelled and they sprinted away from their pursuer, Krindi in the lead. Ada had noticed she too had removed her heels. Smart girl, Ada thought. 

“Krindi, go right!” Ada said, squeezing in behind Krindi as they entered a tiny alleyway.

Panting, they ran down the narrow passageway and emerged into an adjacent street. By now, there were Stormtroopers everywhere; there would be no getting out of here without a fight.

 _How long have they known we were here?_ Ada found herself wondering. This was an organized search, not some fortuitous happenstance. 

“Ada!” Krindi shrieked. Vicrul had reappeared at the far end of the street. 

“Stay behind me,” Ada told her and they started backing away.

“I’ll tell you what,” Vicrul taunted, “if you come willingly, I’ll let your little friend live. Hell, I might even take her home with me.”

Ada was plotting her next move when Vicrul was flung into the air by a blast from above - their ship had arrived. 

Vicrul groaned and rolled over onto his back as Big Daddy dropped from the sky and landed next to the Knight. Ada couldn’t see his face, but she could sense his shock at seeing the massive mech.

“What were you saying?” Ada chided as Vicrul tried to scramble to his feet. Big Daddy slammed the Knight into a wall as the Chalice dropped from the craft and stood next to Ada.

“Ready to embark, Navigator?” he quipped.

“Oh, yes,” Ada said. The Chalice latched itself to her and she strode over to Vicrul, who was still struggling in Big Daddy’s massive hand. 

Ada stroked his cheek with her finger. “Give Kylo my regards,” she told him before Big Daddy launched the Knight into the air. Ada didn’t doubt that he would survive his fall, but now they had other problems to solve: the small contingent of Stormtroopers surrounding them, for one.

Ada told Krindi to get inside Big Daddy - she wouldn’t have to man the controls, but at least she could stay safe in there. 

“Alright, Biggie, let’s light ‘em up!” Ada told her mech. Big Daddy launched himself into a group of stunned Stormtroopers, ravaging them with his chain gun. Ada lobbed grenades from her mech suit, firing mini-homing rockets out of her shoulder launcher. Above them, the ship was autopiloting itself and offered support from the air until they could safely flee the planet.

“Oh, Ada! I nearly forgot! We made you something while you were away,” Krindi said through her comms. “Biggie, give Ada her gift.”

Big Daddy launched something into the air and Ada caught it. She was studying it when a Stormtrooper ran at her and she shot him in the face with her pistol, barely looking up.

It was a hilt. It was - 

“A _lightsaber_? You made me a lightsaber?”

“Well, yeah, I mean… I had the specs you gave me a long time ago and Big Daddy had the glowy rock, so… is that okay?”

Ada ignited it and it hummed a stunning, glowing white. Like Ahsoka’s, Ada thought.

They battled their way through the remaining forces with relative ease, though there was no doubt they would be pursued now.

The lightsaber was well made, not that it surprised Ada - Arkanians never did anything half-assed. It sang in her hand as she cut down her foes. 

It had been a very long time since Ada felt so in control, so assured. 

They made it to the edge of the fray and quickly boarded their ship when Ada was sure they weren’t going to get shot down. 

“Time to go,” Krindi said. “Onderon?”

Ada nodded. Onderon was considerably less populated, but that wasn’t necessarily a boon. Still, she had made some friends there…

“I feel bad about leaving Bema… we didn’t even return her dresses,” Krindi said sadly.

“We’ll send them back to her after we wash them. We’ll include a note of our thanks, too,” Ada replied, having removed the Chalice. She examined the lightsaber more closely.

It was beautiful. “I hope you like it,” Krindi said. “The hilt is curved because I read that it helps with handling.” Ada admired the hilt; Krindi, too, had included a stationary crossguard.

“It’s also dual-phased and can split into two separate lightsabers,” Krindi quipped. “I figured if I was going to take the time to make one, I might as well make it cool.”

“You are the greatest friend I will ever have,” Ada said.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada and Kylo make plans to find Exegol.

Onderon had a long history of Seperatist activity - Ada hoped she could find allies there.

Word of Kylo Ren being named as Supreme Leader had made its way to Ada and Krindi while travelling to Onderon.

 _He’s done it_ , Ada thought, _He actually killed Snoke_. The thought wasn’t comforting; he was getting more powerful every day.

Word had also gotten around about the Resistance’s last stand on Crait, the reappearance of Luke Skywalker, and the Resistance fighters’ narrow escape.

But Luke Skywalker was gone now… she had sensed him so briefly, like a ray of sunshine before the storm clouds rolled in. But now, all she felt was his absence.

Ada hoped these occurrences would give her warnings some credence, even though it meant Ren was that much closer to ruling the galaxy with an iron fist.

She and Krindi touched down in Sector S-29, an unassuming location that once hosted a secret Onderian rebel base. They’d lay low for a while, hoping the First Order would lose interest for the time being.

Ada doubted that would be the case, but Krindi seemed determined to lose them. They stayed with their ship this time, which they christened Chariot, making sure they were well under cover at all times.

“I think you underestimate his determination,” Ada told Krindi.

“Doesn’t he have better things to do right now than stalk you?” Krindi retorted.

“Yes, and that’s why he’s sending his friends after us.”

“Well, after that last fight, he might want to send more of them,” Krindi smirked.

Ada whirred her lightsabers through the air. 

“Let’s hope not,” she said, focusing on her footing. Fighting with one saber took a high level of mastery; fighting with two was considerably more challenging, but Ada was determined to do it.

Her lightsaber could oscillate at different frequencies so she could lengthen or shorten her saber in the middle of battle. It also split into two separate sabers: one full length and the other a shoto saber for close combat.

“You’re getting better,” Krindi remarked. 

“Thanks. It’s a little trickier to get the hang of than I thought,” Ada said, slipping the shoto-saber hilt into the main one. She also had to get the hang of the release mechanism and the oscillator switch. All of which, in the middle of battle, would require a fair amount of coordination. But, Ada thought the curved hilt improved the handling immensely. 

“Big Daddy is a part of the hilt, you know. He offered up one of his panels so I could craft it for you.” Krindi told her.

“Really? That’s… very kind of him.” Ada examined the hilt more closely - it was a deep blue-black, like Big Daddy’s exterior, inlaid with delicate silver patterns that looked like leaves. On one side was Isobe’s crest and the other, an eight-pointed star. 

“Among the stars…” Ada whispered as her thumb traced it. She smiled, thinking of her mother. She replaced the strips of leather that allowed for better grip back around the hilt.

“This is really special, Krindi. I’ll treasure it forever. Thank you,” Ada said. 

“I’m happy to have been able to make it for you. I’m sure you’ll put it to good use.”

“You can count on that.”

They ate dinner lounging next to a small campfire, listening to the sap pop in the heat, sending spirals of sparks into the air, reminding Ada of the firebugs on Isobe.

Ada pulled at the collar of her shirt. It rubbed against the skin that was still irritated from the pronged choker Ren had made her wear.

“He was cruel to you, wasn’t he?” Krindi asked softly.

“Sometimes. Not always, though. Sometimes he was -” Ada picked at her food. What had he been to her? _Sometimes he treated me like a person?_ She scoffed and thought of the barcode on the back of her neck.

“I don’t know. Sometimes he wasn’t awful, I guess,” she said, flinging a small bone into the fire. 

Krindi merely nodded. 

“He killed Rusk,” Ada told her. 

“I heard that,” Krindi said sadly. “Rusk was good. A good person. Very driven, very capable. It’s not fair that someone can just take him away like that.”

“It isn’t fair,” Ada agreed, thinking of the poems he wrote her. “But that’s why we’re doing this, isn’t it? Not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love, when we can.”

Krindi nodded her head, tears glistening in her eyes. Krindi was hardly ever overtly emotional, so Ada allowed her a moment. 

“Yes,” Krindi said finally, “Saving what we love.”

###

Ada wanted to sleep under the stars that night, so Krindi returned to the shuttle alone to prepare for bed.

Ada lay awake for hours. She couldn’t sleep and all her usual tricks weren’t working. She stared at the flames dancing low, their movements hypnotizing.

“You’ve managed to evade me.” Ada sat straight up and looked into Kylo Ren’s eyes.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone,” she whispered angrily.

He tilted his head to the side. “You’ve been thinking about me lately.”

“So what?” she snapped. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of people lately.”

“I’ve been named Supreme Leader,” he said.

“Well, I suppose congratulations are in order.” The firelight danced in his eyes, giving his stare depth. 

“You’ve seen something. In your dreams, your visions. And you keep seeing it. I know, because I see it too,” Ren said. Ada had been looking into the fire but raised her head. 

“Don’t try to tell me you don’t know,” he said firmly. “I know what you’ve seen. And I know it haunts you.”

He was right. Her visions haunted her sleep, to the point that she was afraid to close her eyes. 

“What is it?” she asked, pulling her knees to her chest.

“A threat.”

“To you?” she asked, surprised. 

“Possibly,” he said. His legs were crossed and he shifted so his knee was bent and he rested an elbow casually on it.

“Well, we can’t have anything threatening your reign, my liege,” Ada said, rolling her eyes. 

“If it’s a threat to me, what do you think that makes it to you and the Resistance?” he fired back. 

“We’ll add him to the list,” she said. 

“You’re scared.”

“So are you,” Ada returned his steady stare.

“This creature has occupied your thoughts. I’d like to know what they are,” Ren said after a lengthy silence.

“Why don’t you just take my thoughts?” Ada asked. He had one of the best poker faces she’d ever seen; if any of her jabs were hitting home, he wasn’t telling.

She sighed and leaned forward slightly. “I have ideas, but they’re completely insane.”

“Tell me,” Ren said, keenly interested in her. 

“Darth Vader had a master,” she began, “as you well know. A man who deceived the entire galaxy and rose to power as Emperor Palpatine.”

The light danced in his eyes.

“Vader is said to have killed the Emperor, but others don’t think he really died. Palpatine knew the Force in ways that were…” Ada trailed off and chewed absently at her thumbnail.

“Unnatural,” Ren finished. Ada licked her lips. 

“I used to think it was just a scary story kids told around a campfire… but now, every time I see it, it’s like peeking behind the curtain, watching him pull the strings…”

“I’ve come to a similar conclusion,” Ren picked up a stick and stoked the flames. “But I don’t know where he is.”

“Exegol,” Ada said quickly. How she had known that she wasn’t sure. But she knew she was right.

Ren nodded, “The Sith homeworld. That makes sense, but its location is a mystery.”

Ada looked away, leaning back on her hands. “I’m sure you’ll find a way, Kylo,” she said. He watched her for a moment.

“I find it admirable, what you’re doing,” he said, changing subjects. 

“What?” she asked, thrown by this conversation switch. 

“You’re recruiting for the Resistance. Your little stunt on Corellia has garnered quite a bit of attention. From the First Order and from others… A one-woman army has that effect on people I guess.” The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. 

“Saw that, did you?’ she asked, arching a brow. 

“You’re hard to miss.” They sat in silence for a few seconds. “Ada?” he said, “Will you help me find Exegol? Please?”

She pursed her lips and looked away. Ren was willing to seek out the menace on Exegol and kill it. She wasn’t convinced she could trust him, but what was the alternative? If it was true that Palpatine had lived all those years ago, had just been hibernating in the Unknown Regions… they were doomed. 

But she couldn’t let him have her help that easily. 

“What do I get in return?” she asked.

“I’ll spare your life when I become Emperor,” he said. 

“And members of the Resistance?”

“I’ll offer immunity to them if they stand down. Should they choose to continue fighting me, I will continue to slaughter them.”

“You’re despicable,” Ada said, keeping her gaze steady. 

“It’s a sight kinder than what Emperor Palpatine would likely do to them, wouldn’t you say?”

She would say that. Ada liked to think that Kylo Ren could still be reasoned with, for now. 

“Help me and you’ll have my word I won’t execute a single Resistance member when this is all said and done,” he said. He wanted this - badly enough to concede forgoing executions for ‘traitors’.

“You’ll just imprison them all,” Ada pushed. 

Ren looked down for a moment, gathering himself. He was trying very hard to keep this conversation civil and productive. Ada hid a small smile as he looked back at her. Diplomacy was never his strong suit.

“You have my word that I will only imprison the leadership; everyone else… will perform community service.”

Ada leaned forward, giving him a tight smile. “We’re gonna need to flesh out these terms you’re throwing around.”

“Light labor for ten years -- five years,” he retreated, watching her expression.

“Indentured servitude, really?” she said, finally cracking a smile.

“I promise to be merciful,” Ren said. He was playing with her. She cocked her head to the side. 

“That’s not comforting,” Ada said, biting her lip. She still remembered the prod, the collar, the chains that had restrained her. She shivered.

Ada had many misgivings about helping her enemy find his way to the Sith while also recruiting forces to defeat him. But the alternative, a resurgence of a Palpatine Empire was far worse. And if it came down to it, if Kylo Ren and the First Order won, if she lived, if he wanted her still… perhaps she could move him to mercy. 

He watched her calculating her next move.

“I’ll help you find Exegol,” she said at last. With her HUD, she had access to thousands of databases at any given time. There was bound to be something out there, some lore imbued with a bit of truth, that she could find. 

Ren had leaned back and taken a deep breath, relieved that she had agreed.

“Thank you,” he said to her, eyes still reflecting the fire. She gave him a small nod.

“But…” Ada said, “I want to go with you. To Exegol.”

“Ada -” he started.

“I go with you or you don’t go at all,” Ada said firmly. Ren sighed through his nose and gave a sharp nod.

“Fine,” he said. There was a moment of contemplative silence between them.

“I’ve been thinking about what you told me the last we spoke,” Ren said, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes. “What you said about coming to you asking for help and calling someone else master.”

Ada said nothing, but watched him closely. 

“Now I call no one ‘master’. And I have you to thank for that, too.” Ren stood and walked around the fire, putting his hand out. She looked at it for a minute before taking it and pulling herself to her feet. 

“I know I owe an important part of my success to you. I promise I won’t forget that,” Ren said to her, still holding her hand. It wasn’t much, but it was almost… kind. She looked at him like he’d just lit his hair on fire.

“This is… very out of character for you,” Ada said. 

“I am trying to keep you in my good graces. You are,” he sighed, “a powerful ally and a formidable foe.” He ran his thumb over hers. 

_Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, do not look into his eyes_. She looked into his eyes, deep pools she could drown in.

 _Damn it, Ada_ , she cursed herself. She pulled away from him gently and said, “You’d better fucking kill him.”

“I will,” Ren said before pulling her back to him and pressing his mouth to hers, the stars overhead were bright and twinkling. 

He brushed her hair behind her ear. He held his hand against her face, his lips moving against hers. 

From the very first time they saw one another…

_It was always meant to be me._

Ada had no one else who understood this bond, she realized. No one else understood how awful it was… and how beautiful. 

“I don’t want to love Kylo Ren,” she braced her forehead against his, placing her hands on either side of his face. “But I don’t know how to stop,” she told him. He held onto her arms, fingers an iron grip.

“Tell me how, please. Tell me how to let you go,” she pleaded with him.

“If I knew, I’d tell you.”

There was no letting go, for either of them. The Force had brought them together, and it wouldn’t let them part until… until the right moment.

She kissed him hard, wanting to forget who he was, even if for just one night. Someone, anyone, but Kylo Ren or Ben Solo, for that matter. The promise of a normal love, a normal life. A life she knew she was never meant to have.

She didn’t understand how this felt so real - he wasn’t there and yet, he was there, by way of the Force. 

“I remember the time you told me that you thought it was the last time you’d laugh. And I had hoped you were wrong. I loved it when you laughed. When you smiled.”

“I remember,” he said, halting slightly at the mention of his past life. She was surprised to see his eyes were slightly wet, glistening with unshed tears. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him cry.

“All I ever wanted was to laugh with you, to be a part of your life that made you happy,” she said.

“You do. You do make me… ” Ren trailed off, the words dying in his mouth.

“This isn’t happiness. This is acceptance,” Ada told him sadly.

He buried his face in her neck and she felt wetness left behind on her skin. She remembered a time when she said she’d happily throw herself into the pits of Hell if she could just share a life with him. 

“Acceptance is the closest thing to happiness I have,” he looked at her, cheeks glistening.

She kissed his lips again, his jaw, tasting salty tears, tracing the scar on his cheek down to his neck. She knew his scars like the back of her hand. She had healed them, after all. 

Ada laid him down in the grass, removing their clothes with a renewed sense of desperation. She hated the way this felt like goodbye. For so many, his death would release them from bondage, but for her, it meant a lifetime of loneliness. She’d never begrudge anyone their freedom and she hoped they wouldn’t begrudge her this one moment with him.

He pulled his shirt off over his head, pulling her down on top of him so he could feel her skin against his. He kissed the soft place beneath her jaw, underneath her ear. Ren’s hands roamed over her body, trying to touch as much of her as he could. 

“This isn’t goodbye,” he said, sensing her thoughts as he always did. 

He flipped her over so she was lying on his discarded shirt. His hand massaged her breast in a way that was familiar now.

Her thighs tightened against his hips, begging him to fill her. His eyes, black liquid obsidian, burned into hers. 

“No one can kill me the way you do,” he told her as he sank himself into her and she bit his shoulder. She knew what he had meant; no one could bring her so much pleasure and twist it with torment the way he did.

But they always found each other, in the end. For better or worse. _Usually for worse_ , Ada conceded.

She felt the Force flow through them both; the feeling was transcendental, electrifying. She felt him moving inside her, stroking that same spot… his consistency was admirable. Ren ground his pelvis against her clit, the way she liked it, keeping a steady rhythm.

Her face was pressed next to his and she moaned his name in his ear, feeling the pressure inside her build. Ada didn’t think, in that moment, she’d ever get enough of him. 

If she were her own best friend in this moment, she’d feel a little sorry for this version of Ada. She’d pity this lonesome, gullible woman who couldn’t move on from the past, clinging to a person who no longer existed, holding onto a future that was never promised.

 _You have to stop_ , she’d tell herself, _You have to let him go._

“I don’t want you to leave me,” she said, her voice ragged with need, “Please, stay with me. Don’t go back. Don’t leave.” But she knew he couldn’t; no matter what path either of them chose, they were never destined to be together. And it killed her a little, every time.

She begged for release, for salvation as he led her down that wretched path to the point of no return, and she clung to him, to the hope of a brighter tomorrow. 

“Ada,” he said, breathing into her neck, “I’m sorry,” his voice tore at her heart, “for everything.” 

For all the pain he’d caused her, for all the horrific events in store for them. And she would forgive him, every time. Ada would find a way to see his humanity, his goodness, despite his misdeeds.

 _Misdeeds?_ she hissed at herself, _Genocide - slavery - means nothing to you?_

Of course it did. Of course, his acquiescence was unforgivable. It was unforgivable, perhaps, only redeemable in - 

in death.

 _Why?_ She’d asked herself a thousand times over. _Why do you forgive him?_

 _Because_ , she’d say, _we have to save what we love. Anything else, and life stops having meaning. If we stop loving one another, despite our sins, then we stop fighting for hope, for truth, for justice. And I don't want to live in a world like that._

Sometimes, she despised her inspirational inner monologue. But, she knew at the end of all of this, she loved Ben Solo still _and_ she loved Kylo Ren; because of or in spite of the things he had done.

When they’d finished, his head lying on her chest, she asked him, “Would you kill me, if you had to? If I was the only thing that stood in your way?”

Kylo didn’t answer right away. 

“I’ve tried to kill you once, what makes you think I wouldn’t do it again?” he said.

“You didn’t want to though - it’s why you rigged the saber to explode, so you wouldn’t have to kill me yourself,” Ada told him.

“Fortunately, for you, you are exceptionally hard to kill,” he murmured into her hair. 

“I once told you I thought you’d stop at nothing to achieve power, that you’d never be satisfied, but I don’t think that’s true. I think there is a line, somewhere, you wouldn’t cross.” She paused. 

Leia crossed her mind for some reason… in an instant, she knew he had hesitated when he had the chance to kill her.

“Will you do me a favor?” Ada asked, at last, “If your answer is no, you wouldn’t want to kill me, choose another path. Kylo… there’s power in saying no.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada finds the location of the Sith wayfinder.

Ada had scanned hundreds of thousands of databases and hadn’t found a single useful thing about Exegol. But she knew she had seen something about the elusive planet, somewhere.

Luke had shown her the ancient Jedi texts when she trained with him on the island. Massive old, dusty tomes written in languages she couldn’t understand. 

Ada paced up and down their ship the following afternoon, wracking her brain for the information she needed. 

Exegol wasn’t on any known star chart. There was no navigating to it, unless you already knew where it was. _The Sith and their secrets_ … Ada thought to herself.

Breathing deep, she concentrated on finding those obscure memories; the answer had to be somewhere. 

She had somewhat studied the Sith religion during her training as a Jedi. Most of the others hadn’t thought it was necessary to try to understand what they were fighting against - what the Jedi had been fighting against for millennia. 

They were an elusive group… preferring to work in the shadows, pulling the invisible strings. Obsessed with gaining power. The _Chosen One_ prophecy foretold the end of the Sith, but not the end of the Dark side of the Force. And yet… they lived. Emperor Palpatine lived. 

Ada had finally let herself accept what she had known to be true - Kylo Ren thought Palpatine had survived as well. If Palpatine survived, it’s possible he had been amassing followers, plotting his return to power since he disappeared. She shuddered to think of what he could create if left to his own devices.

 _Where are you? Where is Exegol?_ She concentrated hard on these questions and gradually, the sounds of the twittering birds faded away, and she was surrounded by silence.

She opened her eyes. She stood in the doorway of the room - the skulls, the mask - always the same. 

“You come seeking answers, young one,” the thing drawled, its back to her. _Ada, this is not a good idea_ , a little voice in the back of her mind said.

“Come,” it crooned, “find the answers you seek.” Slowly, the thing turned to face her. Normally, this was where Ada would flail herself awake in abject terror.

_Not this time. I have to face it._

“Kylo Ren wishes to find me,” it said. Ada forced herself to look at its face - she couldn’t see its eyes beneath the hood, but its skin was thin and saggy and bone-white. 

She licked her lips, her mouth feeling dry as the deserts on Jakku. “How do we find Exegol?” she asked. 

A deep, rumbling chuckle and then, “I will show you.” It reached up and pulled the ceiling down on them both. 

Ada crouched and covered her head with her arms, waiting to be crushed to death. But nothing happened. She opened her eyes once more and -

_Where am I?_

She’d never seen this landscape before. She reached down and sifted the dirt through her fingers. Volcanic rock, sparse vegetation, a slowly recovering ecosystem. For a brief moment, she thought she was seeing Isobe’s future, but when she turned, a massive fortress rose before her, blocking out the sun. 

“Mustafar,” she said. Ada climbed up the blackened rock and neared the entrance of the fortress. A flash of a long-ago past flitted through her mind; a fallen Jedi, mutilated beyond recognition, twisted by the Dark side and preserved by the Sith.

“Vader.” This was Fortress Vader. She swallowed as she pushed open its massive doors and stepped inside. 

An unnatural darkness pervaded the place and it smelled like - like the cave, so long ago. She reached out with her mind, seeking the answers she came for.

_Where is Exegol?_

Something held her and she glided forward under its control. She struggled against it.

 _Knowledge comes at a price_ … That voice, so reassuring; she hadn’t heard it in so long. 

“No. No!” she flailed against the dark tendrils that pulled her farther into the darkness. 

The sconces on the walls lit themselves with a flickering blue flame as the entity released her from its grasp. She dropped to the ground. In front of her was a massive stone chest of some kind, inscribed with an ancient language unknown to her. 

Ada placed her hands on either side of what looked like the lid and tried to shove it off. It wouldn’t budge. The thirst for knowledge and understanding was building in her, a burning feeling fueled by the fact that she shouldn’t be here, she never should’ve come here. 

But, she was here all the same. _Knowledge comes at a price_ , it had told her. 

“A sacrifice?” she asked. A breath of wind stirred the dust that littered the floor. Ada hesitated for a moment, not wanting to give more of herself to this… entity. But then, flashes of memories that weren’t hers, but a collective of the generational trauma inflicted upon people by the Empire. A cruel dictatorship. Needless deaths. Pointless pain. 

Ada ejected the knife that resided in the gauntlet of her brace and slashed a cut across the palm of her hand. She slammed her bleeding hand on the top of the chest and smeared it across its face. 

The top of the chest split in half and moved apart revealing - 

Vader’s mask. Not the melted one Kylo Ren possessed. This one was pristine. She picked it up and 

_It breathed_. That sound that only Darth Vader’s mask could generate. 

Ada nearly dropped it. _Get it together, Ada_ , she told herself. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a shaky breath. When she opened her eyes again, she held something in the shape of a pyramid.

“What -?” A star chart was etched into its sides.

“A map. A map to Exegol.” She’d found it. Ada smiled as she stood with it in her hand. Ren would be pleased and she would be rewarded for her diligence.

 _A path to power lies ahead of you_. Instead of the wayfinder in her hands, now she held a black crown; its points glinting and sharp and dripping with blood. She smiled and moved to place it on her head, a red gleam in her eyes.

Ada snapped back into her body. At some point she had fallen over on her side and someone was shaking her.

“Ada? Are you alright? Say something!” Krindi sounded panicked. 

“I’m fine, I’m okay,” Ada panted. She felt jittery. 

“What did you do to your hand?” Krindi asked her. Ada looked down and saw it was covered in blood… and volcanic ash. Ada licked her lips, a nervous habit.

“It was an accident,” she told Krindi. “It’s nothing, I promise. I’ll clean myself up and be ready to go to town with you.”

“Ada, maybe you should rest. I can go by myself. You look… unwell,” Krindi said as kindly as she could.

Ada felt unwell, she felt sick -

_corrupted._

It was possible Palpatine hadn’t been completely certain of her existence up until she answered his call. And now - now he was sure Ada lived.

“Maybe you’re right,” she mumbled, rinsing her hand off with water and splashing some of it on her face.

Krindi prepared for her trek into town to start looking for inroads for Resistance fighters. Ada told her about all the best local haunts, since she had spent some time on Onderon before. She was also explicit in telling Krindi which places to avoid. "The drinks here are strong," Ada insisted, "and the inhabitants are... well, they can be pretty forward and, uh, persuasive, so just keep your head on straight and you'll be fine." She remembered her trysts from the last time she had been on this planet and felt her cheeks flush. Ada waited for her to leave before reaching out to Ren.

She found Kylo Ren, sitting somewhere - she couldn’t see his surroundings, oddly enough - 

“There’s a Sith wayfinder on Mustafar. Corvax Fen, Fortress Vader. I’ll meet you there.”

She cut the connection before he could respond. She’d wait until Krindi returned to tell her, but she’d have to lay low on Onderon until Ada came back.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada and Kylo explore Mustafar in search of the Sith wayfinder. Ada's visions become noticeably worse.

“Hold on, wait a minute!” Krindi said as Ada explained where she was going. “Ada, this is madness. You cannot go to Mustafar. We have to help recruit people for the Resistance - I thought that was our mission!”

“There’s something I have to do there. Something I have to find. If I don’t, there won’t be a Resistance,” Ada said tersely as she packed a small bag. 

“Well -” Krindi spluttered, “Let me at least go with you.”

“Absolutely not,” Ada said. Krindi crossed her arms, looking very put out.

“I’ll leave Big Daddy with you; he’ll keep you safe until I return. I have the Chalice and I’ll borrow a ship from someone at the base,” Ada told her.

“Check in with me every six hours, do you understand? If I don’t hear from you, Big Daddy and I will find you,” Krindi said crossly. 

Ada nodded. After a moment Krindi sighed, “I don’t understand you, Ada, but I trust your judgement. Please, just be careful, okay?” Krindi held Ada’s bandaged hand gently in hers. 

“I will come back for you. That’s a promise,” Ada told her.

Ada strolled into Sector S-29, remnants of the old Rebel base still evident. Krindi had managed to tweak the Chalice so it was more compact and made it easier to travel with. Ada wore the chest piece and would just have to touch the chest to assemble the rest of it. 

She worried about leaving Krindi, even under the watchful eye of Big Daddy. But, she reminded herself, Krindi managed perfectly fine on her own while Ada was Ren’s prisoner. 

“She’ll be fine,” Ada said out loud. There was a makeshift hangar to the left filled with what looked like a bunch of junk and spare parts. Someone was tinkering with a ship.

“Excuse me?” Ada called out. “Um, I’m looking to hire a vessel.”

Something popped its head out of the junkpile.

“Well, I wouldn’t recommend hiring this one,” it said. 

He’s a Bivall, she thought, judging by his rather lizard-like appearance, crested head, and long spindly fingers.

Ada smiled as the Bivall dislodged himself, sending a shower of junk down onto the ground. 

“Oh, damn it,” he grumbled. 

“I’m Ada,” she introduced herself as the Bivall bounded over to her on lanky legs. 

“Qip,” he said, “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He blinked his huge eyes at her. 

“You’re looking to borrow a ship?” he asked.

“Yes,” Ada told him, “ideally one that can make it to the Mustafar system and back.” The more she looked around at the expansive junkyard, the less hopeful she felt about that possibility.

“Well, there’s really nothing here that could make that journey… except my ship, of course -”

“I can pay you,” Ada said quickly before he rescinded his offer. She watched him weigh the pros and cons of this absolute stranger borrowing his ship for a journey to Mustafar. Bivalls were exceptionally bright and she wondered if perhaps Qip valued knowledge a little more than money.

“You know, my good friend and I are just passing through, but she’s an Arkanian - one of the smartest people I know. You should keep an eye out for her; I’m sure she’d love to have someone to talk with while I’m gone and perhaps she can even help you with your ship,” Ada said, thanking Krindi in advance.

She didn’t think it possible, but Qip’s eyes widened further at the idea of chatting up an Arkanian scientist. “You don’t say…” Qip trailed off. 

“Yep, but she can’t miss me if I can’t get off this planet. I can pay you for the charter - half now and half when I return?” she offered.

“Yes, I - yes, that will do fine,” he said, shaking her hand.

His ship was a real clunker, but Qip promised her that it would get her to her destination.

“Just make sure you don’t overwork the compressor. If it starts smoking just give it a little tap with this.” He handed her a wrench. She looked at it, having more misgivings about this ship by the minute.

###

Ada activated the Chalice as she orbited Mustafar; the clunker had gotten her there, but barely. For a moment, she didn’t think she’d be able to take it through hyperspace, the thing rattled so much, but it made it through in one piece. 

“Alright,” she said, “let’s hope we don’t burn to a crisp on entry.”

She landed the ship near Corvax Fen - well, actually it slammed to the ground when its landing boosters gave out. 

“So much for a quiet landing,” she said. Ada knew there were inhabitants on Mustafar, especially since its ecosystem started making a comeback after the mining operations ceased. She recalled the stories she had heard of Mustafar: a planet covered in lava and draped in Dark energy.

The scene she observed now was familiar to her; she had seen it in her vision. The trees looked as they had, so she was confident she was in the right place. She put the ship in low power mode, afraid she’d never be able to get it started if she shut it off completely.

Ada exited the ship and saw Kylo Ren’s batlike vessel appear in the sky. She couldn’t believe she actually volunteered to do this. It was one thing to have a hallucination but it was another level of disbelief when it was based in reality. The place she saw in her vision actually existed; she couldn’t shake the strange feeling of deja vu.

Ada leaned against her junker, waiting for Ren to disembark. He thudded down the boarding ramp and turned to her, cocking his head to the side.

“Ada?” he asked, hesitantly. She’d forgotten she had the Chalice visor pulled down over her face. 

“It’s me,” she said as it opened, revealing herself. 

“That’s, uh,” Ren stuttered and cleared his throat, “The suit looks good on you.”

Ada arched a brow at him, “Quit it,” she chastised him. 

“Where’s the fortress?” he asked, ready to get down to business. Ada merely pointed into the trees.

“Can we try not to slaughter the Alazmec colonists? They guard what’s left of the fortress, and they probably won’t be happy to see us. But let’s try to do this politely,” she told him.

“We’ll see,” he said, making his way toward the trees. Ada sighed, snapped her visor shut, and followed.

As she expected, her plan of not murdering the planet’s inhabitants wasn’t going well. The colonists had not been happy to see them and shot at them on sight. Kylo Ren launched into a vicious attack and Ada followed in his destructive wake, mostly defending herself with as little violence as she could.

But, these little buggers were aggressive, and eventually she had to use her lightsaber and cut a few of them down. Her lightsaber hummed in her hand as she threw it through the air, slicing two of them clean through, before calling it back to her. Ada used a Force-push to disengage the others who insisted on firing at her.

 _Why can’t they just stop fighting us?_ She thought, the irony of that question was not lost on her. _You’re the villain in someone’s story_ , she thought ruefully.

She struck one of the colonists and watched as Ren ravaged three of them in a row. _He loves this_ , she thought. _He’s fueled by savagery._

Ada drove her saber down, cutting a colonist’s blaster in half before slicing him with a vicious upward strike. Then all was quiet.

Ren dropped the body of one of his victims to the ground as Ada approached him from behind, stowing her lightsaber back in the Chalice. 

“Come on,” she said to him. He followed her through the trees.

Ada could feel it as they neared the remains of the fortress. She stood at the bottom of the rocky outcropping and stared up at its massive form. Even in ruin, it was still foreboding. 

Just looking at it made her feel… disturbed. 

“I can’t go in there with you,” she said, not looking away from the ruin. “I thought -” she gathered herself before continuing, “I thought I could, but I can’t go in there. I’ll meet you back at the ships.”

Ren was watching her but she couldn’t meet his eyes. Ada thanked her lucky stars for the visor covering her face. She felt cold and clammy. 

“Ada,” he said, his hand brushing hers, “are you okay?” _He must be worried,_ Ada thought darkly, _he very rarely cares how I feel._

“I’ll see you at the ships,” she said again, turning away.

“It’s a pyramid-shaped thing in a big chest - can’t miss it,” she called out to him as she made her way through the trees. She looked back and watched as Kylo Ren clambered over the black volcanic rock and reached the ruin’s massive doors. 

She walked back toward the ships slowly, feeling tired and sluggish. She drew the visor back in an attempt to get fresh air and wipe the thick, sticky sweat from her brow. 

Ada made it back to the junker, leaning against it once more. She braced herself as she felt bile rise at the back of her throat, feeling how she used to when she would get motion-sick on flights.

“What is happening to me?” she asked after she finished puking, covering her mess with dirt and ash. Ada wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and fetched some water from the cockpit. She gargled and spat it on the ground. 

_What did I give permission to in that fortress?_ The potential answers terrified her. _Knowledge comes at a price._ A lesson she should have learned long ago on Dathomir…

She crouched down and put her head between her hands, a dull ache pounding at her temples. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears. A steady, rhythmical _thud-thud, thud-thud, thud-thud._

There was darkness when she opened her eyes again. She was back in the fortress, the walls illuminated with the flickering blue flame.

“Kylo?” she called out. She turned and he was right there. She jumped and stifled a scream.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes searching for her.

“Are you seeing this, too?”

“I can hear you, but I can’t see you,” he told her. Blood pounded in her ears, picking up its pace.

_Thud-thud thud-thud thud-thud_

He was gone. But something else was here with her. Fear rose in her throat, its rancid taste bitter on her tongue, and she felt herself tremble at whatever was lurking in those dark depths.

“Ben,” she whimpered. 

There was a noise she could barely hear; a low, continuous humming that she felt in her heart more than her ears. Ada pulled out her lightsaber and ignited it, its luminous white glow casting long shadows all around her. Terror pulled at her, her pupils blown wide to sense her foes in the dark. 

The glow from her lightsaber stuttered, flickering like a dying lightbulb; the strobing light hurt her eyes.

Then it died. A shrieking roar consumed her, filled her ears with its vicious desire to get what it wanted at any cost.

She pressed her back to a wall in an effort to escape its tendrils, feeling for a way out with one hand. Ada felt the wall turn into what she could only hope was a hallway as she hurled herself through the opening.

The scene was so different it was jarring. She froze in her tracks and watched herself - or a version of herself - take the hand of a little boy with… with thick, wavy black hair. She was dressed in long black robes, embellished here and there with streaks of red; a crown rested on her head. Another figure crossed into the room and Ada grabbed his hand as they walked out onto a balcony to thunderous applause, tumultuous adoration from their people - their subjects. 

Together, they built a new Empire. Ada blinked as the vision flashed before her eyes.

_A new Empire built on the desecrated bones of the Republic._

Fake-Ada looked over her shoulder, directly into her eyes, but fake-Ada’s eyes were pitch-black, soulless. Her skin was ashen and black veins pumped poison through her body.

“The _Chosen One_ prophecy foretold the fall of the Sith, but not the Dark side of the Force.” Fake-Ada’s blue-grey lips moved out of sync with her own words - like some sick dubbed version of herself. 

Ada wrenched herself away from the scene and turned into another.

“The Force cannot be in balance without both Light and Dark,” Luke was telling her. Ada was sitting across from him by the fire pit where they trained.

She turned again. Kylo Ren’s face watching her in her glass prison aboard the Finalizer.

“Ben Solo is dead,” He told her, enunciating every word. 

“No,” she said, “he lives in me.” 

A monstrous roar erupted from the very walls, echoing and amplified. Beams of light broke through the fortress’s ceiling as the rest of it began to crumble into ash. White light seared her eyes and she closed them against its intensity.

When Ada opened her eyes again, she was staring up at the sky. 

“Ada,” Ren patted her face to bring her around, “Ada, say something,”

“Ugh,” she groaned as she rolled to the side and heaved again. _What the fuck did I let inside me?_

“What have I done?” she asked desperately, wiping her mouth once more. Ada had let some Dark thing inside her and now it was taking hold. It had felt a spark of hope, of Light within her and now it would extinguish it with a crushing tidal wave of blackness.

“You need help,” he said. He sounded concerned. Ren never sounded concerned. “Let me take you back to the Finalizer where they can examine you.” He held her face between his hands.

 _No. Because then he’ll know. And he can’t know until… until the right moment._ Ada just shook her head. 

“Ada,” he said firmly, “you need medical attention. You cannot fly a ship like this, let alone accompany me to Exegol.” She just closed her eyes, wanting desperately to be left alone. 

He huffed, misinterpreting her silence, and said, “You wouldn’t be taken as my prisoner; I give you my word. Just let them check you over in the medbay, and when you feel better you can go.”

“Can’t,” she mumbled. Ada rolled onto her hands and knees and made to stand up using the ship as a crutch. “Water,” she said. Ren handed her a skein and Ada gulped it down like she’d been burning with a fever. 

Her head felt slightly more clear and her limbs shook less. 

“What the fuck happened in there?” Ren demanded of her. “What happened to you?”

“What did you see?” she rasped, her throat raw from vomiting and… she felt so hot all of a sudden. 

“I had picked up the wayfinder where you said it would be and then I heard your voice, but I couldn’t see you. Then you just… you were just gone. So I ran back here and you were on the ground convulsing, foaming at the mouth, and your eyes were rolling around in your head. _What - happened?_ ” he asked again, sounding almost angry. 

“I can’t explain it. I never should’ve gone in there,” Ada whispered. She hit her chest and the Chalice folded itself up, leaving only the breastplate visible. Ada bent over, willing her lungs to take in more oxygen. She started crying as she struggled to take deep, shuddering breaths. 

“Ada,” Ren’s tone changed. “I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”

“You can’t help me; no one can help me,” she cried, agonized. His gloved thumb wiped tears away from her cheek. 

“I’ll kill him,” he said, “Then this will be over.” Her lips trembled. She shook her head, recalling the path that had been laid out for her, for them. _It will never end_ , she thought hopelessly.

She sniffed and said, “I need to take a walk. Just stay here, okay?”

“Stay in sight,” he told her. She walked a little way into the trees again, looking up at their spindly branches. _Young trees_ , she thought. She rubbed at her eyes with her fingertips, trying to rub away the memories of what she had seen, but they were burned into her. 

This couldn’t actually be happening to her. She couldn’t be… but they had - it was a logical consequence and it was, Ada concluded, entirely probable. She had always been diligent about protecting herself from such accidents, but the past few months or so, life had gotten out of hand and… 

“It cannot be. It just cannot be,” she said out loud.

_We had sex a matter of days ago - there’s no way I could possibly know right now._

She felt like she was completely losing her mind. These visions - no, _hallucinations_ , she told herself - had gotten wholly out of control. She should have sought help a long time ago. They weren’t normal, even for Jedi, and Ren hadn’t experienced anywhere near the same thing she had. 

She turned, tempted to go with him to the Finalizer, wanting some nameless physician to tell her she had a brain tumor and that all the crazy shit she kept seeing was a result of that.

“No worries,” he would tell her, “we’ll remove it and life will go back to normal for you.”

“When the fuck has life ever been normal for me?” she snarled at the sky. At some point, she’d just have to stop fighting against the current and let life take her where it may. 

_Back into that dark pit?_

_No, not there._ Which was why she had to keep fighting so hard against the riptide that had been threatening to pull her under. She couldn’t stop swimming, but she was so tired… and there was no one to pull her to safety; she’d have to swim until she couldn’t anymore and she was pulled under the turbulent waves…

“Death will come another day,” she told herself, turning and walking back toward her ship.

 _But something worse will come before it._ She shook her head to rid herself of the thought.

Ren watched her suspiciously as she approached. “So, you have it? The wayfinder?”

“Yes,” he said, not taking his eyes off hers.

“You know,” she said, “it’s funny how many maps there are for places and people that don’t want to be found.”

His eyes narrowed and the corner of his mouth lifted; that classic Ben Solo half-smile. 

The memory caught her off-guard. She brushed her hair behind her ear.

“I want you to come back to the Finalizer with me,” he told her, “Ada, I thought you were dying. This is serious, whatever is happening with you.”

“Well, if whatever this is kills me, it’s one less job for you.”

He wrapped his fingers around her arm, his lips pressed together as he breathed through his nose.

Ada looked at his hand then back up to his eyes; she sensed the conflicting battle raging inside him.

“I can still go with you,” she told him defiantly.

“No,” Ren said, sensing her impending argument, “you’d be more of a detriment than a help. You can’t come with me to Exegol, Ada - not like this. I have to confront him on my own.”

Ada knew he was right; she wasn’t even sure if she’d be able to pilot her own ship let alone fight a Sith lord. But she still wanted to be there… _to make sure he actually does what he promised_ , she thought bitterly.

He sensed her unease. “I will end Palpatine,” he said, grasping her by the arms once more. Ada searched his eyes, hoping to confirm his sincerity. At last, she nodded, feeling wretched and worried.

Ada turned to embark the junker, but he pulled her around and kissed her gently. 

“Be safe,” he said before grimacing a little,”Ugh, your breath is atrocious.” 

She hit him, “Ass!” Ada admonished. “Minutes ago you were worried for my life and now this,” she huffed dramatically, trying to ease his concern.

He kissed her again to redeem himself. Ren turned toward his ship and shouted over his shoulder, “You know how to find me.”

“I’ll just follow the wake of death and destruction,” she called back. She knew he smiled at that. She smiled too, despite herself, before climbing into the cockpit and taking off.

Ada hoped Kylo Ren would kill Palpatine, she really did. But, she couldn’t shake her misgivings. Ren’s lust for power knew no bounds, that she could tell.

She considered her situation as she left Mustafar’s orbit. She didn’t see any other scenario working in her favor - she had no choice but to trust that man.

“Alright, you pile of crap, please just get me back in one piece,” she said to the ship as she punched it into hyperspace.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight scenes! Lightsabers! Knights of Ren!

She made landfall on Onderon, returning the ship to Qip, where - coincidentally - she found Krindi rustling around in the mountain of parts.

“Ah! Found one!” she yelled as Qip rounded the corner.

“Oh, well done - Oh!” he said, spotting Ada, “you’ve returned! I hope you had an easy journey.”

“I lived,” Ada smiled as Krindi emerged from the scrap pile with axle grease smeared on her face.

“I see you’ve been having fun while I’ve been away,” she said, hugging her friend.

“Oh, well I’ve just been helping Qip figure out the issue with his wiring system in the new ship,” she shrugged.

“Krindi has been most helpful; I’m so glad we met!” Qip said, ecstatic. Ada paid him the rest of the bill for chartering his ship and she and Krindi set off toward their camp.

Krindi pressed Ada for information on her Mustafar excursion, but there was very little Ada felt like talking about. 

“Here’s what I’ll tell you,” she said to Krindi, “I found what I was looking for and now it’s out of my hands.”

“Are you relieved?” she asked Ada.

Ada considered it. Was she relieved that she had to put all her faith in Kylo Ren to kill some horrific reanimated version of the most evil man the galaxy had ever seen? No, not really. But Ada nodded anyway.

Krindi regaled her with the various adventures she’d had with Qip as they neared the camp.

“And then I told him if he just removes the restrictor from the compressor and diverts the extra energy toward the engines, that would solve his problem,” she laughed, “Ah, you should’ve seen his face.”

They approached their ship and Big Daddy lumbered out to greet them.

“Hey bud,” Ada said, patting him on the arm. She tossed her stuff on the floor and laid down on a cushioned bench, throwing her arm over her face. She felt beat.

Ada rested a couple of days, feeling better than she had on Mustafar but not entirely recovered. She meditated with the rancor claw, trying to rid herself of whatever toxic thing was taking root inside her, to little success. It disturbed Ada; her Dathomir magick had never failed her before.

Krindi had made fast friends with Qip, who had enlightened her on the inhabitants of Onderon. He seemed concerned regarding the Resistance’s need for fighters.

Ada had been napping on the same bench; she felt like she had hardly moved from it since she returned. The nightmares she’d been having kept her up most nights, accompanied by inexplicable cold sweats, chills, and fever. The nosebleeds had started not long after and her eyes were constantly red and itchy.

“Ada,” Krindi said, the tone in her voice was a little alarming. 

“What?” Ada asked, nearing Krindi and the comms unit. A message from the Resistance. Ada watched Poe Dameron elaborate on the news the Resistance had received:

_We’ve decoded the intel from the First Order spy and it confirms the worst. Somehow, Palpatine returned. He’s been planning his revenge. His followers have been building something for years; the largest fleet the galaxy’s ever known. He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin._

_The Emperor and his fleet have been hiding in the Unknown Regions on a world called Exegol. So Palpatine’s been out there, all this time, pulling the strings._

Ada listened to the rest of the message with a feeling of disbelief. A spy in the First Order - Hux, naturally, who would stop at nothing for power and control. Whatever information he had been looking for in Ren’s chambers, he must have found elsewhere.

The Resistance would search for Exegol themselves and try to destroy the Sith and, subsequently, the First and Final Order. 

Ada’s hands curled into fists as a quiet, boiling rage threatened to overtake her. 

Kylo Ren had lied to her, yet again. He told her he would kill Palpatine and instead, took his fleet in exchange for power, control.

None of this was out of character, but Ada felt infuriated all the same. She thought, for the briefest of moments, Ren might have… actually acted not out of self-interest, but in an effort to help her. He seemed so worried for her and had connected her illness to Palpatine. But she had, yet again, underestimated his greed.

She sagged a little as she absorbed this information. 

“You knew,” Krindi said. Ada turned toward her. “You already knew about the Emperor… when you went to Mustafar.”

“I was trying to find a way to get to him and kill him before anyone else could find out,” Ada said, the strain creeping into her voice. “I put my trust in the wrong person to finish the fucking job.” Ada grabbed the object nearest her and hurled it across the ship. She seethed. 

“Him,” Krindi said quietly. “You handed him a map to his dynasty.”

“Yes,” Ada said through her teeth, angry tears leaking from her eyes. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been this angry, felt so betrayed. She wanted vengeance so badly and it was fogging her ability to think clearly. It seemed like no matter how she tried, she couldn’t let her anger go. 

Something shifted in Krindi’s demeanor. “Where is he now?” she asked. 

Ada paused for a moment, watching her friend. “I’m not sure,” she said at last. 

“Can you find him?” Krindi replied. Ada cocked her head at her friend. 

“What are you suggesting?” she asked. 

“We find him and we kill him. The Resistance can deal with the Emperor and we’ll deal with Ren.” 

“This is unlike you,” Ada told her.

“These are desperate times,” she replied. They were indeed, Ada thought. 

“I can find him,” Ada said, “It might take some time, but I’ll find him.”

Ada sat cross-legged on the floor, trying to clear her mind of her feelings and search for him. He was trying to block himself off from her; she could feel him trying to repel the Force. Ada growled and pushed her way in. Her surroundings had shifted and - 

She was on his ship. All of his Knights were nearby. She saw the heading in his nav display. _He’s going after Rey._

His head turned toward her and she pulled back before he could fully sense her presence.

“He’s going to Pasaana,” she said to Krindi. She nodded and turned to the console and began firing up the ship. Then she radioed Qip and told him if he had any fighters on hand, that they needed to be ready. The storm was coming. 

As they left Onderon, Krindi also sent a message to any remaining Arkanians and Isobians that their help would be needed soon and they should prepare themselves for the worst, if they could.

Ada meditated for the remainder of the journey to Pasaana, focusing on keeping Kylo and his Knights on her mind’s radar. She’d tell Krindi to readjust her coordinates every now and then until she could feel his presence, faint though it was.

“He’s near,” Ada told her.

“Look,” Krindi pointed to several black specks on the horizon. She drew closer and she saw Ren’s ship; the Knights had taken their own vessels as well. 

“Fire at will,” she told Krindi as she hopped into the co-pilot seat. The Chalice was manning the turrets. They opened fire on their ships, hoping to destroy them, but at the very least bring them down for an emergency landing. 

The ships scrambled, trying to evade their laser blasts. Krindi and Ada lit up the sky but they would soon be overrun. They managed to destroy one of the Knights’ ships and damage another; Ada doubted either of their pilots were dead.

 _What do you think you’re doing?_ Ren’s voice crept into her mind. Ah, there he was, at long last. 

“Keep firing,” she told Krindi, “I have him now.”

_You’re going to answer for your lies._

_Is that what you think?_ He replied silkily. 

_It’s what I know._

Ada stood and donned the Chalice, then entered Biggie’s cockpit. 

“Krindi, once we land, get the hell out of here. I’ve seen Ren use the Force to destroy a ship in midair, and I can’t let that happen again.”

“Roger that!” she shouted back.

“Ready for Titanfall?” Big Daddy asked.

“Ready, big guy.” And they plummeted from the sky.

Big Daddy landed on the ground and a tremendous rumble shook the earth.

 _I’m waiting for you_ , she told Ren. Ada spotted two of his Knights; the ones they had shot out of the sky.

“Let’s neutralize those targets,” she told Big Daddy.

“Affirmative,” he responded. She launched a volley of explosives on the two Knights as they neared. Ada switched to his chain gun and she watched the Knights try to figure out how to take the massive mech down.

One of them ran forward in an attempt to swing his vibro-mace at one of Big Daddy’s legs. Ada kicked him out of the way and fired on them again. The two Knights were quick and rolled away from her shots. 

She switched to a flame thrower and laid down a wall of fire to keep them at a distance while Biggie launched concussives at them. A grenade managed to knock one of the Knights off his feet. They regrouped quickly, though, and formed a new strategy.

The Knights were Force sensitive and Ada felt Big Daddy lock into place, his hull groaning under the combined pressure of the two Knights’ Force hold. One of them moved forward, his massive mace held high as the other tried to hold the mech still. 

Ada broke through his Force hold just as the other Knight slammed his mace into Big Daddy’s leg. The mech stumbled and righted himself. Although the blow from the mace hadn’t done irreparable damage, it was still a significant source of concern for Ada.

“Biggie, I’m going to have to hop out. Keep their asses lit up!” she said as she jumped up and out of the cockpit, landing in a combat roll to face her assailants. They converged on her immediately, recognizing that the mech wouldn’t fire on them so close to its ally. 

Ada pulled out a vibro-blade of her own, digging her heels in as she battled the Knights hand-to-hand. Her reflexes were quick, enhanced as they were, and she caught one of them across the chest with the end of her staff. She didn’t think it did any real damage considering the density of his armor, but it made him pause before his next attack.

With Big Daddy stomping around them, firing shots when he could, Ada held them off pretty well until -

“More enemies incoming,” Biggie informed her. 

“Take them out; I’ll handle these two.” She caught one of them on the face with a backswing, recovering in time to block an attack from the other Knight. 

_A scythe. Vicrul._ The Knight she had laid out was trying to right himself, a little stunned from the blow to his helmet. 

She threw Vicrul off of her with a grunt and brought her vibro blade down on his shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Big Daddy was hurled through the air.

 _He’s here._ The three of them had stopped fighting momentarily and watched the other five Knights crest a low, sandy hill.

“It’s about time,” Ada yelled, kicking Vicrul in the ribs as he tried to crawl away. “I was getting bored with these two.”

Kylo Ren stood still and watched the other four Knights move in on her. _Coward_ , she thought.

She readied herself for an attack just as Big Daddy dashed in, scattering them all amongst the sand, turning and aiming at Kylo. Big Daddy fired; Kylo held the shot in midair and pushed it back toward Big Daddy, who was frozen in place by Ren’s Force hold. He was designed to fight mechs and Stormtrooopers, not a group of Force users.

Ada fired several shots as she ran at him full speed, reaching back for her saber when the explosion hit and she was knocked to the side. The Chalice’s viewfinder glitched for a second and then informed her that Big Daddy was now offline.

“Shit,” she hissed, getting to her feet. Although the Knights, too, had been hit by the blast, it didn’t look like it had dealt any significant damage to them either. 

One of the Knights grabbed her with a Force pull, which she wriggled out of in mid-air, slamming to the ground behind them and removing her lightsaber.

She held it in two hands and waited for one of them to make their move. It was Ap’lek, of course, ever-predictable. 

His vibro-axe was able to withstand a lightsaber’s blade, but his armor was slightly less durable. They took turns running at her, trying to find a way to get in. 

Ada slid her shoto-saber out of the main hilt and ignited it as she took a step back. They paused, looking a little less eager to kill her as she twirled the smaller blade in her hand, ready for them.

She could tell they were tiring. Even though the other two had rejoined the fray, none of their hits were landing. Ada used her boosters to dance around them while they swung their heavy weapons at her wildly. 

Finally, Ada Force-stomped the ground and tossed them all away from her as she turned to face Kylo Ren. He’d fixed his mask, she noticed, the fractures cemented some kind of red substance.

“How long are you going to stand there and let your friends do your dirty work?” she shouted to him. 

One of the Knights fired several shots at her from his position on the ground. 

Ada ducked the first few, but took one in the chest, which her Chalice absorbed beautifully. She paused a moment and looked at her armor then back at the Knight, who held his gun aloft for a second, seeming unable to comprehend that his blasterfire had just disappeared into her suit.

Panicking, he fired again and again, hitting Ada as she advanced on him, igniting her saber and slicing his gun in half, nearly taking off his hand. 

The Knight lay on his back panting as she held the saber in his face, dragging its tip along his mask, drawing the letter A. She extinguished it, and turned back to Ren who had started walking toward her.

His Knights began to rise but he held up a hand, calling them off. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Ren asked.

“You,” she snarled, “You told me you’d kill him.”

“He made me a better offer,” he said.

“LIAR!” she bellowed, using the Force to send him flying. She leapt and landed in front of him. There was no hesitation for her now. She was going to kill him, like she should have done so long ago. 

She ignited her saber again, its white light bright against the hot sun, and brought it down toward his mask with every intent to watch Ren die.

He blocked her attack with his saber at the last second, having given her the benefit of the doubt that she’d change her mind.

 _Strong but slow_ , she remembered as she whirled her lightsaber in a flurry two-handed attacks. She managed to just graze his thigh, leaving a smoldering tear in his pant leg.

He smacked her saber away. “Ada!” he growled. He pushed a memory into her head; one he’d had with Palpatine when he’d found him. 

He had intended to kill him. But,

_But_

Palpatine, the mastermind, every voice he ever heard inside his head. Had Palpatine been responsible for their connection as well? 

The Emperor made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. She watched in horror as hundreds, thousands of ships rose out of the waters of Exegol, star destroyers with enough firepower to obliterate entire systems…

“Kill the girl,” Palpatine had told him, “She’s not who you think she is.”

Then who is she? What is she? Ada shook her head, ridding herself of more of his lies. One thing she knew for sure: Kylo Ren couldn’t be allowed to sink his claws into Rey. Because he wasn’t going to kill her, he was going to turn her. And that could not be allowed to happen. Ada hoped she was buying her some time.

“How do you know Rey is the girl he was talking about?” she asked, more to keep him distracted than anything else.

“What do you mean?” Ren said, countering her movements. 

“How do you know he was referring to Rey? He never called her by her name,” she told him. He hadn’t considered it, she knew it.

Ada lunged at him, catching him off-guard but he managed to draw his saber across his chest and repel her attack. Ren tried to throw her off, but she pushed back, their sabers crackling against one another’s energy. She dug her heels in and heaved with all her strength, pushing up with her saber so his arms lifted overhead.

Ada dropped to one knee and swung. She would have cut him right through the middle had he not spun away so her strike only grazed his side. 

She felt his anger, his frustration and he slammed into her with a series of hammering blows, each one more vicious than the last.

“You?” he seethed under his mask, “What would possibly make you think he was talking about _you_?”

She thrust her saber forward and Ren leaned back, avoiding it, before slamming his saber into hers and pinning it to the ground. Her saber roared as he drove it into the sand.

“Unless,” his voice garbled through that mask, “Palpatine knows something about you that I don’t.” Ada threw an elbow into his mask, causing him to stagger back, releasing her saber.

Ada held Ren in a fierce Force hold, squeezing him so hard she envisioned his armor denting and popping under her pressure. 

“Maybe he does,” she said. The wind was knocked out of her as Ren used a push, sending her tumbling backward. Ada flipped over, using her back leg to stop her slide. He was running at her, his hulking frame barreling down on her. 

Ren ignited his saber once more, jumping up and preparing to slam down on her but she rolled out of the way and, using her signature move, kicked his legs out from under him.

She scrambled on top of him, slamming him back to the ground when he tried to overturn her. Ada's fingers found the latches on his helmet and she ripped it off and threw it to the side, punching him in the face as his hands tried to find purchase on her suit.

She slapped his hands away and threw a handful of sand in his face. Ren yelled as some of the sand got in his eyes and Ada grabbed a fistful of his hair. “The Emperor wasn’t the one who brought us together, that connected us long ago; you know that!” she roared at him. 

Ada knew Palpatine’s lies and deception had seeded doubt about their own connection in Ren’s mind. But Ada also knew it wasn’t a corruption, a lie - it was a bond forged in Light. Which made it all the more painful when he abused it.

“This is the last time you use my feelings against me,” she growled, sticking her hand out for her saber.

It flew into her hand and she ignited it, ready to plunge it into him with all the force of her anger behind it, when she felt like she got kicked in the gut. The feeling caught her so off-guard that she hesitated, just a moment, and he threw her off of him. 

“Do you hate me, Ada?” Ren pressed her, wiping grit from his eyes. “Do you hate me enough to strike me down in your anger?” He was thrilled by the idea. “You could do it,” he said, not containing his excitement, “I know you could do it.”

Ada recovered a bit from the sensation and she turned in time to counter Ren’s strike, his eyes red rage. She had to use two hands to hold off his attacks as he lashed at her.

“No!” she screamed at him, her cry ripping at her throat, “I don’t hate you. I can’t. And you know it. And you use me over and over and over again!” Ada slashed upwards with her saber, knocking him backward. 

Another knife through her belly. Flashes of white at the edges of her vision as the pain almost immobilized her. One of his strikes landed true and hit her shoulder. The suit absorbed the impact, however, giving her the opportunity to scramble to her feet and put some distance between them. Ren’s saber was sputtering from striking the cortosis weave in her suit and he smacked the hilt against the palm of his hand, reigniting it.

She was doubled over, holding her abdomen, gasping for air. Ren was advancing on her, his Knights waiting in the wings for their chance in the lion’s den. 

Ada tried to stand upright, but every time she moved the pain shot through her, inflaming her nerves. 

_What is this?_ she asked. 

“Navigator,” Chalice informed her, “we need to retreat; you’re losing quite a bit of blood.”

“How?” she gasped, “I haven’t been hit,” she said as she limped away from Ren. She had heard him say something to his Knights and they started turning away, back toward their ships. He’d put his helmet on again.

“I’m not finished with you yet!” she screamed at him. 

Ren strode back to her and she retracted her visor; the air inside the helmet felt humid, cloying. He put a hand around her throat and picked her up off the ground. 

She laughed, panting. “He wants you to do it… He wants you to kill me.”

“Yes,” he sneered. 

“I thought you didn’t have a master anymore,” Ada rasped, “Will you do what he tells you, or will you do what you know is right?”

She could hear him breathing beneath the helmet. His hand tightened around her throat before he let out an agonizing roar of resentment and threw her to the side. 

Ada pushed herself onto her knees as Ren stood over her. He had activated his saber. 

“Do what you want,” she gasped, trying to get air into her lungs again. He stood in front of her, grappling with his decision. 

_He didn’t want to lose her_. His unrestrained emotion washed over her; she almost reached out to him. He’d made his choice in that moment - did he know it?

Then he turned, resolutely, and walked away toward his Knights and his ships.

“I guess you have your answer to whether or not you’d kill me!” she shouted at his retreating form. “You don’t want to do this, you know you don’t!”

Ren looked back at her for a moment as she heaved from another wave of pain. He knew something wasn’t right. She hadn’t been hit; there was no reason she should back down now. 

He knew she hadn’t recovered from whatever happened to her on Mustafar; her face looked sunken, cheekbones more pronounced against the hollows of her cheeks, her skin a sickly shade. 

Even so, she’d fended off his Knights and nearly had him cornered. She was so strong, and this was the closest she’d ever been to embracing the darkness within her. He could practically see it shifting beneath her skin... She had wanted to kill him; he’d felt her rage, but something had pulled her back from the edge. 

He almost went to her, almost. He thought about what could happen if he picked her up and boarded her ship and they lived out the rest of their days on some remote planet in the Outer Rim. He thought about what it meant that he wanted, in that moment, to abandon everything he’d fought for if it meant he could stay with her.

But that wasn’t the life that was meant for a man like Kylo Ren. That wasn’t the life he deserved.

He had to find the girl. And so he walked away. 

Ada collapsed to the ground and rolled onto her back. “Krindi,” she called via her HUD, “I need evac… and possibly a med pack.”

###

Krindi arrived in the dropzone. Thankfully, Big Daddy was still functional enough to pull himself into the ship as Krindi helped Ada limp onboard.

“Were you shot?” Krindi asked, a little frantic as Ada disengaged the Chalice and took off the breastplate.

Ada touched her thigh; it was soaked in blood. “Krindi,” Ada said nonchalantly, holding up her bloody hand, “I think I’m going to pass out.” 

Ada woke up some time later in a bacta tank, which she hoped wasn’t becoming a recurring theme in her life. She felt the respirator covering her mouth and nose and tapped on the tank. 

She thought she saw Krindi’s form move closer, but it was hard to see through the liquid. Slowly, the tank drained and she pulled the respirator off once the liquid was below her face. 

Once completely drained, the door swung open and Ada stepped out, removing various tubes and wires. Her legs felt a bit shaky and she stumbled, Krindi catching her beneath the arm and leading her over to a bench. 

“What happened, Krindi?” Ada asked groggily. 

“Um, well, from what I could tell you put up a very good fight against seven Knights of Ren,” Krindi politely informed her, skirting the subject.

“Why was I bleeding?” Ada asked, turning toward her.

“Ada, did you know that you’re pregnant? Almost two months, now.” Krindi sighed.

_Two months?_

“Two months?” she asked, confused. How had she not noticed for two months?

“Wait -” Ada started. “Am I still?” 

Krindi nodded, “It was a close call,” she said, “Perhaps the vigorous activity of fighting off seven horrendous, monstrous men was… too much.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Ada coming to terms with the fact that her suspicions had been confirmed and had been confirmed for almost two months now. 

“Um, Ada… I just want you to know that, if you choose, you have… options,” Krindi said. 

Ada nodded; she knew what Krindi was alluding to. Ada couldn’t remember a time when she felt so completely spent. She didn’t understand it… she thought, perhaps the darkness she’d felt welling inside her was Ren’s child but… two months. She’d only felt sick, poisoned, since she went to the temple.

The corruption flowing through her veins was Palaptine’s doing, she knew it. The only antidote was acceptance, embracing the Dark side. She would either die from its poison, or else feed it and live to see another day - her and her child. 

“Is it stable? The… fetus?” Ada asked, blinking rapidly. 

“Yes, for now. But Ada, your immune system seems to be fighting something off. Your bloodwork showed low levels of white blood cells which tells me it’s fighting an infection of some kind. That could have something to do with your near-miscarriage, as well,” Krindi informed her.

Ada nodded in agreement, “I haven’t been myself for a few days,” she said as Krindi handed her an enzyme solution to drink.

“Where are we?” she asked Krindi. She knew Kylo had found Rey, but what happened? Ada searched for an answer - 

_Kylo Ren, running her down in his ship; Rey leapt, slicing off its wing. A transport in the sky and - lightning burst from Rey’s fingertips and the transport exploded mid-air._

_“She’s not who you think she is,”_ Palpatine had said. Lightning, Sith powers…

Ada rubbed her face to try to clear her head. How could that possibly be? The girl was strong, but… a Sith?

“Ada, did you hear me?” Krindi asked.

Ren told her she’s a Palpatine - she knows. And she’s angry. Ada raised a hand, asking Krindi to wait.

She found Kylo battling Rey, surrounded by crashing waves. They were dueling atop the remains of a Death Star on a moon of Endor. 

_You couldn’t kill me…_ she’d try to reach him, one last time. _You couldn’t do it. If you can’t kill me then you can’t fully give yourself to the Dark side. You will never win this way; can’t you see that?_

She couldn’t tell if he could hear her, but she kept talking anyway.

_I know why you think you have to do this; I know you. I’ve always known you. This isn’t right. It will only lead to your ruin._

Ada wasn’t sure how she knew, but in that moment she was convinced he would die at the end of this. The knowledge of this fact slammed into her, squeezing her heart. Black despair coursed through her, thick and suffocating.

_“It was always meant to be me.”_

For so long, she thought she was the unwilling sacrifice. But she had outlived death so many times. She had thought, in brief moments of madness, that perhaps she was the one meant to usurp the throne, to lead the galaxy… But she saw, now, that they could never be together - only one of them would survive, like it had been foretold a long time ago.

He would die so she could live. 

And something, a quiet voice, held her hand softly and told her that it would be okay; this was the way it had to be. The only way to get him back.

_Leia?_

“Redeemed only in death,” she said aloud, turning her focus back to him. Biggie called out to her, pulling her out of her reverie momentarily. Ada walked over to him and sat down in front of his crumpled chassis. He opened a gigantic, metal hand.

A flower, brittle and dry. She traced its delicate petals once more… It was the one she brought back from her dream - _a world between worlds._

 _I know you see the path ahead of you, and I know you’re scared_ , Ada reached out once more, _I’ll be with you the whole way. I will always be with you. Don’t be afraid…_

Ada lost the connection and sat back on the bench; the feeling of dread welling up in her. Tears spilled over the brim of her eyes as she struggled to keep her emotions at bay.

“Where is the Resistance fleet? We need to meet up with them, now. Rally our allies to arms,” Ada said, wiping her eyes and trying to keep her voice level. “It’s close now.”

Krindi kept scanning for a strong signal from the Resistance. “I’m keeping them informed of our position. We’ll be ready when they call.”

“We’ve run out of time,” Ada whispered. It was too late and they were out of options. She couldn’t count on Ren to come to terms with the choice he made on Pasaana; she’d been foolish too many times to put her faith in him once more, no matter how much she wished she could be right. She’d hoped for his atonement for too long and had been disappointed time and again.

She had felt how close he was to killing her before he fought back. Too close. But still, he had chosen her life over his. Fate, the Force, hadn’t wanted Kylo Ren to die in that moment.

_Wait._

She’d felt it. A shimmer, a ripple in the Force. 

_“Ben…”_

Leia found him. Ren faltered and Rey ran him through with his own lightsaber. 

_“I did want to take your hand; Ben’s hand.”_

_“Come home.”_

Han Solo’s words echoed in her head - _come home_. Ada felt Ren's world shift, realigning itself to a new guiding star. 

Could it possibly be? She’d nearly convinced herself he was beyond saving. All the agony of trying to reach him, coaxing the last of the Light within him, feeding the bond that existed between them. Something so pure. 

Ada concentrated on his surroundings. She watched him as he skidded into the hallway on the Death Star, a new resolve fueling him onward. 

“Ben,” she called. He stopped in his tracks. Part of her couldn’t really believe what she felt, but it was Ben Solo’s Force signature she recognized.

“Ada…” he smiled. Her face crumpled as she felt him, truly felt him, for the first time in years. She’d given everything she had and then some to pull him back from the brink, and she knew she’d lose him all over again. Grief gripped her heart and she fought to say what she needed to.

Their connection was still so strong, like they were really there, together. His eyes searched hers for forgiveness, compassion, understanding. Ada shook her head. “Ben, I…” she started, not knowing how to tell him. But she had to. It had to be now. 

“I know you’re strong enough to do the right thing. You’re strong enough to come home,” her voice broke on the last two words and she took a shuddering breath before continuing.

“Come back to me,” her thumb stroked his cheek as she placed his hand on her abdomen, “Come back to us.” 

He searched her face for something, not quite believing what she was saying. But he felt the life that stirred within her, a radiant point of light, a new hope. 

Then he smiled - a real smile; the one that lit her whole heart aflame. She wanted to beg him to leave, to run away from what he had to do if it meant she could keep him for a few moments longer.

Ben hugged her tightly. “I love you, Ada. I always have.” The waves of his guilt and regret threatened to drown them both. “But I have to make this right. It has to be me,” he told her, tears or water streaking his face and dripping off his jaw.

She pulled away from him, tears rolling down her face and she smiled. “I know,” she whispered. Ada had to let him go. She had to let him answer the call of the Light. It was the only way, now.

Ada pulled his face to hers and kissed him like it was the last time. “I love you. You can do this,” she told him.

“You’ll be with me?” Ben asked, voice trembling, holding her hands in his.

“Always.” And then she was gone. Ada had pressed something into his hand. He opened his fingers revealing a delicate flower; its petals no longer dry and brown, but lush and full of life. 

###

“Ada!” Krindi was screaming at her, “Listen!”

Ada ran to her as a broadcast came through: “The Resistance is dead. The Sith flame will burn. All worlds, surrender or die. The Final Order begins.”

“The beginning of the end,” Ada said, darkly.

“Wait!” Krindi shouted, “We’re receiving another transmission… with the map to Exegol. It’s an emergency transmission from the Resistance, calling in all fleets.”

“Have we heard back from any allies in the core systems? Or anywhere, for that matter?” Ada asked. She hoped the allies she and Krindi had made would come through.

Krindi hesitated. “Not yet, but they might need just a little more time.” _Ever the optimist, Krindi…_ Ada thought tersely when yet another transmission came through.

“This is Lando Calrissian of the Millenium Falcon,” the man said, “I’m calling on all core-world Resistance allies to move any ready fleets to the fronts on Exegol. Friends, if ever there was a time to fight, it’s now. The galaxy needs you.”

“ _Lando Calrissian_?” Ada said, amazed. Where the hell had he been hiding this whole time?

Ada hopped on the comms, “Calrissian, this is Zahn of _Chariot_. We’ve received your transmission and can confirm we will meet you at Exegol. Estimated arrival time: 20 minutes.”

“Copy that, Zahn,” Calrissian said, “I’ll see you in the skies.” 

“Chart a path to Exegol,” Ada told her.

“Ada, are you sure?” Krindi asked. The likelihood of them living to see the light of day again was slim. Ada nodded. 

“Now or never,” she said.


	34. Chapter 34

Krindi pulled their ship out of hyperspace into a full-blown battle. Other members of the Resistance had gotten there before they had and were peppering the massive star destroyers, trying to take out the underbelly cannons.

“Sweet Kala,” Ada said, “there’s thousands of them. They could obliterate the entire galaxy, one planet at a time if they wanted.”

They were surrounded by thousands of other ships of all makes and models

“Allies.” Krindi said, turning to Ada smiling widely and they watched as more and more ships joined them at the frontlines. 

A few of their friends from Corellia and Onderon hailed them through the comms, including Det and Qip. It looked like they brought quite a few friends of their own.

“Did you think we’d be the only ones here?” Ada chided. 

Krindi gave a little shrug, “Maybe.” 

They awaited their orders to move forward, then Krindi flew them head first into battle. Ada was monitoring the thrusters and boosters, as well as making sure the turrets remained functional as the Chalice blasted the smaller enemy ships apart.

“Aim for those big cannons!” Ada shouted over her shoulder.

“Yes, Navigator,” the Chalice replied, switching targets and attempting to damage the massive cannon. They hammered it with shots from their turrets and cannons as they made several passes below it. The belly of the star destroyer ignited and the explosion cascaded through its hull.

“Hell yes!” Ada shouted and Krindi whooped.

Krindi wound their ship through the onslaught of enemy fighters, throwing them into barrel rolls to avoid getting hit. They were surrounded by TIEs and Ada diverted more energy to their shields.

“We’re getting a little cooked out here, Krindi!”

“I know, I know!” she said as she pulled them up into a vertical climb, flipped them back over so they were staring directly at the TIE that had been chasing them. Ada fired and it exploded just as they flew through the debris. 

Ada felt a lurch in the Force --

“Something’s wrong,” she said. 

“Is it our shields? I can try to rig a bypass,” Krindi said.

“No it’s not the ship, it’s --”

 _Something unexpected_. She felt the rumbling of a great tide of power being drawn, like a super weapon being charged. 

“We need to retreat,” Ada said.

“What are you talking about? We’re in the middle of battle; we can’t just --” Krindi argued.

“We need to get out of here, now!” Ada shouted, “Tell them all we have to retreat or we’ll die!”

Something was coming. Not just death, but something worse.

 _“Look what you have made…”_ The Emperor had risen.

“Oh, no,” Ada said, scanning the surface below, as if she could see more clearly what was happening if she could just witness it with her eyes.

“Ada, what--” There was a violent shrieking sound, like the very atoms around them were being torn apart. Ada felt the sheer energy of the Force that Palpatine summoned in her bones. For a few seconds, silence, and then --

Lightning rose from the Sith temple rending the air apart and striking their ships. Electricity arced across the dash, causing it to smoke and spark. Their systems failed and they plummeted toward the surface. 

Krindi was frantically trying to reboot the system while the dash sparked and fingers of electricity coursed through the console. Ada looked back and saw that the Chalice had been overloaded as well.

Ada watched in horror as the entire Resistance fleet - thousands of ships - fell through the sky, dead in the air.

“Ada,” Krindi cried; she knew this was it. Ada grabbed her hand and held it tight.

Then, another jolt in the Force. Someone was alive down there, in the temple. And she was calling out for help. “Be with me,” the girl asked.

 _Rey_ , Ada looked to the stars as their ship spun and they plunged bow-first toward Exegol. _I’m with you. Rise._

“She’s alive,” Ada said. 

_Rise, Rey. You can do it._

Then, like a miracle, the lightning ceased.

“We’re back online!” Krindi yelled as she started frantically hitting buttons and switches. Ada toggled the controls and fired the engines up. 

Their freefall slowed and Krindi accelerated, uprighting them once more. 

Ada’s vision flickered back and forth between the monster below and the battle above, her consciousness fighting to be in two places at once. 

_This is something new_ , she thought. The Force surged and pulled her back into the showdown in the temple as she crossed two lightsabers in front of her and braced against the Emperor’s lightning strikes as she took a step closer. 

_But it isn’t me_ , Ada thought, _How am I seeing this?_

Ada felt a surge of the Force - she was so near him now, she could see Palpatine’s eyes glowing like coals. This was worse than any of her nightmarish visions.

Ada gathered her strength and unleashed the power of the Light, of the Jedi; she could hear their voices, like she’d heard them in her dream, in the world between worlds. The current redirected itself back to Palpatine, singeing his pallid skin, great chunks of flesh flaking away as he roasted alive. 

_I hope it hurts, you bastard._

One more burst and the Emperor was vaporized. Lightning struck the temple and the ground trembled, the ceiling crumbled, massive stones falling on the collective Sith empire. 

Ada snapped back to her own body aboard the ship with Krindi, who had started making passes to destroy the Sith fleet.

Rey had done it, but her light was fading. Ada closed her eyes and searched for him. 

_I know you’re there. You’re strong. Rise, and do what’s right. Fulfill your destiny, Ben._

Bombers were attacking the destroyers and the Resistance had started planning their exit. People were scrambling, not fully comprehending that they had done it. They had won. 

_It’s over. Save her_ , she told him as he crawled his way out of an abysmal hole. Ada cried silently as she looked through their ship’s windshield, not really seeing the explosions and chaos in front of her, but instead the ruined crypt far below her.

 _You’ll be with me?_ She heard him ask. He was cradling Rey in his arms.

 _“I will always be with you,”_ she said. Krindi looked over at her. Ben could heal her; she’d taught him how. Ada blinked back tears and as she reached --

_she touched his hand. She was there with him, like she promised she would be. She sat up, holding him upright; she could feel him fading, having given her what was left of his lifeforce._

_She smiled, “Ben.”_

_Ada touched her hand to his face as his eyes searched hers. He would miss her._

_“We’ll be okay,” she thought. And she kissed him one last time._

_Ben smiled at her, her favorite one that lit his face and made his eyes crinkle in the corners, and he felt_

_peace, relief,_

_happiness_

_She cried as he let go, she watched his light fade, then flicker, and then_

_gone._

_Her flower lay in his hand, pristine and soft, and she watched as it shriveled, the edges of its petals turning brown and curling in on themselves. She watched as it and Ben faded from this life, into the next._

_She sent him one last message as he went, “You belong among the stars.”_

Ada was back in the ship, in her own body once more; a tragic sob ripped through her. She heard herself howl in despair. 

Ben was gone. He couldn’t come back to her. Krindi reached for Ada; she was still trying to pilot a ship while comforting her inconsolable friend.

“Ada, I’m sorry - I’m so sorry,” Krindi’s voice trembled. 

She felt his absence like a hole in her heart - like a part of her was missing and she’d never be whole again.

It hurt, this loss; it was physically painful, agonizing.

Ada took several gasping breaths between sobs, her entire body shaking with each one, so powerful that no sound could escape. 

After a while she looked out and watched as the Final Order destroyers crashed into the surface of Exegol. She heard chatter on the comms:

“Rey’s alive!”

“We did it!”

“People are rising up all over the galaxy!”

“Oh, sure now they’re rising up,” Krindi said sardonically.

Krindi reached over and held Ada’s hand, looking at her sadly. 

“We’re going to be okay,” Ada said. 

“Yes, we are,” Krindi squeezed Ada’s hand.

Krindi turned their ship back toward the rest of the Resistance fleet and prepared to make the jump to lightspeed.


	35. Chapter 35

They landed with the rest on Endor. She and Krindi disembarked as all around them, celebration was happening. Indeed, it was a hell of a time to celebrate. 

People she had never met were hugging her, clapping them on the back, shaking their hands. Like they’d always known one another. 

Ada was taken aback when Lando Calrissian walked up to her and shook her hand. “Good flying out there today, pilot…?”

“Zahn, sir. And all the credit goes to Krindi Iro here. She’s the real pilot between the two of us,” Ada replied. 

“Ahh, Zahn!” Carlissian said affably, “And Iro. A pleasure to meet you both. Say, you two earned yourselves quite a reputation in the core worlds, recruiting folks to the cause. I hear you’re basically a two-woman army.” He looked around conspiratorially, then said, “I might have some work for you when things calm down a bit, if you’re interested. But it’s - strictly speaking - a little less than legal.”

Ada looked at Krindi, who grinned mischievously, and Ada said, “Well, strictly speaking, it’s not illegal if there isn’t a governing power to enforce it.”

Lando tipped his head back and laughed hugely. “And even so, it’s only illegal if you get caught.” He gave them a rogue wink and shook their hands.

“You know how to find us,” Ada told him.

“I’ll be in touch,” he said, tapping the brim of his hat and nodding before he walked away.

“Quite the charmer, that one,” Krindi smiled.

“I’ve heard stories about Lando Calrissian that would curl your hair,” Ada said. The party was still going strong and Ada stepped inside one of the hangars to catch her breath. 

She didn’t think she’d ever stop grieving Ben’s death; it was still so fresh, but she felt it was one of those stubborn wounds that just wouldn’t heal with time. They hadn’t always been good to each other, or good for one another, but they had loved each other. And she knew a love like that was one-of-a-kind. 

Ada missed him. At some point she’d have to stop fighting back the tears that kept wanting to spill from her eyes. 

She looked up and saw the three of them - Finn, Rey, and Po - hugging each other in the middle of the crowd. She felt happy for them and more than a little sad for herself.

Ada waited until Finn was relatively alone before she wandered over, tapping him on the shoulder. 

“Congratulations, General,” she told him. 

He turned away from the small crowd and smiled widely at her, “Couldn’t have done it without --” he stopped, and looked at her, like he was seeing something clearly for the first time. 

“-- you,” he finished, not understanding at all where his confusion was stemming from.

“I’m - I’m sorry,” he stammered, “I feel like I know you, somehow. I just can’t place it.”

“Well,” Ada said, “perhaps you do. How much time do you have?” she smiled. 

“All the time in the world,” Finn said. Ada smiled at him and threw an arm over his shoulders as she led him back toward Krindi.

“Good,” Ada said, “because there’s quite a bit we need to catch up on.”

###  
Five years later

“No, no, no!” Ada shouted into the comm, “I cannot drop my payload in the middle of nowhere!” she told Bozda Bodega, her current ‘employer’. 

Her payload struggled in the corner of their ship against his restraints. Krindi kicked him in the shin and he howled. 

“I thought you wanted him alive,” Ada said, rolling her eyes at Krindi who shook her head. 

“Well, either way, Boz, you’re paying full price, dead or alive. So make up your mind.” She turned the comms off and growled. 

“Navigator,” the Chalice chimed, “we are being pursued by Intergalactic patrols. Shall I employ evasive maneuvers?”

“You know the drill buddy,” Ada told him. The Chalice was a pro at lightspeed hopping; none of the law enforcement units in the galaxy could keep up with him.

Ada considered what to do with her bounty now that her ‘employer’s’ place of business had been raided. Ada wanted to say it wasn’t her problem, but they’d arrest her in a heartbeat if she got caught. 

Civilization post-war had become a bit rocky with the fledgling New Republic still forming and passing new laws left and right; law enforcement was inconsistent, depending on the system, and most planets had their own methods of enforcing their law, if they had any laws to begin with. Ada preferred the planets with fewer… morals.

Kessel happened to be one such planet, usually. Until Boz decided to draw attention to her little underground operation of pilfering coaxium.

Ada sighed, “What are we gonna do with you, desperado?” The man struggled against his bindings, whatever he was trying to say was muffled by the sock Krindi had stuffed in his mouth and taped over. 

“You said he got a mouth on him?” she asked, looking over her shoulder. 

“Yes, he certainly does,” Krindi replied.

“Hmm,” she said and ripped the tape off his mouth. The man winced and spat the sock out.

“I can pay you double what Boz offered you for my head!” he shouted. 

“I have two fully functioning ears; you don’t have to shout,” Ada told him. 

“Right, well… I’ll get you the money, I swear it.”

“Mmm, okay, let me do that math. You’re going to pay me, oh, 40,000 credits if I let you go?”

“No credits, but what I have is priceless,” he whispered, his eyes shining. Ada rolled her eyes. She’d lost count of all the empty promises her payloads had made when it came to bargaining for their lives.

“How about you lay off the spice, okay friend?” ask said, stuffing the sock back in his mouth despite his fervent protests.

“Mmn in muh pohmket!” he said. “Mmhmmph!”

“What’s in your pocket?” Ada pulled the sock out again so he spoke freely.

“The map. The map is in my pocket. Look!” he told her, eyeing one of the side pockets on his pants. Ada flipped the pocket flap up with her finger and peaked inside. 

Something gold glinted at her from its depths. She reached in and took it out.

It was one hell of a contraption - it looked like a series of gears that would move little figures around in a predesigned pattern. It made no sense to her, but it was intriguing. 

“What the hell is this?” she asked, “A map, you said? This doesn’t look like any map I’ve ever seen.” Ada thought she’d really had enough of maps to places she shouldn’t go.

“I swear that’s what it is. The right people would pay the right price for that little gadget,” he said confidentially. 

“You stole this from Boz, didn’t you? That’s why she wants your head on pike.”

“Boz is a back-stabbing low-life who profits from slavery. She’s the last person who should get her hands on that thing.”

“But you think we’re capable of handling that responsibility, do you?”

“Better than Boz,” he said. Ada looked at him, eyes narrowed. She didn’t sense deception; at least he believed _he_ was telling the truth. 

“Krindi,” Ada said over her shoulder, “Can you come take a look at this?”

Krindi popped up next to her and examined the strange compass. 

“It could be a map - see how these little stars align? It might be a map to a specific system. But which one?” Krindi said, holding it aloft.

“Which one?” Ada asked, “And if you tell me you don’t know, I’m dropping your carcass on Boz’s doorstep.”

The smuggler shook his head. “No, this map doesn’t lead to any planet or system. It leads somewhere else.”

“I’m losing my patience, thief,” Ada said harshly.

“It leads to Mortis, the realm of _the Force_. It exists outside of space and time,” he told her. 

Ada kept her gaze steady. She’d heard of Mortis, the supposed fulcrum of the Force. Luke talked about it briefly during her Jedi training and it was mentioned in the ancient Jedi texts, but only to serve as a word of caution. Force wielders never found it on their own; it pulled beings in on its own accord.

 _A world between worlds._ She’d seen something like it before, once.

Ada sucked on her teeth and told the Chalice, “Steady on to Kessel.”

“What? No! No, I’m telling you the truth,” the smuggler protested.

“Hey,” she said softly crouching down to his level, “I know you think you’re telling the honest truth, but I’ve already heard of Mortis and it’s not a place you find. It’s a place that finds you. This,” she said, pointing to the gadget in Krindi’s hands, “is a pile of bantha fodder.”

“Ada --” Krindi started. 

“Listen, _lady_ , you don’t know what you’re talking about. Boz stole that from a guy, who won it off another guy, who borrowed it from a friend, who pilfered it from a _Jedi_.” He said the last word with a kind of quiet reverence.

“You don’t say?” Ada widened her eyes dramatically. “Well, if you say a friend of a friend of a friend of guy somewhere in the galaxy got this from a Jedi, then I guess I’ll have to believe you.” Sarcasm, her bread and butter.

“Ada,” Krindi nudged her.

“Look at the writing on it!” the smuggler shouted.

“What writing --” Ada began as Krindi shoved it under her nose. 

“I’ve never seen writing like this anywhere. Can you recognize it?” At first, Ada thought it might have been Sith, but she scanned it with her HUD which told her it was --

“Coremaic,” Ada said, disbelief seeping into her voice, “the ancient language of the Jedi…” 

She looked at Krindi who asked, “Can you read it?”

Ada shook her head. “No, it’s a lost language and indecipherable.” But it was Coremaic. Which was, in all honesty, completely shocking to her. 

The last time she’d seen it written was in those tomes Luke kept, which, as far as she knew, had subsequently burned down with the last Jedi temple. She knew the texts described a “world between worlds”. She assumed Mortis was the place the Ancients had described, the one she had visited in her dream.

 _The world between worlds_ … she wondered what or who she might find there.

Just then a buzzer squawked a warning that they were being tailed.

Ada took the compass from Krindi and tossed it to Big Daddy. “Keep that safe, buddy,” she told him. Big Daddy stowed it in one of his many secret compartments.

“Hey!” the smuggler cried. 

“And you,” she pointed to him, “keep quiet.” She said as she put the sock back in his mouth and shoved him into a supply closet. 

“Krindi, what’s the status?” 

“They’re preparing to board us,” she said.

“Alright, everyone, remain calm and we’ll talk our way out of this, like always,” Ada said.

“But you always end up shooting someone,” Krindi replied, “or punching them, or --”

“It’ll be different this time,” Ada said tersely. 

###

It mostly certainly hadn’t been different this time. They were near Hutt territory and thus, had captured the attention of one of their roving bands of gangs. All they were really looking to do was rob them blind, for which Ada and Krindi were wholly prepared, but then their captive threw himself against the door and rolled onto the floor, thinking he was going to make his big escape.

He looked up at the Hutt gangsters and knew he had made a mistake. They immediately burst into a frenzy drawing their weapons, upsetting Big Daddy, who then pulled out a grenade launcher.

“Woah, woah, woah fellas!” Ada cried, placing herself between them and the giant mech. “We don’t draw guns on a ship. Where are your manners?”

One of the gangsters spoke to her in Huttese, which thankfully her HUD translated. She looked at the smuggler, “Seriously? You owe the Hutts money? Oh, mercy,” she groaned.

One of the gangsters growled at her again. “I mean, take him if you want. No skin off my nose,” she told him. Two of the burrlier ones moved forward and grabbed the smuggler under the arms; he looked like he had been betrayed. 

“Hey, I told you I wouldn’t bring you to Boz. The Hutts, on the other hand, were never part of that deal,” Ada said. He shouted something as they marched their prisoner away and left.

“Well, now I feel bad,” Krindi said. 

“It’s just business, Krind,” Ada replied, watching the Hutts depart. “He got himself into his own mess.” Krindi nodded sadly.

“I guess so,” she said.

“I’m gonna be pissed if that pretty little trinket he gave us is just a bunch of timepiece cogs glued together and painted gold,” Ada said, turning back.

“I really don’t think it is. It seems to be a genuine piece. It’s quite an advanced design, if archaic. Once we’re back on Isobe, I can examine it more closely,” Ada replied.

“Well, I guess we won’t have to drop in to Kessel after all,” Ada said.

“Home?” Krindi asked.

Ada nodded, “Home.”

###

Ada stretched as she disembarked the ship. It always felt nice coming back. There was something about this place, aside from it being her home, that felt special - magical, even. She’d returned home after the Resistance victory and slowly recovered from Palpatine’s poison; once he was dead, her body was able to rid itself of its toxins. Ada touched the rancor claw talisman around her neck and felt grateful for all the lessons she’d learned from the Force thus far, especially the difficult ones.

She was watching the sun set behind the mountains when she heard the pattering of little feet running up behind her.

She stayed still so he could launch himself at her legs and pretend he got her. 

“Rawr!” he screamed as he wrapped his little arms around her knee. 

“Hey, kid! It’s been awhile,” she said, picking the boy up and pushing his dark locks out of his face. He needed a haircut, she thought idly. 

“What have you been up to while I’ve been gone, hmm?”

He showed her his toy X-wing and made _whooshing_ sounds as he flew it through the air. 

“Oh yeah? Are you a fighter pilot now? Last week, you wanted to be a Stormtrooper,” she pulled a face and he laughed. It always reminded her of Ben when he laughed…

She smiled at him and kissed the end of his nose. “Let’s go find Aunty,” she said, setting him down. He ran into the kitchen, out of sight.

“Ohhh!” she heard Bema, who he called Aunty, say as she bent down to pick him up and planted kisses on his cheeks. 

_Your boy is so loved, Ben_ , she thought. 

It was still like this for her, sometimes, even years later. When she felt his loss more than usual. 

Ada smiled at Bema and pulled her into a hug. Bema had moved to Isobe from Corellia after the war, having had enough of the big city to last a lifetime. 

She asked Ada how the trip had gone and they talked about it in code-words. Han was too smart for his own good, so they had to be covert.

“Oh!” Bema said, after Ada had finished telling her about being boarded by Hutts, “I almost forgot. Han found this while he was playing. Do you have any idea what it might be?”

She handed Ada her saber hilt. The one… with their initials on the bottom. It felt like a punch to the gut, especially today. She tried to keep her emotions from seeping into her expression as she rubbed dirt out of the inscription. 

“Where -” her voice caught in her throat, “Where did you say he found this?” Ada asked.

“In the tree!” Han said, triumphantly.

“I told you not to climb that tree,” Ada scolded. He was five years old and climbing trees already. She shook her head. 

“The man said I could,” he retorted. Ada looked at Bema, confused. Bema shrugged.

“What man, honey?”

“The man in dark clothes. He shined,” Han told them. Bema moved toward Han and checked his temperature to make sure he didn’t have a fever. 

Ada put her hand over his. “What did he say to you?”

“Mmm,” Han screwed up his eyes as he tried to remember, “he said he’s sorry he can’t be here with me all the time and I asked him why he can’t be here and he said because he’s with the stars.”

“Mmhmm,” Ada looked away and wiped tears from her eyes before they could fall.

“And then he told me to tell you that he misses you and he loves you and he’ll be with you, always,” Han had looked at her. Ada had covered her face with her hands to try to keep the tears from falling, but she couldn’t make them stop.

Her son patted her arm to try to make her feel better. Bema looked at her, a deep sadness spread through her face. 

“So this man, he gave you this?” Ada held up the hilt once she had collected herself a little. 

“Mmhmm,” Han said, “I told him I wanted to climb the tree and you won’t let me so he said that there’s something up there for you and that I had to be the one to get it and bring it to you.”

“Thank you, baby,” Ada cried softly into his dark waves, so much like his father’s.

Ada pushed herself away from the table and ruffled his hair. “I’ll be right back,” she said to Bema.

She walked out to the tree her son had a penchant for climbing. It was one of her favorite places. She felt more connected to - everything - when she stood beneath its expansive branches. 

Ada leaned against the trunk and turned the hilt over in her hands. She reached out through the Force, something she wouldn’t let herself do anymore. It hurt too much when she wouldn’t hear anything back.

“I know you’re there,” she said softly. She waited, worried he wouldn’t come. 

“Ada,” he said. She looked around and saw his face, ghostly blue in the setting sun. 

“Hi,” she said simply. 

“Hi,” he smiled. She held up the saber hilt. 

“Thank you for this,” she said. 

“You’ve been hurting lately,” he said quietly.

She bit her lips and nodded, “Yes,” she gasped, “it’s hard without you.”

He stood next to her, watching the setting sun. “You’re so strong, Ada. He’s lucky to have you as a mother.”

“I miss you,” she choked out the words she’d wanted to say to him for years. “I really, really miss you, Ben.”

He put a hand to her face and rubbed his thumb across. It didn’t do anything to wipe the tears away, but she felt a faint tingling sensation where he touched. 

“How long can you stay?” she asked him.

“Never long enough,” Ben replied. 

“Are you okay, wherever you are?” she asked, looking up at him. A world between worlds… the thought came unbidden to her mind.

He smiled. “Always worrying about me,” he chided her gently. “I’m one with the Force, Ada, and that’s all I could ever hope for.”

She nodded. “You deserve to find happiness,” he said softly, watching her face.

“Nothing has been the same,” she said, “And I can’t seem to get a handle on it. How much my life has changed. How much I wish you were here for… I thought I knew how to let you go, but I was wrong,” she sobbed into her hand. “Every day it just gets harder.”

“I am here, Ada. Just, maybe not the way you wish I was. But I see Han grow bigger almost every day it seems, and I watch you grow a little bit older, too. A little sadder,” he said softly. She wiped the back of her hand across her cheeks.

“I want you to be happy in the world you fought for,” Ben continued, “because what was it all for if you can’t find joy in it? Isn’t that exactly why you fought against the First Order? Because that world would’ve been joyless? You’ve helped make this galaxy a better place for everyone and it’s not fair to yourself if you can’t carve out a little piece of happiness.”

Ada took a deep breath. She did miss him and she wished he was here to see his son grow up. But he was right. She chose this path for a reason; because at the end of the day,

“It was the right thing to do,” they said in unison. She smiled at him. “I love you, Ben.”

“I know,” he said lovingly. “I will always be with you, Ada. Always.”

The sun sank behind the mountains and he was gone. The crickets chirped, the bullfrogs croaked, and there was peace in the galaxy.

“We’ll be okay,” she said as the last Skywalker toddled up to her and hugged her around her legs. 

“The stars are pretty, Mama,” Han said.

“Yes, they sure are, baby,” she said. And one of them shined brighter than the rest.

**Author's Note:**

> So, hi, I've never *actually* written fanfic before, but I've always loved reading it. During quarantine my mind had kept itself busy an dso I decided to give it a shot. It might be a little bit of a slow burn, but I promise it gets spicier! Thanks for reading!


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